Ok, so can I approve of the progression this story has taken? Not really. This story was great in chapter 1 as it featured some pretty cool humor, but fell prey to easy, boring sappiness in its progression, especially in the last two chapters featuring happy-go-lucky cuddle fic bonding. This story needs to go back to more crude humor as it first appeared in the first chapter instead of being a giggly playground paradise. This fic seems to me to be turning into an OC/Luna ship fic pretty quick.
*Sees picture of skeleton. Skeleton=Death Metal *processing* *Idea reached*
SKELETONS!!! This story has Death Metal! I must read later. There had better be lots of booze and death metal in here!
1st chapter post read edit: Hmm, various comedic undertones done somewhat well. A misspelling or two...
Pending the fixing of spelling errors, the 1st chapter will be Soviet Approved.
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If you would point them out I will be happy to correct any errors I may have missed.
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Let me see....I think here.
Fix the word 'behind', fix the word 'que' to 'cue', and fix the word "aren't", and you should be set from what I see.
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Why Star Wars?
That image is beautiful...
I can't stop hearing him as skeletor
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/765/682/652.jpg
Ok, so can I approve of the progression this story has taken? Not really. This story was great in chapter 1 as it featured some pretty cool humor, but fell prey to easy, boring sappiness in its progression, especially in the last two chapters featuring happy-go-lucky cuddle fic bonding. This story needs to go back to more crude humor as it first appeared in the first chapter instead of being a giggly playground paradise. This fic seems to me to be turning into an OC/Luna ship fic pretty quick.
I have that meme in my folder already.
Lord of death is actually my Xbox gamer tag
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Not to worry, next chapter will be a surprising one I hope.
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I have an edgy name too. I had a wierd childhood.
HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
The ending picture made my day