grammar errors said a million times. try writing every genre of story to help improve and also try writing one with a long story line, not sure how far your taking this.
Like a few others before me there are grammatical errors everywhere. I have trouble reading it due to these errors and would like notice if this changes so I can read it and maintain my train of thought. I'll keep an eye on this but reserve my opinion for now. Don't get me wrong, with some general editing this would be pretty good.
add more suspense, describe his thoughts when he sees the light, dont have him just follow it. Example: I noticed a small faint glow coming from the crack under my door. I opened the door, wondering where the light was coming from. Its glow was coming from downstairs, the kitchen probably. Weird, I remember shutting the lights off...
Ok well I didn't say this earlier but I really like this....but I have to agree sadly that there are SOME errors. Don't worry same thing happened to me and is still happeneing. Just needs preactice. Plus your doing good for your first fic compared to me so yeah. Watch and favorite my friend and if you want an editor for YOUR work I think I have a few people I can reccomend for you. Just ask and i'll see what I can do.
Well... I like the story for what it is, it's just difficult to read in places, because of really two or three things (just repeated over and over). Wrong words (there/their, were/where), some spelling, and missing spaces. It's good and would probably be more popular if those mistakes were fixed. If you need help with that, i'm sure that there's plenty of people offering, including myself.
Ok, a couple of things. 1st: is the guy a human or a pony? The name sounds like it should be a ponies name, but he seems to know that Luna is a Princess without being told. 2nd, you need more detail. 3rd, grammer! But, other than that its ok for now.
Fucking shit, i just used this exact picture that you have on a cover for a different website like one minute ago! WTF?
Ugh tiny things. Tiny grammatical errors disturb me. WHY DO THE TINY THINGS ALWAYS DISTURB ME.
1311605 youpay attention to detail to much maybe
Story line was very rushed and there were lots of grammatical errors. Consider maybe getting an editor? There are many on this site, including me.
1311673 i ree-read it and noticed spaces were missing also good luck coping with THAT i didnt even notice anything wrong at first
grammar errors said a million times. try writing every genre of story to help improve and also try writing one with a long story line, not sure how far your taking this.
Like a few others before me there are grammatical errors everywhere. I have trouble reading it due to these errors and would like notice if this changes so I can read it and maintain my train of thought. I'll keep an eye on this but reserve my opinion for now. Don't get me wrong, with some general editing this would be pretty good.
Thanks for all the feedback I'll make sure to get an editor to
Thanks for all the likes and favorites
add more suspense, describe his thoughts when he sees the light, dont have him just follow it.
Example: I noticed a small faint glow coming from the crack under my door. I opened the door, wondering where the light was coming from. Its glow was coming from downstairs, the kitchen probably. Weird, I remember shutting the lights off...
Ok well I didn't say this earlier but I really like this....but I have to agree sadly that there are SOME errors. Don't worry same thing happened to me and is still happeneing. Just needs preactice. Plus your doing good for your first fic compared to me so yeah. Watch and favorite my friend and if you want an editor for YOUR work I think I have a few people I can reccomend for you. Just ask and i'll see what I can do.
Well... I like the story for what it is, it's just difficult to read in places, because of really two or three things (just repeated over and over). Wrong words (there/their, were/where), some spelling, and missing spaces. It's good and would probably be more popular if those mistakes were fixed. If you need help with that, i'm sure that there's plenty of people offering, including myself.
Ok, a couple of things. 1st: is the guy a human or a pony? The name sounds like it should be a ponies name, but he seems to know that Luna is a Princess without being told. 2nd, you need more detail. 3rd, grammer! But, other than that its ok for now.