The fights were good and Golden's character is nice. I liked the Dukes fighting style, but I have to admit that I'm a little disappointed that all of her opponents ended up being:
“She deserves better than your kind,” he snapped back, eying her main, “Your House couldn’t even stay pure, I see.”
He spat at Twilight’s hooves, and grunted as his face was forced back into the dirt.
“You-”Crunch.“Fucking-”Punch.“Cunt!”
Arrogant pricks. I thought the Duke would turn out differently from the rest, but the end scene turned him over. Makes it seem that all the other competitors besides her are pricks for the sake of being pricks.
And do not fret! There will be more duels in this fic!
I certainly hope so. You write good fights, theres no doubt about that. Character variety is just the thing thats lacking right now, with all competitors so far following a certain pattern of--- being smug at the beginning--- going full rage at the end.
I will wait and see how the story turns out. This has potential!
9257158 9257300 Thorn Buck is right. As of right now, they were all, as I worried, Hate Sinks to make Golden Dream look better in comparison. The unfortunate side-effect is that it becomes harder to care about the duels since she's pretty much fighting a single character type, not three individuals. As she's the only mare as well, it might send an unfortunate message regarding stallions and herds in this story in general. There are decent stallion characters, no doubt, but they're not romantic rivals for Golden Dream either.
Oh, you know what could be entertaining and even the playing field a little? Canterlot has a prince. Blueblood. He's a royal. If the Nobles (the bad ones, which is everyone but House Bolts it seems) can force Cadance and Shining Armor into this ridiculous mess of a tournament, they can do it with him too. In fact, I could see a terrified Blueblood come to Cadance to look for temporary asylum from his own tournament.
Would be oh so interesting to see what crazy mares he'd attract...
Addendum: You write fight scenes superbly, I should note. They're very engaging, very visceral. But as Thorn Buck said, it feels more like Golden going three rounds against the same character using different fighting styles. Then again, maybe the fight scenes are supposed to be the meat of the story, so to speak, and I simply overlooked it. It's not the first of your stories I've struggled with, something I noticed only after reading everything.
9258561 Thank you for the comments! I agree, her opponents were indeed Hate Sinks, but it won't be the last we see of them all. Especially the Duke and Lightning. We have special plans for them! This next chapter is going to be a longer one, it looks like, and of a much different feel than these fights.
BTW: Thank you- I worked hard to make the fights feel as real as possible, and I can't wait to do a few more as the story goes along.
9258710 Well, I'm really relieved. The tone I had adopted wasn't... as warm as it could've been. For you to be such a good sport about it is kinda awesome. Thank you.
9260465 It's no problem at all! I am certainly not the world's greatest writer, and I rely on my readers and (hopefully!) fans to let me know if I miss something.
Coming back to this fic after so much time, I forgot to note this back then: A longsword is actually a two-handed weapon. Seems strange to allow one duellist to effectively wield two and a half weapons! XD The normal one is commonly called an arming sword.
Though that's really only a thing dorks care for. Like me. >_>
All I can say to this... both the chapter and the fight therein.
Wow.
Just... wow.
Looks like Dash was right last chapter, though.
Dream won, and it was amazing!
And the story is only beginning?!
Awesome!
Can't wait for the next chapter to see what happens next!
Once again, a job very well done, my friend!
Finally!! Golden Dream kicked some serious ass!!
9256810 Indeed she did!
The fights were good and Golden's character is nice. I liked the Dukes fighting style, but I have to admit that I'm a little disappointed that all of her opponents ended up being:
Arrogant pricks. I thought the Duke would turn out differently from the rest, but the end scene turned him over. Makes it seem that all the other competitors besides her are pricks for the sake of being pricks.
9257158
White Knight lived up to his namesake, though that will show up more as time goes. And do not fret! There will be more duels in this fic!
9257300
I certainly hope so. You write good fights, theres no doubt about that. Character variety is just the thing thats lacking right now, with all competitors so far following a certain pattern of--- being smug at the beginning--- going full rage at the end.
I will wait and see how the story turns out. This has potential!
9257158
9257300
Thorn Buck is right. As of right now, they were all, as I worried, Hate Sinks to make Golden Dream look better in comparison. The unfortunate side-effect is that it becomes harder to care about the duels since she's pretty much fighting a single character type, not three individuals. As she's the only mare as well, it might send an unfortunate message regarding stallions and herds in this story in general. There are decent stallion characters, no doubt, but they're not romantic rivals for Golden Dream either.
Oh, you know what could be entertaining and even the playing field a little? Canterlot has a prince. Blueblood. He's a royal. If the Nobles (the bad ones, which is everyone but House Bolts it seems) can force Cadance and Shining Armor into this ridiculous mess of a tournament, they can do it with him too. In fact, I could see a terrified Blueblood come to Cadance to look for temporary asylum from his own tournament.
Would be oh so interesting to see what crazy mares he'd attract...
Addendum: You write fight scenes superbly, I should note. They're very engaging, very visceral. But as Thorn Buck said, it feels more like Golden going three rounds against the same character using different fighting styles. Then again, maybe the fight scenes are supposed to be the meat of the story, so to speak, and I simply overlooked it. It's not the first of your stories I've struggled with, something I noticed only after reading everything.
9258561
Thank you for the comments! I agree, her opponents were indeed Hate Sinks, but it won't be the last we see of them all. Especially the Duke and Lightning. We have special plans for them! This next chapter is going to be a longer one, it looks like, and of a much different feel than these fights.
BTW: Thank you- I worked hard to make the fights feel as real as possible, and I can't wait to do a few more as the story goes along.
9258710
Well, I'm really relieved. The tone I had adopted wasn't... as warm as it could've been. For you to be such a good sport about it is kinda awesome. Thank you.
9260465
It's no problem at all! I am certainly not the world's greatest writer, and I rely on my readers and (hopefully!) fans to let me know if I miss something.
Coming back to this fic after so much time, I forgot to note this back then: A longsword is actually a two-handed weapon. Seems strange to allow one duellist to effectively wield two and a half weapons! XD The normal one is commonly called an arming sword.
Though that's really only a thing dorks care for. Like me. >_>