Honestly I am LOVING this right now. Not even for the possible porn and spicy scenes to come. No because of how they addressed Spike not feeling like part of the group. It really makes alot of sense when you think of it all and I really can't wait to see how this will go. Not for the intimate scene but for the development in the group and of Spike. I mean do those two REALLY think that Spike will want any intimate or moment with those two after this? He will turn them away for sure, but once they beg and plead for a chance to make it right Spike will break. Because to him THEY are the most important people in his life. Sure they might not see him as one of them and as a joke, but as long as he is in their life he is.... happy? That is how he will see it at least. What I want to know is how Rarity feel for this Spike. I am a MAJOR sucker for Sparity to this day and I think it would be interesting if this is a spark to her thinking on her feelings on Spike. And maybe not just her but Twilight as well, really out of EVERYONE I think Rarity and Twilight has the closest bond to Spike and those two fit as possible partners to him better than anyone.

So, this feels anthro even though its not tagged? Why would Rarity need to cover her front if she's non-anthro?

10125465
Yes, this story is anthro. Sorry about that, I'll tag it properly. Thank you.

10125396
I'm glad you love this. And as a spoiler You're not too far off on Dash and Pinkey begging for forgiveness. I can't say Spike will get all the mares, unfortunately. But I have some ideas for the next story.

10126291
That is fine with me and makes me happy to hear honesty. I feel the story has more impact and genuine connection if he doesnt get all the girls but just those close to him. That is why to me twi and rarity would be the best match for him. Tho that is my opinion lol. Still cant wait to see more of your works and hopefully more Spike centered stories

10125396
Except maybe Starlight.

10126389
Yeah. Another thing you brought up was how they treat him. I mean Twilight, having a brother/sister relationship, kinda treats him like a slave or an employee at times. We do see Rarity kinda being just flat out mean at times to Spike, but we do see her treat him well other times as well (at the spa in dragon drop, or valuing his option at a jeweler). The only ones I think treat Spike well throughout are Pinkie, Applejack and Fluttershy.

It's a good concept, but it would be far easier to read if you got a proof-reader. Your grammar is honestly not very good. For one thing, you have commas and periods both before and after the quotation marks on the dialogues. Once a sentence ends inside the quotation marks, you don't need further commas or periods.

That being said, I like how you fleshed this concept out more than In Hot Water did; your version has the characters acting much more realistic with their personas.

10127154
Thank you for the feedback and kind words. Grammar has, ironically, been a weak point of my writing. I tried to use a grammar program to help, but it appears that it's not working. So if I'm understanding you right, it should be Spike said "No! Don't go into the light.". ?

10127713

It should be:

Spike said, "No! Don't go into the light."

No extra period after the " (quotation marks). The sentence ended after the first period and the quotation marks signify the end of Spike's dialogue.

...If you do want a proof-reader, myself and others are available. I'll admit, I've never proof-read a clop-fic before, but I can help with the grammar if nothing else.

10128177
I see. Thank you. I edited pt 1 a bit with those corrections (I hope I have anyway). I appreciate the offer for a proofreader but I'm going to study grammar instead. Thank you again anyway for the tips.

Dashie and Pinkie just know they fucked up. Though tbh, I think it would’ve been just a little more impactful if Twi held up the towel with the blood stain to further emphasize just how badly they did.

10137935
I didn’t think of that. Maybe if she was less angry. I did try to write her in such a rage state she was trying to hold herself back more than shame them.

Chapter 1 review:
This was very solid. Spike stood up for himself and balked at what happened, Twi and Rarity stood up for him, all quite good. The grammar and pacing is a little wonky, but otherwise quite enjoyable so far.