Prologue
Once upon a time in the magical land of Equestria, many creatures from playful ponies to daring dragons lived each day together with joy and wonderment.
But then the catastrophe happened. An unimaginable power tore through the very star Equestria orbited, and the world and it's two moons were set adrift into cold space. But the Alicorns, the most magical and wise race within Equestria, would not let this be the end. Bringing their magic together they sacrificed everything for the world they so loved.
Queen Majesty of the Alicorns sent herself to the first moon, imbuing it with their power and love, breathing the flame of life into it so that would forever bring light and happiness every being of Equestria.
King Grace of the Alicorns sent himself to the second moon, imbuing it with their strength and wisdom, scattering countless lights across the darkness surrounding their world, to forever guide and protect the destiny of the world below.
And to watch over the new sun and stars the last of the Alicorns, two sisters, were left behind. But when the world looked like it was saved, the sisters disappeared with only this message remaining:
Beware, the dark stars shall aid in her escape and the world will be cast in eternal night.
Without the sisters, the magic of the Alicorns went out of control and the lands of Equestria were torn apart by eternal tempests. Earth Ponies, Pegasus, Unicorns, and others were separated and left adrift from each other, with travel between the lands being full of danger and risk.
But not all was lost, and the new sun and moon continued to shine and in time life adjusted to this divided world. Creatures of all kinds went about their lives and eventually the tale of the Alicorn's and the two sisters passed into myth. But just because the warning was forgotten did not mean the danger was gone, and one day a new light would be needed to fight the coming Shadows....
The thatched roofs of Ponyville shown golden in the light of the early morning sun as a trio of earth ponies trotted down the road. An empty cart being pulled behind the largest of the trio, a mountain of a pony with a coat of dark red and a mane of corn silk yellow. His companions, a rather tall - though not as tall as her brother - pony with a healthy orange coat and blonde mane in a braid and her sister spoke amicably as the family headed into the town market.
The street was a bustle of noise and chatter as herds of earth ponies and the cheery whistles of small steam engines joined together to form the musical back ground to Ponyville’s early morning. Small groups of ponies worked together to open the shuttered store fronts as two ponies would alternate pulling on the chains to hoist the shop doors while others hustled too and from to set out tables and wind-up the displays.
The occasional clockwork cart rattled along the street, guided by some family on their way to market. A baker pulled back the great brake lever on a mixing bowl releasing the ceramic arm of the mixer to reach into the pony sized bowl as a trio of assistants poured in a large sack of flour, two firmly gripping with their jaws the opening of the bag as the third tilted the bottom of the bag up with his head. Across the way a florist hummed a lively tune as she patted down the soil of the flower pot before her as her tail hit a switch, setting a series of small spring loaded gears spinning as they cranked open the greenhouse’s skylight.
All around ponies worked together with each other and their mechanical helpers.
“Hey Applejack, so what are we getting today?” the youngest of the group inquired, her bright red bow bouncing jauntily in her fiery red mane set against her light-yellow coat.
“The new school year’s starting up soon so we’ll need to pick up some new supplies for you Apple Bloom. Not to mention that Big Mac needs new work shoes and I’ll need to replace my work shoes for the new place I’m starting at.” Applejack replied as she and her sister Apple Bloom kept up with the larger stallion’s gentle pace.
“Ya mean that you’ve got to pay so you can work for somepony else?”
“The working world can be a cruel place sometimes little sis, especially if you’re only working part time. No one’s really willing to spring for your stuff.” The blonde mare answered as her and her brother’s shoulders seemed to sag and their expressions took on a dead and lifeless stare. Shaking her head a bit, the orange pony continued on, “and of course granny wanted us to pick up a few more jars and a new ladle at Barn Yard Bargains and finally check out a copy of ‘Records of Rare Root Remedies’ from the library.”
The mention of the final stop brought a sudden momentary stop to the youngest member of the group before she quickly sprinted ahead to catch up to her retreating companions. “The library? Do we really have to go there? Can’t we just pick up a new copy at a book store or something?”
“Now now Apple Bloom, there’s no sense in buying a new copy when we can just borrow what we need for now. Besides there’s nothing wrong with the library, don’t you like all those comic books they have now?”
“Well yeah…,” Apple Bloom groused as she looked away, her head hung low. “it’s just Ms. Sparkle can be kind of …weird. How’s she able to live without anypony else like that? Just isn’t natural.”
Rolling her eyes Apple Jack briefly chuckled. “I’ll agree that she is a bit of a strange one, but she’s a hard-working mare when it comes to those books of hers, and you know she isn’t really alone.”
“You know what I mean, she’s barely in town for more than an hour and barely talks to anypony else. And one time I saw her just walk right by somepony that was struggling to unload some carrots from a cart, who does something like that?”
Frowning a bit, Apple Jack nodded slightly acknowledging her sister’s claim, but decided to try to defend the young librarian. “That may be true, but we don’t know Ms. Sparkle’s side of the story now do we?”
Seeing her sister shake her head Apple Jack leaned down to gently nuzzle Apple Bloom, “Who knows, maybe she didn’t see that other pony, or she could have been in a rush to help somepony else she promised. These things sometimes happen. So, I don’t want you to go around spreading rumors about another member of the community like that, we all stick together; it’s the Earth Pony way.”
Deflating a bit Apple Bloom conceded as she brushed up against her older sister to show her apology. “OK AJ, I guess it could have been something else. I’ll try to keep an open mind about Ms. Sparkle.”
“That’s all I’m asking,” Apple Jack replied, giving the filly a brief hug. “Why I’m sure the Ms. Sparkle every bit a loving member of the Ponyville community as any other Earth Pony!”
“Ugh,” Twilight Sparkle grunted as she flopped her head down upon her desk. “I hate everypony here. Spike, I command you to burn this town down to the ground.”
Smirking from his side of the room, a small dragon with purple scales and green back and head frills continued to shelve a small pile of books back into place. “Don’t tempt me Twi, if I did who would we buy our groceries from?”
Grumbling under her breath the purple Earth Pony with a starburst pattern on her flank and a purple mane with a pink streak tied in a bun, slowly rose to a sitting position upon her cushion. “Would it kill those ponies to actually return their books on time? Or without damaging the spines? Or not spill pony know’s what on the pages? Or to not rip the pages!?”
Seeing his companion grow increasingly agitated Spike the dragon leisurely jogged across the room to gently rub her shoulders. “Hey now, I know that ponies can be idiots a lot of times, but even I’ve got to admit that not all of you are that bad. Don’t let a few rotten apples spoil the rest of your day.”
The tension easing from her withers as Spike continued his skillful ministrations, the town librarian and semi-professional mad scientist began to relax.
“I guess you’re right, I suppose you only need to burn down half the town.”
Chuckling the young drake patted his roommate on the back, “There you go, now we’ll only be imprisoned in Tartarus for a hundred years instead of a thousand. I knew you were a smart mare.”
The town library that was the current home to Twilight Sparkle and Spike Dragon was one of the oldest living spaces in Ponyville. A testament to the power of Earth Pony magic, it was grown from seed and lovingly shaped and sculpted by the early settlers. Not a single nail nor saw was ever used in its construction. A true living home that had acted as a shelter to its earliest inhabitants, then as a gathering space, and finally a library to the history of the community around it. Any visitor to the town was always enraptured by the massive tree in the center of the old district of Ponyville, its branches holding various rooms and storage spaces, and its green leaves providing shade and comfort to passersby.
Within its hallowed confines Twilight and Spike had made a home for themselves and now oversaw the day to day operations of the library and the needs of its patrons.
Blowing her mane out of her eyes, Twilight and Spike continued to go through the libraries old and new inventory, the occasional title catching one of their interest before being tucked away to be read later. Twilight's pile being the larger by far. The comics were special to them both though, as each title generated a new debate from the plausibility of the villain’s plan actually working in real life to all the different applications to a hero’s super power. Thus, the two quietly passed the afternoon away in comfort.
Until said comfort was broken by the door slamming open from the entrance of three lively and loud ponies. “Morning Ms. Sparkle! We were wondering if you had a copy of ‘Records of Rare Root Remedies’ in stock?” the Orange Earth Pony with the long blonde mane exclaimed as the door loudly slammed shut behind her and her compatriots. Beside her, the younger filly looked curiously around, the yellow one zeroing in on the comics section and already beginning to trot in that direction. While outside a large red stallion stood by two wagons keeping watch.
Wincing from the noise, Twilight set her stamp down as she put on an obviously forced and painful smile upon her face as she faced the one facet of being a librarian that she despised. Dealing with visitors. “There’s a perfectly organized and updated card catalogue right next to the entrance, directly to your right actually. I’m sure you can find whatever book you are looking for using that.”
“Well,” Applejack hemmed as she rubbed the back of her head, “I thought that since you know the library so well, I could just ask you about it, seeing as how you live here as well and all. Plus, I never could figure out that complicated number system thing that you use.”
“It’s the Dew-Eve decimal system, that same one they use in every other library in existence. It really helps with keeping track of everything.” Twilight replied, her already strained smile straining even more.
“Mm Hmm” Applejack nodded as she proceeded to look everywhere in the library but the card catalogues next to her. “So if you could just point to where the book is I’d greatly appreciate it.”
No longer able to keep up her facade Twilight’s smile collapsed as she reluctantly stuck a hoof out pointing towards the top of a shelf across the room from Applejack.
“Thank you so much Ms. Sparkle! I’ll be sure to leave a tip in the jar.” Giving a quick bow of her head Applejack head off towards her destination.
Grunting a bit as she begrudgingly appreciated the promise of further financial contributions Twilight Sparkle was about to return to her cataloguing when she heard a slow whistle come from the other mare.
“Wow, that sure is high up.” Craning her next up, the oldest daughter of the Ponyville Apple branch looked up at the little green book out of her reach.
“Ladder's next to the bookself,” Twilight absentmindedly muttered as she scanned the sheet she was working on to find where she had left off. A feeling of discomfort began to form in the back of her neck though before Twilight looked up to see the confused look upon Applejack’s face, the shocked look from the young filly, and Spike looking perplexedly at the whole scene.
“Oh right! Of course, ha ha ha!” came Twilight’s awkward laugh as she dashed from behind her desk to clamp down on the rungs of a step ladder leaning against the bookself. Pulling the open ladder with her teeth she brought it over to appreciative Applejack and held it in place as the other mare got on.
Climbing the ladder, Applejack stretched her neck to bite down on her target, and book in tow headed back to the smaller librarian. “Thank you very much Ms. Sparkle. You know, my Granny will be brewing up some remedies this weekend. Everypony is invited to bring over their own ingredients and bottles if they’d like something. Why don’t you come on down, we’d love to see you around town more often and I bet you’d know of all sorts of different potions and alchemy to show everypony else.”
Her ears folding back as she gave an awkward smile before scrambling back to the safety of her desk Twilight shielded away from the friendlier pony. “Um, that does actually sound nice, but I couldn’t impose on your Stable like that.”
“What?! The Apple family isn’t like some of those other Stables, Ms Sparkle. We’re a down to earth and practical breed. Don’t let something like that intimidate you. Just because we’re a Stable Clan doesn’t mean that we’re any different from any other pony here in town.”
“Stable Clan?” Spike asked, as he looked to where the two mares were standing.
Backing up a bit as she eyed the librarian’s helper, Applejack nervously smiled as she tried not to let the fire breathing creature of legend intimidate her. After all, if a small mare like Mr. Sparkle could spend all day with him then that had to mean that he was tame, right? “Oh! Uh, hello there uh…” Looking back to the librarian Applejack asked, “What’s your pet’s name?”
“Hey!”
The purple mare had to cover her mouth with her hoof to stifle her laughter. “Spike isn’t a pet-“
“Darn right I’m not,” Spike grumbled.
“He helps me out here in the library and has assisting me for a while now.”
Having the decency to look admonished, Applejack rubbed the back of her head. “Sorry about that Mr. Spike. I’ve never really seen a dragon before, much less talked to one. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know a thing about them and I’m sorry to you that I offended you. Could you forgive me?”
Holding the other pony’s gaze for moment, Spike relaxed his shoulders as he exhaled the breath he was holding. “Alright, since you apologized so well, I guess I could let it go. Just don’t do it again.”
Smiling a little easier herself the orange pony nodded. “You won’t have to ever worry about me. And I’d be happy to answer your question about Stables. Stable Clans are old families that according to legend did some great deed or service that was recognized waaaaaay back in the day. You can tell which families they are ‘cuz they’ve all got a clan name. Our’s is Apple, making me Applejack Apple, and that’s my little sis, Applebloom Apple.”
“So you’re a family of hero’s?”
Bursting out in laughter the young mare stomped the floor hard. Soon her amusement died down and she wiped a tear out of her eye. “Heh, sorry. Some families where I suppose, but that was a LONG time ago. Plus, from what I heard, our family used to be farmers that grew apples so delicious that it impressed some really fancy so and so.”
“Apples,” Spike deadpanned.
“Apples,” Applejack nodded.
“So you’re farmers?”
“Nope,” she answered as she shook her head. “Our family hasn’t been farmers for centuries. Ponies needed help and some ancestor left the farm to help establish a town or two and never looked back.”
“Wait, they founded towns? If a dragon did that then that’d make them the lord of that city. You guys are nobility?” Spike asked incredulously as he took in the simple and humble appearance of the pony in front of him.
Chuckling Applejack shook her head. “Nah, our family has never been one for fancy titles. We Apples were just happy to help out with whatever we could. Never asked for any reward either, though sometimes I sort of wished they had. Maybe then me an’ Big Mac outside wouldn’t have to take on so many jobs to make ends meet!” the blonde pony joked as she gave a good-humored laugh.
“Um, well I hope things turn around for you and your stable Ms. Apple,” Twilight said awkwardly as she reached for the book to check it out of the library. .
“Call me Applejack,” the other mare interrupted well naturedly as she then extended a hoof out to the librarian, rolling it a bit as she tried to coach the mare behind the desk to also share her first name.
“Right, well thank you for stopping by and using your public library. I’ll be busy that weekend, but I’ll be sure to drop by if I have the chance,” the purple Earth Pony lied through her teeth.
Looking confused for a bit, Applejack’s warm smile returned soon after as she took her book in her jaw and tossed it into her saddle bags with a flick of her head. “Well, we hope that we’ll see you there then Ms. Sparkle,” Applejack called out from over her shoulder as she and her sister left with a loud clatter of hooves on wood and an energetic slam of the door.
Resting her head on her work surface, Twilight closed her eyes as she recovered from her one social interaction for the day. “I just really don’t want to have to deal with a bunch of overly friendly strangers all day even if it would involve local alchemic formulas.”
“Huh? You’re into that stuff too? I thought you were more into gadgets and gizmos,” Spike inquired.
“Of course I would be,” Twilight responded as she straightened her posture, taking what Spike referred to as her ‘lecturing pose’. “This could be a good opportunity to observe the local potions market and any colloquial variants to how they practice alchemy here. Not only that but it would have been a good chance to see the personal practices in Earth Pony magic by an actual Stable clan.” Picking up another book, Twilight flipped it open with her muzzle to begin reading. “Oh well, it would have been nice I suppose.”
“And you’re not going because…?”
“Well, because of other ponies, duh.” Twilight replied, flipping another page.
Smacking his forehead with the palm of his claw, Spike pulled out a parchment and quill and began writing.
Hearing the distinct sound of a letter being drafted Twilight turned to her assistant and roommate. “What are you doing Spike?”
“Letting the Apples know you’re coming,” was the small dragon’s succinct reply.
Narrowing her eyes, the purple Earth Pony leaned over her book as she glared at the rebelling reptile. “Spike, I’m not going and you can’t make me.”
“Sure I can,” Spike replied before rolling up the parchment and taking a deep breath.
“Don’t you dare!” Jumping towards him, Twilight was too late as green flame engulfed the parchment and a wisp of green smoke silently flew out the window.
“Why Spike? Why?!” Knowing it was too late, Twilight watched the message disappear out of the window and soon a terrified shriek and a yell of ‘What in the world?!’ could be heard from outside. “You know I hate crowds and gatherings, why would you do this to me?”
Patting his companion on the shoulder Spike shook his head slowly, “Now now Twilight, just trust your old buddy Spike-“
“We’ve only known each other for a year.”
“-and let me take you to this weird thing you ponies apparently do. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t want to spend everyday indoors with you. You’ve got to start going out more and meeting the folks here, and I’d like to be able to get to know the ponies here without worrying about the town guard being called in to corral a ‘wandering’ dragon.”
“Ugh, but it’ll be noisy and crowded and everypony will be asking me questions about where I’m from and keep expecting me to help them out with things,” Twilight whined as she lightly stomped her hooves on the floor.
Raising an eyebrow at that last statement, Spike rubbed his chin in though. “You mean like with Applejack and the ladder?”
“Yes, exactly like that.”
“Yeah, what was that all about? Is that an Earth Pony thing?”
Rolling her eyes Twilight once again straightened herself as she patted her mane bun, this time leaning down to pull open a drawer with her teeth and pluck a pair of glasses with her lips. Placing them upon the table, a quick flick of the tongue to get the temples and tips were unfolded, she leveled her head to the edge of the desk and slowly pushed them onto her face with one hoof. Properly attired she looked over to Spike.
“Pretty much. Since we haven’t really gone out much you probably didn’t notice, but it’s sort of a thing most other Earth Ponies do. It’s all about community, family, and helping each other out.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah,” Twilight sighed. “I personally think it’s less about being altruistic and more to do with physiology and its impact on societal evolution.”
“Of course, it’s so obvious,” Spike snorted as he crossed his arms.
Ignoring her roommate’s snark Twilight continued. “I believe that it is due to Earth Pony hooves not being well suited to grasp objects though we are still able to do so to a limited degree.”
“Yeah, still trying to figure out that sticky hoof thing you guys sometimes got going on.”
“Our only real way to manipulate tools is with our mouth,” the mare remarked.
“And I’m constantly trying to forget that almost everything I touch around here has been in some ponies mouth at one time.”
“This is still inefficient though. Try to imagine going through life with only one claw Spike.”
Blinking at that, Spike lifted a claw to eye level and tried to think about how his life would be like with only the one.
“I bet that early communities that banded together to lend an extra jaw to their neighbors and help with various day to day tasks would have benefited from an increase in production as two ponies together are better than one. These communities would have eventually beat out others with more individualistic minded ponies.”
“So what? You’re some sort of evolutionary throw back?”
Sputtering in indignation Twilight glared at the dragon. “This is not a genetic trait, it’s a LEARNED behavior passed down from generation to generation. My genetic makeup is just fine, thank you very much. It just means that these Earth Pony communities tend to just expect aid to come trotting by and for everypony nearby to just drop what they’re doing to come by to help,” she groused as she crossed her forelegs together.
“Oh,” thinking about it, the wheels within the young dragon’s mind began to spin. “So because you grew up in-“
“Yes,” Twilight injected, cutting Spikes train of thought short.
“Ah,” realizing that that particular conversation was done with for the foreseeable future an uncomfortable silence fell upon the duo. “Soooo,” Spike started, trying to escape the now awkward atmosphere, “tell you what, I’ll run interference for you this weekend so you can concentrate on doing your nerd stuff.”
“You’d do that for me?” Looking appreciatively at the dragon, Twilight thought of the possibilities this weekend could afford. New magics, old knowledge being shared, notes upon notes that she could be taking. And all without needing to really interact with any pony else!
“Of course, I’ll still expect you to talk to the other ponies there,” Spike injected, apparently deciding to shatter Twilights good mood.
“But wh-h-h-h-y Spike?” Twilight groaned.
“I can’t believe I’m the one who has to tell you this but,” leveling a firm stare at the pony across from him he delivered his task for this weekend, “You need to make some friends.”
“And what about you?” was the immediate reply.
“I’ll have you know,” Spike said jerking a thumb to himself, “that I’m a delight to be around. Once I can talk to those ponies without them freaking out, I’ll have them eating out of my claws.”
A blown raspberry greeted his declaration.
“Real mature Twilight.”
Slumping down, it seemed that there would be no escaping the social awkwardness of the upcoming gathering. “Nothing good ever came out of making friends,” Twilight groused.
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REALLY good job on your spin concerning the upcoming Generation 5. The bits of world backstory make a lot of sense and I loved the peek into Earth pony culture. And, yeah, even the characterizations of this universe's versions of Applejack and Twilight make a lot of sense. The exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all well done in all the right places. I especially liked Applejack's family backstory as well as Spike, even in THIS universe, making an honest effort to keep Twilight grounded and help her make some friends other than himself. Plus, the little foreshadows to later in the story concerning Pegasus and Unicorn culture in the Author's notes were a welcome touch too.
Very certainly going to be looking forward to more of this, but will also be quite willing to be patient as I know real world matters have to come first.
Here we go, liking the look and feel of this so far. I don't know if it's my mindset or your writing, but I can actually visualize this in the flowy, painted art style of the G5 concept art with a bit of the My Little Pony The Movie mixed in.
As for the world building, it's an interesting and different history than we're used to, which I suppose is the intent. Keeping the two sisters, the prophecy, and the nature of the storm a secret seems like the right move. We the readers know what they are, but enough details are left out so we can learn what's different as the protagonists learn what they are.
Speaking of our heroes, I forgot about the change in species, so Twilight threw me for a loop at first. I'm glad she's as studious and reclusive as ever even without the horn. This version of Spike is certainly interesting, it feels like he has a strong knowledge of Dragons. I'm curious to find out why he's living with ponies, and especially with Twilight. The Apples all feel pretty much the same, just a change of location and cercumstance than actual character.
I see great things in this story's future, and I hope generation 5 is just as enjoyable.
9982969
Indeed, you said it all better than I EVER could. Thanks for sharing this review. As for Spike seeming more knowledgeable about dragon culture than his canon counterpart, I guess it would make sense if he were actually hatched by his own kind in this universe. As for why he's still hanging around Twilight, your guess is as good as mine, but off hand I would theorize that Spike probably got bullied a lot by the teen dragons of his own kind (being both smaller and smarter than the average dragon, a combination that would make him a natural bully target). He left his own kind to escape the bullying (he might be smaller than the average dragon, but he IS STILL a dragon, which makes him tougher than the average pony and possibly tough enough to survive the smaller scale magic storms), met Twilight by accident and the two found some sort of common ground that allowed them to bond a bit. But that IS just a theory and is more likely to be wrong than right.
9982991
raven618
Thank you very much to the both of you for leaving a comment and for your interest in this little experiment of mine.
As for Spike, oh boy.... I'm not planning on really getting into his and Twilight's circumstances until much later. We've still got a ways to go so I hope you don't mind. I can say that I'm trying to base him off of these leaked notes I found on a Reddit thread.
To those worrying if Spike is in MLP Gen 5 or written out, don't worry, he's in it(more on this Below)
-A Dragon World also exists(meaning no ponies existed in this, aside from Longmas)
-Dragons have culture and wear armor and clothes
-Dragons have a prince who was inspired by Jonah Hill.
-Dragon World, is populated with human sized dragons and longmas, and have a hierarchy.
-A Grootslang World, is also in this show, one is inspired by Danny Davito and is a con artist
-Another Grootslang looks to be a combo of Tyrion Lannister and Kylo Ren, and is possibly Spike's very own archenemy. As in the notes of it, he seems to relate to Spike(noted in the concept art, he uses his size to relate to Spike)
-Its possible that the showrunner and developer that Meghan McCarthy and Hasbro have chosen is non other than, Rob Renzetti(My Life As a Teenage Robot, Escape From Cluster Prime, Gravity Falls, Fosters Home For Imaginary Friends)
-Longmas are in the show(look like what would happen if a Dragon and Pony actually could reproduce)
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fmemestatic1.fjcdn.com%2Fcomments%2FHahahaha%2Bthey%2Bused%2Bstar%2Bpics%2Bto%2Brepresent%2Bpossible%2Bcharacters%2B_38586b79339c5763ac4c367c98aa6783.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Ffunnyjunk.com%2Fchannel%2Fponytime%2FMlp%2Bleaks%2FRDmuLEQ%2F&docid=cwOKzA9qCzH8lM&tbnid=RTOznE0qCnmw_M%3A&vet=1&w=1000&h=379&safe=active&bih=525&biw=1264&ved=2ahUKEwjn35K1wqzmAhU_IDQIHX2OBPcQxiAoA3oECAEQGg&iact=c&ictx=1#spf=1576030380303
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https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Ffejoh55c6vh21.png&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2FMLPG5%2Fcomments%2Faszqq4%2Fmy_little_pony_gen_5_villain_designs_pt_1%2F&docid=XYiCY5Cp_z-xfM&tbnid=sqpMFYu_jpb6lM%3A&vet=1&w=1443&h=461&safe=active&bih=525&biw=1264&ved=2ahUKEwjcx_zWwqzmAhVfKDQIHVbQCbEQxiAoAHoECAEQFA&iact=c&ictx=1#spf=1576030765912
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fderpicdn.net%2Fimg%2F2017%2F8%2F28%2F1521655%2Fmedium.jpeg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fderpibooru.org%2F1521655&docid=OWDiyrr-LqVO8M&tbnid=paLvqzseEodikM%3A&vet=1&w=800&h=600&safe=active&bih=525&biw=1264&ved=2ahUKEwjcx_zWwqzmAhVfKDQIHVbQCbEQxiAoCHoECAEQJA&iact=c&ictx=1#spf=1576030773022
I am trying to basically put together a bunch of disjointed images together into a story.
I think Spike's people were ruled/controled by the Longma, hence Spike originally held ponies in disdain as he saw them as arrogant and vain like the Longma villan. Having to flee due to some trouble with the Grootslang archenemy of his (still working on why) he ended up in Pleasant Valley, the home of the Unicorns and their capital, Unitopia. Changing it from Canterlot to Unitopia since I've decided Canterlot will be the long lost capital of the Alicorns. It is in the middle of the lost territories consumed by the storms right now so it's nothing more than legend to everypony else.
The unicorns in Pleasant Valley pretty much lived up to every stereotype Spike had about Ponies, being vain, stuck up, and spoiled but not too smart. He had run out of money and was at the end of his rope, about ready to start stealing to survive when we was found by Cadance who is still a Pegasus at this point. Being different from the other Unicorns in both personality and appreance (she's a pegasus), a desperate Spike decides to accept her help and she takes them to the ponies she is working for. The rest will be covered when I get to the Twilight/Spike chapter later on.
Anyway, thank you so much and hope that I don't disapoint either of you.
9983073
Thanks immensely for the info. I really appreciate that little "sneak peek". :-D
I love world-building stories! Especially ones that emphasize the bond between Spike and Twilight!
So far, so good; you have an interesting concept. Twilight is obviously from another place (perhaps the unicorn kingdom?) that has different values than most earth pony communities and has trouble fitting in. One does wonder how it is that she met Spike, much less befriended him to the point of allowing him to become her roommate, or how she even got the job of librarian.
You've done a decent job at establishing your characters and their motivations and personalities so far.
Your grammar is okay, but you could use a proof-reader/. The thing that really made me cringe was how you kept using Alicorn's at the start. It's alicorns, not Alicorn's. Plural form, not possessive. And arguably lower-case, not upper-case, though that's less clear. Gotta be honest, I almost skipped the whole story/chapter after just that bit, but I'm glad I didn't right now, because it has potential.
Sooo...those leaked images you linked to; which one features Spike? I don't see him specifically in those. Because, to be honest, I've been quite worried that they'll leave him out of Gen 5.
9984484
Thank you for the alicorn thing, I've made the correction though for now I'll keep it capitalized. I really would like a proof reader but don't know of any.
As for the images, none of them feature Spike. Just random villians and a short creature called a Grootslang that is supposed to be like Spike's archnemesis. It was mentioned that they are a similar height and that is how they bonded at first, but other than that I don't have any further information or details. I'm going on bare minimum information here.
There's also another pony called Cosmos that has a broken horn with a wand prostetic who I have no idea how to use. Nice design with the wand as well as a missing leg that was replaced and apparently some other parts that were replaced. Don't know yet if or how I can use that.
But again, if you do know of someone who would be willing to be a proof reader I would very much appreciate it.
I'm happy to proof-read for you, though with my work schedule, that may mean waiting a day or two before I can go through it. It you're willing to wait, however, I can proof-read.
9984659
That sounds great!
I'll send you the next chapter once I have it written up. I'll try to work on it this weekend.