HA! The song have been stuck in my head since I saw the title, so time for some revenge!
It is the first time in a long long while that I see a story being made in present tense, and I must admit that it fucked a bit with my brain for the first few lines since I am so used to FoE to be written in past tense. I am quite curious if you have any specific reason for that choice, and what that could be?
In media res stories can be quite interresting at times, even if I prefer a nice little prologue and a single chapter or two to get to know the main character, and I think that it is one of the first, if not the first, time that I see in media res being used to jump straight to the goal of the main char, or at least the last arc in a characters story where they reaches their life long goal.
Was it not because you have caught my interrest with taking inspiration from one of my favorite side missions in FoE ever would I sadly most likely not stay around for the next chapter because of the two writing choices above, But I can honestly say that I am looking forward to see how close we are getting to the moon, and why our Scholar wants to go there... and if it is made out of cheese or just boring rock.
Nitpicks: “For whom exactly?!” This part is spoken out loud, not a thought, so no need to keep it in italics
10884007 Hehe, yeah, that is a good song. I listened to it a couple of times while writing this and probably would have changed the title to "To The Moon" because of this song had my pre-reader and my editor not talk me out of it.
As for the present tense stuff? Huh, that is the first time someone asked me that question. For context, I started writing this back in 2014 and this story was the first time I ever bothered doing anything related to fanfiction writing. So originally I did it because Fallout: Equestria did it. But as I wrote more and got the hang of writing in first person, I liked how it make certain people feel like they were going on the journey with Intrepid. That and a few later scenes wouldn't really have the kind of impact I needed had it been in past tense. Hopefully it doesn't prove too much of a bother for you going forward.
I'll freely admit that I'm not quite sure what you mean with you In Media Res paragraph. It wasn't really my intent to start the story In Media Res but to follow Kurt Vonnegut’s advice to start as close to the end of a story as possible. Which meant joining our main character at his lowest point before the story I wanted to tell starts. I am actually curious what kind of life long goals you think Intrepid is going for or has obtained in this chapter? And I hope the next chapter gives you a better idea of what kind of a person Intrepid is.
I am happy that you are giving it a shot despite the issues you have with the story so far! I am a big fan of the Come Fly With Me sidequest (if it wasn't obvious enough already) and doing my take on it in the FoE universe. It actually surprised me that no one had done a story on it yet (at least, back when I started writing it. I don't really know if anyone has made an attempt nowadays). If you have any more questions, please let me know. I'll do my best to answer them.
On the subject of the nitpick, that one is probably going to pop up as you go through the story. I was a new writer at the time and used italics inside quotes to emphasis certain words and phrases. I had the mind to go back and change it, but after five years of writing and rewriting this thing I eventually had to draw a line and finally publish the story. Feel free to continue to point this stuff out. I can't guarantee that I'll fix it, but anything that I can keep in mind when I work on my next story helps.
Anyway, thank you for commenting! I hope you have a good day.
hum, could be interesting keep it up.
10122698
Thank you. I hope you find the next chapter to be even more interesting when I post it tomorrow.
HA! The song have been stuck in my head since I saw the title, so time for some revenge!
It is the first time in a long long while that I see a story being made in present tense, and I must admit that it fucked a bit with my brain for the first few lines since I am so used to FoE to be written in past tense. I am quite curious if you have any specific reason for that choice, and what that could be?
In media res stories can be quite interresting at times, even if I prefer a nice little prologue and a single chapter or two to get to know the main character, and I think that it is one of the first, if not the first, time that I see in media res being used to jump straight to the goal of the main char, or at least the last arc in a characters story where they reaches their life long goal.
Was it not because you have caught my interrest with taking inspiration from one of my favorite side missions in FoE ever would I sadly most likely not stay around for the next chapter because of the two writing choices above, But I can honestly say that I am looking forward to see how close we are getting to the moon, and why our Scholar wants to go there... and if it is made out of cheese or just boring rock.
Nitpicks:
“For whom exactly?!” This part is spoken out loud, not a thought, so no need to keep it in italics
10884007
Hehe, yeah, that is a good song. I listened to it a couple of times while writing this and probably would have changed the title to "To The Moon" because of this song had my pre-reader and my editor not talk me out of it.
As for the present tense stuff? Huh, that is the first time someone asked me that question. For context, I started writing this back in 2014 and this story was the first time I ever bothered doing anything related to fanfiction writing. So originally I did it because Fallout: Equestria did it. But as I wrote more and got the hang of writing in first person, I liked how it make certain people feel like they were going on the journey with Intrepid. That and a few later scenes wouldn't really have the kind of impact I needed had it been in past tense. Hopefully it doesn't prove too much of a bother for you going forward.
I'll freely admit that I'm not quite sure what you mean with you In Media Res paragraph. It wasn't really my intent to start the story In Media Res but to follow Kurt Vonnegut’s advice to start as close to the end of a story as possible. Which meant joining our main character at his lowest point before the story I wanted to tell starts. I am actually curious what kind of life long goals you think Intrepid is going for or has obtained in this chapter? And I hope the next chapter gives you a better idea of what kind of a person Intrepid is.
I am happy that you are giving it a shot despite the issues you have with the story so far! I am a big fan of the Come Fly With Me sidequest (if it wasn't obvious enough already) and doing my take on it in the FoE universe. It actually surprised me that no one had done a story on it yet (at least, back when I started writing it. I don't really know if anyone has made an attempt nowadays). If you have any more questions, please let me know. I'll do my best to answer them.
On the subject of the nitpick, that one is probably going to pop up as you go through the story. I was a new writer at the time and used italics inside quotes to emphasis certain words and phrases. I had the mind to go back and change it, but after five years of writing and rewriting this thing I eventually had to draw a line and finally publish the story. Feel free to continue to point this stuff out. I can't guarantee that I'll fix it, but anything that I can keep in mind when I work on my next story helps.
Anyway, thank you for commenting! I hope you have a good day.