Icebergs

by shortskirtsandexplosions

That weak feather of a pegasus who totally digs me

Yeesh. Sweet Apple Acres is so boring. If I had to work there, I'd hang myself. Celestia knows there's enough friggin' apple trees to do it with. I wonder how come Applejack's lived so long; surely she gets bored to death too. Or, maybe, she has tried hanging herself before, but the rope snapped every time. Why not? Her dang neck's thick enough for that to happen.

Heh. Heheheheheh. Ahhhhhh yeahhhhh. Gosh, this breeze is frickin' sweet. Whoop! Here comes a good tail-wind. Gotta make use of it. Hmmm-Ah! I know! The Nebula Gale Spiral! Just loop around, tilt to the right, let the gust carry you—Whoahhhh ho ho ho ho! Haha! Yeah! Nailed it! Stick that in your jumpsuit and roll around in it, Soarin'. Give it a year or two and, I swear, the only pie you'll be eating will be my—

Whoah, hello down there? Is it? Hey, it is.

"Fluttershy!" I holler. "Yo, Fluttershy!" I holler again. Nothing.

I squint. Uhhh, yeah, she's totally down there in the middle of the road. I could recognize that weak streak of yellow from a continent away. The heck is going on? Is she not hearing me from down there? Arrgh, is her ears full of cotton or somecrap? What's she doing anyway? Looks like she's feeding a ferret some fish. Doesn't seem to be biting the food any. Heh, what are the odds it's just road kill? Heheh... Heheheheheheh—Shhh! Shhh, this is gonna be sweet. Heheheh—Check this out. Just fly down, land, squat behind the bushes, ready your legs, stretch out your wings, aaaaaaaaaand—

"Halt right there!" I leap into the dirt road, growling. "It's the weasel police! Hoof over your tiny, furry carnivores!"

"Eeeeep!" Fluttershy squeaks like a million mice receiving papercuts all at once and lands on her back with her hooves sticking up into the air. The ferret lets out a breathless gasp and scurries into the nearby thicket. Meh. Little coward.

"Snkkkt—Hahaha! Jeez, Fluttershy! Do you ever stop being so predictable?! Hahaha!"

"Oh Rainbow Dash," she murmurs. She climbs up to her hooves, jolting with each palpitating heartbeat surging through her. "Why must you always be so... so..."

"Sneaky?"

"I was going to say 'loud,'" she murmurs, picking at a smattering of spilled fish in the road and placing them back into her basket. "We've been around each other all our lives. More than anypony, you know that I startle easily."

"Well, it's a tough world we live in, ain't it?" I trot swiftly around her. I bet I could fly around her four times as fast. "Luckily, you've got me to help you keep your guard up! Imagine how much more of a softy you'd be if I wasn't around!"

"Erm..." She bites her lip and fidgets in that way she's always been doing since flight school. The blush in her cheeks is like a sunset on snowy mountains. "Yes, I... uh... I suppose."

I smile. Oh yeah. She totally digs me.

"So..." I plant a hoof on her basket and sniff at it, making a face. "Whatcha doin' all the way out here shoving fish down the throats of marsupials?"

"Uhm... Ferrets aren't marsupials."

"Whatever, it's all the same."

She sighs, but gives me a gentle smile all the same. "Well, you didn't show up forty minutes ago like I thought you would, so I figured I'd spend the time feeding the forest critters who are too shy to even come close to my cottage. And, well, as most animal caretakers know, fish is a delectable source of protein for almost all walks of—"

"Boooriiiiiiiing," I groan. "How come I never see you building stables for Ursa Majors, Phoenixes, Capricorns, or any of the really cool creatures that stumble into Equestria? Heck, if you built a doghouse for Cerberus, even I would visit the place more!"

"Well, those are all fantastic creatures, Rainbow Dash, but on top of being very large in size, they're also not very social. They like to keep to themselves, the Capricorns especially. And—besides—who am I to invade on their privacy?" With a gentle smile, she turns and trots her dainty self east along the dirt road. "I didn't realize you thought so many of my animal friends were boring. After all, when it was time for you to get a pet, didn't you take a special liking to Tank?"

"Who?"

"Oh. Oh... uhm..."

"Just what are you doing, Fluttershy?"

"Huh? I... I'm walking back to the cottage."

"You call that walking?!"

"I... guess?"

"For crying out loud! I've known slugs who go faster than you!"

"How... Wh-Where did you see slugs going so fast?"

"'Daring Do and the Large Haydron Collider,'" I say. I smile. "They were wearing rocket launchers."

"Really? How... uhm... fascinating?"

"Don't you want me to deliver those papers you got at the cottage to Cloudsdale or don't you?"

"I do, Rainbow. I'm going as fast as I can. Would you like me to fly?"

"Heh. Don't bother." I reach over and swing a hoof around her ribs. "Hold onto your fish."

"Rainbow Dash, you really don't have to—Eeeep!"

Oh yes. We have to. I'm grinning. She's flinching. Wind and trees and leaves and more leaves. We're like speedboats on a green ocean, and nothing can stop us. Yeah, this is how you fly. Too bad Fluttershy won't try to move this fast on her own. I have to do the real flying for the both of us. It's always been that way, really. Since day one, I've tugged her around, like I'm doing now. Any sensible pegasus would have given up ages ago, but not this mare. I guess my problem is that I'm too nice. Heh.

Nah, I don't expect her to thank me. Through the blurring haze of my side vision, I can see her yellow figure wincing, trembling. She's already lost a mackerel or two from her basket. Dang it, filly, get ahold of yourself! Yeesh. You see, I could have said that last part out loud, but I didn't. I mean, Fluttershy's got feelings, after all, and they're super sensitive—or at least that's what Pinkie has told me several times.

I never really see much of a use for them: feelings, that is. However, they appear to be all Fluttershy wants to grab ahold of, never mind a good tail-wind. If only she practiced flying a lot harder from the very early years, maybe she'd be able to outpace a swarm of butterflies. But I guess that was not meant to me. Yeesh, I can't even begin to count all the times I've had to "defend her honor" and whatnot. But it's not like I'm complaining, not really. I hate it when other ponies chew out the poor girl. Like, seriously, they can all get bent! She doesn't need any of their jerkiness, and so long as I'm around, they'll regret ever trying to lift a hoof against her.

Hey, is that something like feeling? No? Meh, my brain hurts whenever it tries thinking about my heart.

"C-could you slow down, Rainbow Dash?" she whimpers. "Just a little bit?"

"Just chillax! You'll be fine! A few g-forces never ruined anything but a previous speed record!" I mean, really, is there any part of Fluttershy's body that isn't soft? I feel like I've got a pillow full of flower petals tucked under my arm. Just how does nature shove a living, thinking, talking thing into such a frail cloud of trembles and shakes? Heck, I'd be scared if I were her, having a non-athletic body like that, utterly helpless to a random burst of air. Celestia knows what she'd do in the middle of a hurricane. "Ever thought of eating some of those fish yourself? Y'know, for the protein?"

"Rainbow Dash!" she gasps as if I just set fire to one of her relatives. Omigosh, that clicking sound in the back of her throat: y'know the one where she comes across too confused to be either angry or shocked? So frickin' ridiculous; it drives me crazy. "How could you suggest such a thing?!"

"Hahahaha—Oh! We're here!" I do a backflip, carrying her with me, and drag us earthward in a whistling plunge. At the last second, I apply the airbrakes—a trade secret—and touch us down onto the welcome rug of her cottage's front entrance. Heh... doormat to doormat landing. See what I did there? "Now that wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Mmmmm..." She's clinging to me, trembling, her eyes clenched as her soft face nuzzles my shoulder.

I smirk. Yup. Totally digs me. "Ahem."

Her blue eyes flutter open. She blushes again and spins towards the door, fumbling with the handle. "Uhm, thank you, I-I guess..."

"Er, you're welcome, I guess," I say with a frown, coiling my wings tight against my sides. "It's a good thing I don't ask for tips, am I right?"

"Uhm..."

"So are you going to go to the Sugarcube Corner meet-up tonight?"

"Oh!" she brightens suddenly, smiling over her shoulder at me as she opens the door and leads us both into her cottage. "Absolutely! I wouldn't miss it for anything. I look forward to Granny Smith's apple pies and Twilight Sparkle's reading of Canterlot cook books and—"

"Sounds like a total snore fest to me," I say as I march into the foyer past her.

"Oh..." She blinks, her fuzzy yellow face scrunching up. "Really?"

"Ughh... Do I have to spell it out for you, Fluttershy?" I grumble as I pace past her fireplace, brushing a hoof over the portraits of her many brothers and sisters back in Cloudsdale. In a family with eleven kids, she was the last frickn' one foaled. I swear, her mom's womb was just saving her for a rainy day. It freaks me out to think of how tiny she was at age... pfft, zero. Even when we went to school together, she was so petite that I could pick her up and swing her around like she was made of hairpins. "I mean, apple pies and long dissertations on what kind of casserole Starswirl the Bearded shoved down his wrinkly gullet? Unnngh... Complete, utter Lameapaloosa!"

"I don't know," she says with a smile. She breaks off to pour green pet feed for a swarm of furry little creatures flocking up from the far corners of the cottage to greet her. "I think it'll be a learning experience. Besides, I'm always happy to spend time with you and the other girls. I look forward to hearing about Applejack's family, Pinkie's jokes, Twilight's science experiments..." She stops pouring the bag just long enough to take a huge breath. "...Rarity's dress making projects..."

"Uh huh..." I gaze at the paintings some more. "You're a total softy as usual, Fluttershy..."

"Well, if that's the case, then I'm quite happy to be. Being around friends makes me feel all warm and... t-toasty inside. Don't you feel the same way?"

"Mmmmm..." I tongue the corners of my mouth. This place smells like squirrel poop. There're loose mouse hairs and bird feathers in the corners of the room. I vaguely recall Fluttershy asking me a question four... maybe five seconds ago, but it's like yesterday's eggs all of the sudden. This place could really do with some maid service or something. Isn't that Fluttershy's bag? Cleaning up stuff? Heck, she's a pegasus. She should be living up in the clouds like me, where you don't have to fret about dusting or sweeping or nothing. "Don't you ever get lonely in this place?"

She looks at me solidly, her eyebrow arched. "Lonely... Rainbow Dash?"

Why's she looking at me so weird? It's not like I asked her if—Oh holy flaming crap, I did ask her if she was lonely. Why did I just do that? Dang it all. I blame her stupid, soft body and her stupid blushing and her stupid... stupid... stupid...

"Er... I mean... You're just surrounded by a bunch of animals," I say, turning to face her, or at least the open door behind her, which is suddenly really crazy inviting. "Is there something so wrong about living around other pegasi?" I gulp. "Like me?"

"Well, you're my closest and oldest friend, Rainbow Dash. You've taken care of me for as long as I know." She puts the bag of feed away and paces over towards the envelope full of files that she needs me to deliver. "But, unfortunately, not all pegasi are like you. You... uhm... you know how terrible I am with crowds, especially with ponies of a feather. It's why I'm always having you go to Cloudsdale to deliver my monthly report to the Animal Commission."

Stupid... Stupid... Stupid... "Well, maybe all other pegasi are—like..." I fumble for words. "...totally stupid!" Even I have to wince at that.

She giggles. It's the gentlest sound in the world, and still I feel like her side of the cottage has exploded in flames. "All pegasi but you and me?" She winks, and I feel that explosion again. Am I doing a swan dive into a volcano right now? No? Then what the heck's your deal, heart?! "Isn't that rather hard to believe, Rainbow?" she says, then slowly shakes her head like the melancholy little foal I had always hoped to wring out from her soft body. "No, I'm just weak. I don't fit in with the ponies of Clousdale, and you know what? That's okay. I've learned to accept things in life, and when I needed help, you were always there to give it."

"You're..." I gnash through my teeth like there's a thorn in my wings. "You're not weak, Fluttershy..."

"Aren't I, though?"

"You're... You're..." I turn and look at the photographs again. There were so many faces, so many family members, so many distant relations, and I couldn't remember a single time when I had seen any one of them in person. "You're here," I say. I hear Fluttershy's weak voice whimper, only it's not her voice. What the heck? Why's the world foggy all of the sudden? We're inside...

"Is... Is everything okay, Rainbow Dash?"

"H-huh?" I look her way. She's foggy too. But then I blink, and the fogginess goes away. I almost die right here. Hissing, I rub a forelimb across my eyes and snarl, "Friggin' furballs. I swear, I'm allergic to one of them."

"We've known each other for a long time, Rainbow Dash. You've never shown allergies to any of my furry friends before..."

"Oh yeah?! Well..." I stomp a foot and growl, "There're are so dang many of them! Who's to know?!"

"Heeheehee..." She smiles calmly my way. "Who indeed...?" She doesn't seem so weak anymore. Why does that scare me? It's not like she's the one struggling to find a cloud over Ponyville to sleep on every night. It's not like she's the one utterly alone when the stars appear overhead. It's not like she's the one... who closes her eyes, just as the moonlight fogs over, and all she can think of is one name that she repeats over and over again into sleep, and then hugs the sound of it to her lungs like some pathetic blankie to warm her—

"Do you have the friggin' envelope for me to deliver or don't you?!"

She bounces away from me, shivering slightly. "Uhm... Of course!" She gives it to me in a trembling hoof. "Here you go, Rainbow. Thanks for doing the delivery for me again. Just try to be gentle with the contents of the file this time—"

I yank the thing from her grasp, crease it down the middle, fold it again, and shove it under a sweaty wing. "Yuh huh. Right. Got it. Need anything else?"

"Erm..." She squirms, her eyes locked on the one wing. With a sigh, she ultimately decides to smile. "Only that I wish you a safe trip, and I do hope you'll reconsider."

"Reconsider what?"

"Cancelling your appearance at our friendly little get together at Sugarcube Corner tonight."

"Pfft!" I spit. "Who said I wasn't coming, girl?!" I chuckle. "I mean—heck—you're going to be there, right?"

"Well, yes."

"And somepony's gotta walk you home afterdark, am I right?"

"Oh Rainbow Dash..."

"Well, am I right?"

She giggles slightly. "You're always so watchful over me. But, really, I can walk myself home just fine."

"You sure? I promise I won't rocket you around this time."

"Oh, I'm sure you'd do everything just short of carrying me over the thresshold if I let you."

My eyes jerk in opposite directions. Bright white light. Something about that last sentence. Something is breaking inside. I see her smile again, but this time she's looking up at me. Why at such a weird angle? Am I carrying her somewhere? Past the clutter, past all the bird feathers and squirrel poop in the corners of this lonely place, towards a soft corner of the upstairs room that smells most like her, just like the cloud we abandoned since our childhood, only this time we're both there—together—and when I'm laying her down, there's somepony to hear me say that quiet name over and over again, and instead of the starlight there's her tiny smile and the sheen from her breath fogging my eyes over—

"Getting ready to fly, Rainbow Dash?"

My eyes snap back, and I see her on the other end of the foyer, looking at me—or past me.

"Oh! Don't you know it! Heheheh—Best way to prep for a trip to Cloudsdale is to stretch these wings out! Yup! Stretch them waaaaaaaay out! And... uhm..." I spin around, fling the envelope into my mouth, and grind my hooves at the doorframe to her cottage. "Mmmf... Gotta fly!" The sound barrier breaks around me after I've barely cleared the roof of the forest edging her home.

"I look forward to seeing you later!" I somehow hear her say below me in spite of all the thunder.

Ohhhhhh I am so gone...

Comments

[the-pieman]

Celestia knows what she'd do in the middle of a hurricane

I know what she'd do! She'd help speed it up until it could pull water from a lake up into Cloudsdale!

Also: Fricken' wingboners!

[GrandMaster Soul]

Heh wingboner

[Csquared08]

"Whatcha doin' all the way out here shoving fish down the throats of marsupials?"

Oh you... dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Fluttershy_lolface.png

[Ponky]

Hey! You used "marsupials" in a fic! I've been waiting for that forever!

Capricorns keep to themselves... You clever lemur...

D'awww... this was super different than "Loyalty Begins With An L" Rainbow Dash, but it was still super cute and funny. G'job.

Fluttershy likes... Rarity? Hmm... :megusta:

[KittyCatOmaniac]

I feel that certain aspects of Rainbow Dash's personality has been greatly exaggerated here, particularly her inconsiderate side. Hell, she's being painted as a complete douche-bag!

[dark magshin]

1400602
This is pretty much exactly what I was going to say. You've been pretty OOC throughout this fic. Pinkie was pretty off, IMO. Applejack's accent was laid on too thick and was incorrect IMO. Now, this one takes it. I can't even bring myself to continue reading. What a shame, this was such a good idea, too.

[Elzipper7]

1400602 Implying she isn't actually a douche-bag.

[BlueMoonHarlot]

obliviously douchey-horny Dash is amusing