Chapter 27 - New Friends, Old Problems
It had been a good long while since I’d heard much about Twilight’s school. In fact I’d heard hardly a peep since the semester came to an end not long after Cozy’s arrest. By all accounts, despite that somewhat serious near disaster, the first class had gone on to graduate without too much trouble, with several of the non-pony students being awarded a distinction not only for their studies and high test scores, but also for their practical use of friendship in stopping that adorable soulless little psycho. Of course, while they’d finished that first year, Twilight had been quick to update things, now offering advanced studies in addition to the existing curriculum that was only available to School of Friendship alumni, so they would sticking around for a while yet.
With the school prospering and no longer quite so cutting edge and controversial, it had fallen out of the spotlight, and was no longer subject to quite as much public scrutiny and criticism. The ending of that school year though also saw a change in public consciousness. You see, after the attack by the Storm King, as I said before, xenophobia flared up sharply all over Equestria, particularly in Canterlot. You had idiots like Blueblood, Neighsay, Flim and Flam, and many others all touting this nonsense about how everything that wasn’t a pony was at best a threat, and at worst some lesser being. That point of view had, of late, come rather unstuck, considering that the last two foes, three if you count everypony’s favourite turncoat Tempest, had been ponies rather than monsters from some other land.
The result of that was that ponies’ attitudes began to change again. As time passed with no real trouble to speak of, you heard less and less about how it was everypony’s duty to guard against the foreign hordes, or how we needed to isolate ourselves from the dangerous world around us. Combined with empirical evidence, what we might call your fair-weather racists were beginning to come to their senses. The hysteria gave way to calmness and rationality, and views that had been perfectly acceptable a year or so ago, were once again becoming unpalatable.
It was nice to see things returning to the way they were. In fact, you could argue things were a little better now. A whole lot of those ponies, they were racist in the true sense of the word. They didn’t hate other creatures because they were different; they were afraid of them. And when the proverbial veil was lifted to show just how much the various species of this world had in common, that fear evaporated. At last, the last echoes of the invasion by the Storm King faded away. Ponies no longer feared other creatures, and instead sough to connect and understand. The magic of friendship permeated the nation once again, driving away the fear and mistrust.
It certainly pleased Celestia. While she might be an absolute ruler, she had no say on what ponies chose to believe. She had had little choice but to sit by and sadly watch in those few months between the attack and when Twilight’s school opened, when ponies all around her, particularly in Canterlot, were gripped by paranoia and suspicion that had not been seen since the first changeling incursion. Now though, peace was returning, and the future looked bright for Equestria. She was certainly glad to end her reign on a high note.
While most ponies who previously ascribed to such views had now simply changed their tune as the times changed, there was one pony, who I knew to hold his racist dogma much closer to his heart than most, who I had not really heard much from. Chancellor Neighsay had, by all accounts, come to his senses at the climax of Cozy’s attempted coup, if you can really call it that. He realised that it wasn’t foreign creatures that were his enemy; it was a psychotic little filly, and those same creatures had been doing all they could to stop her. The incident had had quite the profound effect on him, and had certainly caused him to re-evaluate his views. Whatever else you might say about Neighsay, he is a rational pony, and in the face of a reasoned argument with clear empirical evidence, conceded the point.
I’d heard little of him after he turned up through his portal that day to alert the princesses of what was going on. He was still the chancellor of the EEA, despite putting himself up against a no confidence vote, which was defeated six to two in the ayes’ favour. However, he had opted to take something of a sabbatical, and had briefly disappeared from public life, apparently to re-evaluate his own position as an educator, and I image to do a great deal of soul searching. Today though, he would once again walk into my life.
Over lunch, I found myself deep into the endgame of a match of Mornington Crescent with Celestia and Luna. Discord, our usual acting conductor, was absent today, having gone to visit Fluttershy. And I use the term ‘visit’ euphemistically. The pair have grown somewhat closer of late, while not outright in a romantic relationship, the two seemed to have gone from being just simply best friends. I was toying with the idea of dropping a line to Cadence to see if she could offer any advice. At this point it was starting to look a bit like Bones in the early days of his relationship with Applejack, with neither side willing to make the final, daring move. Perhaps she could help the two bridge the gap just as she had done with my son and his girlfriend.
Speaking of relationships, it seems that Cadence’s arrows have also struck the night princess down. Again, while nothing has really happened as of yet, I’ve seen Luna and Stygian together on more than one occasion, taking evening strolls through the palace gardens, or taking lunch together. He’s still living in Canterlot, now a successful published author, and regularly visits the castle. They are a curious looking couple, with the alicorn positively towering over her much smaller unicorn friend. Still, height preferences don’t seem to be quite so much of a thing in Equestria, and few ponies, apart from perhaps Big Mac, are quite as tall as Luna. Of course, Celestia, as the big sister, had quickly gotten wind of things, and was now gleefully teasing her younger sibling, much to Luna’s annoyance.
“Oh come on, Luna,” Celestia persisted. “I’m just curious.”
Luna let out a huff as she moved her playing piece to Arnos Grove, expertly blocking my own attempt to head her off at the pass at Kew Gardens.
“You are never ‘just curious’, dear sister,” she replied. “You pry, plot and scheme almost as much as that insufferable Discord does. And combined with Cadence, you will no doubt conspire to set me up on some overly romantic outing that will make both Stygian and I deeply uncomfortable. We aren’t like that; we’re just good friends.” Celestia idly sipped her tea.
“Yes,” she replied with a smile. “I’ve often seen good friends walk through the palace garden late at night, with one draping her wing over the other as he leans into her, nothing intimate about that at all.” With that, she moved her own playing piece to Highgate. Luna now went on the offensive.
“Perhaps we should examine your romantic encounters then?” she suggested with a grin of her own. “If I recall the gossip columns correctly, it is as yet undecided whether you are sharing your bed with the Spirit of Chaos, or your legal advisor.”
Both of us spewed out our tea at that.
“What?!” I exclaimed in horror.
Using her magic, Luna levitated a copy of the local rag over to the both of us, opened to the society pages. There was indeed an article speculating that, with the princess’ impending retirement, they may now seek out a suitor. And for whatever reason, the race was down to Discord and me. Curiously, Luna’s relationship with Stygian was unmentioned. Now, don’t get me wrong, Discord does have a sort of on again off again thing with Celestia. But I know for a fact he’s in love with Fluttershy. His teasing and flirting is more just a way to ruffle the usually unflappable Tia’s feather. Me on the other hand...well, I wasn’t sure what to make of that. I just hoped to high heaven Margaret hadn’t seen it. She’d never let me live it down. Celestia and I were close sure, I certainly was proud to count myself amongst her closest friends, but lovers? Seriously? Aside from the fact that I was married with two kids, it seemed way off. But it was too late now, published as it was, it would be all over the court rumour mill before long. For the next couple weeks, I would just have to grin and bear it, and keep my visits to court as brief as possible. Celestia, in contrast, found it very amusing.
“My my,” she said, reading the article over. “This is an interesting development. I never knew you saw me in such a light, my dear advisor.”
“Tia!” I blurted hotly “You’ve got to do something about this!”
Come now, Roger,” the white alicorn said. “You should know by now that the worst thing you can do with a rumour is attempt to debunk it. Denial just pours fuel on the fire. Besides, there are worse things to have written about you than saying you’re bedding a princess. After all, Luna and I are considered the two most sought after single mares in all Equestria.”
I couldn’t help but smile as Celestia shot me a flirty wink. This was the part of Celestia that so few ponies got to see. Underneath that maternal princess mask was a fun loving prankster who adored the long con. And of course, there was a purpose behind her little game to.
“If nothing else, this little bit of nonsense should help to conceal the unpleasantness that is about to befall my nephew.”
Ah yes, Prince Blueblood. A more disliked pony I’ve never met. For years, since he was a young colt, Celestia had coddled him and done all she could to shield him from the results of his...shall we say indiscretions. Be that insulting a noble or foreign dignitary, making an off colour remark about the Griffons, in front of them, or possibly making a painfully awkward pass at the Element of Generosity after snubbing her so coldly before.
Celestia had now run out of patience with him, and at my and Luna’s urgings, had finally admitted that it was time he faced the consequences of his actions. Later today, Prince Blueblood would go before the princesses and their advisors, who would vote on whether or not to strike his name from the Civil List. This was the annual grant from Celestia’s coffers for the upkeep of the Crown, and also paid out to its various servants for their upkeep. I’m on it and draw my salary, as well as my travel expenses from the grant. All of Blueblood’s money, more or less, came from that grant too. So his unceremonious removal would mean he would lose all his funds. Celestia did not plan to make this permanent, just a month or so, enough to teach him a proper lesson. Not that she was going to tell him that, of course. As far as he was concerned, he was about to lose everything. I would find myself master of ceremonies later today, and the initial polls did not look good for the most hated royal in Equestria. After all, while you might need at least two thirds of the nobles to vote in favour of the motion, I had no doubt that he’d pissed at least that many off over the years.
“And it serves him right too!” Luna declared as I made my own move to Temple, playing for time. “Perhaps a good few moons or so living as naught but a pauper will teach that impudent wretch some manners. If not, I shall be glad to strip him of his title, and hang the consequences.”
“I have to agree with you there, Luna,” I admitted. “But with any luck, Celestia’s stick should bring him around. If that filly Diamond Tiara my wife was always moaning about can be reformed, I see no reason why that little upstart can’t be.”
Celestia was about to reply, when there was a knock at the door. Typically, it was standard protocol that the two sisters be left undisturbed during their meals, unless the matter was urgent. And I knew that Corporal Gleaming Shield, who was presently standing guard outside, was not a mare to bother her princesses without good cause. Celestia set down her teacup and cleared her throat.
“Come in!” she called.
The doorknob turned and the young guardspony appeared in the open doorway. She was dressed in the usual golden armour of the Royal Guard, with a turquoise star emblazoned in the centre of the chest piece. As a pegasus, her coat had been turned white and her mane blue. Celestia was actually beginning to phase out the use of the spell that temporarily changed her guards’ coat and mane colour, and it was now becoming more common to see guards in their usual colours, but still dressed in their armour.
“Forgive the intrusion, Princess,” she said in a somewhat deep voice that indicated her impressive physical strength and somewhat above average size for a mare. “But I have Chancellor Neighsay out here. He wants to speak with Mr. Owen.”
Well, that was interesting, wasn’t it? Neighsay and I have been political enemies at best ever since our paths first crossed. He’s been among a small minority of ponies who never fully accepted my position in Celestia’s court and had done more than enough to draw my ire over this past year. After all, I even had him arrested not so long ago.
Turning to Celestia, the two of us exchanged a look. Given what had happened with Cozy, I wagered that there was a good chance that Neighsay was not here to cause trouble. And if nothing else, it never hurt to follow the old 76th Rule of Acquisition; ‘Every once in a while, declare peace; it confuses the hell out of your enemies’.
You’d be surprised how much of my job involves reference to the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. I even lent Flim and Flam a copy.
“Did he say what he wanted?” I asked the guard. Gleaming Shield shook her head.
“No sir,” she replied. “He only said that he wanted to talk to you in private.” I nodded and turned to Celestia.
“Well, in that case, if you’ll excuse me, princesses.” I got to my feet. “It seems I shall have to forfeit this game under the Nairobi Rule. Luna, since you’re in the lead, you get my tickets and Celestia gets my sixpence. I’ll drop by when I’m finished to let you know how things went.”
With that, I followed Gleaming out of the room.
The guardspony led me away from Celestia’s private dining room, back into the main body of the castle. We passed the way leading up to Luna’s tower as well as the corridor leading to the archives and the old vault where the Elements of Harmony were once stored. Walking along one of the main thoroughfares, we passed several stained glass windows, showing various important historical events, from the defeat of Discord to the more recent ‘death’ of Sombra and the Storm King. There was a whole lot of history up there, and I found myself feeling a touch nostalgic as I contemplated the idea that another chapter in Equestria’s history was about to come to an end, and a new one was about to begin. Twilight was already coming to the castle fairly frequently to undergo lessons with both princesses on her various new duties. Although ,as Bones put it; ‘if Cadence can hack it, so can Twilight’.
Rounding the corner and coming to my office, I set thoughts about the future to one side and returned my focus to the present.
“I asked him to wait in your office, Mr. Owen,” she said as we came to the door. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“No, not at all, Gleaming Shield,” I replied. “Although I am contemplating about asking the princesses to give me a waiting room. I seem to be getting more and more ponies dropping in wanting to see me of late.”
Dismissing the young mare, I turned the knob and stepped into my office.
I’d left the window open to air the place out a little. I’d had a visit from old Fancy Pants earlier in the morning, and while he is a good friend, I can’t abide that damned pipe he smokes. I’ve never really cared for the smell of strong tobacco. Then again, given my old clientele, it was something of a step up. My old office used to stink of weed half the time. Still, I liked to keep my current office in good condition.
In addition to letting the smoke smell out though, it had also let a certain friend in. Perching on Neighsay’s back, regarding him curiously, was Philomena, Celestia’s pet phoenix. The ancient, immortal firebird was regarding the gaunt faced stallion curiously, evidently not quite sure what to make of her new perch. Conversely…
“You know,” I said as I walked in and closed the door behind me. “Philomena only ever perches on ponies she considers a friend. She won’t come within a mile of Discord or Prince Blueblood.”
Neighsay didn’t respond, instead simply being content to stroke the soft down on the phoenix’s chest. Philomena chirped in approval, making him smile. I meanwhile circled around and took my seat behind my desk.
“So, Chancellor,” I said, clasping my hands together and resting them on the desk. “What brings you to me this fine day?”
Neighsay took a seat, looking somewhat uncomfortable as Philomena hopped off his back and perched on the back of the chair next to him. He had a hard time looking me in the eye. Understandable really.
“I’m here to apologise,” he replied after a moment. “Over the course of the past few months, I’ve been more than unkind to you, Mr. Owen. I’ve repeatedly mocked and insulted you in front of the princesses, attempted to undercut your authority, caused at least one diplomatic incident, and even put your wife’s vocation at risk.”
“But now you’ve seen the error of your ways?” I suggested. “And wish to make up for all of that?” Neighsay nodded.
“It may have taken Equestria nearly being brought to ruin,” he admitted. “But I now see that I was wrong in my mistrust of other species, including yourself. So I’ve come here to apologise and ask your forgiveness.”
Now, this was, while not unexpected, a brilliant turn of events. The conflict between the Crown and the EEA had been the only real long term issue on my radar these past months. Of course, there were other things, such as Chrysalis, Sombra, and this whole new threat in Grogar, but they were all ultimately things for Twilight to fix. Neighsay however, had been my problem; the feud had been between him and me rather than between the Crown and the association he represented. It was good to know that I would finally be able to bury the hatchet.
In the spirit of this new found glasnost, I decided to do Neighsay a bit of a kindness. Credit where credit is due; it took guts to come up here and admit he was wrong, regardless of what else I might think.
“I do not accept your apology,” I said firmly.
Neighsay seemed a little disheartened, but did not seem surprised at my reaction. His face fell, but didn’t show any anger or annoyance as his old, more arrogant self, might have done. The whole experience with the school certainly seemed to have made him humbler. I’d say he even came here expecting that sort of reaction.
“I understand,” he said simply as he prepared to get to his hooves and leave.
“No, you don’t,” I replied, catching him off guard and prompting him to take his seat again. “I do not accept your apology, because you are not the same stallion that I met when Twilight first opened her school. So you have nothing to apologise for.”
I smiled and Neighsay smiled back as the two of of us shook hand and hoof. We now fell into a more comfortable, easy going conversation.
“I honestly expected you to tell me to get out, or even refuse to see me,” Neighsay said.
“Oh, I’ve been involved in too many conflicts over the years,” I replied. “I’m always happy to see reconciliation, particularly when the two parties ought to be on the same side to begin with.”
Whatever else you might say, I never took issue with the EEA as a concept. Independent oversight is a vital part of the education system, indeed of government. It’s why we have two rulers, each one balancing the other’s authority. I only ever had a problem with Neighsay as a pony, not Neighsay as the Chancellor of the EEA. After all, prior to the recent unpleasantness, the organisation had worked well to keep Equestria’s schools all working at the same standard. It was only Neighsay’s personal beliefs that undermined the organisation and saw it take such a hit to its credibility.
“So what do you plan to do now, Chancellor?” I asked curiously. “As I understood it, you had put your own head on the chopping block not so long ago.”
“I was ashamed,” Neighsay replied. “Ashamed of my actions and the disgrace I’d brought on to the organisation I represent. I thought it best that the EEA get a fresh start.”
“And yet as I understand it,” I countered. “The committee voted to retain your services.” Neighsay nodded.
“I still have no idea why,” he said. “To be honest, I’ve been considering resigning from my post. A little less brash the offering myself up as a sacrificial lamb, but still most likely for the best as far as the association is concerned.” I frowned.
“I don’t think that would be the case,” I countered. “Whatever else ponies might say about you, you are a fine administrator, and your resignation would have a profound impact on an already struggling organisation.” Neighsay looked surprised.
“A curious thing to hear from one of my most severe critics.” I shook my head.
“I was critical of your views and dogma,” I replied. “I never took issue with your work. While it gives me no pleasure to say it, there was some truth in what you said. Equestria had left itself exposed and vulnerable. In fact, in the aftermath, I found myself criticising the princesses for just blocking off the way to the south, never mind keeping silent about the Hippogriffs. The attack on Canterlot should never have happened. Where you were wrong was the cause. All too often our foes have been our kin, rather than invading foreigners, a fact I believe you have recently become acutely aware of.”
“Very true,” Neighsay said with a smile. “So you think I should look to retain my position then?”
“I do,” I said. “One of the things I admire the most about ponies is their ability to let go of the past, and of old grudges. If humans shared the same quality, our own history would no doubt make for much more palatable reading. You were wrong in your beliefs, but you were able to see, and admit, that you were wrong. You’d be amazed how many teachers are incapable of that.”
The two of us spent the next half hour or so talking, and properly burying the hatchet when it came to our previous relationship. Neighsay apologised for threatening Margaret’s job, and I apologised for that stunt I pulled in court, blasting ‘I Fought The Law’ over a phonograph. Admittedly, in hindsight, as Celestia’s advisor, regardless of my feelings towards Neighsay, I should have taken the moral high road and not stooped to equally petty acts.
The repairing of relations also gave us a chance to discuss Neighsay’s future. He would indeed be continuing in his post as Chancellor, but now with a very different set of policies. We had been talking about how the official EEA guidelines had had a negative impact on Twilight’s school when they were strictly enforced. As such, Neighsay committed himself to examining the School of Friendship and using it as a model for a revised version of the EEA’s guidelines, which had been unchanged for over a century, so an overhaul was certainly overdue. He admitted that both he and the organisation as a whole had grown distant from actual teaching, instead doling out arbitrary advice based more on their own beliefs than actual experience.
Of course, these changes would not take place overnight. Just as the handover of power from the Two Sisters to Twilight would take several months, Neighsay expected it would take at least that long to begin implementing reforms within the EEA; given the organisations staunchly traditionalist mindset.
Still, it was a step in the right direction. And that was more than enough for me. Neighsay later went on to not only make a public apology for his previous actions, but also founded a new organisation; the NAARH; the National Association for the Advancement of Racial Harmony. This new organisation, which was quick to gain its own royal charter, was founded as part watchdog and part educator. Neighsay, from his own experience, knew that racist attitudes arose from ignorance more often than malice. Ponies, as I’ve already said, are quite sheltered creatures, and can be naturally xenophobic at times. Just look at Zecora and her rocky introduction to Ponyville. He sought to use his skills as an educator to teach ponies young and old about other species; to bust myths and rumours, and educate the public about other races and cultures. And at the same time, the organisation would stand as a bulwark against racist ideology, challenging it and helping to protect anycreature from unlawful discrimination. The new body quickly prospered, with Neighsay himself giving lectures all over Equestria, from San Fransiscolt to Fillydelphia, and from Vanhoover to Appleloosa. In time he would restore not only his own reputation, but also the reputation of the EEA, which had been so badly tarnished in the previous year.
The two of us remain on good terms with one another. We even laugh and joke about our previous sparring matches. Neighsay is a fine debater and skilled teacher, and with the creation of his new organisation, it wasn’t too long before he was once again welcome at court.
Still, while I may have reconciled with one nemesis, there was another, far less threatening that still needed my attention. After sharing a pot of tea with Neighsay and breaking bread as it were, I was compelled to take my leave in order to see Prince Blueblood finally get what was coming to him.
I’ve made no secret of my absolute disgust towards Prince Blueblood. For one thing, I have a damn hard time calling him prince. Technically, he is the Prince of Canterlot and head of the nobility. Back when Celestia and Luna ruled from their isolated castle, deep within the Everfree Forest, the position was created in order to have a spokesperson to represent the nobility. Even back then, Canterlot was the home of most nobles, many having grown rich from the now long forgotten mining industry. In the grand scheme of things, the Prince of Canterlot has very little real power, more so since the royal throne was moved to the city. In contrast to, say, Shining Armor, who also holds the title of prince (prince consort if you want to be picky), Blueblood has very little political power, being little more than a figurehead, although terrifyingly, he is seventh in the line of succession, after Flurry Heart. There are even times when I, acting on Celestia’s behalf, can overrule him, which I must confess, I love to do as often as possible.
Still, the position itself is not the issue. There have been many Princes of Canterlot, going a fair way back in Blueblood’s family tree, remember the position is an inherited one, for almost as long as Celestia has ruled Equestria. The problem was Blueblood himself. In the absence of any children of her own, Celestia made the fatal mistake of spoiling Blueblood rotten as a colt, and by Jove does it show in adulthood. Since his position requires him to do very little, he’s developed into something of a trust fund brat, who occasionally has to be convinced, or more likely forced, to take part in state functions. And over the years, he’s made more than his fair share of enemies, although for quite some time he was considered something of an eligible bachelor, at least until word of his abrasive personality got out. Rarity in particular got her hooves burnt on that one.
Consequently, he’s caused more than a few incidents down the years. At first it was just an annoyance for Celestia, an odd wrinkle to smooth over. But as time’s gone by, he’s gotten worse, much worse, to the point where I’ve had to step in to bail him out on more than a handful of occasions. Naturally, Celestia, the maternal mare that she is, did her utmost to overlook these indiscretions, but when the nobles started complaining, and when he gets himself involved in that whole xenophobia hysteria, she finally ran out of patience, and listened to Luna and I.
So today, Blueblood would go before Canterlot’s city council, the ruling body that runs the city, whereas Celestia herself governs the nation as a whole. They could not remove him, only Celestia could do that, and she couldn’t bring herself to tarnish the memory of his family. However, they could do what Celestia had suggested, and raised a motion to strike him from the Civil List.
As the man in charge of all legal matters in Equestria, including a few parts of the upcoming transition of power actually; I helped Twilight properly bequeath the School of Friendship to Starlight Glimmer, despite my personal objections, I would take part in the process. I was there to act on Celestia’s behalf and ensure that the voting was fair and proper. After all, while Blueblood was thoroughly hated in Canterlot, he still had money to throw around, and could quite easily have...shall we say ‘influenced’ some of the members. As such, I would be the one counting the votes. It’s not unusual, I’ve taken part in Canterlot city council meeting plenty of times, as well as a few more local functions in Ponyville at Town Hall.
The meeting chamber, rather paradoxically, was within Canterlot castle itself. There’s a good deal of overlap between the city and state governments, with the former occasionally borrowing living space from the latter. Pushing open the large mahogany double doors, I found my way into what looked like a scaled down version of the Commons. Several rows on plush chairs on either side, with the princess’ seat, my seat for today at least, in between the two sets on benches.
As I said, I’d be conducting business today. Normally, it would be Celestia who would chair the meetings, but as this issue raised a conflict of interest, she had stepped aside and asked me to stand in. Blueblood, as head of the nobility was also there, and glared daggers at me as I walked in. As with Neighsay, there’s no love lost between the two of us. To be frank, I’d like nothing more than to see him stripped of his title as Luna suggested.
Taking my seat, all the other members sat down. There were a total of fifty members of the nobility present, including Blueblood. The motion had already been raised and debated in a previous session, so it was now just a matter of voting. I cleared my throat and put on my best Bercow impression.
“The Question is that His Royal Highness Prince Blueblood of Canterlot be struck from the Civil List. As many as that are of that opinion, say Aye.”
“Aye!” came a loud cheer from at least half the members. Blueblood looked gutted. Still, it was not a clear majority, so I couldn’t close the book just yet.
“Of the contrary, No.”
“No!” came a surprising number of voices. Blueblood seemed to have more friends than I expected. Still, I was fairly confident things were in our favour. But I must follow process.
“Division! Clear the lobbies!” I called. Since I couldn’t be sure by simply how many shouted who won the vote, we’d now make sure all members were present and try again, and then if needed, do a headcount.
A bell rang out, summoning any members that might not be in the chamber, while the Royal Guard made sure than there was now no one except members of the nobility entitled to vote outside in the lobby. Two minutes later, I tried the vote again.
“Again, the Question is that His Royal Highness Prince Blueblood of Canterlot be struck from the Civil List.”
Again though, there was not a clear majority, and everypony able to vote was now here. So the division continued. All the members would now leave the chamber and renter by one of two side doors, one to vote yes, and one for no. The two sides then gathered on each side of the chamber. A short while later and all members had cast their vote, except Blueblood of course, who was compelled to abstain.
In the end, the result was, while not unexpected, surprisingly close. I suppose no matter how much you dislike somepony, if they have enough money and connections… Anyway, the last thing to do was declare the result. Once again, I dipped into my best impression of Bercow. I stuck out one arm and gestured to the much larger group on the right.
“Ayes to the right, thirty six,” I declared, before turning to the left. “Nos to the left, thirteen.”
The cheering already started before I even had a chance to finish.
“The Ayes have it! The Ayes have it!”
And with that, Blueblood was suddenly broke.
Unsurprisingly, the prince was quickly in my office after the motion was passed. I barely had time to sit down and start reading through the docket for tomorrow when I heard and angry cry from Buttercup and Blueblood pushed his way into my office. Buttercup quickly followed, apologising for letting him get past.
“If you obstruct me any further, I’ll have your job!” Blueblood said to the irritated guardsman.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Owen,” Buttercup said. “This...pony, pushed his way past before I could stop him.”
“That’s quite alright, Buttercup,” I replied reassuringly. “It’s not your job to stop bankrupt princes.”
That, unsurprisingly, really got under Blueblood’s skin.
“I demand that you overturn that farce of a vote this instant!” he demanded in a tone that was filled with righteous indignation. Smiling, I leaned back in my chair, while Buttercup lingered at the threshold.
“And why, your highness, should I do a thing like that? The vote was fair and impartial, you saw the votes counted yourself. I may be the legal advisor to the princesses, but even I cannot overturn a decision by the city council without cause.”
“Cause?” Blueblood exclaimed. “They’re robbing me of my bank account! I have barely two thousand bits in savings, that won’t even cover me for this month.”
“Unfortunately, that isn’t my problem,” I replied evenly. “The council, and the princesses, have every right to remove you from the list.”
Blueblood really did look worried now, the notion that his playboy lifestyle was over was really starting to hit home. I just hoped that the lesson would stick in a month’s time. It certainly didn’t seem to be sticking at the moment though, as the young prince now threw a modest sized bag of coins onto my desk. I looked in mild surprise. Buttercup meanwhile looked appalled. I got to my feet.
“What is that?” I asked, pointing to the bag.
“Just overturn the damn vote,” Blueblood persisted. Buttercup and I made eye contact for a moment, with him nodding in understanding at me.
“You know, Blueblood,” I said serenely. “In Roman times, when a fellow was convicted of trying to bribe a public official, they would cut off his nose, sew him in a bag with a wild animal and throw that bag in the river.”
With a snarl, I hurled the bag back at him, and after hitting him in the chest, it clattered onto the floor. Blueblood looked up, utterly at a loss. I pointed out the obvious for him.
“This is the part where you leave,” I said condescendingly.
And with that, Blueblood scurried out of my office.
Proofread by Sweetolebob18.
So, a little deviation from the episodes this time. It's such a shame we never got to see more of Neighsay. Still, it's always fun to give Blueblood a good kicking. And for those of you unfamiliar with the former Speaker of the House of Commons, allow me to introduce Mr. John Bercow:
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Blueblood got a right good dose of Andrews Salts?
Personally I never inderstood why people have always hated Blueblood in the show from his first appearance, giving him his fanon personality.
You mean lie to his face, and use magic to influence him? Because I don't think that woukd work on the draconeauus, he's more likely to respond with something ironicly funny and cruel. Or just plain strange, such as inflicting an unending hunger for potatoes.
9966544
I agree with you about Blueblood, especially since the comics show him to be a successfull diplomat which can make for a more interesting read.
9966544
9967387 I kinda have to agree with you both too. Apart from being a dick to Rarity once, he's no worse than your typical Canterlot noble. If I could go and do over this whole series again from scratch, there's a lot of things I would change, and that includes Blueblood's character. Still, I do plan to have this reform him in the long run.
Listing off the foes I can remember over the seasons, both villains and antagonists alike, we have Nightmare Moon, Gilda, Trixie, Ursa Minor, Mountain Dragon, The Ponyvillians, Parasprites, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, Diamond Dogs, Cave dragon, Blueblood, Discord, Twilight Sparkle, Spike, Flim & Flam, Teenage dragons, Fluttershy, Diamond Tiara again, Gabby Gums, Chrysalis and the Changelings, King Sombra, Pinkie clones, Babs Seed, Trixie again Lightning Dust, Discord again, Discord once more, Ahuizotl, Garble, The Maniac, Suri Polomare, Discord (again), Tatzlwurm, Seabreeze, Flim & Flam again, Tirek, Starlight Glimmer, The Bugbear, The Mane 6, Moondancer, The Tantabus, Sassy Saddles, Wind Rider, Spoiled Rich, Discord (Yet again), Starlight Glimmer again, Trixie and Twilight Sparkle, Doctor Cabillaron, Chrysalis again, The Pony of Shadows, Tempest Shadow, The Storm King and his minions, Chancellor Neighsay, Flim & Flam once more, Cozy Glow, King Sombra, Garble again Tirek, Cozy Glow, and Chrysalis, Tirek, Cozy Glow, and Chrysalis again, The Wendigos, and Tirek, Cozy Glow, and Chrysalis one final time.
That puts the final tally at 41 separate instances of pony offenders and 33 non-pony offenders. Considering that's 74 different instances of antagonistic actions that I can recall, that means ponies were antagonistic 55% of the time while non-ponies were antagonistic 45% of the time. That's very close to a 50-50 split between pony and non-pony antagonizers, which while it doesn't fully disprove the father's point, it does prove that more conflicts were caused by foreign entities that I'm sure the solicitor would like to admit.