After being trapped in Limbo, the Candy Mare finds herself spat out on the umbral plain and greeted by a familiar voice. Welcome to Hell.
Slowly crawling to her hooves she opened her her eyes and swept them over her surroundings.
two things, cut a her and comma after hooves if you deem necessary
lone, tiny form
either a coma before lone or after form
With a grimace on her face she her drill chewed through the surface of the lake as quickly as it could,
either there's a comma/ suspension points missing after she or that she has to drop, otherwise the sentence feels incomplete
It was as if the Candy Mare was merely a pebble briefly distorting the underground sea,
comma between pebble and briefly, or the sentence would feel to long for the pacing
quick freezing her in place.
the word you're looking for is quickly
10486546
Good catch.
Fair enough.
Nope. Quick-freeze is a word actually, and it was intentionally used since she's made of candy.
quick-freeze/ˈkwikˌfrēz/
verbgerund or present participle: quick-freezing
Thanks
For a second there I thought she was a goner
oh wow and here i was thinking our villain was about to croak
two things, cut a her and comma after hooves if you deem necessary
either a coma before lone or after form
either there's a comma/ suspension points missing after she or that she has to drop, otherwise the sentence feels incomplete
comma between pebble and briefly, or the sentence would feel to long for the pacing
the word you're looking for is quickly
10486546
Good catch.
Fair enough.
Nope. Quick-freeze is a word actually, and it was intentionally used since she's made of candy.
quick-freeze
/ˈkwikˌfrēz/
verb
gerund or present participle: quick-freezing
Thanks
For a second there I thought she was a goner
oh wow and here i was thinking our villain was about to croak