11 Short Dreams About Equestria

by FanficReader920

Dream #11: Spike

At last, the Dread Pirate Spike had caught up with Princess Raricup. Unfortunately, directly to her right sat the one who had dared kidnapped the fair maiden in the first place: Prince Bluebloodini, and the confidence he wore made Spike's inner blood boil hotter than a volcano. However, nothing would get in the way of his quest.

He slowly approached the wicked Prince, sitting behind a rock that held a bottle of wine and two goblets. It was actually quite a beautiful day too, all things considered, a nice partly cloudy sky and vegetation that stretched for miles around them. As for the Princess, her savior may have been oh so close, but she had already lost so much hope that all she could do was listen for the winner between the Dread Pirate and the Prince, thanks to the blindfold Bluebloodini placed on her earlier.

"So it is down to you, and it is down to me. If you wish her dead, by all means, keep moving forward," Bluebloodini taunted.

"Let me explain—" Spike started.

"There's nothing to explain," the Prince interrupted. "You're trying to kidnap what I have rightfully stolen!"

How come everyone the Dread Pirate came across thought he was trying to kidnap the Princess for himself? Just because he was a pirate didn't mean he wasn’t capable of doing good. It was discrimination, at best.

"Perhaps an arrangement can be reached, then?" the drake proposed.

"There will be no arrangement," retorted the Prince.

"Well, if there can be no arrangement, then we are at an impasse," Spike observed.

"I'm afraid so," Bluebloodini agreed. "I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains."

"You're that smart?"

"Let me put it this way: have you ever heard of Starswirl, Clover the Clever, and Twilight Sparkle?"

"Yes."

"Morons."

"Really," Spike said, not showing much of a reaction. "In that case, I challenge you to a battle of wits."

"For the princess?" The Dread Pirate nodded in confirmation. "To the death?" Another nod. "I accept."

"Good. Then pour the wine."

The Princess' captor followed the instruction as the drake reached into his satchel and pulled out a small brown vial. Sitting down on the rock opposite the one that had the goblets on it, he offered the vial to his opponent. "Inhale this, but do not touch."

After he did so, the Prince remarked, "I smell nothing."

"What you do not smell is called Kivi powder," the Dread Pirate explained. "It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and being derived from the optic nerves of cockatrices, it is among the more deadly poisons known to Equestria."

"Hmmmm."

Spike took the two goblets, and turned around, hiding them from Bluebloodini's view. Once he was satisfied, he turned back around, placing one cup in front of the Prince, and the other in front of himself. "All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right… and who is dead."

The Prince looked at his opponent as if he held him for a simpleton. "But it's so simple," he explained. “All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of creature who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's?"

He gestured to the goblet in front of the Dread Pirate. "Now, a clever creature would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool," he said, gesturing to himself. "So, I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool..." He now gestured to the goblet closest to him. "You would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me." His hoof now returned to his side.

"You've made your decision then?"

"Not remotely," Bluebloodini started again. "Because Kivi comes from Dimondia, as every creature knows, and Dimondia is entirely populated with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you."

"Truly, you have a dizzying intellect," the Dread Pirate sarcastically remarked.

"Wait till I get going!" the Prince boasted. "Where was I?"

"Dimondia."

"Yes, Dimondia," Bluebloodini started again. "You must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me."

"Okay, now you're just stalling."

"You'd like to think that, wouldn't you?" The captor's hoof was now consistently pointing at the drake.

"You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong..."

Indeed, the Dread Pirate had defeated the giant, Bulkzik. However, it wasn't because he was necessarily strong. He did it only because he was able to wrap his arms around the giant’s neck, causing him to lose consciousness from lack of breath.

"...So you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting in your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my swordsmare..."

The less Spike heard, "My name is the Great and Powerful Trixoya! You killed my father. Prepare to die," the better.

"...Which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me." His hoof returned to his side again.

"You're trying to trick me into giving away something," the drake observed. "It won't work."

"It has worked!" Bluebloodini asserted. "You've given everything away! I know where the poison is!"

"Then make your choice," the Dread Pirate calmly demanded.

"I will, and I choose— What in the world can that be?" the Prince pointed to a bush behind Spike.

"What? Where? I don't see anything." The Dread Pirate turned around to see what the prince had spotted.

"Well, I-I could have sworn I saw something. No matter," the captor lied, unable to help a smirk from crossing his face.

"What's so funny?"

"I'll tell you in a minute. First, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours."

The adversaries both picked up their respective goblets, each slowly taking a big long sip of its respective contents.

"You guessed wrong," Spike calmly said.

"You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny!" the prince gloated. "I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool!"

The Dread Pirate's calm expression never left his face.

"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Yakyakistan, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a prince when death is on the line!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Ha ha ha—"

Bluebloodini's seemingly victorious laughter came to a complete halt, as he no longer had the organic vocal cords to do that. Due to not having sat up on his center of balance, the now stony prince fell to his right, rolling down the hill, likely never to emerge again.

After taking a moment of pride in his clever work, the Dread Pirate stood from his rock seat and attended to Princess Raricup, removing her blindfold and letting her see her savior for the first time.

"Who are you?" the princess asked. That's right, she hadn't recognized him yet. He'd have to fix that as soon as they were in a more secure location.

"I'm no one to be trifled with," he warned. "That is all you ever need know."

"And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned," Raricup whispered.

"They were both poisoned," Spike revealed. "I spent the last few years building up an immunity to Kivi powder."

"Hmmmm," the princess remarked, impressed at the dread pirate's clever gambit, before the two ran off.

---

"And that's how I met your mother," Spike said, as he got up from his seat next to a bed.

"That's not the end of the story, Daddy!" a light purple quadrupedal dragoness said as she was tucked in said bed.

"It is for tonight, little miss," he asserted. "You have school tomorrow."

"Mommy! Make Daddy tell the rest of the story!"

"You couldn't have waited till the weekend to tell that story, darling?" Rarity questioned as she passed her daughter's room, a laundry basket in her magical grasp.

"You know how much I love telling it," the drake replied.

"Go to sleep, darling," Rarity ordered. "Daddy will finish the story tomorrow."

---

That should be a good dream to end on, Luna thought to herself as the white flash that signaled her exit from the dream faded.

She took one more moment to gaze at the infinite amounts of dreams around her. Her sister had been right. There were so many creatures that lived in their magical land, each of them having their own likes, dislikes, strengths, fears, and insecurities. It was… beautiful, in a way.

Maybe Luna should take a page out of Celestia's book at some point in the future. Maybe a lifetime among her subjects could do her some good.

Leaving that thought to be followed up on another time, Luna lit the creases of her horn white, as she began to wake up.

Her sister awaited.

Author's Note:

Fun Fact: Kivi is actually Estonian for "Stone."