I'mma be real with you here Chief. I couldn't get through the first chapter.

You really need to work on your narration. It feels incredibly dry and it's a chore to slog through.

But for your first story? It ain't too shabby. Just keep working on improving your writing and I'm sure you'll do great!

9863545
Thanks for the feedback!
I'll admit I feel like I'm trying too hard to narrate

Felt like this 4th chapter was the strongest one however, the story is heading toward a different direction than I thought it might previously which means this is where we depart mr author person. Nothing against the plot just thought it was a different type of story, wanted to ride through and see, will say though I liked this chapter way more than the previous ones!

9865349
Thanks for sticking with the story thus far feel free to come back whenever!

I dont get it... in the first chapter at the end... NEPTUNE AINT GOT NO SURFACE!

9866410
When's the next chapter coming out.

9916432
I know bub I just took some writer liberty to get a point across.

9931656
Still working on it. Some things felt a bit off so I had to do some research and college is not getting any easier.
On the other hand however this will be a pretty long chapter and because of it i'm seriously considering the possibility of making a canon side story due to how much will be glossed over.

9932114
Thanks.

Luna tries to speak silently in between sobs "We missed you so much dad" the waterworks let loose as she held him harder, scared that Anon would disappear into thin air.

Wait wut.........?