Theory and Practice

by Snaproll

Burdens

As the course of the evening's festivities wore on, the ill thoughts Moondancer was harboring towards Fiddly Twang dwindled from hard, poisonous, serrated, and spiteful to merely flinty, acrid, and pointed, but no less spiteful. The two earth ponies clearly had too much history together for Moondancer's liking. They joked together about new additions to the town, laughed together over the trials of mutual acquaintances that were in a family way, and were finishing each other's sentences in a most alarming fashion. Indeed, it seemed to Moondancer that she had become a fifth wheel. As the trio made their way through Appleoosa, Moondancer couldn't help notice how Braeburn leaned in close to mutter something to Fiddly, who, for her part, erupted into peals of breathless laughter.

That said, Appleoosa in full swing of a five alarm, full throated Summer Sun Celebration was doing its very level best to lighten her spirits. True, the rustic frontier town didn't have the centuries of tradition, well rehearsed pageantry, or, certainly, the gravitas of even the traditional Canterlot iterations of the Summer Sun Celebrations that Moondancer was most used to. Instead, Appleoosa seemed to make up for its shortcomings with sheer, unadulterated Enthusiasm, with a Glorious absence of Sophistication that, Moondancer realized a half hour into the proceedings, had done little to contribute to the Celebration.

For starters, there was the entertainment. Every few paces, or so it seemed, stood a booth or a stall with games of skill, chance, or some combination thereof. At first blush, this seemed about par for the course to Moondancer, but what truly set them apart from the Canterlot celebrations was the attitude of the ponies and other beings running them. Back in Canterlot, the game attendants were fawningly obsequious, which was only fair considering the small pile of bits that one would have to hoof over to play.
By contrast, the Appleoosans cajoled, cadged, wheedled, and...Moondancer could only label it as Good Natured, Constructive Coercion. She discovered this to her dismay when they arrived at the first game: a hatchet throwing stall run by a good natured minotaur, assisted by a pegasus and a yak.

"Oh, no, I couldn't possibly..." Moondancer shook his head and tried to back out of the stall.

"NONSENSE!" Bellowed the minotaur in response, brandishing a double bitted throwing axe and coming dangerously close to taking off one of his yak assistant's horns. "TUNGSTEN CARL¹ KNOWS A NATURAL WHEN HE SEES ONE. STEP UP, SPECTACLED PONY, AND TEST YOUR SKILL!"
_{1: Second Cousin, once removed to another well known minotaur life coach, travel agent, and marriage counselor.}

Fiddly Twang rolled her eyes. "Relax, bully boy. She ain't never dealt with farm implements before in her life, never mind an axe. She don't have to if she don't want to."

While this was most certainly true, Moondancer was struck by a sudden, burning desire to start flinging bladed weaponry around with shockingly reckless abandon.

"No..." She turned and glared back at Tungsten Carl. "On second thought, I would like to throw hatchets."

"EXCELLENT!" The hefty minotaur gestured to a table where lay an array of hatchets. "PAY ATTENTION TO THE INSTRUCTIONS OF CIRRUS BREEZE AND TORVALD! AND THE WORST THROWER MUST PAY THE PRICE." Tungsten Carl grinned wickedly in the light of the streetlamps.

***🎯***

To Moondancer's utter amazement, she was remarkably good at axe throwing. Granted, this may have had something to do with how she imagined Fiddly Twang's head at the center of the bullseye, but Moondancer was certain that if she actually did try to give free rein to the violent urges she'd been feeling, the Appleoosan Legal System would want to have a long and unpleasant conversation with her. ² As it was, she'd managed to beat Braeburn by one point, which was why the earth pony stallion was standing on a hay bale in front of Tungsten Carl's stand before a crowd of excited onlookers.

_{2: Once he'd been extracted from the Dunk Tank he was running across the street, first.}

"AH'M A LITTLE TEAPOT, SHORT AN' STOUT!" Braeburn half sang, half shouted to be heard over the raucous crowd's jeering and catcalls. "HERE IS MY HANDLE..." The stallion hooked one of his forelegs out in front of him, but was overcome by laughter at his own predicament and the general merriment. As he took a deep breath to get himself under control, Fiddly Twang called out in a carrying yell "HE DON'T KNOW WHERE HIS SPOUT IS!" to uproarious laughter. Braeburn, for his part, blushed furiously and finished his song without any further interruptions. Moondancer, though, was thrust with a wild, insane idea to get up on the hay bale with him and give the stallion an object lesson on just where his spout was, and what he should be doing with it, but she decided that she wasn't quite desperate enough to resort to such...crude measures.

Though she was getting close. As the evening progressed, Moondancer tried every trick she had read or heard of to Sublty Let the Stallion Know She Liked Him: Laughing at anything Braeburn said that could pass as a joke, "Accidentally" brushing her flank up against his, and batting her eyes in what she hoped was a flirtatious manner, though she was afraid that Braeburn thought she must have developed a twitch with that last one.

"Ehh, Miss Moondancer, do you have somethin' in your eye? Ah could take a look, if you'd like." The stallion moved to stand before her, his green eyes peering intently into hers, an expression of polite concern across his rugged features. Moondancer could feel his breath on her face. Kiss him. KISS HIM, YOU FOOL! NOW'S YOUR CHANCE!

Instead, Moondancer found herself saying. "Oh...oh, ha hah...yes, fine! I just need to use the fillies room. Back in a minute!"

***🚽***

Well, look at it this way Moondancer thought to herself a short while later, her head inside the porcelain bowl and holding her mane out of the line of fire with her magic. If I had kissed him, it wouldn't have done to shower him with half-digested fried artichoke.
It hadn't quite been a lie that she needed to use the restroom. The butterflies in Moondancer's stomach had ganged up and demanded a release a short minute or two later. It was all she could do to get inside a mercifully unoccupied restroom stall before she engaged in the time honored practice of the Technicolor Yawn.

FInally, after the heaving subsided, Moondancer sat back on her haunches, and raised a hoof to her cheeks to wipe away the tears she found there. After reviewing the events of the last hour, she reached an inescapable conclusion.

I've blown it. I could have kissed him, just now. And now Fiddly Twang is going to use her folksy charm to cement whatever relationship she has, and...and...

Moondancer had always considered herself a well put together, self possessed mare. At least, in her own way. But the combined gut punch of Failure and the Inability to Correct Said Failure was too much, not to mention the chance of having a handsome and intelligent stallion slip through her hooves...which was something that Moondancer had never once considered she would ever be upset over. And, since all that was the case, she decided that she'd have a good and proper cry.

Which was why, when somepony knocked a hoof on the bathroom stall door, she nearly blasted it off its hinges with her magic. Deciding such things were beneath a scholar of her stature, she mustered up the last remnants of her dignity and spoke. "It's ocup-pied...could you p-please try another one?"

"Moondancer, could y'all come on outta there fer a minute? Ah'd like to talk to ya." Fiddly Twang's voice sounded genuinely concerned. That particular data point, however, was lost on Moondancer as the Despair and Hopelessness she was feeling suddenly converted themselves to Incandescent Anger and Righteous Fury.

Moondancer snorted. "What, did you come to gloat?"

"Gloat?" Fiddly's Concern, likewise, seemed to have transmuted itself to Bafflement. "What would Ah have to gloat about?"

"Hah!" Moondancer gave her best Derisive Laugh, which, according to her research, all Mares In Desperate Circumstances were allowed to do. "You and Braeburn! I hope the two of you have a nice life together! I wish you all the best!" She detected a note of Hysteria creeping into her voice, but she didn't really care.

Fiddly Twang's Bafflement had called Amused Derision in for reinforcements, as both were laced clearly through her next comment. "And just what do you mean by that?"

"Oh please. You were all over him tonight, talking close, joking-"

"Well, why wouldn't Ah talk with mah big brother like that?"

"And NOW you're gonna get-wait..." Moondancer's train of thought collided with something in Fiddly's last sentence and was abruptly derailed. Cautiously, she slid back the deadbolt to the stall she was in and peeked an eye around the corner. "What do you mean, 'Big Brother'?"

Fiddly Twang stood before her, her own stetson hat perched back on her blue mane, her expression radiating equal parts Concern and Amusement. "You know. When a mommy pony and a daddy pony love each other very much..."

Moondancer slammed her stall open all the way, her magical aura crackling around her horn and causing the hanging lanterns in the restroom to flicker. "Fiddly Twang, please. Is...is Braeburn..." Hope blossomed in her chest, a Hope so fragile and Nebulous that she scarcely dared to speak the rest of her sentence aloud.

Luckily for her, Fiddly Twang was able to fill in the gaps. "Is Braeburn my genius older brother? Sure as Apple Fritters sizzle."

Moondancer thought that one over for a full minute before she asked. "Is that a yes?"

Fiddly Twang tilted her head to one side, studying Moondancer's hopeful expression, the tear tracks on her face, and her red eyes. Something seemed to click inside the earth pony mare's head as she said "Oh...oh sugarcube...You got it bad for him, don'tcha?"

Not trusting herself to speak, Moondancer fretted her lip and nodded, helplessly. The next thing she knew, Fiddly Twang had enfolded her in a hug, pressing her neck to Moondancer's and bringing a hoof up for a reassuring pat on her shoulder. "Oh, you poor thing... An' lemme guess, the blockhead's got no clue a'tall, does he?"

Moondancer shook her head, trying hard not to dislodge Fiddly's stetson in the process. "I...I don't know how to tell him, or what to tell him. And what if..." A new thought, one almost too Horrible to contemplate, reared it's ugly head before her. She whispered it as she felt fresh tears seep out. "What if he didn't like me back?"

Fiddly Twang gave Moondancer an extra big squeeze before she broke the hug off. "Well, mah brother may be some sorta whiz-bang genius when it comes to Magic an' Harmony an' whatnot, but when it comes to mares, he's always been a certified grade A ignoramus." She turned and nodded a head at the bathroom door. "C'mon. We'll have us a good ol' fashioned filly talk, but there's somethin' you need to git 'fore we do."

Moondancer wiped at her face with a disposable towel, levitating her glasses out of the way with her magic as she did. "And what, pray tell, is that?"

"Mah Auntie Streusel Crust's Deluxe Funnel Cake a la Mode. If'n it cain't cure a broken heart, nothin' will."

***🍨***

"...and so, that's when we set out for Town earlier today. Only we didn't have any idea the Summer Sun Celebration would be happening."

The two mares had opted to split one of the gargantuan funnel cakes, which was only fair as the blasted thing was roughly the size of a Canterlot stallion-hole cover, weighed ten pounds, and was covered in chocolate fudge, caramel, powdered sugar, candied apples, sprinkles, marshmallows, peanuts and chocolate chips. Part of Moondancer's Canterlot upbringing recoiled at the lack of presentation in the dish, and the unsophisticated ingredients. The rest of her, particularly the bits that had been experiencing the emotional trauma of bitter, unrequited love, pointed out that it was Fried Cake covered in Chocolate, said to Tartarus with presentation, and dug in, using her magic and the utensil- A Spork, she had heard Fiddly call it- provided to demolish her portion. Fiddly, for her part, was was eating with a wild abandon, garnering disgusted looks from some of the other mares, while the unattached stallions gazed in awe and wonder at the earth pony mare's ability to devour complex carbohydrates.

"An this was basically a date with the two of you, even though you didn't set out to make it like one." Fiddly spoke after she managed to choke down a mouthful of fried pastry, pausing to wipe her muzzle clean of fudge and caramel. "An there I came in, stompin' all over your plans to have the galoot to yerself fer a night."

Moondancer thought it over for a second. Granted, that was exactly what had happened, but it wasn't until Fiddly Twang had said it that Moondancer was able to put her hoof on just why she had been so upset.
"Basically, yes."

"Aw sugarcube, Ah'm sorry." Fiddly Twang radiated sympathy. "Ah just ain't seen mah brother in ages."

"No, no! It's alright!" Moondancer waved her hooves in front of her, willing to forestall any sort of apology. "There's no way you could have known. I'm the one who should be sorry." She poked at the funnel cake with the spork held in her magic, resting her chin on a hoof, glumly. "I should have gotten up the nerve to tell him how I feel days ago. Then I could have dealt with the consequences properly." Or, she thought to herself, we'd be together and... Moondancer didn't know where that thought would have led.

Fiddly Twang arched an eyebrow at Moondancer, then took another bite of funnel cake, chewing thoughtfully. "Well, correct me if Ah'm wrong, but Ah'm guessin' you ain't the sort who's had a string of coltfriends."

Moondancer shook her head. "My studies always came first."

Fiddly nodded, as if confirming something to herself. "Ah thought so. So, he's your first crush."

"I...well...not to put too fine a point on...Yes." Moondancer sighed to herself. "I had always thought that my first love was Theoretical Harmony, but it turns out that was just a phase." As Fiddly's eyebrows climbed higher into her mane, Moondancer added "That was a joke."

"Ah gotcha." The earth pony mare blew a lock of her blue mane out of her face, where it was in danger of drowning in fudge. "So...you've never been in Love."

Moondancer felt herself blushing. "I certainly don't think I'd be qualified enough to recognize it."

"We'll see about that." Fiddly's tone shifted, and suddenly Moondancer felt the same as when she had to defend her Senior Thesis. "How much time do you spend thinkin' about mah brother?"

The answer came quickly to Moondancer. "Almost all day. I mean...when I'm not focusing on our work."

Fiddly nodded and paused long enough for Moondancer to take a bite of funnel cake before she asked the next question. "An' how much time did you spend thinkin' the two of you knockin' horseshoes?"

Moondancer very nearly choked on her bite of funnel cake. "Fiddly! He's your-"

"Jus' answer the question. Ah ain't judgin'."

"Well. At least a few minutes out of the day. I'm inexperienced, Fiddly, but I'm not made of stone."

That garnered a laugh from the earth pony mare. "Fair 'nuff. So what were you thinkin' about mah brother, then?"

"Simple things." Moondancer said, continuing. "Introducing him to my parents. Meeting his. Spending Hearts and Hooves day together. Hearthswarming. Learning more about what makes him laugh." She frowned, thoughtfully. "Helping him with his research. He's got a brilliant mind, Fiddly. I don't know what you know about it, but your brother's research could help revolutionize Thaumaturgical Study as we know it." Moondancer took a deep breath to steady herself. "He's...he's a special pony, Fiddly. Not just for me. But because he's got a gift. And maybe I'll only get a piece of it, helping him with his research. But every moment I spend with him, I treasure."

As Moondancer spoke, Fiddly Twang listened with rapt attention, her eyes wide with wonder. After the unicorn mare finished, Fiddly took another bite of funnel cake and chewed thoughtfully before swallowing and said, "Stars above...it finally happened..."

Moondancer frowned "What finally happened?"

Fiddly waved an airy hoof, still clutching her spork in her pastern. "Why, mah brother finally attracted a mare who's attracted to him fer his brains in addition to his good looks." She rolled her eyes. "You have no idea the number of filles who'd try to attract him when he's runnin' the rodeo circuit in his spare time. But mah brother's always had a brainy streak. Granted, it's hidden deep inside that numb skull of his." She sighed fondly, then shook her head. "But the mares are few an' far between who can see him for what he really is, rather 'n jus' some stud who'll give 'em good kids and an in with the biggest durn family in Equestria."

Fiddly sat back on her haunches, studying Moondancer for another minute before she spoke. "Alright."

Moondancer tilted her head. "Alright, what?"

Fiddly grinned, and there, Moondancer could see her resemblance to Braeburn, with the shape of her smile and the same twinkle in her eyes. "Alright, Ah'ma help you wit' mah brother, ya silly city slicker."

Moondancer's eyes widened behind her glasses. "W-what? Why?"

Fiddly Twang rested her chin on her hoof, still grinning. "'Cause Ah think yore feelin's are genuine, fer one. 'Cause Ah think you jus' might be mah brother's type, fer another. An' finally, 'cause Ah think Ah'm gonna have some fun with this." She rose, from the table, wiping her face with a napkin and trotting off into the night, the funnel cake forgotten behind her. "C'mon Moondancer, let's go git you a stallion!"

Moondancer trotted after Fiddly Twang, pausing long enough to levitate the funnel cake over to a table with a half dozen young fillies and colts sitting together, ignoring their whoops of joy at the sugary bounty laid before them. As she absently levitated a napkin in her magic to wipe her face, she wondered just what sort of craziness she was getting into. Regardless, she trotted after Fiddly Twang, Hope soaring in her heart and Love singing it's siren song in her ears.

You hear that, Braeburn! Ready or not...Here I come!

Author's Note:

Been a minute since I've posted here. Things have been hectic out in Meatspace.
Still, thanks for reading this far. Hopefully I haven't let you guys down yet!

Comments

[Sunset_Shimmer83]

I kinda thought it would be that Fiddly Twang was Braeburns sister or best friend. Love this story

[Snaproll]

10092482
I'm glad! I'm having a hoot writing it.

If it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you share with other folks? I write mostly to entertain, and it's super motivating to know people are liking what I do.

Thank you for sticking with me so far

[Captain_Stallion]

Well, may as well write off Breburn off the eligible listing.

With his sister's involvement there is no hope for our hero, may as well count him as taken.

[Snaproll]

10098557
Forsooth, it has always been so.

Fivesooth, even.