• Published 16th Mar 2020
  • 3,054 Views, 72 Comments

Of Plumbers and Ponies: Kingdom Quest - pokerninja2



Bowser's newest plan to kidnap Peach goes haywire, and it merges the Mushroom Kingdom with Equestria. Stuff happens because of it.

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Two Kingdoms are Merged, Twilight Observes a ? Block, and Spike Gets Attacked by Goombas

"Aaaaaand finished! What do you think, your Giantness?"

The latest scheme Bowser hatched to kidnap Princess Peach was perfect: send the Mario Bros. and their merry bunch of friends to some other world where they wouldn't bother him while he was taking over the kingdom. To do that, he needed a working teleportation machine to throw the brothers into, so he enlisted Kamek and Kammy Koopa in charge of constructing it.

Bowser examined the machine that stood before him. It was... something alright. It was made out of cardboard, a clothes hanger stuck out from the top of it with a band-aid wrapped around it, buttons seemingly made of construction paper decorated the front side, and there was a giant hole that showed the interior, pictures of Bowser scribbled in with markers and crayon. On top of all of that, it was small and it looked like it could barely fit a Toad, much less Mario.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Bowser asked.

"Not at all your Grouchiness," Kammy Koopa said. "We have been hard at work all week long preparing this teleportation device, putting our combined knowledge to the test."

"It may not look like much, but this little machine can send anyone, anywhere!" Kamek followed.

"This looks like something Jr. would make for an arts and crafts project!" Bowser said. "You expect me to believe this cardboard box has the capabilities of teleportation!?"

"Of course, your Heftiness," Kamek said. "All we need is a volunteer to test it on... uh... YOU!"

A nearby Koopa Paratroopa who was minding his own business turned to face Kamek, who was pointing at him.

"Um, me?" he asked.

"Yes, you," Kamek said. "We need you as a test dummy for our new teleportation device for Lord Bowser's plan."

"Umm... OK," the Paratroopa said nervously. He flew into the cardboard box. "This... really doesn't look like a teleporter..."

"Oh but it is!" Kammy Koopa said. "Just let me push the yellow button... or was it the blue one?"

"I'm pretty sure it was the green one," Kamek said.

"Actually, it's probably the chartreuse one," Kammy said.

"No wait, I remember! It was burnt sienna!"

"No, that's the power button! Wait, it's the one that has orange polka dots!"

"WILL YOU GET ON WITH IT!?" Bowser roared.

"Yessir," Kamek said. He pressed the violet button with black stripes, and suddenly the cardboard box started to jump around and spasm. The Magikoopas took a step back, with Bowser mildly impressed that the dingy thing was actually doing something. The Paratroopa inside was getting uneasy.

"Umm... are you sure this is safe!?" the Paratroopa asked.

"Not a clue," Kammy said.

The device shook and bounced around some more until everyone was met with a blue flash. The box landed back on the ground, and the Paratroopa inside was gone. A monitor rose from out of the box's top, showing the Paratroopa in a strange new land.

"IT WORKS!" Kamek shouted in victory.

"SUCCESS!" Kammy cackled.

"Color me surprised," Bowser said. "This dingy thing actually works, about time you two did something useful. Where is he now?"

"According to the data," Kamek said as the device printed out a small paper from a small slot, reading it over. "Our flying friend has landed in a place called Equestria."

"Equestria?" Bowser asked. "That's a lame name."

"Um, guys," the Paratroopa said from the monitor. "This is fun and all and I'm happy the teleporter works, but... how do I get back."

"I... dunno," Kammy said. "I never thought we'd get this far..."

"Looks like you're stuck there for awhile," Kamek said.

"WHAT!?" the Paratroopa protested. He quickly took out his phone and dialed a number in. "Hey, uh, Kelly Koopa? Yeah uh... I don't think I'm gonna make it to Lavaland Grill tonight..."

The monitor shut off and returned to the device. Bowser chuckled in approval.

"Excellent work, Kammy and Kamek," Bowser said, patting their heads. "With this device, we could send Mario and his Council of Annoying Allies to this Equestria place and they'll never bother us again! Finally, I get to flush a plumber down the drain!"

"Yes, your Cleverness!" Kamek said. "This plan was your best one yet!"

"We don't call you Lord Bowser for nothing!" Kammy Koopa followed.

"So what else can this thing do?" Bowser asked, now curious to see what this wacky device was capable of.

"I dunno, we never tested these other buttons," Kamek said. He walked up and pushed the tangerine button with aquamarine stars on it, and the machine suddenly got bigger and started glowing blue.

"Should it be doing that?" Bowser asked.

"No idea," Kamek said.

A giant blue vortex opened from the device and started sucking in everything. Nearby Goombas, Koopas, and Piranha Plants were drawn into the ever-exapnding vortex, probably being transported to who knows where. The Magikoopas clung dearly to Bowser to keep from being sucked in, but even the hefty Koopa King was starting to get pulled in.

"IT'S EVERY KOOPA FOR HIMSELF!" he shouted as he ran off to escape the vortex, leaving his Magikoopa servants to fall into it. The machine's pull was only getting stronger, and the gap between them was gradually closing despite Bowser's best efforts. However, a Chain Chomp flew by and conked Bowser in the head, making him fall unconscious and be sucked into the teleporter's grasp.


Meanwhile, on the other side of the kingdom, a giant feast was being held in honor of the Mushroom Kingdom's greatest heroes throughout the years of adventures they had together. At the end of the table sat Peach, the benevolent princess of the kingdom who ruled it over with a pink thumb. To the sides of her were the famous Mario Bros., who had stomped Bowser one time a many to rescue her whenever danger struck. Also joining the feast were Yoshi and Birdo, their dinosaur allies, Toad and Toadette, siblings who would provide helpful items, and Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong... who didn't really play a part in this rescuing shindig and were only here because bananas were provided.

"I'm so glad you all could join me for dinner," Peach said as the Toad chefs were bringing out the main course - spaghetti and meatballs. Mario and Luigi were practically drooling at the sight of it.

"It's an honor," Mario said, taking a fork and chowing down. "And besides, we're around here so much we may as well live here!"

"You said it, bro!" Luigi agreed. Just then, his pet Polterpup leaped onto his lap and slurped up a meatball.

"Hey!" the green plumber said. "Shoo, shoo!" The Polterpup licked his face and hopped off.

"I need to get myself a pet," Mario said. "It'd be fun having an animal sidekick to adventure with."

"Thanks," Yoshi said sarcastically as he ate his meal.

"Oh you know he didn't mean it like that, darling," Birdo giggled.

"Do I really need to sit next to these guys?" Toad asked as Diddy tossed a banana peel that landed square on his spaghetti.

"Oh come on Toad, they're nice!" Toadette said as Donkey Kong handed Toadette one of his bananas.

"Easy for you to say," Toad grumbled as another peel landed on his head.

Peach simply giggled at all of her friends' conversations. She couldn't be happier to be surrounded by closer friends. However, looking through a window, she noticed something strange in the outskirts of Toad Town.

"Um, everyone?" the princess called out. "Something strange is happening."

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked out the window. There was a giant blue vortex rampaging through the Mushroom Kingdom, and heading straight into Toad Town.

"W-W-W-What is THAT!?" Luigi asked, flabbergasted by the thing.

"One of Bowser's doings I bet!" Mario said. He then turned to face everyone else in the room. "We gotta stop that thing before it destroys the town!"

"Uh, a bit too late for that," Yoshi said, pointing back to the vortex.

Mario turned back around and saw that within seconds it had already sucked up the entirety of Toad Town and was picking up Peach's Castle with it. Luigi held dearly onto his Polterpup as he rocked back and forth on the ground. DK and Diddy's bananas were picked up by the blue twister, and they angrily charged to reclaim them. Toadette held onto Toad's hands before she lost grip and was sucked in. Yoshi grabbed Birdo with his tongue before she could be picked up, only for both of them to fly into it.

"MARIO!" Peach called, hanging to a pillar for dear life.

She lost grip, but Mario grabbed her hand just in time. However, the vortex's force was too strong, and the pillar broke off, sending the both of them into it. Mario tried to wrap his head around what was happening, but a Brick Block smashed into his head, knocking him clear out.


Twilight Sparkle looked over the rims of her cards. Around the big table sat the rest of her friends, and they were having one of their weekly get-togethers at the Castle of Friendship. To her right was Rarity, who kept her cards facing the table, and gave anypony who dared try to sneak a peek at her deck the stink eye. To the left sat Fluttershy, who was looking pretty nervous about her deck. Applejack scratched the back of her head, holding the worst poker face Twilight had ever seen. Pinkie seemed to be pretty confident in her deck, though she didn't seem to care about weather she was winning or not. Rainbow Dash looked bored - she was never one for card games but was persuaded into playing anyway.

This was going to be interesting.

"Everypony ready for another hit?" Trixie asked, decked in her purple cloak and hat. She shuffled the cards with her unicorn magic and dealt them to anypony foolish enough to trust her as the dealer.

"Hit me," Rarity said. She got uncharacteristically competitive during their card games.

"Ah'm no good at this game," Applejack sighed. "Can't we just play Go Fish or somethin'?"

"Applejack, you have a king and an ace, plus there's a ten in the community, what are you talking about!?" Rarity accused.

"Hold on a minute, how did you know what cards she had?" Twilight asked.

"Uh... no reason!" Rarity responded in defense. "Just... lucky guess is all."

Unsatisfied with her answer, Twilight fished below the table and pulled out Spike, who smiled bashfully, much to the princess' disapproval.

"Umm... hi everypony..." he waved.

"Have you been using him to cheat the whole game?" Fluttershy asked.

"You have the best luck out of all of us, Fluttershy, so you can take that innocent attitude and shove it," Rarity said. "I know for a fact that you've had a royal flush the past six hands! And don't think I didn't notice Twilight over here using her magic to shuffle some of the cards!"

"Well, I... uh..." Twilight tried to say to defend herself.

"And as for you, Pinkie," Rarity pointed at the pink party pony. "Did you really think nopony would notice you stealing chips from the middle of the table and making them disappear?"

"But they taste so good with salsa!" Pinkie said, dipping a chip into a giant bowl of salsa she had on the table next to her.

"The only one here playing fair is Rainbow Dash!" Rarity said.

"No, I've been cheating too," Rainbow chuckled. "I've been swapping cards with you girls the whole game!"

There was a moment of silence before the six friends burst into laughter. These weekend hangouts were always so much fun.

"Are we ready yet?" Trixie asked, looking a bit displeased.

"I told you being the dealer for their poker game was a bad idea," Starlight Glimmer said as she trotted up to her blue friend. "I had to do it once and trust me, it never goes right."

The laughing fit continued for some time until Pinkie started feeling... strange. Her tail began twitching, her ears were flapping, her nose was crinkly, and more and more things were happening by the minute. That could only mean one thing.

"My Pinkie Sense!" Pinkie called out. Everypony in the room immediately stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to the now-jittery Pinkie Pie. Looks of concern and horror filled their faces as they looked around, trying to find the source of Pinkie's sense to no avail.

"What's going on!?" Spike asked. "What's gonna happen!?"

"OK so..." Pinkie began as she listed all the things her body was doing. "Twitchy twitchy tail, floppy flappy ears, crinkle crinkly nose, anAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOO!"

Pinkie sneezed so hard that she was blown backwards and hit the wall. Twilight rushed to her aid.

"Super-duper sneezes..." Pinkie finished.

"And what does all that mean?" Twilight asked.

"I dunno, I've never had this happen beforAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOO!" Pinkie started before being interrupted by another sneeze, careening into Applejack. "Must be a real dozy!"

"RUN FOR SHELTER!" Spike called as he started flying to who knows where before being pulled back by Twilight's magic. That didn't stop the dragon's flight though.

"Spike, we're all in the castle, nothing bad is going to happen in here," Twilight said,

"You never know," Pinkie said. "The dozy could happen right here in the middle of the rooAAAAAAACHOOOOOOO!" This time she flew in Starlight's direction, who ducked for cover just in time for Trixie to get hit instead.

"Could you sneeze a LITTLE less violently?" Starlight asked. "You're gonna get us killed!"

"Oh dear!" Fluttershy eeped as she hid her face behind her mane. "What if THAT'S the dozy?"

"Preposterous, dear!" Rarity said, holding a hoof around the yellow pegasus to calm her down. "There is no possible way that all nine of us in this room could suddenly cease to exist!"

As if on cue, Rarity disappeared into a blue flash. Not a trace of the white unicorn was left behind. Fluttershy's eyes widened to the size of plates as she slowly stepped away. Silence fell upon everyone in the room.

"Did I just see... what I think I just saw..." Rainbow said finally. And just like Rarity, she disappeared in a blue flash too. This time, everypony looked around in panic.

"EVERYPONY'S DISAPPEARING!" Pinkie cried out. "That's what the dozy is! We're all gonnaAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOO!" The pink pony flew so fast that she was ricocheting off the walls like a pinball. She flew straight into Twilight, but she disappeared as well just before she could make contact.

"We gotta get outta here!" Applejack cried. "Before all of us-" before she could even finish her sentence, she vanished in a blue flash just like the ponies before her.

That was Fluttershy's breaking point, and she dived onto Twilight and wrapped her front hooves around her, violently sobbing. The remaining ponies and Spike did the same, huddling around the alicorn in fear.

"N-Now everypony calm down," the purple alicorn said, trying (poorly) to ease everypony's fears. "I'm sure that there's a logical explaination for this. We just need to stick together and-"

The second Twilight disappeared, the remaining ones ran off in separate directions before they inevitably vanished as well.


Twilight was unsure how long she was out for. After whatever just happened at the Castle of Friendship, she stirred awake and got on her hooves. As she regained consciousness, memories of what happened flooded back to her. She remembered that her friends were mysteriously disappearing, and judging by where she was, she assumed the same happened to her too.

"Wait, where am I anyway?" Twilight said aloud. She scanned her surroundings... it looked vaguely like Equestria. Same colored grass, same shaped trees, same floating yellow blocks, same clouds, same rainbows, same-

"Wait a minute, what!?" Twilight shook her head and rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't hallucinating. Sure enough, right in front of her was a big, yellow, floating box with a white question mark on it. She slowly approached it, hardly believing what she was seeing right now. This object seemed so... otherworldly.

Thoughts and observations rushed to her mind in seconds. How the heck was this thing floating in midair!? That went against every single law of physics! And why was there a question mark imprinted on it? Did someone draw it on there? And most importantly, what kind of purpose did this object serve? Was it a useful tool or a bad omen?

She investigated further by walking underneath the peculiar block. It was the same color as the rest of it, but no question mark on it. She gently scraped her hoof across the bottom of it. It felt like some kind of metal, like steel. It was cold, too. She pressed her hoof harder on it, and the block moved up slightly. OK, so it was light. She removed her hoof and the block returned to its original position in midair. It seemed to react to gravity at least somewhat.

Wondering if she could push it down, Twilight flew on top of the yellow block and perched herself on it. To her surprise, the block didn't move down at all. Or was it even a surprise? This block was so weird she didn't know what was normal anymore. She was briefly distracted by her surroundings, and saw more floating blocks just like it. Some were alone, some were grouped with more, some were the same size, other were about as long as three blocks in a row. She kept looking around, trying to piece together whatever in Celestia's name was going on with these blocks-

BONK

A force suddenly bumped the block from below, sending Twilight into the air. She didn't have time to react and use her wings to slow her descent before she smacked face first into the grass.

"Yikes, sorry about that," a voice called. "Didn't see you up there. Are you alright?"

Twilight got back up and shook her head, getting all the dirt out of her mane. The first thing she noticed was that the block had somehow turned brown and had no question mark anymore. These mystical blocks... just how many secrets did they hold!?

She shifted her gaze down and saw a humanoid figure standing below it. He looked vaguely like the humans she met in the alternate version of Equestria with Sunset Shimmer, but he looked more stubby and portly. He had a big, round nose and a mustache, and donned blue overalls with a red cap and shirt. She hadn't seen anyone like this before.

Seeing his face of concern, she snapped back to reality, she cleared her throat. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

The figure walked up and examined her himself. He seemed equally surprised at what he was seeing. "You know, I've seen a lot of horses in my day, but I don't think I've ever seen a purple one with wings who could talk."

"You look pretty strange to me, too," Twilight responded. "Oh, and by the way, we use 'pony'."

"Alright, purple pony with wings who can talk, then," the figure responded before holding his hand out for a handshake. "Name's Mario."

"My name is Princess Twilight Sparkle," she responded before taking Mario's hand with her hoof. "But just Twilight is fine."

"Twilight it is then," Mario said before looking around. "You're not from around here either, are you?"

"I have no idea where I am," Twilight admitted. "One moment I was just hanging out with my friends in my castle, then everypony started disappearing randomly in these blue flashes. And next thing I know, I'm here in this world of weird floating blocks."

"You think that's bad?" Mario chuckled. "Try having lunch with your friends before your entire town gets sucked into this giant blue vortex. I'm separated from my friends and trying to find them."

Twilight then realized her friends were missing as well. She looked around, but saw no trace of them.

"I lost mine too," she sighed.

"Hey, maybe we could help each other out?" Mario suggested. "I help you find your friends and you help me find mine. Y'know, a little I-scratch-your-back-you-scratch-mine kinda deal."

"I'd he happy to help," Twilight said, enlightened a bit. "Besides, it's not like either of us know our way around this place, so we may as well stick together."

"Perfect!" Mario said as he jumped away from Twilight and pointed over a nearby forest. "Me and our princess, Peach, are using the remains of her castle over those woods as a makeshift base. Follow me and we'll fill you in."

"Right behind you!" Twilight said as the two started running towards the forest.


"So those yellow blocks come from your world?" Twilight asked. "And those giant tubes sticking out of the ground I keep seeing?"

"They're pretty commonplace where I come from, but it's probably hard for someone not from there to wrap their head around," Mario answered.

"Well, what do they do?" Twilight asked. "Where do they come from?"

"You sure do ask a lot of questions," Mario chuckled.

"Yeeeeaaaah, I get that a lot..." Twilight said as she rubbed the back of her neck.

"Well it's not so hard to understand," Mario answered, walking right under a ? Block to explain. "These things are called ? Blocks, and they hold all sorts of helpful items if you hit them from below. Watch this!"

Mario revved up for one of his signature jumps, but before he could, Twilight's ears picked up a faint cry.

"WAIT!" she called out, causing Mario to miss the block and land right in front of her hooves.

"Sorry about that," Twilight said. "But listen! You hear that?"

Mario listened, and sure enough he was able to hear the voice too. "Yeah, I hear it," he said.

The duo followed the voice through some bushes and looked down a steep cliff. There, Twilight saw a group of small, brown, chestnut-like creatures marching toward something. She shifted her gaze more downward and saw-

"Spike!" she called out in a whisper. Mario followed her glance and saw a small, purple dragon being cornered behind a rock. Those Goombas were probably after him!

"You know this guy?" Mario asked.

"Yes, he's my one of my best friend and personal assistant," Twilight answered. "And he's being attacked by those... weird... brown things!"

"What, Goombas?" Mario asked. "I beat those guys every day. Let me show you how to handle them."

Down at the bottom of the cliff, Spike was running out of room as the Goombas approached him. Like Twilight, he had no idea where he was, and seeing these weird creatures charging at him was something he wasn't prepared for.

"I thought dragons were supposed to be big and scary," one of the Goombas said. "Not small and weak!"

"Hey, I'm not weak!" Spike defended.

"Well then let's see what you got!" another Goomba taunted. Just before the squad to charge at him, Mario landed right between them and Spike, and looked at them rather angrily. The Goombas practically melted at the sight of him.

"10 against one is hardly a fair fight!" Mario said.

"IT'S MARIO!" a Goomba shouted. "HOW DID HE GET HERE!?"

"I dunno, but RETREAT!" another said.

As the Goombas scattered around aimlessly, Mario took naturally to stomping on their heads. One after one, he leaped into the air and flattened them with his feet, causing them to disappear. Twilight immediately flew down the cliff and approached Spike, who looked at her in disbelief.

"Twilight!?" he said before immediately diving into her for a hug, which she embraced. "I thought I'd never see you again after you disappeared!"

"I didn't know if I'd see you again either," Twilight said.

"Well, that's all of them," Mario said as he rubbed his hands together. Sure enough, every Goomba that was pursuing Spike was gone. "Told you they were nothing to worry about."

"That was so cool the way you took care of those brown guys!" Spike cheered as he flew around Mario.

"Spike, this is Mario," Twilight said as she introduced him. "He's going to help us find the rest of our friends and find out what the hay happened to us."

"Well, nice to meet you, Mario," Spike said. "Nice 'stache."

"Thanks," Mario said as he twirled the tip of it around his finger.

"HEY, WATCH OUT!" Twilight called. Mario turned behind him and saw a big hammer come flying in his direction. Just before it could deck him in the face, Twilight used her alicorn magic to hold it in place, causing it to emit a purple aura.

"You can do telekinesis too?" Mario asked. "And you say my world's stuff is weird..."

"There's a lot more where they came from, bud!"

Mario turned his direction toward the voice and saw a gang of Hammer Bros. perched on the trees above them. They were readying their hammers for another attack. Mario instantly jumped out of the way to dodge the volley of flying hammers. He kept avoiding their mallets until he found a ? Block.

"Hey Twilight, time to show you what these blocks can do!" he called out.

The purple pony looked at the plumber as he ran around. He jumped up and hit the block with his fist, causing a weird red flower to appear from it. Mario leaped onto the block and grabbed it.

"Bingo!" he said as he held it up. "Your hammers are no match for the power of-"

During his monologue, a hammer hit him clean from behind, causing the flower to fall out of his hands and fly through the air. It kept soaring though the air until it made contact with Twilight's horn, immediately causing her to absorb its power. The transformation caught her by surprise, as she felt herself covered in flames, except it didn't burn. Her normally purple coat was now magenta, and she could see her mane had changed from indigo to red.

"What's going on with me!?" Twilight exclaimed.

"That's a Fire Flower and you just became Fire Twilight or whatever," Mario explained as he was dodging another hammer volley. "No time to explain, just use your new fire powers!"

"What new fire powers!?" Twilight asked. She glanced beside herself and saw Spike cheering Mario on, saying "Kick their flanks!" or "Go Mario, go!" He was too caught up in the moment to see a hammer flying right in his direction.

"Spike, look out!" she called. The dragon saw the hammer and crossed his arms over his face to protect himself.

Twilight tried to stop it with her magic like she did before, but to her surprise the hammer suddenly caught on fire. Startled, she whisked it away, causing it to fly in the Hammer Bros.' direction and blast away one of them. It was at that point she realized her newfound strength. The Hammer Bros. started directing their attacks at her, and she flew out of their way. Twilight then generated purple fireballs from her horn and launched them at the turtles, knocking one down with each hit. When just one remained, she fired an extra-big fireball that took down the whole tree it was sitting on. She floated back to the ground, surprised at what she had just done. Mario and Spike ran up to her.

"Y... You OK, Twilight?" Spike asked.

"OK? OK?" Twilight answered. "I've never felt better! Did you see those fireballs I shot from my horn!? I feel so powerful now!"

"Yup, power-ups will do that to you," Mario said.

"So how long does this last?" Twilight asked, immediately wanting new information about this phenomenon. "Like, an hour? Half an hour?"

"No, you can keep it as long as you want until-"

While Twilight was distracted, one last hammer hit her square in the jaw, knocking her down. Her magenta fur and red mane turned back to their standard purple and indigo respectively.

"-that happens," Mario finished.

"Chew on that, horse!" the Hammer Bro. taunted as he escaped.

Twilight regained her footing, mildly upset her fire powers were gone now. "So that's what ? Blocks do? Give you special items that grant powers?"

"More or less," Mario answered.

"Awesome!" Spike cheered. "Hey, next time, I wanna get fire powers. It's gonna make my fire breath ultra-strong!"

"When all of this is sorted out I'm definitely going to research these strange artifacts," Twilight said. "Anyway, we should get to the castle Mario was talking about, where is it?"

"It's just past these trees," Mario answered. He leaped forward while Twilight and Spike flew right behind him.

Author's Note:

I'm a few days late for Mar10 day but also shut up. :ajbemused: