Aliens who can travel between dimensions invade Equestria, and in desperation, the survivors must turn to Sombra for aid. However, Spike has his own mission to save the land, while a stranger with connections to the invaders shares a dark secret.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Another great chapter, I have to say. I'm glad with how's the story going. In this chapter I can see hints and pieces of a plot lone while also diving deep into characters. Like sombra for example, while he is the currently strongest there. You didn't protrade him as the cocky baster, now while he is cocky his isn't stupidly so and knows if he doesn't play his cards right he could end up dead. I'm also glad that you didn't make him straight up kill shinning armor and rather tried to make his solider. It fits his character of wanting to be in power while humiling his rivals/enemies.
As for the Spike portion of the story. I'm happy that's it's somewhat longer than last time and showing us more of the home him and the gals made for themselves. Now while I was a bit surprised you included sunset, I'm happy that you did cause it creates a bit if a brewing drama along with the fact that it's not just everyone there is completely happy with everything. It's a good time when you make a strong character better by showing them that they themselves don't think they're all powerful. Strong but not unbeatable.
Now I wondering about a few thinks, one of which is that will you be able to juggle all these characters and these two plot lines. Now you seems to be doing a good job right now and I'm proud of you for doing so. Most people stop the harem (not including he main 6/7 trope) at 5 but you want to above and beyond by having two "protagonist" both with a potentially large harem.
One of other thing that has been on my mind is will there be like flash back chapters where we see stuff that lead up to this probably starting from the day before the invasion to the day before chapter 1.
And finally, will the sombra/Spike have a male in there harem like say gallus or thorax. Now from what I read so far I'm almost positive it's just females for them but I wanted to know if that's okay with you without spoiling anything.
And I'm sorry if this comment (/review) is so long. Just wanted to say what I thought 😅
9837636
9837636
Thanks for the long comment, it really helps me figure out if the story is on track or needs some retooling/a saving throw! I'll talk about a few points;
-Credit to NotaPonyPerson for lots of Sombra's depiction!
-Yeah, Sunset was picked because I felt it would add an interesting dynamic; that's how most characters were chosen since my collab partner hasn't requested any inclusions so far. A few more EQ exclusives may appear eventually...
-Cast is definitely large which is dicey, but admittedly some characters will only have bit parts. Focus will mainly be on Sombra, Spike, and an OC who will make their proper debut next time.
-No plans for flashbacks at the moment, as most I intended to leave to reader imagination, but it's certainly possible!
-I don't mind male on male content despite being hetero, but no plans for it at the moment as I'm not sure my readers would be into it.
I love the chapter. Hope for more soon.
9837951
Thank you, not sure when next will come but I'm hard at work in my spare time!
I can tell I'll enjoy this story with all the Sombra and Spike clop scenes!
So Beatrix was captured upon entering this world and she somehow wound up encountering Shining early on too?
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I believe so, memories are pretty hazy since I haven't revisited this in a while. From what I recall Beatrix was tracked by the Eldritch, hopped across dimensions to try and lose them, until they finally cornered and captured her here.