Full Lance & The Holy Roman Empire

by Merallakos

Where Manners meet the Manor

Full Lance entered the dining hall, directly adjacent to the kitchen. Almost immediately he noticed the smell of unbathed peasantry, a direct contrast to the tall arched ceiling of the dining hall constructed from timber frame and solidly jointed stone walls. The peasants milled about around the hall and around the long table, a few newcomers even gawked in awe at the size of the space they were in, but none seemed particularly comfortable.

*Ahem,* Lance cleared his throat and reared up briefly to get everyone's attention. He began, "Now even though it's been a year of waiting, I can assure you, the food is almost ready now!"

The peasantry stared at him skeptically, he knew a fare chunk by name, but there were a number of new faces.

"Everypony, I want to thank you all personally, harvest season is almost over now, and this year's crop is the best yet! I can see that you've been quite busy in the fields and furrows, but now is the time to rest easy. Soon the first snows will be coming and you'll all be gathered up by the fire spinning, telling stories and playing games. I invited you all here this evening not only to commemorate your hard work, but this is also a very special day for me too." Full Lance gave them a full smile. "But for now, please take a seat at the dining table and socialize, the food should be ready any minute."

The ponies filed around the table, sitting and striking up conversations. Full Lance glanced around, and found himself near a conspicuously heavily built pony,

"Grind Seed," Full Lance opened. "It's been since that incident with the mill stone since I last saw you! How have you been?"

"Well since you dropped that thing on my hoof I haven't hardly been able to hold a chisel straight," Grind seed said, "but I guess you could call it the work of Providence," Grind Seed said with a husky chuckle.

"Providence? I'd say that's the furthest thing from it!"

"Oh you wouldn't believe the amount of work I've been able able to wiggle out of with this," he waggled his hoof that only now starting to grow back normally, "and my wife thinks it's a real pity too," he winked.

Knowing Grind Seed that could mean any number of things... none of which Full Lance wanted to consider. He looked up and down the table, but he realized Grind Seed's wife was missing.

Full Lance stared briefly at the Grind Seed's beefy shoulders, then his unusually smooth hooves. Typically the pony sported more chips and scratches on his hooves than an unshod courier pony. He was about to ask Grind seed about it, when he realized another pony, missing part of his ear, had already taken up the conversation.

"And so then," said rasped pony, "the guy slipped and fell right into the river, so I had to dive in and save him, but as I got to the river bank my leg got caught in a bush! You would not believe how prickly river bushes can be!"

Grind seed chuckled sympathetically.

"I swear," the pony admonished, "it was like someone had taken a bunch cat's claws, planted them, then" --The other pony continued on with his story making elaborate gestures.

In a way Full Lance was sure he'd heard it before. Maybe once in a tavern? If so he must've been quite drunk, as he could not remember the last time he had visited a tavern. It must've been the last time he went into the castle town though; he could hardly resist stopping by the old tavern anymore. It felt almost like a tradition.

"Master!" a hazel unicorn colt rushed over to Full Lance's side.

"Ah, boy. I wondered where you were."

"Never mind that master, Minty is ready begin serving the guests!"

"Oh right!" said Full Lance. He struck his mug with his fork, which despite it's rather woody acoustic qualities ended up producing a clear note, quieting the conversation around the room to a murmur.

"Fillies and gentlecolts!" Full lance stood up to gain the attention of the guests.

Even as Full Lance began talking, kitchen staff was already moving into the dining hall carrying the anticipated feast.

"I mentioned today was a special day for me as well," Full Lance said. "I'm sure most of you remember, three years ago our gracious Duke Bell knighted me for honorable military service."

Even as Full Lance spoke, the aromas of cooked fish and vegetables were beginning to probe the hall and the twitching noses of the guests seated around the table.

"Even better than receiving an honorable title," Full Lance continued, "I also have the privilege of leading this wonderful manor and community! I couldn't have asked for a better lot in life!"

Full Lance noticed the steamed vegetables, garnished fish wrapped in bread along with onions and pickles, and various other vegetative culinary delights being ushered along the table.

"I've never seen such hard working and competent ponies." Full Lance noticed a rather extremely well prepared salmon take residence near him. "I'd like to personally thank Grind Seed, our mason, for going above and beyond helping construct the Mill."

A strange dish involving cabbage cheese and chicken was sitting right next to Full Lance, but he continued, "I'd like to thank Red Blade for the exceptional quality of smithing he and his son have routinely produced this year!"

Even as the Red Blade blushed at the complement, he too seemed to be eyeing the various foods being amassed,

"I'd like to thank all of the farmers and everyone else who helped work the fields!" Full Lance said.

The aromas of gourmet dishes, hot sauces and good beverages were now mingling in the air in an appetizing waltz. Grind Seed was not the only pony visibly salivating.

"And Finally," Full Lance said at last," I'd like to thank our lovely cook, Mint Simmer, and her assistants who have prepared this feast for us. Now, let us drink and eat! For you, for me, for us!" The crowd echoed Full Lance.
And the feast began.

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Author's Note:

Today's proverb: Your hair is like a hat.