I want to read this but, I find myself skipping through most of the text. I think it’s because the whole chapter feels like “introduce villain” and the dialogue and story feels kinda like a checklist. Idk I’ll keep reading although I’d suggest finding a way to make the characters within this chapter feel more relevant or appealing cause I feel lost and on a tangent when reading so far. Like the plot however and believe this has a lot of potential! 👍🏻
9851751 Thank you for the constructive criticism I'll take it into consideration. I must agree with you that the story seems to be trudging slowly and that the characters are a bit unrelatable due to how quick they appear and disappear I will try to fix this as I continue to write the story. I can't wait to finally get back to writing about the main character tbh just gotta get through these chapters first.
Mmmm. Delicious plots from the beginning!
...
Wait! I mean, evil plans! Not... that kind of plot.
I want to read this but, I find myself skipping through most of the text. I think it’s because the whole chapter feels like “introduce villain” and the dialogue and story feels kinda like a checklist. Idk I’ll keep reading although I’d suggest finding a way to make the characters within this chapter feel more relevant or appealing cause I feel lost and on a tangent when reading so far.
Like the plot however and believe this has a lot of potential! 👍🏻
9851751
Thank you for the constructive criticism I'll take it into consideration. I must agree with you that the story seems to be trudging slowly and that the characters are a bit unrelatable due to how quick they appear and disappear I will try to fix this as I continue to write the story. I can't wait to finally get back to writing about the main character tbh just gotta get through these chapters first.
9851760
Hey it takes some coconuts to post a story online for peeps like me who know nothing to criticize lol, keep it up dude!
I thought the point of anon characters was that they could be anyone. I'm willing to bet that very few of us known any cyborgs from the future...
>alot
You've forced my hand...
https://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
Hmmmm....... I'm getting some major "Germany pre-wwii" vibes here from the Griffons......