Theory and Practice

by Snaproll

Progression

One week after her dream with Princess Luna, Moondancer was ready to tear out her mane in frustration. Thankfully, whether through not remembering or discounting it as a fanciful working of his subconscious, Braeburn made no mention of the dream as well, although secretly Moondancer fervently hoped that it was an elaborate prank being put upon her by at least one of the Diarchs, if not by her former colleague, Twilight Sparkle. Then again, some parts of her yearned that Braeburn would approach her in some quiet place, and confess his undying love for her after the strange dream she had.

Sadly, this did not happen.

Instead, she spent the next few days working in close proximity with the rustic stallion, performing tests, running experiments, and doing her level best to not grab him by the lapels of his vest, plant a massive kiss on his unsuspecting lips and declare in no uncertain terms her firey passion and desire to bear his foals.

Even worse, the week spent in his close proximity seemed to deepen her attraction further. To be sure, the earth pony stallion was physically attractive. Moondancer wished nothing further than to frolic in his luxurious blonde mane, to breathe deep his earthy scent of apples, leather, and sweat, and to trace the lines of his corded muscles with her hooves. Or Tongue. Or both.

"Are you feelin' ok, Miss Moondancer? You're lookin' a li'l..." The stallion in question was gazing at her, his honest features concerned. He took one of her forehooves in his and felt for a pulse. Moondancer blushed and thought as hard as she could at him No, i'm not alright, you had best carry me back to my bedchambers, hurl me down onto my bed, and then have your way with me. Ride off with me into the sunset, you ravishing, handsome stallion you. Take me in your hooves and make me yours!

Outwardly, she said "Oh. No, I'm alright, Braeburn. It's just been...well, it's been a long week." She shuddered and gave him a tired smile that, she hoped, covered up how much she was blushing.

~~💕~~
Five Days Ago

"Arright...Centrifuges off."

Moondancer's horn lit up as she begun to stop the devices spinning. "Beginning to slow them down." She levitated a pen in her magic and started making notations. "Estimated time to finishing spin, thirty seconds." She paused, and, grateful she had an excuse to glance over at Braeburn, looked over at him. "So, remind me again, why we're hyper-refining Poison Joke in industrial quantities?"

Braeburn swept his stetson from his head with one hoof and set it on the counter before him. "Well, there's a theory that we might somehow manage to pin down its properties and somehow use them to fight crippling diseases or major disfigurements." He ran a hoof through his blonde mane and frowned at the instruments before him, continuing the thought. "The trick is, we have to make shore it's ultra-refined, and there's jus' one place in Equestria that kin do that."

Just then, a red warning light started to blink on the console before him. Braeburn snatched his hat from the counter and planted it on his head. "Centrifuge Number Fower is reading increased rotational acceleration, increasing to six thousand RPM."

Moondancer stood, her horn flashing as she activated the controls. "Attempting to override." A second later, she shook her head, worry starting to creep into her voice. "Override unresponsive. Attempting manual control."

Braeburn crossed over to a bank of magical circuit breakers. "Hol' on. Tryin' to cut off power to the centrifuge." With a mighty heave, he tripped the pair of breakers to Centrifuge Number 4.

Moondancer rose to her hooves as the light continued flashing, accompanied now by an alarm klaxon. "Centrifuge Four's rotation is increasing, reading eight thousand RPM...SIXTEEN thousand RPM..Thirty-" She felt a jerk around her neck as Braeburn grabbed her by the back of her sweater.

"C'mon, run fer it!" He pushed her towards the doors from the lab, and Moondancer's heart pounded in terror as she tried to get her hooves motivated in some sort of order as the pair fled towards the lab doors. The doors, for their part, held resolutely shut. The pair tried to shove against them, Braeburn shoving hard with his powerful hooves and Moondancer conjuring several kinetic bludgeons with her magic. The earth pony stallion grimaced after the third time and frowned. "T'aint no use. The lab's fail-safes've kicked in to prevent contamination."

In unison, the pair turned to stare at the row of centrifuges along the far wall. Their gazes lit upon the fourth from the left, which had started to glow a dull red that, as they watched, brightened to a virulent orange. They glanced back at each other, and Moondancer felt herself blushing. Tell him! You might not get another chance to! He deserves to know how you feel! Do you want to go to your grave knowing you left things unsaid? She opened her mouth to speak, but then Braeburn pushed her body behind his, shielding her from the malfunctioning centrifuge. He turned to look at her, and said "Miss Moondancer, whutever happens-"

And then, several things happened.

The whine of the centrifuges increased to an infernal howl, and, over Braeburn's shoulder, she could see Number Four glowing white hot an instant before it tore itself apart in an inferno of molten metal and clouds of billowing blue gas. She sought out Braeburn's eyes. She had no idea what was going to happen, but she was determined that, if these were her final moments, that she would spend them looking at this magnificent stallion. As the blue cloud reached them, she felt a dizzying sensation and it felt like she was rushing toward his eyes...

And then the blue mist started to fade.

~~~~

Outside the lab, Snaproll pounded on the door. "Hey! Hey guys! Are you ok?!"

The intercom from inside the lab piped up, and a mare's voice spoke up. "Uh...yeah, Snap. We are doing just fine. Looking at results, the concentrated Poison Joke seems to be remarkably unstable. Give us a few seconds and it should be safe for you to enter."

"Oh, thank the Sisters." The pegasus' voice was filled with relief. "What in Tartarus' toenails happened?"

A stallion's voice spoke up. "Ah cain't be shore, but ah think we had, uh, catastrophic failure in one of the centrifuges. Oh, whoop..."

Just then the doors opened, and Snaproll poked his head around the corner, staring at a furiously blushing Braeburn and a somewhat bemused Moondancer. The pegasus arched a quizzical eyebrow. "Huh...I thought Poison Joke had weird effects on ponies."

Moondancer opened her mouth to speak. "Ah-I mean, I think that what happens with normal Poison Joke is that its effects are metabolized over the course of twelve hours or so. I don' quite know what it will do in it's refined state, but it's given its refined state, it could run its course a lot faster." She glanced aside at Braeburn, who seemed to be in a funk, then dug his ribs with a forehoof.

The earth pony stallion straightened up and said "Shore 'nuff! That sounds like it, fore shore!"

Snaproll glanced between the two of them, frowning. "So...you're fine then?"

Moondancer nodded. "Oh yes, absolutely." She glanced at Braeburn, then dug him in his side again.

"Durn tootin'!"

The pegasus stallion nodded. "Ok then...But if anything goes wrong, I want you to report to Saz for a full medical report."

Moondancer nodded. "Will do! See you in a few, Snap."

Once the pegasus retreated from earshot, she turned to Braeburn and sighed. "A'right, Miz Moondancer, Ah think Ah've got the Poison Joke antidote around here, somewheah..."

~~💕~~

Brareburn coughed politely. "Yes, well, ah...I mean, it's not often somethin' like that backfires on this facility. Especially not in any sorta body switchin' way." He lifted a hat, though Moondancer was pleased to see him blushing slightly. "Granted, not that yours was a body that wasn't pleasurable to be in, mind."

Trust me, that's not the way I wanted you to get inside my body either! Moondancer thought to herself. Outwardly, she said "I suppose we should have taken notes. If nothing else, it would have made for interesting comparative reading."

Braeburn coughed into one hoof. "You do have a point there, ah suppose. Somethin' for later experimentation, perhaps." He looked abashed. "Though, truth be told, it's not like we haven't had other things go wrong...

~~💕~~
Four days ago...

"Get it off, get it off!" Moondancer came pelting around the corner to find an improbable sight. Sazerac stood by the entrance to the Stallion's bathrooms, his left forehoof wrapped by one of several improbably large green and purple spotted tentacles that were writhing and spiraling their way past the swinging doors. Braeburn, a firepony's axe clenched resolutely between his forehooves, swung with all his might and hacked at the offending tentacle halfway through.

"I-uh, what is going on?!" Moondancer half shouted into the confusion.

"Gang way!" she heard a shout from behind her as Snaproll, followed closely by Whichaway, come flying down the hallway, each carrying buckets filled with rock salt. The pegasus stallion shouted as he flew past "Interdimensional Phasing Commode Cephalapods! It's their migration season! They don't normally cause a fuss, it's just this year, we'd had the septic tank freshly pumped!" The two pegasi flung their buckets of rock salt over the tentacles, which hissed and started retreating back into the toilets.

Braeburn swung his axe, fending off a tentacle that had been snaking its way back towards Sazerac. "It ain't no septic tank cleanin' that's attractin' 'em, Ah done told you already, yeh cain't use no bleach when you clean the toilets this time o' year, the durned fellers feed off the danged stuff!"

~~💕~~

Moondancer shook her head. "I'll be honest, It's not every day that a filly gets to help fight off interdimensional Cephalapods." She frowned. "But what about the issue with the scientific library?"

~~💕~~
Yesterday

Moondancer muttered to herself as she perused the shelves of the (admittedly small and narrowly focused) library for the research institute. She had been searching for a copy of Commander Hurricane's Treatise on The Natural Occurrence of Weather Patterns and The Reasonings Thereof...or at least, that had been her pretense. Really, she had been hoping in vain the library had something that would help her with her less academic pursuits...ideally something like The Complete Idiots Guide to Talking to Stallions or, even more helpful, something like Miss Rarity Belle's new bestseller, How to get the Stallion of your Dreams to Sweep you Off your Hooves Without Even Trying While Still Maintaining Your Feminine Dignity, But it seemed the research institute hadn't deemed it Scientifically Rigorous enough to merit adding a copy.

"Let's see...Non-Fiction 256.8 through 259.9...Where is it...OH!" To her considerable surprise, she rounded a stack of books to find, of all things, an Orangutan quietly shelving books. He turned to look at her with simian curiosity. "Ook?"

"Oh! I'm sorry-"

"OOK!" He held up a finger before his face and gave her a look that would have been humorous had it not been also severe. Abashed, she whispered. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout."

"Ook."

"Do you know where I can find a reference on Clover the Clever's Essaye on The Natural Feductionf of Ftallionf? I was wondering if there was a copy- Oh! Thank you!" She said, as the orangutan lifted a heavy volume from the top shelf and held it up for her inspection. "That's just what I was looking for, thank you." She levitated the book into her saddlebags and glanced around. "Um...since you're here..."

"Ook?"

"I don't suppose you have any ideas on how a filly is to declare her undying affection to a stallion?"

The orangutan gave her a flat glare, before pointing a finger towards the library exit and giving her a weary "Ook."

"Ah...I'll show myself out."

~~💕~~

Braeburn just waved a hoof. "Aw, that's jus' Horace. He pops in every now'n then to cross-reference the Library. Helps out too if you get shunted into L-Space."

"L-what?"

"Ah, we'll look into that later. So," He leaned in, raising his eyebrows, "Me & Sazerac were gonna head into town fer a meetin' an' hoedown. Wanna come along?"

"What, into town? With you?"

Braeburn nodded. "And Sazerac, though he said he was gon' stock up on somethin' or other for the kitchens and such. Ah thought that you might appreciate the change of scenery." He held out a hoof for her, smiling easily. "D'you wanna come along?"

Moondancer was unsure that she would be able to stand, her knees were so weak, but she took his hoof in hers and stood. "Sure...I would love to."

Author's Note:

Wow, it's been a while!

It's been nice to come back to this story. What will happen next?

The world wonders. And Happy Nightmare Night!