Ponyville is a tourist hot spot! People from all over Equestria are flocking to Ponyville, and some of the towns residents seem to be reacting strangely. Could this have something to do with a new shady business opening on the outskirts of town?
She had all that cash on her person? Was buying them at auction the whole plan? What does this even get them vs just kidnapping them or forcing a confrontation during the day?
So how will they free Twilight and the others from the hypnosis for good and should they contact Luna and Celestia, if so I think both of then would transform into their Nightmare forms to punish the ponies who did this to them.
I’m just taking a wild guess here but I suspect that this is where the “Starlight” figure as you said plans to surprise Applejack here, finds out Big Mac was brainwashed as well and take her prisoner , it’s just a wild guess.
9998926 Some of this is symptomatic of splitting this in half, though looking back you are right that I should've taken a bit more time to elaborate earlier on, I guess that's what I get for rushing...
With regards to kidnapping vs. going in alone, my thinking was there needed to be confirmation that something was seriously wrong, that AJ is feeling shes been out of the loop lately and doesn't want to press issues that she may not fully understand, but maybe I haven't been forceful enough on implying that.
Whoever did this to the Main 6 and the other ponies from Ponyville gets taken out, why I'm shocked that DISCORD hasn't found out what has happened to Fluttershy, he would DESTROY anyone for using his BEST friend like that.
The combination of concern & self-doubt from AJ is spot on. This is an extremely weird situation, and one would not normally just assume that something sinister is happening. I'm curious how Mac's subversion will come in to play now. The only thing which stood out to me in Chapter 5 was how you referenced Zecora when she collected payment. All things being equal, 'migrant' is a powerful word even under normal circumstances, and doesn't fit at all with the rest of your writing. If the story was setup such that it was an issue being addressed, that'd be fine. But otherwise that kind of thing just doesn't come up in this (their?) world. You could say 'exotic mare', 'mysterious zebra', anything along those lines would read better, I feel.
10001367 Much better, plus addressing the characters by profession is a subtle reminder of who they are normally, and that this situation is extraordinary. The fact that this little thing stood out to me speaks to the quality of your writing; the pacing & dialogue is excellent - 'here are the established personalities we know & love, but in a sinister situation that is not normal'.
Oh hey AcidPanic I have a great idea for a stripper name for Applejack if she’s caught, how about .....”SweetTart”,it would probably be what the “Starlight” figure call her after Rarity was done subduing Applejack
Um AcidPanic I know this question is getting redundant but when is the next half of the previous chapter gonna come up? I'm really eager to find out what happens to Applejack once she enters that room with Big Mac, Fluttershy, and Rarity.
10063940 Sorry I missed your last comment, didn't see it, uhhhhhhhh favourite season would prolly be the 4th, the key-centric episodes made for nice character development, Pinkie Pride is easily tied for my favourite episode overall, and the ridiculous fight at the end was a nice change of pace.
Ha ya that was funny especially Gummy and Boneless they were funny as well , that’s one of my favorite seasons as well and my favorite episode was “Pinkie Apple Pie”. And the song “ Apples to the Core” is one of my favorite MLP songs, I think it might be my moms favorite too because it has Applejack in it and the song is in western I mean come on who doesn’t like a western song . And by the way I thought the next chapter was coming on January 31st is it still being changed a bit or did something happen and you just didn’t have the time to post it?
10067188 Yah it was sposed to be done, I'm tryna push it out but I'm having trouble with some other stuff in life, while also having trouble fixing some problems I made for myself by choosing to skip writing a chapter
Ah I see, well do your best and I hope your problems turn out okay. Oh also what’s your favorite song from MLP:FIM one of my favorites is “Love is in Bloom”, the one from the wedding 💒 Special with the changelings (when they weren’t so nice) I love that one.
Ah i hear ya theres so many great songs from MLP: FIM that its nearly impossible to choose just one favorite. And do you like the Equestria Girls movies, I heard theres going to be comic book of the girls coming on March.
Hey AcidPanic how’ve you been doing this week, you haven’t answered my last message last Thursday, guess you must be pretty busy with other stuff in life while also trying to finish the next chapter, well when you get the chance I hope to see it thanks and hope everything in your life is going well .
Oh okay, oh well i at least love them and thats all that matters I mean come on Pony characters turned to HUMANS who wouldn't love that. By the way are you any close to finishing the next chapter and do you like Digimon?
She had all that cash on her person? Was buying them at auction the whole plan? What does this even get them vs just kidnapping them or forcing a confrontation during the day?
So how will they free Twilight and the others from the hypnosis for good and should they contact Luna and Celestia, if so I think both of then would transform into their Nightmare forms to punish the ponies who did this to them.
You tease, Redheart would be absolutely perfect for this
I’m just taking a wild guess here but I suspect that this is where the “Starlight” figure as you said plans to surprise Applejack here, finds out Big Mac was brainwashed as well and take her prisoner , it’s just a wild guess.
And hey AcidPanic sorry if we’ve been giving you any kind of pressure, take your time, I really look forward to read your next chapter.
9998926
Some of this is symptomatic of splitting this in half, though looking back you are right that I should've taken a bit more time to elaborate earlier on, I guess that's what I get for rushing...
With regards to kidnapping vs. going in alone, my thinking was there needed to be confirmation that something was seriously wrong, that AJ is feeling shes been out of the loop lately and doesn't want to press issues that she may not fully understand, but maybe I haven't been forceful enough on implying that.
Thanks for the feedback
9999081
This is a very good question, we will have to see
9999111
Gotta love a lady who comes with her own fetish outfit <3
Sorry to leave you hanging, I'll try to bring her back soonish
9999230
Dun wry about it, keeps me motivated
9999616
Whoever did this to the Main 6 and the other ponies from Ponyville gets taken out, why I'm shocked that DISCORD hasn't found out what has happened to Fluttershy, he would DESTROY anyone for using his BEST friend like that.
The combination of concern & self-doubt from AJ is spot on. This is an extremely weird situation, and one would not normally just assume that something sinister is happening. I'm curious how Mac's subversion will come in to play now. The only thing which stood out to me in Chapter 5 was how you referenced Zecora when she collected payment. All things being equal, 'migrant' is a powerful word even under normal circumstances, and doesn't fit at all with the rest of your writing. If the story was setup such that it was an issue being addressed, that'd be fine. But otherwise that kind of thing just doesn't come up in this (their?) world. You could say 'exotic mare', 'mysterious zebra', anything along those lines would read better, I feel.
10001101
This is a fair point, believe i've taken care of it, thanks for the input
10001367
Much better, plus addressing the characters by profession is a subtle reminder of who they are normally, and that this situation is extraordinary. The fact that this little thing stood out to me speaks to the quality of your writing; the pacing & dialogue is excellent - 'here are the established personalities we know & love, but in a sinister situation that is not normal'.
10002661
Aw geez you're making me blush 0///0 thanks so much
Oh hey AcidPanic I have a great idea for a stripper name for Applejack if she’s caught, how about .....”SweetTart”,it would probably be what the “Starlight” figure call her after Rarity was done subduing Applejack
10003670
This is a cute name, I'll see what happens with it, thanks
Thanks and you’re welcome
Quick question, how many days till the next chapter?
Um AcidPanic I know this question is getting redundant but when is the next half of the previous chapter gonna come up?
I'm really eager to find out what happens to Applejack once she enters that room with Big Mac, Fluttershy, and Rarity.
10039166
Shud b the 22nd-26th
Ok if it comes on ether of those days than I will shut up 🤐 , ... at least until after I hear when the next one after the next chapter comes out.
Hey AcidPanic I’m sorry for always bugging you about when the next chapter is coming out, I hope I didn’t pressure you so much ?
Hey, it's me again just here to say I'm looking forward to the next chapter and was wondering which season of MLP: FIM is your favorite?
10063940
Sorry I missed your last comment, didn't see it, uhhhhhhhh favourite season would prolly be the 4th, the key-centric episodes made for nice character development, Pinkie Pride is easily tied for my favourite episode overall, and the ridiculous fight at the end was a nice change of pace.
Ha ya that was funny especially Gummy and Boneless they were funny as well , that’s one of my favorite seasons as well and my favorite episode was “Pinkie Apple Pie”.
And the song “ Apples to the Core” is one of my favorite MLP songs, I think it might be my moms favorite too because it has Applejack in it and the song is in western I mean come on who doesn’t like a western song .
And by the way I thought the next chapter was coming on January 31st is it still being changed a bit or did something happen and you just didn’t have the time to post it?
10067188
Yah it was sposed to be done, I'm tryna push it out but I'm having trouble with some other stuff in life, while also having trouble fixing some problems I made for myself by choosing to skip writing a chapter
Ah I see, well do your best and I hope your problems turn out okay.
Oh also what’s your favorite song from MLP:FIM one of my favorites is “Love is in Bloom”, the one from the wedding 💒 Special with the changelings (when they weren’t so nice) I love that one.
10069192
Prolly the Smile Song, or Flawless, but theres like a million to choose from and those are just from the top of my head
Ah i hear ya theres so many great songs from MLP: FIM that its nearly impossible to choose just one favorite.
And do you like the Equestria Girls movies, I heard theres going to be comic book of the girls coming on March.
Hey AcidPanic how’ve you been doing this week, you haven’t answered my last message last Thursday, guess you must be pretty busy with other stuff in life while also trying to finish the next chapter, well when you get the chance I hope to see it thanks and hope everything in your life is going well .
10071656
Sorry, uhhhh I reli don't personally like them much, but the songs for the second movie were pretty alright
Oh okay, oh well i at least love them and thats all that matters I mean come on Pony characters turned to HUMANS who wouldn't love that.
By the way are you any close to finishing the next chapter and do you like Digimon?