The Alley Outside of 7/11: An Anthology

by The Red Parade

Strawberry Sunrise Eats a Metal Pole

“Fuck it. I am going to eat a metal pole.”

“Honey, no,” said Cherry Berry.

“No. I’m eating this pole. You can’t stop me,” said Strawberry Sunrise. She marched up to the lamppost outside of their home.

“Why.”

“I am going to eat this metal pole.”

“Honey,” said Cherry Berry.

Strawberry knocked over the metal pole.

Seconds later, Twilight Sparkle landed in front of her. “Stop! You can’t eat a metal pole, Strawberry!”

“I am going to eat a metal pole,” Strawberry Sunrise said.

“No! You can’t!”

“I am going to eat this metal pole.”

“But…”

“Twilight. I am eating this pole.”

“Okay,” Twilight said, standing aside. “I am kind of curious as to what’s going to happen.”

Strawberry went over to the edge of the pole and took a bite out of it.

“Holy shit, she’s eating the metal pole,” Twilight said in disbelief.

“Honey, why,” Cherry said.

Strawberry didn’t answer, she had a mouthful of metal pole.

“What does it taste like.”

“It tastes like a metal pole,” Strawberry said after swallowing.

“I see.”

“It still tastes better than your stupid fucking beds though.”

“Listen.”