Voidic and The Chamber of Secrets

by lightningman

Chapter 7 - Godawful Gilderoy

The next day, I woke up and stretched, my back cracking as it readjusted to standing from the amazing sleep I just had. I went down to the great hall and noticed a sleep deprived Arthur and Molly Weasley sitting at the Gryffindor table while ginny was sitting on the stool from last night with the sorting hat over her head.
"Gryffindor!" It called out and the few people that were awake at this time clapped exhaustedly for her as almost none of them were fully awake at the time. Ginny pulled the sorting hat off her head and walked down to her parents, hugged them and sat down. So no howler is going to happen here. That's good, that's great actually, I don't wanna have to deal with one of those at this time. I was hungry. I went to the staff table and began eating some English muffins and some bacon. I mentally went over what was going to happen the rest of the day and my own plans for the first years and the rest of my students.

Soon enough, I had finished devouring my food and had noticed that harry, ron and hermione were waiting for me by the great hall doors for herbology. I had barely noticed that I had eaten so much. Odd. Anyway, I got up from my mist chair and walked over to them. Soon we were at the greenhouses and noticed that most of the class was already there staring at Professor Sprout getting ready to tear Gilderoy Lockhart a new one. She had several white things in her arms. Wait, bandages? I quickly looked at the Whomping Willow, and sure enough, there was the Whomping Willow, with a bunch of it's limbs in slings. Huh, Arthur and Molly must have ran out of floo powder and didn't want to risk apparition, so they must have gotten into the accident that ron and harry got into in the original timeline...…

I don't know about you, but I find that fricking hilarious.

I chuckled to myself and went up to Gilderoy and Pomona. "Hey! Gilderoy!" Everyone looked at me eagerly to see what I would do. Gilderoy turned.

"AH! Mr. Voidic! I must say, meeting you in that bookstore was rather fun. And like I predicted, the next two days were us on the front cover. The first one of course being on me. But the second day was about you and harry! I must say though, the article did not paint you in quite a good light, no it did not. It implied you had an inappropriate relationship with young harry."

"And I care what the media says because?" I said bored at him.

"Why, my dear voidic! The media controls everything about a person's public appearance!"

"I still don't care, now if you'll excuse all of us, and stop bothering our teacher, who I wouldn't mind if she wanted to send a few spells your direction at the moment, we have a class to attend to, if you do not leave right now, I'm afraid that you will find the alternative both creative and very very painful. By the way, did you know that the rectum can stretch up to eight inch diameter and that the common squirrel can fit through a 6 inch diameter hole?" Gilderoy rapidly paled and quickly trotted away and I got a standing ovation.

I chuckled and Pomona sent all of us to Greenhouse Three.

"We'll be repotting mandrakes today, can anybody tell me what the properties of a mandrake are?" Hermione immediately raised her hand.

"Mandrake, or mandragora, is a powerful restorative, It is used to return someone who have been transfigured or cursed to their original state."

"Precisely! ten points to Gryffindor, but, while mandrakes are also an essential part to most antidotes, can anybody tell me why they are dangerous?" This time I raised my hand.

"It's because their crying can be fatal when they are fully grown, but only knock a person out for four or five hours when immature. Which a good way to defend oneself nonlethally unless the opponent has a source of sound protection and can get it up in time." Everyone blinked.

"Um, Yes! take another ten points to all houses, including another three for a good idea, if unconventional. And like voidic said, these are only immature mandrakes, so they won't kill yet, but they will knock you out for four to five hours, and I doubt any of you want to miss your first day of school. Especially since Voidic's first class of the year is at the end of the day for all of you." Everyone cheered excitedly and Pomona smiled a bit at me. I smiled back, a bit surprised that I had just gotten this news now. "Everyone grab a pair of earmuffs and make sure your ears are completely covered , when I give the thumbs up, that's when it's safe to take off your earmuffs. Voidic, you have some sound mufflers in that mask of yours?"

"I think so, hold on." I pulled it off and and put my hood over my head as I scanned the runes inscribed on the inside of it. I nodded and put it on. "Yeah, lightningman thought of this already. I just have to tap my right ear and all sound will immediately cut out."

"Good, then everybody get ready." Everyone put on their earmuffs and I cut off all of the sound. It was odd to say the least to not have sound. But I was glad for it as Pomona grabbed a bunch of leaves and yanked them out of the pot. Immediately, I felt the runes near my ears heat up, just slightly. Seems if the sound is loud enough, the runes could get overloaded. Good to know. Pomona quickly stuffed it into a larger pot and covered it up with dirt before giving the thumbs up. I tapped my helmet again and the sound returned.

"That is what you will be doing today. Make sure your earmuffs are securely in place before starting, I will get your attention when it is time to pack up." With that, we continued with the lesson until finally we left for transfiguration. I had given Ron his new wand and had told him what I needed to do. Ron seemed to understand, so he gave me his old wand and I snapped it and repaired it with spellotape like in the book. Ron managed great work with his new wand and smiled as he managed two perfect coat buttons, but some were off a bit. At least that's better than the original timeline, where nothing but grey smoke like rotten eggs came out. Soon we were going to defence against the dark arts. A class, even though it was going to be horrible be everybody's standards, I was looking forward to, you wanna know why? Because I hate Gilderoy. And I wanted to screw with his class. But soon, harry stopped and looked at Colin Creevy. My heart stopped as I knew for a fact that he was going to die at the Battle for Hogwarts. No, he WAS going to die at the Battle for Hogwarts. He isn't going to in this timeline, not if I have anything to say about it.

"Hi, um, My name is Colin Creevey, and I'm wondering if you, harry and Voidic could stand for a picture for me?" I bent down and whispered in harry's ear.

"Just do it, it'll get him off our backs and besides, he's a great kid, he's pretty damn loyal and brave." Harry sighed a bit and nodded as he stood up. "Hey, Colin, you wanna be in the picture too?" Colin looked surprised and quickly nodded. "Ok. Tell me when your going to take the picture."

"In 3...2...1... Now." I immediately paused time on the camera as it started and I pulled colin's hands out of the freeze time bubble. He stood beside us as I put the camera on a void pedestal. I ended paused time and it flashed as it got all of us. "Thanks!" Colin smiled and I thought he would die of joy right there. He quickly went back to his camera and looked at the picture, smiling the whole time. "Hey, one more favour. Um, if it's not too much trouble. I was wondering, once it's developed, could you two sign it? See, my dad's a milk man and I wanted to show him Hogwarts and how great it is, as well as my younger brother Dennis."

"Um... sure." Harry smiled a little bit. "Once it's developed, we'll sign it for you."

"Sign what? What's going on?" I heard Draco ask as he came up behind us. Colin's smile fell a little.

"Hey Draco. This is Colin, he wanted a photo of me and voidic for his dad and brother." Draco nodded understanding.

"Ah, ok. Makes sense. I was about to tease you about already letting the fame get to your head." Harry chuckled.

"Anyway, we have to get to class, see ya colin, draco, crabbe, goyle." we all left for the defence classroom.

Everyone was already there and I smiled as I quickly paused time on everything but myself and I got to work preparing the pranks. First, I replaced Neville's book of Travelling with Trolls with a book on suicide victims. Which, admittedly wouldn't be very good normally, but the picture was of a woman trying to get as far away from the person holding the book as possible, so I couldn't pass it up, so if the original timeline went as planned this would be great. I then replaced all of lockhart's quizzes with quizzes with trick questions that force all of the students to write that Gilderoy Lockhart is a Jackass. I then opened up the cage and took out all of the Cornish pixies and put them in glass tank in my room. I then put myself in the cage and put the cover on. I then unpaused time and waited.

"Wait, where's voidic?" Gilderoy sounded confused. "Oh well, I guess he'll have to be marked late or absent." Everyone was quiet as he picked up the book and everyone began laughing. Gilderoy looked at the book and blinked in surprise before muttering quickly to Neville sorry. Sorry, Neville, but I had too. Soon the tests were handed out and everyone took them and the laughter was even louder.

"What? WHAT!" Gilderoy yelled as he looked at the tests. Lockhart coughed.

"Alright, sorry about that class. But let us continue with class. Now it is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm." Everything was silent. "Behold! Freshly Caught...." The cover fell off and I began yelling and shaking the cage.

"EVERYONE! GET OUT OF HERE! HE'S A KIDNAPPER!!" Everyone screamed and quickly toppled off their chairs, a few of them even got to the door before they all realized they had been pranked. I began laughing so loudly and hardly that the students couldn't help but join in as they all realized what had happened. Lockhart's face was red from embarrassment. He quickly went to his office and shut the door. I got out the cage. "I guess that means we're dismissed for the day!" Everyone laughed and we all left that horrible excuse of a teacher's room.

"I don't think that was very nice Voidic!" Hermione began to try and lecture me.

"Oh, lay off hermione. Gilderoy is the worst possible teacher that could ever happen to any classroom anywhere. You'll be happy I did that in the future." I said and Hermione grumbled as we headed for an afternoon snack before my own class.

Author's Note:

Alright guys. I just chugged down an energy drink. My parents are upstairs. (They still don't know I'm a brony.) I'm determined to finish up at least one chapter. Hopefully you guys enjoyed it. Also, I decided to switch up Voidic's class schedule. The class he's in will always be on monday after school, until seventh year in which case seventh year will be monday, sixth year will be tuesday, fifth year wednesday, fourth year thursday, third year friday, second year saturday, and first year sunday. This is by far the best for everybody as it scales with the amount of work that each grade already has. seventh years will be glad that that their class is on monday as they need the rest of that week for homework and first years will be happy to have that since they'll have something to look forward to. I hope you guys get what I'm saying. Also, I made up the sound mufflers up on the fly that are on voidic's helmet, but it seems like a really good addition. It would be great if voidic ever has to shoot a gun.