Thorax was standing eagerly by the entrance of the Changeling Hive. After several weeks, his pony friends would finally visit them! It was the first time since their heroic victory over Grogar that they would see each other. Today was the day, and they could not have picked a better one: the sun was shining, the temperature was just right, and an occasional cool breeze that stirred his wings brought him a delightful freshness. He could hardly wait!
It was not just for that reason that he was about to burst with excitement. He was also eager to show them the changes to the Hive since the last time the ponies were there. That was more than a year ago and a lot had changed since then. Thanks to the creativity and effort of his brethren, the central part of the Hive had been rebuilt. They had tried to make it look as open and inviting as possible and the result was something they were all proud of. They had also spruced up the area around the Hive, bringing structure while retaining the lushness of the vegetation that had grown over the remnants of the old Hive. The Changelings felt more alive than ever and their home reflected it.
A band of ponies was approaching. It was unmistakably Twilight Sparkle and her Ponyville friends. Thorax hurried towards them, his sparkling, translucent wings guiding his prances.
"Hey Twilight! Welcome back to the Hive!" he said, his voice sounding even more nasal than usual.
"Hello Thorax! Good to see you again. How are you?"
"As great as can be," he snickered. "We have so much to catch up on, so come right in. Who's your friend, by the way?"
He pointed at the unfamiliar pony in their midst. She was a unicorn mare with a dull green coat, emerald eyes and a sleek cinnabar mane. On her flank he inspected a picture of a ladybug.
The guest gleefully raised her hoof. "Hi! My name is Shutter Bug. I'm here to take photos of the occasion, so don't mind me." She snapped a sudden picture as she spoke, the sharp flash blinding Thorax momentarily.
"Nice to meet you," Thorax responded, still somewhat dazed. "The Changelings have been putting in a lot of effort in improving the Hive, so this journey will be well worth your time."
Pinkie Pie stepped forth and took position between the two creatures. "Yea yea, we get it. Get on with it already."
"Ahem, excuse Pinkie," Twilight said sternly, "we're just too excited to be here again, aren't we, girls?"
"Yup! Sure are," Applejack flapped out.
Rainbow Dash was gazing at the clouds. "If it means we can leave sooner."
"I will be quite delighted to see the Changeling's stash of valuables. You do have one of those, don't you?" Rarity inquired coquettishly.
"Don't count on it," Fluttershy snarled at the unicorn, "I wonder if these worthless, pathetic gnats have accomplished anyth—" Before she could finish she was muzzled by a magenta aura.
"Sorry, what was that?" Thorax asked.
"Nothing! Fluttershy was saying how much she wanted to see the… uh… brooding chambers?" Twilight said over the suppressed murmuring.
Thorax stared for a second, then smiled. "Sure, I can show you if you want."
"Great! Come along then, no time to lose."
Twilight starting trotting towards the Hive, the others following. "That was too close, can't they behave for just a minute?" Shutter Bug whispered.
On their path through the village they passed by a few Changelings, whose greetings were largely ignored; only Twilight waved back. The group went around the main building, along a path obscured by foliage and mossy rock. Here they stopped. There was nopony else to be found.
"Are you looking for something in particular?" Thorax asked. "I can give the tour if you like."
"That's not necessary at all," Shutter Bug chirped. She tapped the camera that was hanging around her neck. "I'm trying to find the perfect angle from which I can capture this beautiful Hive, and I think I've found it. Say, how about you go stand right over there and pretend to look the other way."
Thorax went over to the designated spot: a flower bed right beside an old remnant of a wall. It was one of the few sites where sunlight could reach the ground.
"Here?"
"Yes, excellent. Now turn around."
"Okay, tell me when you're ready to—aagh!" Thorax fell against the wall, his head writhing from the acute migraine. "My head! What is happening?"
Shutter Bug hurried to his aid. "Oh dear, are you alright? It must be fever. Let me feel your temperature."
"Stay away from him!" From above, a blur of colour leapt down in front of the Changeling king. He charged at the unicorn, knocking her to the ground, among the other ponies. She identified the blur as some sort of chameleon.
"Pharynx, what are you doing? She was trying to help me."
The chameleon changed back into the teal Changeling prince, and compassionately put his leg over the shoulder of his fatigued brother.
"You are mistaken, because the one who did this to you is she herself. I was suspicious the moment I saw her. So, I followed you, keeping myself hidden under the guise of a chameleon. When I saw her cast the mind control spell, my suspicions were confirmed."
The unicorn’s charade started undoing itself. From the hooves and slowly working to the tip of her horn, a poison green light reverted Shutter Bug to the true form of the dethroned Changeling Queen.
"Chrysalis?" Thorax exclaimed. "That's impossible! What's she doing together with Twilight Sparkle and the other ponies?"
Pharynx calmly shaked his head. "Look again. Those aren't the Element of Harmony."
His brother was right. Now that he knew, the subtle differences in their coat colour and mannerisms seemed obvious and he could identify the impostors as easily as one could tell apart a mannequin from a living pony. How did he not notice this?
"I thought all the Changelings had converted! Have there been defectors that we didn't know of?"
"Oh no, you are quite right. After I was banished there wasn't a single one of my subjects who came to my help," Chrysalis lamented. "These six are clones that I myself created to help me achieve my goal. However," her serpentine tongue licked her muzzle, "I'll take you two on myself. Stand back."
The six clones obeyed and collectively retreated behind one of the rocks that was half-buried in the earth.
A chill ran through Thorax’s exoskeleton and he started trembling all over. "I'm not sure if we can beat her," he whispered anxiously, looking for a possible escape route from the corner they were driven in.
Pharynx patted his brother on the back and assured him without a trace of doubt in his voice, "If you and I work together, it'll be a breeze. Come on, this is what we have trained for."
"You have anticipated my return?" Chrysalis taunted. "How charming. It won't make a difference."
"We knew you would try to take back the Hive sooner or later," Thorax professed with newfound courage. "That's what tyrants do: they only care about power at the cost of everypony else. Since you were defeated, we have been much better off. We now live in harmony with the other creatures and not one of us has felt hungry ever again."
Struck with indignation, Chrysalis sneered back, "You are an ungrateful brat. Everything I've ever done was in the interest of the Hive as a whole. I have sustained you. Without my leadership you would all have gone extinct ages ago!"
"But you have gone about it the wrong way," Pharynx intervened. "To satiate us you have preyed on the love of other creatures, whereas our real purpose was to share it. That's why we are happier now."
"It has also turned you softer from the looks of it."
"Want to find out right now?"
"By all means."
With that, Chrysalis sprinted towards the duo. Mid-gallop, she transformed into a panther and with her long fangs exposed lunged at the Changeling prince. In the blink of an eye he transformed likewise, choosing for his part the form of a sturdy rhinoceros. Chrysalis’s claws and fangs produced merely a harmless flurry of shallow dents and scratches on the creature’s tough skin and with a single powerful head-swing she was tossed into the air.
The Changeling Queen managed to land elegantly on her paws. She bellowed a thrilling roar, and another green flash changed her shape to that of a humongous mole. She pulled a boulder from the earth with her formidable claws and took aim. Pharynx stood ready to parry the incoming projectile when he realized that the she wasn't aiming for him at all.
"Thorax, watch out!"
Thorax, who had been beholding the showdown in awe, was immediately aware of the threat. He made a frantic jump sideways, fleeing into the skies. The rock barely scraped his tail-wing and crashed into the wall of the Hive like a wrecking-ball, creating a gaping hole behind a thick cloud of dust.
Chrysalis covered her eyes with her claws to protect them from the flying debris. When she lowered them again, the two brothers were gone. She crawled around, scanning the area, searching for any sign of their whereabouts, but they had vanished apparently without a trace. Frustrated, she undid the transformation and turned to her clones, who had on Twilight's insistence taken refuge behind a nearby tree.
"Where have they gone?" she demanded.
Twilight was preoccupied analyzing the situation and refrained from answering; the others responded with disinterested shrugs and one or two "dunno"s. Chrysalis put her hoof to her face and groaned: a useless but expected response.
She lit up her horn and stepped into the silent open area. They had to be somewhere.
"Show yourselves!"
Her imperative was met with an immediate reaction. Before she realized it, her hooves were constricted by the long, camouflaged body of a snake. She reflexively tried to shake it off, but it was to no avail. She then responded by lowering her head to punish the aggressor with a powerful, short-range magical blast, but her whole body was frozen in midmotion when she heard a piercing shriek sounding from her blind spot.
In her rage, Chrysalis had been completely caught off-guard. She could only make out what was coming for her: a giant bird—a roc—with a beak glistering like bronze and the lethal eyes of an apex predator. A moment later she was clutched in one of its powerful talons, unable to move an inch.
"Great job, Thorax!" she heard Pharynx say.
"Thanks, but it's really because of you. Your distraction gave me time to swoop in."
Thorax opened one of his talons, giving Chrysalis space to look outside. Before her stood Pharynx.
"Now that we've proven we aren't weak, are you ready to talk?" he asked.
"Never!" the Changeling Queen hissed, squirming and wrestling for breathing room. "Twilight, break me free from this beast!"
The döppelganger appeared from her hiding spot with a malicious smile painted on her features. "Do you want me to use Grogar's spell?"
"My patience with these two has run out. Fire at will."
"My pleasure."
An ominous droning noise reminiscent of the chiming of an ancient bell gradually filled the atmosphere. As soon as the power had built up, she cast the spell. A violent beam of magical light erupted from her horn with streaks of yellow and black like the asposematic colours of a furious wasp. The ray cut through Thorax and hit Pharynx in the side, prompting them to return to his Changeling form and fall on the ground.
"Aargh! What's going on?!"
He stared in horror at his trembling hoof: usually lime green, it was turning soot gray before his eyes. Holes were forming in his skin as the rot spread over his limb.
Pharynx was lying next to him. "Brother, are you feeling well?" he asked.
"I feel… I feel… hungry!" he cried. "I haven't felt so starved in years!"
Chrysalis stamped on the ground in elation. "Mmmhahaha! Who knew that old goat would end up being so useful? With his magic I can correct the disgrace that Starlight Glimmer has brought upon my children. I shall lead the Hive in the way that it once was! Clones!"
The Twilight clone presented herself to Chrysalis, followed by the other five. "Yes, my Queen, what is it?"
"The next phase of our plan is commencing. Spread through the Hive and get as many Changelings on our side as you can."
"Is there anything you wish me to do with them?" She pointed at the two brothers.
"There is no need for that. They won't fool me a second time."
As the clones galloped off, Chrysalis trod loftily in a circle around the two brothers, tossing her hair and humming a tune as she went. She stopped before them with her front legs crossed and her chin in the air. She pouted her lips as she cast a glance down; Pharynx growled in response but refrained from saying anything. A few seconds passed without anypony making a move, when suddenly Thorax started getting up, all the while fighting the infection that had now consumed half his body.
"Thorax, you shouldn't—" Pharynx protested, suffering from the same injury, but Thorax defiantly shook his head.
He straightened himself as much as he could and looked the Queen straight in her eyes. "Chrysalis, why are you doing this? You don't need to conquer us if you want to be reunited with us. We will accept you back, I promise."
He extended his hoof as a gesture of appeasement.
"This again," Chrysalis moaned. "How many of your little attempts at 'redemption' do I need to reject before finally give up? I am not interested, and at this point it wouldn't even make sense for me to consider the offer. Though it may not seem like it, I have practically already won! With Grogar's magic, every Changeling shall be changed back to their old form, whether they want it or not. Soon enough they will see that I was right all along, and so will you. You don't need friendship. Give it up."
"I'm sorry, Chrysalis," Thorax spoke with calm determination, "but you will not convince me. You may have forgotten, but the Changeling you're talking to is the one who first tasted friendship. I still know how it felt when Spike reached out to me and treated me not as an enemy, but as another creature, deserving of love. It fulfilled me with a joy that I will never forget. It felt so pure, so natural… friendship is in our blood. This is the way that Changelings are truly meant to be. And now you are taking it away, turning us back into monsters using the magic of another monster. It just isn't right."
Just as he finished speaking, Thorax turned his head away. He collapsed back onto the ground, next to his brother, who put a compassionate hoof around his neck. This appeared to soothe the pain, as his increased breathing immediately relaxed. Chrysalis responded to his speech and the subsequent display with a contemplative, disapproving "humph".
An upwelling noise suddenly came to her attention. It was a pounding of hoof steps, louder than that of any pony or Changeling. Searching where it was coming from, she saw a bright light shining through the trees of an alleyway. Six coloured sparkles emerged; they were followed by Tirek and Cozy Glow. Upon seeing Chrysalis, the two came to a rest, panting and sighing.
"Chrysalis! We finally found you!" Cozy exclaimed with equal parts joy and concern.
"You two?" she snapped. "To what do I owe this unannounced visit? I am busy." Noticing the sparkles fly into his saddlebags, she added. "What is that?"
"You mean the Elements of Harmony?” Cozy said. “We got them from Scorpan at Midnight Castle… it's a long story."
"First you run off with the ponies and now you return with the Elements. What has become of you, Lord Tirek?"
Tirek responded, "The fact that we are here has nothing to do with Twilight and those other ponies. Speaking of, I think I saw them running around in the chaos. What in Equestria is going on here?"
"They are clones," Thorax clarified from behind her, understanding—hoping—that they might be allies. "Chrysalis found a spell with which she can turn Changelings back to their old form. She is using those clones to take back the hive."
"Silence!" Chrysalis threatened him with a glowing horn.
Cozy fluttered to Tirek's ear and whispered, "This is really bad. If we do nothing, she'll end up destroying the Hive, and there's no telling what she'd do next."
"You're right," he whispered back. "Go and see if you can rally the Changelings that are left; we will need their help. As for Chrysalis, leave her to me."
Cozy nodded and flew off, leaving Tirek with Chrysalis and the two Changeling princes.
Chrysalis made a threatening step, her horn still aglow and ready to take down the fleeing filly, but Tirek intercepted her by clearing his throat and cracking his knuckles.
"If you're here to stop me, know that I won't let you," the Changeling Queen said with a dramatic flair of disregard.
"When we were in Grogar's lair," Tirek began, "we plotted for the takeover of Equestria together. We were seeking power, but we also wanted to compensate our feelings: resentment, betrayal, a sense of loss. I understand what you are coming from, but thanks to my brother I have also recognized that revenge will not return to you what you've lost. Even worse: it will destroy the very thing in the process. You are about to make a terrible mistake."
"It's sad to learn that those Elements have gotten into your mind," Chrysalis snarked. "I just explained to these two that victory is already within my hoof. There is nothing standing in my way—unless you really are foolish enough to challenge me and my recovered legions."
"Indeed we are here to stop you, for your own good. You can choose to end this now, or else I will have to use force."
Chrysalis’s horn shone bright emerald. "Then I will have no choice!" Her last word was emphasized by the release of a searing magical beam.
Cozy was making her way through the alleys of the Changeling Hive. She had to take care not to be found by the clones or any corrupted Changelings. They had her at a disadvantage in strength and agility, as well as numbers, and any attempt to manipulate them would surely be hopeless. Her only option to find good Changelings was to use stealth, but this proved harder than expected: none were roaming the streets anymore and judging from the large black swarms, many must have already fallen to Grogar's magic. Was she too late?
She peeked through a bundle of vines. A ravenous gang of Changelings passed by without noticing her, but aside from them the coast was clear. She did a double-check and then quickly tip-toed across the dirt road. Crawling through the bushes, she found a way into a building of sorts. Despite the dark interior, Cozy judged from the sleeping-cells in the wall that it was likely another Changeling housing complex. Like every other place, it appeared abandoned.
"Who goes there?!" A voice sounded from behind her.
Cozy froze in place as mortal fear gripped her heart. "I am Cozy Glow," she muttered.
"Tell us, are you here with those other ponies?"
Cozy turned her head. A group of Changelings was hiding in a small corner. Their eyes peered through the darkness, but the dim light of their fluorescent wings betrayed them as individuals of the benevolent kind. Some of them appeared hostile, while the less courageous huddled themselves behind their apparent leader: a specimen with indigo chitin and orange wings.
"N-no, I'm here to help you defeat them. Those ponies are clones created by Chrysalis; she has returned to take over the Hive."
"That's not an unlikely story," the Changeling admitted skeptically. "She had escaped after the battle with Grogar, didn’t she? And what reason would the ponies have to attack us?"
"Exactly!" Cozy chirped.
"But how can we trust you? What proof do you have you are not just another clone who's going to rat us out?"
She gulped. That Changeling was right: it would make sense for Chrysalis to use disguised Changelings to drive the enemy out of their hiding places. The fact that she's the only other pony besides the bearers of the Elements was suspicious, at the very least. She thought hard to come up with an alibi. They didn't appear to recognize her by name. She could explain that she used to be Chrysalis's accomplice but what good would that do? It would only make her even more suspect. Nor could she leave the premise and return with some sort of proof: this would surely be taken as an attempt to betray them. There simply wasn't the time for something like that, anyhow.
She stamped on the ground and raised her voice. "You're just going to have to trust me! Do you want a chance to survive or not?"
"We aren't stupid," the Changeling barked back. "I will not lead my family right into a trap. Besides, you kind of look like the trickster kind, anyway."
He spread his wings and assumed a threatening position. Cozy slowly backed off. Her mind was overwhelmed with fear, she couldn't even think straight anymore. If Chrysalis would win, it would be all because of her.
"But what if she's speaking the truth?" It was another Changeling, one with white chitin and blue wings, who challenged the leader. "If this filly is speaking the truth, we might be able to stop this. Tell us, Cozy Glow, how is King Thorax doing?"
A glimmer of hope sparked in Cozy's eyes. "He is fighting Chrysalis alongside Pharynx and my friend Tirek as we speak. They need our help."
"This is insane," the purple Changeling protested. "If she has no proof that she's on our side then I will not trust her."
The white Changeling thought for a second. "What if we test her with our Changeling senses? If we can sense love in her heart, then she must have come to us with good intentions. If we don't, then we can safely assume she is with those pony thugs."
"You know, that's not even such a bad idea," the other divined. "Little filly, stay where you are and give me your hoof. It will only take a second."
Another surge of panic ran through Cozy's whole body. Of course she was speaking the truth!—or was she really? With all the bad things she had done in the past, would they really trust her? True, she had bested her evil reflection and Scorpan deemed her worthy of bearing the Elements of Harmony, but still… what if she would just become evil again if she was given the chance? What if she would be tempted by Chrysalis to switch sides, or worse: to take her out and in a moment of weakness grab all the power for herself? Could she resist? Had she changed at all? She would rather not find out. She could flee and rejoin Tirek to try to beat Chrysalis alone. After all, they still had the Elements: the most powerful magical artifacts to fight evil with! But if she did that, if she would rather run from herself than to embrace the truth, wouldn't she just be proving that her redemption had failed?
She tried to budge her limbs, but it was as if they were nailed to the ground. With a spastic tug she stretched out her hoof. As she made contact with the Changeling's hoof she looked away. She couldn't bear to see his reaction.
A second passed. Two seconds passed. He breathed in, and he breathed out. Finally, he released her.
"She is not easy to judge," the Changeling concluded, speaking slowly to cautiously pick his words. "Her heart seems troubled by a dark past, but there is an unmistakable warm and bright glow coming from it. This is not a kind of love that you would find in the heart of a malicious monster. We can trust her."
Cozy's eyes welled up with tears. "Thank you, thank you!" Her joyful outburst sparked some surprise among the Changelings, who looked at each other quizzically. Cozy blushed, "Ehm, I mean: great! Let's get to work. Do you know where any other Changelings might be hiding? We need as many as we can find if we want to stand a chance against Chrysalis's forces."
"I think I might know a few places where we can look," the Changeling replied, stroking his chin. "I have faith that this is going to work, how about you guys?"
The others softly cheered and stamped in unison.
Another proud smile appeared on Cozy's face. "Then what are we waiting for? Show the way!"
The clash between Tirek and Chrysalis had proceeded slowly. Titanic blows were dealt in turn, and the landscape bore proof of their strength: magical blasts had dotted the ground with craters and patches of smoldering ash. Some places were so thoroughly destroyed that the Hive was beginning to resemble a desolate wasteland. It seemed that Chrysalis wasn't intent on holding back even a little bit. Then again, Tirek thought, perhaps she was doing this on purpose.
Despite the lethal force, neither had been successful in landing a direct hit, but that was about to change. Feigning another fireball attack, Tirek instead slammed his fists on the ground, creating a shockwave that threw Chrysalis off balance. He sprinted towards his opponent to capitalize on the opportunity. She tried to fly away, but it was too late: as she climbed into the sky, she felt herself being dragged back down by her hoof. Tirek slammed the Changeling Queen into the ground with a loud thump and pressed his hoof against her back.
"Congratulations, you beat me!" she complained. "What are you going to do now? Send me to school to learn about friendship with the ponies? Please, I would much rather be disintegrated on the spot, like Sombra."
She ceased struggling, upon which Tirek extinguished the fireball between his horns. "I will not let that happen to you, Chrysalis. Not by myself, nor by anypony else."
"I do not appreciate your pity in the slightest, Lord Tirek."
"You are wrong if you think Cozy Glow and I have returned because we had pity on you," he said. "Though you are misguided, we know you are a capable leader."
"Then let me go! The Hive is none of your business. The Changelings are my children and I cannot suffer to see them like this any longer."
"If you really see them as your children, then it is your duty to at least hear them out." Tirek beckoned to the two brothers. They nodded at each other and got up. As they made their way to the two villains with lethargic but determined steps, a disturbing buzzing noise started overtaking the silence. Looking up, they saw a vast swarm of hungry Changelings darkening the sky, led by the Mean Twilight.
A wicked smile crept upon Chrysalis’s muzzle. "Well, well, well. It appears that I will not have to listen to your pleading anymore. I may not have been able to defeat you on my own, but I came prepared and in the end I win. Twilight Sparkle!"
"Yes, Queen Chrysalis?" Twilight replied snarkily. She lit her horn in anticipation.
"Free me from this centaur at once."
"As you wish." Twilight signed at the other five ponies, and together they galloped towards the centaur.
Tirek braced himself, expecting another ray of Grogar's magic; but as the clones rapidly approached, a direct assault didn't occur. Instead, he felt a harmless magical sensation envelop his waist. His saddlebags slid open.
"The Elements!"
"We'll take these, thank you very much."
Six sparkling gems drifted into the sky, guided by a lavender aura. Each pony made a leap for her respective Element. A series of bright flashes blinded every onlooker. The next moment they saw the six clones, suspended in mid-air high above the Hive. Twilight's eyes were black as tar.
Chrysalis crawled up from Tirek's loosened grip and hissed at . "What do you think you're doing?! I command you to come down and you shall obey me!" She cast a spell at Mean Twilight, intending to subjugate her by controlling her mind. The bolt reflected unexpectedly off a magical force-field before it could do any harm to its target.
"Haha! Do you really think I would come unprepared for that trick?" The alicorn's voice echoed from above. "You should have been more careful around the world's most powerful magician."
"Impossible!" Chrysalis cried. “After all that I have done for you, you have the audacity to betray me again?!”
"I am afraid it is so. You do not seem to understand, Chrysalis. I was never loyal to you. Not when you first created me, nor when you revived me—a bafflingly pathetic and foolish move at any rate. You should have learned the first time around.”
“Stop saying such falsehoods!”
“But it is all too true; and I insist that you learn the severity of your error. The opportunities you gave me as I patiently played the role of your lackey were almost too tempting. We could have betrayed you at any other moment but I knew that we had to bide our time and wait for the right moment. Though I must admit that our harnessing the Elements is pure contingent; a matter of skill meeting opportunity, if you will."
Several yellow–black strings of plasma split from her horn, connecting with all the Elements. They shook frantically as their luster was being drained out, and a rainbow of negative colours filled the void around them.
She stammered and then turned to the swarm with a broken voice. "My children, listen to me! Take this fiend out!"
"Try all you want, but they only listen to us. How does it feel to be beaten by your own tactics? Now, Changelings, satisfy your hunger and feast on my enemies!"
The buzzing got louder as every single Changeling made a dive for the creatures on the ground. Tirek spread out his arms before the other three to protect them and mustered his strength to charge up another fireball. At half-size, it collapsed back into itself—he hadn't the power. Moments later they were completely surrounded by a black mass. Hundreds of eyes looked at them lustfully, but they didn't yet attack, as if they were hesitating, waiting on some final signal.
A juvenile voice rang out from the outside.
"Changelings, it is time to take back the Hive!"
At once, the organized swarm deformed into a flurry of chaos. They saw several colourful Changelings mixing themselves with the others, pushing and pulling from all sides. More and more appeared on the scene in an all-out brawl.
As everyone was still trying to comprehend what was going on, Cozy Glow appeared and landed on the ground beside them.
"Seems like we weren't a second late," she said.
"Cozy Glow, is all of this your doing?" Thorax exclaimed.
She giggled, "Sure is! I found some Changelings in hiding and together we organized a counterattack."
"Very impressive," Pharynx admitted, "and not a minute too late. You're a hero, Cozy Glow."
"Aww, golly, I'm not sure about that. Besides, we haven't won yet. Some Changelings are pestering the clones right now, but it's all just to buy time. We have to come up with a plan to take them out and quickly."
Tirek stroked his beard. "Their power is derived from the Elements of Harmony… If we could somehow sever their connection, they would be crucially weakened."
"I think there may be a way to do that, but it will require all of us to work together in harmony. Are you in?" Cozy Glow extended her hoof to the group.
Tirek, Thorax and Pharynx nodded and put their hand and hooves on hers. They all looked at Chrysalis.
"Why are you all staring at me?" she mumbled, settling somberly down on the grass. "Haven't you seen that they are completely out of my control? Go on, save the day. Leave me alone."
"Aren't you going to help too, Chrysalis?" Cozy asked.
She sighed. "I want to be left out of it. Things have only become worse thanks to me, and even if good will come of my actions, I will probably be abandoned again. I am a queen unwanted by her subjects and a mother unwanted by her children."
"But what about us?" Thorax said, nudging his brother. "We are your children. We need you, and the other Changelings need you too. The Hive needs you!"
"I strongly doubt they want anything to do with me anymore."
"I am convinced they do. They understand forgiveness. You only need to set things right, and this is your chance to do exactly that."
"Very well, I'll do it." A chuckle of relief slipped from her lips. As everyone watched, she raised her hoof; and then lowered it again. "But what if I end up becoming… just like you?"
Thorax wanted to respond, but he was cut off by his brother. "Believe it or not, Chrysalis,” Pharynx spoke, “but I used to be just like you. I was the last Changeling to undergo metamorphosis. I believed that if I changed, I would become weak and pathetic. But it turned out I was wrong: true power comes from your will, not from your appearance. It seems that metamorphosis is a natural part of a Changeling's life."
"Are you certain that it hasn't infected your mind?"
"The only thing that has changed is that we are no longer subjected to relentless hunger. The rest is what we choose to make of it ourselves. Though we've become a better species in many respects, sometimes we do miss the guidance of our old Queen.”
Chrysalis raised her hoof and guided it towards the others. "For everything I've done, even if it was completely wrong, I hope you believe me when I say that I did it with the best intentions of the Hive."
"We understand," Thorax said. "Welcome back, Chrysalis." A glimpse of a smile crossed her features.
"Now then," Cozy cheered, "let's defeat those phoney ponies and take back the Hive together!"
"Together!" The others yelled in unison.
"Finally! Good riddance!" Mean Twilight had been preoccupied by a couple of insurgent Changelings for some time. They managed to avoid her magical beams and in doing so even raised her ire, but at last she was able to land a well-timed stroke, taking both of them out at the same time and sending them tumbling down. With them out of the way, she could concentrate on the big finisher: the rainbow blast that the Elements are infamous for, augmented by her own arcane magic. An all-consuming force through which the world would be bent to her will.
"Twilight Sparkle, give us back our Hive!" It was Chrysalis. She came flying, flanked by Thorax and Pharynx.
"Haven't they been beaten yet? You five deal with them," she addressed the other ponies, "I need to focus."
Chrysalis saw the two pegasi coming after her. She prepared herself for the assault, hoping to capture them at once; but even before she could transform, she was grazed by a rainbow streak.
“Come on, you’re so slow you’re boring me out of my mind. At least try to catch up, will ya?” the dull-blue pony taunted from afar.
She turned around growled back, “You’re going to regret those words—hey!” She was interrupted by Mean Fluttershy, who caught Chrysalis off-guard and bit her in her leg. Irritated, she immediately assumed her bird form once more and struck out at the malevolent clone. She proved to be considerably more agile than any ordinary pegasus, as she nimbly danced around the swiping claws.
She cackled, “Is that all you can do? My, you are even less of a fighter than I thought!”
Another rainbow streak flashed by her; again she slipped through her talons and scraped her wing.
Panting, Chrysalis yelled at the two Changeling princes, who were surrounded by Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Applejack, “These clones are too fast, I cannot keep up with them!”
“We’ve got our hooves full as well,” Pharynx replied as he dived out of the way of Pinkie’s balloons-suspended party cannon, “you have to think of something. Figure out their weakness.”
She thought for a second. “Hey you, the yellow one,” she said, “what was that you said about me?”
“I said that you are a useless fighter, an embarrassment, a wimp!”
“Am I supposed to feel insulted now? Please, tell me something that will make me feel at least a little bit angry.”
“What?!” the Fluttershy clone said, glaring spitefully. “Well, you’re also a worthless ruler who can’t do anything for her subjects, who hate her and…”
Her rant was interrupted by Chrysalis’s extended yawn. “How very original,” she added casually, “as if I haven’t heard that one before. You were supposed to be the element of rudeness?”
“That’s it!” She fluttered right in front of Chrysalis and tapped her repeatedly on the chest. “I don’t care how much you think of yourself—you are vermin! Once Twilight is done with her spell, you will regret—”
With one dexterous gesture, the meddlesome pegasus was plucked out of the sky.
Chrysalis sighed. “Silence at last,” she thought. “Now on to the other one: the element of disloyalty.” She looked over the skies and found Rainbow Dash resting on a faraway cloud. The pony’s head perked up when she saw the giant bird approaching.
“I didn’t care about your beef with Fluttershy so I decided to take a nap. Can we continue fighting now?” She got up, spread her wings, and assumed a takeoff pose.
“For what purpose should we be fighting?” Chrysalis asked, “So that Twilight Sparkle can take over the world? I hope you realize she only cares about you for your Element.”
“She is using me?” Rainbow Dash said with a puzzled face.
She nodded. “Twilight needs you for her plan, but as soon as her spell is finished, you will be dumped by the wayside. Is that fine with you?”
“No way!”
“Then come with me. Do not let her take your Element.”
Meanwhile, Thorax and Pharynx found themselves back to back, surrounded by the three remaining clones.
“They’re a tough crowd,” Pharynx said, panting. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep up.”
“If we want to defeat them we’ll have to try something else.” Thorax scraped his throat. “Hey Applejack,”—the orange döppelganger’s head perked up and she looked around nervously—“give Rarity back her Element.”
The outraged unicorn drifted over towards Applejack, with the corrupted Element of Generosity still floating behind her. “What?! You’ve taken my Element?”
“Sure did! ‘tsall mine,” she lied.
Rarity’s horn lit bright cyan. “No, it’s mine, and mine alone! Have at you, you thieving pest!” She fired a magical charge at her ally, knocking her out on the spot. Pharynx made a dive for her and held her in his hooves.
As Rarity was frantically looking around, Thorax confronted Pinkie Pie. She loaded her cannon and aimed it at him; Thorax fluttered to the side. Pinkie readjusted her cannon and Thorax moved again. He kept going, making circles around the pony, until she suddenly threw her hooves in the air and plopped down on her back, as if the air had solidified.
“Forget it, this fight is lame,” she mumbled.
Thorax grinned: his plan had worked! Just as he snatched the Element of Laughter, Chrysalis swooped in and captured Rarity in her free claw.
“That’s the last of them,” Thorax said, wiping his forehead. “The rest is up to Tirek and Cozy.”
Twilight reopened her dark eyes: she was ready. Each of the Elements glowed in their respective inverse colours, visible from far away.
Down on the ground stood Tirek with Cozy Glow in his palm.
Noticing that all the ponies except Twilight had been taken out, she commanded, "Now, Tirek, this is our chance!"
"Forgive me for asking a third time, but are you sure this is a good idea?" Tirek took a few steps back in preparation.
"We are the only two who have affinity with the Elements as far as we know, and you can't fly, so…"
She shrugged nonchalantly, but she knew she didn’t look as collected as she tried to be; there was too much at stake. If she failed, the foe would surely retaliate against her, and Tirek, Chrysalis, Thorax, Pharynx and everypony else would follow suit. This was her only chance, and the pressure was choking her.
Tirek gently clenched his fist around the filly. "Don't ever say this was my idea. Best of luck." He wound up, took a step forward and pitched the pegasus skywards with all his might.
An immediate dizziness took away all her sense of orientation, but nevertheless she managed to recover from the spin-out. The wind stung her eyes as she barreled straight towards her target: the Element of Magic that was floating ominously above the alicorn.
Twilight turned her head robotically; she had noticed the incoming projectile. "Cozy Glow, this will be your end!"
The dark rainbow materialized behind her, first reaching up and then crashing down towards the filly like a tidal wave. Cozy reflexively steered away and avoided the burst by just a few inches; its corrupting power was tingling on her skin.
Before she realized it, she had shot past Twilight. The Element of Magic was securely clamped between her hooves. As if reacting to her touch, it regained its lavender colour. The other Elements rose from their wielders and assumed their original colours as well.
The rainbow blast disintegrated into a harmless gust of wind right as it was about to hit Tirek. Awestruck, he looked at the sky and saw Cozy Glow surrounded by the six Elements. There was a blinking light, which turned into a shockwave, though it looked more like a luminescent bubble that was spherically expanding into the void. Everypony caught in it became weightless and unable to move; Chrysalis reverted to her Changeling form; Thorax and Pharynx had the blight vanquished from their skins; and the other Changelings were turned back as well, as soon as the light touched them.
A magical force guided the six clones towards Cozy Glow. The Elements aligned themselves with their respective bearers.
"No! Get it away from me, I cannot fathom its power!" Twilight protested without budging.
As each clone touched her Element, her cutie mark turned into the true cutie mark of the true bearer, and the faded colours of their coat and mane brightened until they had become perfect imitations of the ponies in whose image they were formed. They didn't look mean anymore: their expressions were blank and tranquil. They breathed in one last time and slowly disintegrated into a fountain of light.
Once they had completely faded, the Elements seemed to stop acting as well. Everypony was slowly settled back onto the ground.
"Cozy, you did it!" Tirek trotting up to the filly, who was rubbing her head.
"Sure did! But it wasn't just me—it was thanks to the effort of everypony!" She fluttered into the air and give Tirek a hoof bump.
"We saved the Hive!" Thorax cheered. The other Changelings cheered along.
One Changeling shouted, "Give it up for Thorax, Pharynx, Chrysalis, Cozy Glow and Tirek!" The others cheered even more enthusiastically the second time. Chrysalis blushed.
Cozy walked up to her. "Uhm, Chrysalis? I'm sorry I couldn't save your clones. The Elements just kind of did their thing without my influence. If I could have saved them, I would have done so."
"You do not have to feel sorrowful," Chrysalis consoled her, "I created them from my darkest emotions using forbidden magic. Their existence was an unnatural one, owing to my jealousy and loneliness. But now that I am back with my children, and with you two, I am finally not alone anymore. Thank you for making me see what is right; I wish I had seen it sooner."
"Good to have you back, Chrysalis," Tirek said, "Do you think we are ready now?"
"What do you mean?" Chrysalis replied sheepishly.
"To give the magic of friendship a chance?"
"Yes, I think I am ready."
Will you be making a prequel going into detail about that?
10354969
I don't have any plans for continuing this story arc when I'm done with this, I'm afraid. I started off disappointed with the finale of the show and imagined a few details of what should happen if the villains were to have a happy ending. Then I came up with a redemption arc for Tirek and Cozy Glow that eventually became this story. I found out that I much more liked writing inquisitive dialogue than action scenes, and the finale would be mostly that. I have some lore-related headcanon that I would like to use as plot points, but there wouldn't be much that adds to TFOEG—it can stand on its own, I think. Maybe if I get a surge of inspiration I would rewrite TEOTE (no Discord twist, no abdicating Princesses, no cruel statues), but after I'm done with the epilogue I will stop writing at least for some time. If you want a good finale rewrite, check out The Ending Of The End: Love And Tolerance Edition by StarlightIsVeryCute, if you haven't read it yet.
10355013
Okay final review. The reformation sequences were kind of rushed, but overall not bad at all considering this was your first story.
I loved the ending, the clones dying was a little sad, but I see where your coming from in regards to that.
The action scenes were brilliant and the ending was great. It felt like this could've been a episode of the show, so good for you on being more consistent with your final than the actual show was.
Admittedly I am atypical compared to most people, but I would totally read that.
10355274
Thanks for the review! I did receive some other commentary that Chrysalis's change of heart went too quick, so I will make a few changes the coming days. This is the key moment of the story, after all. I'm sorry I couldn't save the clones; my reasons are as Chrysalis gave them, plus the idea that there is a designated bad guy would make for a better moral for Chrysalis. If anypony would be evil it's a clone made of pure evil and a stick. It would feel hollow if after all of this the whole affair was just a "misunderstanding", and it would stretch this part even further. On the other hand I have no objection against people who try to redeem them: it'd be like Dark Pit from Kid Icarus, who is a very interesting character.
Thanks for reading and stay tuned a bit longer: there is still a final chapter coming to tie up everything.
I already posted my thoughts and opinion in the thread, so to make it short - awesome chapter, but Chrysalis' change and behavior could be a bit more dramatic, emotional and filled with her internal conflicts.
Still, I really liked it!
I liked this chapter, but I have to agree with other comments that Chrysali's change of heart was rushed. It kinda went from 'I will enslave the whole hive and nothing will stop me!' to 'ahh we are cool now'. I like the idea that Tirek fight Chrysalis and tries to calm her down, but I think you could do more and for example make the situation that Chrysalis is in immediate danger like a big rock is falling on her or one evil clone is about to deliver a fatal blow and Tirek saves her in last second to show that he cares about her or something like that.
Then some actions sequence you could use minor improvements.
For example, this kinda feels like turn-based combat. Rainbow Dash attack first while Fluttershy is waiting for her turn and then attacks when Dash is trapped in claws.
Also, this part is plain telly, try to show more description. Something like
Otherwise, it makes me smile to see that the trio is getting a happy ending.
10356658
Points taken; I'm working on an improved version. The last 1500 or so words I wrote down all on the last day, it's fair to say it was rushed. If there are any other small issues with my writing style I'd love to know. For instance during writing I find myself using too many "and"s (as if my sentences aren't coherent enough); and I sometimes wonder how many "she said" tags I should use when there is a lot of dialogue.
10357312
This is a tough one. I personally I'm in the camp 'stick to the said' because I tend to skip over said since it is so common that it just blends in the text and dialog tags like groaned, mused and etc actually interrupt the flow of dialog for me more (some author like Elmore Leonard even tells you that you should use said always, no exceptions). But that's just personal taste.
If you need to set the tone like the character is angry, happy, nervous, or any other tone for dialog you can try to use body language (that is something that myself should become better at using), but if you use tags like groaned or mused here and there no tragedy will happen.
This is a piece from The Goldfinch and you can see that there are four said quite close together and that didn't prevent that book from winning Pulitzer Price.
On the other hand Game of Thrones had plenty of tags as commented, continued, groaned, snapped and etc and that didn't prevent that book from becoming a huge success.
But to answer your question, I wouldn't much worried about using said tag too much. It should be your default and use other dialog tags when you don't how to set a tone otherwise.
The issue is probably not the right word. The recommendation I said works for me specifically, it is perfectly possible that another reader will hate the text for the same exact reason. So I rather use word guidelines then rule and in your case, I would applied show, don't tell.
So here we go.
That's nice. I like it. Weather is a nice tool to set a tone (albeit quite a cliche for me), but write it like it affects Thorax. Something like.
Yelled is not necessary, you can tell that from context.
Powerful flash is kinda melodramatic. Try using a sharp flash if it sounds better.
This is where you should use a said. It is redundant. You showed us that she explained and after that tells us that she explained it. The same goes for tags like commanded, commented, demanded, etc.
Be more specific. Supported how? Lifted him with his magic or hoisted him on his shoulder?
Telling. Show it that by that he gulped, took a step back, or nervously chuckled.
Telling. Show it by something like.
Weapons of opportunity! Perfect. But it is better to describe that scene contains a couple of boulders before the fight started. Also, it is good a write some description of the scene now. The last information was this.
I have no idea if they fighting in a cave or in open space.
This is good. Showing how fight affects the setting it always makes it more alive.
Wow If it caused to flow of debris that Chrysalis is shouting it like a canon.
Use a sound here a there. Like
Try
Threateningly is redundant. I consider a hissing as show a threat.
What has invisible spell to do with mind-controlling?
Beams is quite a repetitive word in this chapter. Try use something else like bolts, shafts, lump of magical energy etc.
protested is kinda weird. Panicked would be more appropriate.
Tell that before after Tirek pitched her into a air to make stakes higher.
You don't need to tell she used her to her advantage. Just show that she missed the blast.
Something like
This whole part you should cut as much possible. There is a lot of action going on that should happen in a short time window and thus pacing should be quicker.
Sting her eyes
Now, this is just nitpick but I think it was really considered from the mean Twilight to give a Pharynx time for his speech before mean Twilight launched her spell
Try to use a sound like crackling beam, or she pitched the beam with sharp hiss etc.
Well, these are some points I noticed. Hope it will be helpfull
10357486
That's quite an extensive list, you're doing me a huge favour. For the "explained" I was going for a tinge of uneasiness; she was improvising a lie, after all (but then again this is clear from context and "explained" doesn't really convey this sentiment at all). The setting, I imagine, is some corner half-hidden from the public eye but spacious enough not to be a problem for the ensuing conflict. Not really picturesque beyond what I've already laid out so I guess it is best referenced on the go, that is, giving a sense of dimension as characters are moving around in it. "Invisible spell" my bad, it's a continuity from an earlier chapter but it's an absolutely redundant and non-illustrative detail that I don't expect you to remember, so I will get rid of it. "Beams" indeed got reptitive, to my own disgust, thanks for the synonyms. I'm not sure if "panicked" has the right emotion. I'm thinking of the scene in The Mean Six where Twilight is caught by the Tree of Harmony; she is definitely alarmed (and this time even more so), but I reckon that she's too analytical to panic outright. "Tell that before after Tirek pitched her into a air to make stakes higher." Which one, before or after? I agree that the timeline is a bit messy here; it is Cozy who draws Twilight's attention. Tirek's situation down below raises the stakes but I was having trouble with bringing this in naturally. Do you really think I should cut the whole part of Cozy soaring past the rainbow beam? I agree that the pacing should be cranked up to eleven here, but there's stuff going on that I am not keen on skipping altogether: that seems like a huge sacrifice. As for Pharynx speech: it had been said that Cozy was buying the group time by having several Changelings distract the clones (and this is explicitly resolved after the break); I thought I could get away with just a little more weighty dialogue amidst all the chaos. I already received feedback that Chrysalis's change of heart needed to be less abrupt, so I'm faced with the problem of putting this somewhere.
Don't take this as my contesting your criticisms, I am just sharing my train of thought. Most of the points your raised I will edit at once.
10357522
Oh, should be before he pitched her.
It is just that for is more plausible that she thought about stakes before Tirek pitched into the air. After that, I don't know if she had time to think about it that long.
I would cut the red part and green moved before she is pitched. The rest is fine.
I was just nitpicking. I think the speech itself is fine.
Glad I could help.
Nice to see everyone come together to contribute in the victory. I do feel kinda bad for the clones though. Guess there wasn't an opportunity to try and talk them down.
I've made a few changes to the chapter, implementing criticism (thanks once more to the readers!) and extending bits that felt too short.
10376851
Yeah, I understand that this outcome doesn't please everyone. I personally see the clones as a manifestion of evil and vice; if they are purged by the Elements of Harmony, there won't be anything left. It is, in my eyes, nature at work, and as such I tried to present it as "humane" as possible. Balance and all that. But I'm very accepting of other philosophies in regards to the clones, they are a great point of moral controversy, after all.
Damn, Chryssie must've been really out of it that those two milquetoasts got a drop on her.
Pity the clones had to die.
10439962
Don't take them for too much of a bunch of wimps. As Pharynx said, they have been training for Chrysalis's eventual attack, and for what it's worth, Pharynx is still a military leader.