A spell Twilight is working on backfires, and she is transported to a planet not unlike her home. Hopefully, Harvest and the UNSC are willing to host a talking horse.
Id say as good a start as any, just remember that past tense exists and can be used even when writing in the now :p I'll send some potential errors later but I need to catch a plane first.
Huh. The present tense narration is as odd feeling to me as it always is once I noticed it. Oh well. The opening in the middle of the Great Canterlot Snow Assault was unexpectedly heartwarming. Nice how you gave us just enough info to figure out where in the timeline you’re starting this, without being blatant and telly about it. Keep writing like that and this’ll be worthy of its watching for however long you run it.
“What was that, Miss Sparkle?” Jasmine asks, her smile turning mischievous, “I swear I thought I heard you call Her Majesty by a nickname. But surely you wouldn’t do that, unless I am missing something?”
Hah! Thank you, random OC pone, for making the observation I did. Good to confirm that this characterization is deliberate. Couple this with the teasing from Cadence and Twilight’s blushing denials, and I now fully expect a dusty armored, battle weary, and altogether badass Twilight to return from her trials at the end of this fic to just walk up to Celly and plant a smooch on her snoot, no longer having fucks to give when it comes to wasting time about the loved ones she fought so hard to return to.
You’d better deliver a worthy ending one day, sir!
Celestia’s reaction and characterization at the end there only serves to confirm the shipping for me.
Spotted an accidental copy paste error:
By the time she makes it to the time she makes it to the center of the common room of her suite,
And this should be “pedigree”:
other such ‘birdlike’ activities in the vicinity of those of superior petogree.
11348293 You're likely not too far off on her return, tbh. But we'll have to see.
Also, that OC is actually the character I play in a dnd game with a bunch of friends, and I just wanted to include her for shits and giggles.
The snowball fight, though, has slightly deeper meaning other than just being fun. But I won't ruin it for people, but regardless it'll be fun when it comes back up ;3
Futurama professor hail science
There are far worse people to take inspiration from. Nice start
Aerial insertion fyi. Ariel is a mermaid.
11315819
Thanks! I'll fix that shortly!
Oi! I see my name in de A/N!
Id say as good a start as any, just remember that past tense exists and can be used even when writing in the now :p
I'll send some potential errors later but I need to catch a plane first.
11317996
Yeah, I need to go back and do some editing now that I have chapter 3 out.
Where does this take place in the timeline? With you mentioning hearths warming Twilight's supposed to be an Alicorn by now.
Reading the spells failure gave me goosebumps
Good job
11335526
Thanks! It was honestly one of my favorite scenes to write so far.
Huh. The present tense narration is as odd feeling to me as it always is once I noticed it. Oh well. The opening in the middle of the Great Canterlot Snow Assault was unexpectedly heartwarming. Nice how you gave us just enough info to figure out where in the timeline you’re starting this, without being blatant and telly about it. Keep writing like that and this’ll be worthy of its watching for however long you run it.
Hah! Thank you, random OC pone, for making the observation I did. Good to confirm that this characterization is deliberate. Couple this with the teasing from Cadence and Twilight’s blushing denials, and I now fully expect a dusty armored, battle weary, and altogether badass Twilight to return from her trials at the end of this fic to just walk up to Celly and plant a smooch on her snoot, no longer having fucks to give when it comes to wasting time about the loved ones she fought so hard to return to.
You’d better deliver a worthy ending one day, sir!
Celestia’s reaction and characterization at the end there only serves to confirm the shipping for me.
Spotted an accidental copy paste error:
And this should be “pedigree”:
11348293
You're likely not too far off on her return, tbh. But we'll have to see.
Also, that OC is actually the character I play in a dnd game with a bunch of friends, and I just wanted to include her for shits and giggles.
The snowball fight, though, has slightly deeper meaning other than just being fun. But I won't ruin it for people, but regardless it'll be fun when it comes back up ;3