Icebergs

by shortskirtsandexplosions

That super terrific farm filly with scrumptious freckles!

Oh boy oh boy boy! I'm going to go visit Sweet Apple Acres! I swear, it's been so long since I was there last! All of those cute little dirt roads that feel all warm and toasty under my hoofsies! And then the glistening, golden delicious apples! And the cows and the chickens and the piggies and—heeheehee—whoops! Careful, Pinkie: better not be a clumsy klutzaroo with the pie panaroos! Heehee! Oh sweet jumping jam crackers, it's such a beautiful day! I can't remember when the afternoon sun was this bright! Summer is like a huge, happy explosion that doesn't know when to quit! I swear, I could toast marshmallows to this sky! Mmmmm... Marshmallows...

Hey, a blue jay. Coooool. There've been an awful lot of them in Ponyville since spring. I wonder if there're ever any "black jays" or "green jays" or "red jays?" There's enough sky to fill it with rainbows, so why not birds? They deserve all the colors they want too! Especially the ones that sing! Heehee...

Where was I going again...?

Oh right! Sweet Apple Acres! OhmigoshOmigoshOmigosh! I can't wait! I'm glad I can be helping out by delivering these pie pans! I don't wanna seem like a nosy-no-gooder by showing up uninvited. But I just can't help myself at times! There are so many things to see and do at that farm! So many animals to make noises to! So many ways to get exercise! And of couse there's always—

Oh? Ohhhh? Yes! Heehee! There she is! Just beyond the fence, about two lines of orchards away! Heeeee! Wow, has she been working all afternoon? Heehee! Look at her, she's sweatier than a hoofball player after practice! Hiya, Applejack! How are you doing this super-duper teriffic afte—oh, wait. Ooops.

"Hiya, Applejack!" I chirp outloud. Pans rattle behind me as I bounce, bounce, bounce towards her. "How are you doing this super-duper terrific afternoon!?"

"Howdy there, Pinkie." Heeheehee! Oh gosh, that drawl. It's the drawliest of drawly drawls! "Gettin' a heapin' load of work done, I reckon. Whatcha got there?"

"Guess what Ms. Cake decided to lend you!" Her bright green eyes fade to black, along with the world around her. I must be smiling really, really hard. Sometimes I go blind when I'm feeling really god. It makes me think of these silly warnings my mother always gave me. "Come on, guess!" I bounce and bounce and bounce.

"Uhhhh... Pans," Applejack says in a droning voice. Is she out of breath? Oh goodness, I didn't catch her in a bad mood, did I? "I see you got a bunch of pans there. Uhhh... Pie pans?" My vision returns, and something explodes inside me to see her smiling, smiling brightly. "Oh! Are them things for Granny? Shucks, she's been needin' more containers somethin' awful! Great timin', Pinkie. I swear, she's fixin' to make so many of them pies that all of Ponyville will be burstin' through their saddlebags overnight!"

"Heeehee! I don't doubt it!" I grin her way, bouncing. "Your grandmother makes the best, most scrumptious, most delicious pies in all of Equestria!"

"Heh. Now that might be stretchin' the truth just a tad, sugarcube," Applejack says. She kicks a tree and it rains fruit all around her. She's so strong. "Still," she exhales sweatily. Golden fur glistens in the sunny sunlight from the sun. "Them's some mighty complimentary words comin' from the town's most talented baker."

I gasp. I gasp some more. And then there are some little baby gasps balanced on top of the previous gasps, like tightrope trotters. "Wow, you really mean it?!" Does she really mean it? Oh, I am so going to make her a dessert tray to end all dessert trays! Apple fritters! No. Apple dumplings! No. Apple sauce filled doughnuts! Oh wait! She lives around apples! She wouldn't want more of them! Uhhhm.... Uhhhh... "Do you like cinammon?"

"Huh?" She makes a weird face. "Well, erm, reckon I do, at least no less than the average filly. Why, did Ms. Cake send you to deliver some cinammon sticks as well?"

"I should totally bake you a batch of piping hot cinammon rolls!" Bounce bounce. "You can eat them for breakfast and then have all the energy you need to kick trees and drop apples the whole day!" Bounce bounce bounce. "And then when you're done, and it's time for the family dinner, you can have some dessert while you rest by the fireplace—!" Bounce bounce bounce—Ack! A tree root! "Whoahh!"

Applejack catches me with a single hoof before I can faceplant into the farmsoil. "Land's sakes, Pinkie! Simmer down, will ya?"

She chuckles. Her voice does that super adorable thing where it bends around almost like she's gargling water and singing a country ballad all at once. Heehee! Wow, she really is strong! And fast! Wowsies, I could let her catch me forever and ever!

"Here, allow me."

She sweeps the pie pans off my spine and balances them in the hollow of her hat. Heehee! What a talent! Why doesn't she have a hat for a cutie mark? It'd be so cute, just like her freckles. Everytime she smiles, it's like tiny white islands are floating in a sea of tangy orange juice! Hah! Apple and oranges! Ow, I think my chest is going to explode...

"Save some of yer energy for the get together tonight, why don'tcha?"

"Oooh! So you are coming to Sugarcube Corner this evening? Huh? Huh?"

"Why, of course, sugarcube!" Every time she says that happy word, I feel like there are chocolate monkeys banging a vanilla gong in my heart. The farm smells like her: full of sweet fruit, apple blossoms, and sawdust. I wanna wrap her breath around me like a blankie and snuggle through the next five winters. With a smile, she motions for me to follow her to the family farmhouse. I try not to gallop circles around her. But then she speaks again and I think my mane is gonna burst into flames. "Ya know I love chewin' the fat with y'all. It's the highlight of my week, and it's a purdy swell reward for a long day's job well done!"

"Wowwww..." I gawk at all the mounds of red fruit in the baskets lying around us. It's like a sea of cider about to explode everywhere all at once! Heehee! What a delicious deluge that would be! "You did all of this on your own?"

"Big Mac lent a hoof or two before he had to go plow the west fields," Applejack says. We pass by fences and wagons and troughs and other farmy farm stuff. "Figured it'd be proper to get most of the heavy sweatin' done early; that way I can tackle this year's Apple Buck Season without too much stress. Heh, no need for repeatin' the 'bunny rabbit incident' in town, ya reckon?"

"Heeheehee! I reckonnnnn. Wow, Applejack. You're such a terrific, hard working earth pony!" I bounce and bounce and bounce beside her. Her blonde mane is glazed with sweat. It's like Equestria's most bestest dessert has come out toasty, golden brown from the oven of the world. "All the rest of Ponyville could learn a thing or two about giving life the ol' heave ho if they just watched what you do normally!"

"Awww shoot, Pinkie." Applejack stifles a deep chortle. Suddenly those white islands are bathed in rosy lava. "Yer makin' me blush. I just do what I was taught to do. Nothin' more to it."

My teeth hurt. If I could yank them out of my mouth to make smiling easier, I would in a jiffy! Heehee. Silly Applejack. I'd make you blush all day if I could. It's almost as nice as seeing you smile. Heehee—Hey, what's that pitter-pattering sound coming up behind me?

"Booo!" A tiny filly pounces on me from behind. She tries to wrestle me down into the dirt by my tail fluff. "Did I scare ya?"

"Oh no! Ninja Apple Bloom!" I teeter left. I teeter right. I plunged into a mound of hay and stick my bright hoofsies into the golden afternoon. "It was an ambush! A sting! A snare! A trap! Whatever will Auntie Pinkie do?!"

"Oh for pete's sake," Applejack manages beneath a goofy looking facehoof.

"Hehehehe!" Apple Bloom prances over and tries to tickle me. She is in for a world of giggles. "I gotcha, didn't I! Admit it, I finally gotcha, Pinkie Pie!"

"You know what this means..." I stand up slowly. My eyes are thin. I remember all the times I practiced this on Gummy. "Only one pony in all of Equestria has ever been tickled pink, and now she seeks REVENGE!" I pounce on her and rub my mane into the middle of her tummy.

"Aaaack! Heehee! I'm sorry! I give!" Apple Bloom squirms and giggles, waving a tiny hoof out towards Applejack. "Save me, sis! Tell her I'm mighty sorry!"

"You done digged yer own hole, Apple Bloom." Applejack tilted her hat full of pans and entered the household, wiping her hooves on the front mat beforehand. "I've fought Miss Tickles and Giggles before. There ain't no winnin' that battle!"

"Hey! Applejack, wait up!" I stand up.

Apple Bloom jumps to her hooves and trots happy little circles around me. "Did you come to throw us a party, Pinkie Pie? Huh?"

"Maybe just for you, Miss Sweet Apple Acres!" I grin and squat down low. "Want a ride on the Bouncy Express?"

"Do I?!" Apple Bloom hops atop my spine in a blink and grasps mane. "Giddyup! We've got evil, mutant apples to outrun!"

"Heehee! If you say so!" I bounce forward at a leisurely pace, careful not to toss the adoracute little filly from my shoulders. "But you'd better hold tight! The Auntie Pinkie Pie Express doesn't stop for nothin'!"

"I ain't scared!" Apple Bloom giggles as we bound and leap together towards the farmhouse. "Woohooo! Heehee! This is one sure fire way to get me a rodeo cutie mark!"

"Oooh! Oooh!" I gasp as we burst into the foyer of the Apple Family home. "Can I be the clown?! I sooooo wanna live in a barrel!"

"I think you've got part of that covered, darlin'," Applejack's voice hollers from the kitchen as we head towards it. "Good luck findin' yerself a barrel, though." My heart beats as her drawls grow a bit closer. "Hey Granny! Look what Pinkie brought us! Compliments of Ms. Cake!"

"Oooooh! Now ain't that sweet of her?" The smell of raw dough wafts over my coat like a second skin. I see the old, lime-green mare as I carry Apple Bloom into the kitchen. Heehee! I so wanna rock a mane-bun like that when I'm Granny's age. I wonder if I'll have as many wrinkles? Maybe if I roll them out in the morning, I can make myself a second tail! "These are just what I was needin' to finish these here baked goods. Aluminum don't grow on trees like they used to."

"Uhm, Granny?" Applejack stands in the kitchen corner, fanning her sweaty self with the hat. "Metal never grew on trees."

"Hah! Is that what they's teachin' y'all in them fancy-schmancy texbooks these days?" Granny Smith turns, takes one look at the filly atop me, and scowls, "Apple Bloom! Git yer hide off her hide this instance! Heavens to betsy, she's our guest, not a dag blame'd petting zoo ride!"

"Awwww..." Apple Bloom pouts as she trots down onto the kitchen tile beside me. "But Auntie Pinkie was just tryin' to help me get my rodeo cutie mark!"

Heeheehee. Oh, I love being Apple Bloom's auntie. I wonder if Granny will ever call me "granddaughter," if just for one day. This kitchen is so old, and yet so beautiful and amazing. I could bake a masterpiece in here, but if only they'd let me. I would be so super duper lucky.

"Don't be mad at the little scampy wampy, Granny!" I say with a smile that reflects off her old, glossy eyes. "I was just giving her a little tour of the farm."

"You? Givin' a tour of the farm she was raised on?"

"Yes! It was educational!" I turn and gasp in shock at Apple Bloom. "Did you see all the apples?! Weren't they amazing? I hear they only come up from their burrows once a harvest, or else it's another six months of pears!"

"Oh, yes!" Apple Bloom's wide-eyed face looks a lot like mine. "I've never seen creatures that were so... red!"

"Heaven help us," Applejack mutters with a roll of her green eyes and an even bigger roll of her lips. She smiles and her smile drags her across the kitchen until she's brushing past me. "I swear, every time you drop by, Pinkie, it's like our pantries are full of five times as many jars of sugar."

"Ooooh! That can be arranged!" I bounce around in a circle and watch her trot into the Apple Family living room. "I'm sure Miss Cake would love to send more things for pie baking! I could fetch some fresh bags! Oh, and some flour! Ooooh! Ooooh—and cinammon, like we talked about earlier!" Bounce bounce bounce. "I can so totally make deliveries for you all day, everyday!"

"She's a regular bushel load, ain't she?" I hear Granny Smith say from behind, followed by Apple Bloom's high-pitched laughter. I think my day's just been made. I swear, can it get any sunnier? Heehee...

"Say, Pinkie?" Applejack's voice calls from the distant hallway. It's strangely... dull sounding. Uh oh. "Could ya c'mere for a second? I gots somethin' to tell you."

I can't tell if my heart is leaping or falling. Maybe both. Can hearts fly? Does that mean they can walk on clouds like pegasi? Omigosh Omigosh Omigosh—I'm just making her wait by standing here, aren't I?

"Coming!" I sing-song. In two blinks, I've crossed teh house. Applejack is leaning away from me with bright eyes. Ooops. I think I galloped a little too quickly towards her. Eheheh. "Uhm, I'm here! Heheh... What's up, Applejack? Besides the ceiling, that is..."

"It's awful nice havin' you come visit like this, Pinkie Pie..."

I smile.

"However..."

My smile twitches.

"You really shouldn't feel like yer havin' to play deliverypony between the Cake family and the Pie family all the time," Applejack says in a low voice, as if our conversation is something crazy secret that only the shadows should know.

"Oh..." I squeak forth. I feel my ears drooping. I'm looking limply towards the floor before I can think twice about it. "Oh..."

And just then, I realize the day could stand to get sunnier, cuz she's smiling again. "If you wanna just visit, Pinkie Pie, just visit!" Freckles and freckles and freckles. "Y'all rightly know that things ain't just normal, stuffy business between us, sugarcube! My house is yours to crash in when you feel like it, and heaven knows I could use the company when I do my routine apple buckin'!"

My breaths are coming out in tiny bubbles. I think I can feel the soap suds between my teeth. "Eh... eh heh heh heh... Y-You really mean it?" My teeth chatter briefly. I try to scare the shivers away with a gulp but the shivers are being meanie-heads. This place is so comfy, so warm, and I swear that all the photos of countrified relatives are all smiling at me in the same way that Applejack is. Omigosh, she's smiling sooooo much! This is the best random afternoon in the middle of July ever! "I mean, you always have so much work to do, and sometimes it feels like all I'm good at is playing pranks or singing songs—"

"It's an absolute hoot havin' you around, Pinkie," Applejack says with a soft chuckle. So adult, so sisterly, so motherly. I wanna hug her to find out if it's something elsely, but I don't. "Celestia knows Apple Bloom is in stitches just to see you!"

"Heehee! Yeah! She's absolutely adorable!"

I look at the paintings and photos of Applejack's relatives. Her home has a gentle smell to it, like a day old batch of banana bread, not too hard, not too soft. It's like the perfect sofa, and I sooooo wanna just scrunch into the armrest and watch Apple Bloom play with her dolls and Big Mac fix his farmtools and Granny Smith show off her photo albums all the while with Applejack sitting beside me, laughing with that special little drawl of hers, and maybe—just maybe—holding my hoof in hers.

I wish all farms were like this, so full of spirit and earth and all that simple brown goodness. I lived on a farm once. There was no color; everything was gray and rocky and bouldery. I started smiling out of nowhere. I made my family smile too, but it didn't last long. I kept smiling. But they?

"They sent me away..."

"Hmmm?" Applejack leans forward. "What's that, sugarcube?"

"Erm..." I give her my greatest gift, and it hurts my cheeks. "Th-the Cakes sent me to just to hoof you the pie pans! I really didn't mean to make you worry big time about me or nothing..."

"Heheh... This ain't worry, darlin'. Just levelin' with ya, one pony to another. You're welcome to visit anytime. We're friends, after all."

"Yes..." I say with a warm breath. It could be warmer, but I don't want to sink a boat once it's unfurled such a bright sale. I think Twilight used that expression once. She's also a friend. "Yes, we are, aren't we?"

Applejack pats my shoulder. I try not to melt as she then says, "I gotta head on out to the fields. Rainbow Dash is gonna be here soon..."

"Oooh? Dashie?"

"Erm..." She fidgets slightly. "Yes. 'Dashie.' Heh. Anyways, she's gonna help me water some of the dry fields that's been needed moisture somethin' awful. Yer welcome to stay and watch, but I don't think it's gonna be exactly fun."

"Don't fret it!" I bounce. "Fretting is for Fretsenstein Monsters! Heeehee." I salute, raising a pink hoof to a pink forehead with a pink smile. "I'll see ya at the get together at Sugarcube Corner tonight! With bells on! Heehee!"

"Darned if that wouldn't be somethin' worth seein'!"

"Heehee! You're a silly pony, Applejack!" I spin around and bound out of the house, her freckles glued to my eyelids like happy-happy polkadots. "Nopony can see a ringing noise!"

Comments

[the-pieman]

The Auntie Pinkie Pie Express doesn't stop for nothin'!"

i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/299/622/81b.gif
I am NOT sorry, but I couldn't help myself.

[LittleBoyBlue]

1196379
Dis chapter is in full Pinkie mindset.
List of people who can understand what the hell she is saying:

Toby Turner
Sheldon Cooper
Jim Carrey
Me
Spongebob
.......
That's all I can think of for now!

[GrandMaster Soul]

1199144 There's also Chuck Norris Stephen Hawking and Me

[Csquared08]

Oh my... A chapter from Pinkie's absolutely insane perspective? ALL OF MY YES!

I could barely even tell there was Romance involved in this. And I like that, because, you know, Romance is usually the one genre I refuse to touch...

Skirts, this stuff is brilliant so far. I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!

[Samdamandias]

Sometimes I go blind when I'm feeling really god

I can't tell if this is a typo or not, 'cause, y'know, Pinkie.

[aDoof2]

Yknow, you could get high off of reading this chapter.

[Emberspeak]

Ah Pinkie Pie... you're so much fun to read

[silverspawn]

wow, that was the first convincing attempt to write a story from pinkie's perspective i've ever read

e: read the whole thing. what can i say, it's amazing. all 6 chapters are. it's incredibly well written and you found the perfect way to complete it with the 7nd chapter, and to muffin it with the last one. i'm glad you didn't try to write some sort of happy end, that would only have ruined it

[Elzipper7]

"They sent me away..."

gamesprays.com/files/resource_media/preview/pinkie-pie-sad-face-6660_preview.jpg

[Bugenhagen]

This... is the most adorable thing I've ever read!

[Crimson Eclipse77]

Pinkie's train of thought is more like a pogo stick. It's really funny to follow!