Theory and Practice

by Snaproll

Tempest

In the Center kitchen, Sazerac used his magic to rotate the potatoes on their rack on the oven. He was still chortling to himself as he kept an eye on the kitchen clock. Let's see...it's been about two minutes since I sent her up to see him. Should be ANY second now...

He used his magic to open a cabinet and draw out a bottle of amber liquor, a bottle of green liquor, a box of sugar cubes, and a small bottle of a brilliant red liquor. These he arrayed in a row on the counter, and then used his magic to pull two more glasses from the cupboard. One of these he floated into the icebox, the other he laid out on the bar.

Sazerac had just managed to get this accomplished when the adobe walls of the Center shook in the throes of something much mightier than the storm which currently raged outside. A mare's voice, raised several decibels louder than the drumming rain and pounding thunder. The mare's shook the Center's adobe walls from its roof all the way down to its foundations with a single phrase. It rattled Sazerac's glasses and shook his plates. The window panes rattled in their frames. Sazerac could hear the pool table shake on its legs.

The mare's voice said, "YOU HAVE TO BE BUCKING KIDDING ME!!!"

Sazerac glanced around himself, making sure the drink he was concocting remained unmolested by the disturbance. He heard a faint thump on the floor above him, and then grinned.

"Sounds like she found out." He chortled to himself, as he poured a measure of rye into the glass and started singing to himself, as he continued mixing his drink.

Eh Cumpari, ci fa suonare
Chi si sona? Un friscalettu...

*******

Moondancer gaped at Braeburn, who had settled back into his chair. Her mind was simultaneously moving a million miles a second and reeling from the news that this rustic earth pony stallion who was slouching in his chair before her was the greatest mind of her generation in the field of theoretical magic. She drew from deep within herself to muster the most brilliant, scathing, witty, and charming response she could muster.

"Whaaaa...."

She shook her head and then tried again.

"Hassenphfeffer..."

Braeburn's smile broadened as he stretched back in his chair, his green eyes on the ceiling. " Ah ain't surprised you'd react this way. T'was half the reason I took out the pen name anyhow."

This gave Moondancer something to latch on to, a lifeline of reason that she could grasp onto in a sea of bafflement. "Took...out...name?"

Braeburn nodded, his smile turning rueful. "Yah, see...I've got a biiiiiig family, you gotta understand, Miss Moondancer. Now, most of them won't give a flyin' buck at a rollin' apple fritter if'n Ah published a bunch o' highfalutin' theoretical magic papers an' got a dozen or so awards an' whatnot. But there's a few of 'em that would. A few that'd say that my head were gettin' too big fer my stetson, if'n you see what Ah mean." He shrugged back in his chair, his smile losing its self-mocking aspect and becoming more genuine. "So, Ah took out a...whatsit Sazerac called it...Nom de Plume. Ah figured it'd be pretty obvious. Pomme de Terre...literally means "Apple of the Earth" an' whatnot. Ah figured the ponies that bothered to check in would figure it out, and them what didn't know wouldn't care."

Moondancer felt an irrational stab of guilt that she hadn't bothered to check further beyond the pen name, but a part of her mare's pride rallied. You can't just sit there! A part of her screamed, shaking her psyche by the shoulders. Say SOMETHING, filly!

Her mind cast around, trying to find the best response to this situation. Instead of rendering herself capable of coherent speech, however, it only allowed her to mumble a few nonsensical phrases. Braeburn glanced over at her, his expression concerned.

"Are you alright, Miss Moondancer? Ah could getcha a drink o' water, if'n ya like."

Reeling, a part of Moondancer's mind realized that she was starting to make a scene. YOU HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING!!! ANYTHING!!!

"But...you don't look like a magical theorist." Anything but THAT!, her mind shrieked to herself in dismay.

When she looked back, Moondancer was never sure where the statement originated from in her mind. She was certain, however, that it was a mistake.

Braeburn took his rear hooves from the desktop and swiveled his chair around to face her, his expression studiously blank. "Would you care to tell me just whut you mean by that, Miss Moondancer?" His voice was calm and collected, but there was a strong hint of anger running through it. Moondancer felt the same sense of foreboding and potential fury every bit as potent as the storm that was currently lashing the center with rain, thunder and lightning lurking under the earth pony stallion's placid countenance. Ohhh, I really put my hoof in it, she thought, as she tried to repair the damage.

"Well...I don't mean any offense, but...you don't act or talk like any of the Magical Theorists I've met or heard about."

A bit of the tension leaked out of Braeburn's posture, but his expression was still as blank and impassive as the adobe walls of the building. "Ah see...Well, Ah certainly hope you won't be the type to hold a pony's upbringin' against them. Not every pony has access to a Canterlot Education, you understand." There was something bitter in his tone, but he continued speaking before Moondancer had a chance to say anything else. "An' Ah don't suppose that I'm an Earth Pony has somethin' to do with your reaction, does it?"

"No! No, of course not!" Moondancer said, and she meant it. "Honestly, Braeburn, that's not it. It's just that..." She took a minute for her brain to marshal her thoughts into something coherent, afraid that she might say something else that would upset Braeburn. She was, she realized, that no matter how...irritating she might find the stallion, she also didn't want to hurt him or offend him. She took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and then spoke. "It's just that...well, I've read your papers. Quite a few of them, actually. I just...well, I thought they were the work of an older pony. I didn't expect them to be the work of a stallion about my age." Or one so strong, handsome, and who knew his way around the outdoors. voice muttered in the back of her mind, to Moondancer's surprise. She filed that stray thought away for later consideration as she continued speaking. "Your upbringing out here, and the fact that you're an earth pony doesn't really enter into my consideration about that. And I'm sorry if I gave that impression." Brains and brawn, he's got the whole package! the same part of her brain piped up again before she managed to club it into submission.

Braeburn's expression remained impassive, save for one of his blonde eyebrows climbing into his mane. "If'n you don't mind my askin', which of my papers didja read?"

"The Implications and Initial Conclusions of Chaos Magic, Alicorns: Born or Created? and, most recently, Hazardous and Magical Flora of Equestria." Moondancer said, ticking them off on one of her hooves.

Braeburn's other eyebrow joined the first one. "And what didja think of 'em?"

Moondancer took a deep breath. "Well, the Chaos Magic one was particularly intriguing. Considering that Discord has the ability to conjure up seemingly impossible objects, weather phenomena, and nearly everything else with a snap of his claws...if ponies could harness the same spells and control them, the implications for Equestrian society could be huge. Everything from curing birth defects to eliminating poverty and hunger."

Braeburn nodded, his eyebrows returning to a normal level above his green eyes. "And the Hazardous and Magical Flora of Equestria?"

Moondancer looked at him curiously. "Well, I'd have to see how well your experiments hold up personally, as I only just read it a month ago, but your methodology looks sound and what you've written about Poison Joke, at least, certainly seems promising."

Braeburn gave her a half smile. "So, yore hopin' that my research on magical plants will bear fruit?"

Moondancer laughed at that, surprised at herself. That joke was objectively terrible. Why did I laugh at that? She managed to get her giggles under control, took a deep breath, and nodded.

Braeburn relaxed back into his chair. "Well...good. Because those two particular fields are what we'll be studyin' here at the Center for the very near future." He sighed and leaned forward in his chair. "Miss Moondancer...Ah'm sorry Ah took offense at what you said. Ah should have given you the benefit of the doubt. And if nothin' else, Ah'm glad you're a part of the team here." He smiled, and though it was still raining outside his office window, Moondancer suddenly felt like the sun had come out. She was seized by the urge to grab the lapels of his vest with her hooves, pull him to her, and give him the biggest kiss she had ever bestowed upon a stallion. The thought, however, was so out of left field, she resisted.
He'd think I was crazy! And, furthermore, JUST WHERE ARE THESE THOUGHTS COMING FROM?!? Moondancer added it to the pile of troubling emotions that she would have to examine later when she wasn't talking to Braeburn. For some reason, she was finding herself distracted, and she couldn't pin down exactly why. And that was troubling her.

Moondancer opened her mouth to speak, when a pony shouted up from the floor below, his voice laced with panic.

"Help! Someone give me a hoof here!"

Moondancer and Braeburn glanced at the door, then at each other before they left the room at a dead gallop.

*******

Snaproll stood in the entrance to the Center's lounge, his mane, tail and coat dripping wet, with an unconscious pegasus draped across his back. The door stood ajar behind him; outside the storm raged as rain was coming down in sheets. He glanced up at Moondancer and Braeburn, who were coming down the stairs at a full run. "Get the first aid kit! I think she's hurt pretty bad!"

Braeburn nodded, turned and dashed up the stairs. Moondancer trotted over to Snaproll and, using her levitation, lifted the pegasus mare onto one of the sofas nearby. Her mane and tail were soaking and bedraggled from being out in the storm, so much so that Moondancer could barely tell what color they were; her coat was likewise waterlogged and difficult to tell what color it was. More troubling, however, was the injury to the mare's head. She had a large cut running across from a lump on her forehead that ran down past her temple that was bleeding freely.

After the mare was situated on the sofa, Snaproll grabbed a trio of cushions and used them to elevate her hind legs above her head. Meanwhile, Sazerac emerged from the kitchen with a large bag full of ice cubes and a damp towel. But before Moondancer could do anything, Braeburn was standing by her side and gently shouldering her aside. He glanced over at Snaproll and asked "What happened to her?" as the earth pony gently started probing the mare's skull for fractures.

Snaproll shook his head, spraying water everywhere. "I'd just about finished stalling the storm as much as I could, when I saw her flying through it. I went to help her out and managed to lead her out of a pretty nasty down draft, but by that point we were at altitude and that section of storm started hailing on us. She caught a stone about the size of a hoof on the head." The pegasus was breathing hard, his eyes faraway as he stared at the mare.

Braeburn nodded. "Well, good thing you were there. Looks like she's just concussed. Her skull isn't broken, and that's durn lucky." He glanced over at Snaproll. "This'll give you a good chance to practice yer first aid." The earth pony straightened up and stepped next to Moondancer. "Ah'm sorry fer pushin' you aside there, Miss Moondancer. Ah just..." He shrugged. "Ah just got first aid trainin' and all. Had do make sure she didn't have anythin' wrong with her."

Moondancer shook her head, her deep red mane shaking around her. "No...No it's okay. I've never...never treated an injury like that." Her mind supplied her a baffling image of Braeburn bent over her, concern across his features, but she banished the thought to the growing pile of confusing notions in the space behind her horn.

Snaproll, meanwhile, had accepted the ice and towels from his brother and gently held them to the mare's forhead. He glanced over at Braeburn. "Thanks...It's just that...well, she was bleeding pretty badly."

Braeburn nodded. "That's purty normal. Shallow head wounds tend to bleed like that." His eyes narrowed as he watched Snaproll tend to the mare. "The ice is a good idea, you jus' might want to bind her wound first."

"Oh...right."

Sazerac, meanwhile, had been rummaging around in one of the cupboards and returned floating a half dozen towels in his magic. "Here you go, Snap. Might want to dry her off too. Last thing she needs is a concussion and pneumonia."

"Good thinking."

Snaproll used his hooves to wrap a length of gauze around the mare's head. After he tied off the bandage, he began to dry her off with a towel. He'd managed to move to one of her outstretched wings when the mare's eyes flashed open. They were a penetrating blue-gray. They flicked around, from the ceiling, to the sofa she was lying on, and, then, on the pegasus stallion who was drying her off. Instantly her expression went from befuddled curiosity to incandescent fury.

"OI! GET YOUR HOOVES OFF ME, PERVERT!"

Snaproll had just enough time to turn his head in her direction and say "Wait, wha-" before the mare lashed out in a competent right cross that connected with Snaproll's jaw. The pegasus stallion's head snapped around and he collapsed next to the sofa. The mare struggled to rise from the sofa, then held a hoof to her forehead and sunk back into it. "Ohhh....my head feels like it's had a diamond dog living in it...Which one of you made the gravity go all sideways?" She had a low alto voice and a faint Trottingham accent.
Sazerac, meanwhile, was rolling on the floor, laughing. "Ohh...and he's down! Fell like a sack of spuds!"

Braeburn cleared his throat. "Beggin' yer pardon, miss, but yer sufferin' from a pretty bad concussion from when you got caught back in that storm outside. My colleague here managed to save you from it." He pulled one of Snaproll's eyes back, then shook his head. "Out cold. Hey Saz," he called over to the unicorn stallion, who was trying to stifle his laughter, "Go and get yer brother another bag of ice."

"Sure thing, Brae." The unicorn got to his hooves and retreated to the kitchen, still chortling to himself.

Moondancer stood over the mare on the couch. "I should introduce myself. My name's Moondancer. The earth pony stallion there is Braeburn, and the pegasus you knocked out is Snaproll." She glanced back down at the pegasus mare. "What's your name?"

The pegasus mare frowned in concentration for a minute. "I'm...Whichaway. Sorry there, it took me a minute to think of it. I must have taken a pretty hard hit."

Braeburn spoke up from his position by Snaproll. "According to this guy here, you got hit by a hailstone & blacked out. Ah'd take it easy, if I was you. I don't know how long you was out, and head injuries like that can be funny."

Whichaway nodded slightly as Sazerac trotted back into the room, holding another bag of ice. "I got this guy, Brae. I've known how to get him up since we were colts" The unicorn stallion trotted over to his prostrate brother and let the ice bag drop onto his head, none too gently. "Hey featherbrain, quit sandbagging. Dinner's about ready."

Amazingly, Snaproll gave a firm twitch. He groaned and sat up, gingerly holding the ice to his head. "Did...did anyone get the name of that dragon that hit me?"

"Oi! Watch who you're calling a 'dragon', mister!" Whichaway had half raised herself from the couch and was glaring at Snaproll on the floor. The pegasus stallion, for his part, was glaring back at her.

"Hey! Do you deck every stallion you meet, or just the ones that saved you from plowing headfirst into the desert?"

"Saving me so you could feel me up when I'm unconscious you sicko!"

"Feeling you-" Snaproll spluttered, before he shouted back "I was drying you off!!! You got a problem with that, the storm's still going on out there."

"A'ight...that's enough." Braeburn spoke up before Whichaway could respond, and the two pegasi fell silent. "'Peers to me that what we got here is a whole passel of misunderstandins." He glanced over at Sazerac. "Is dinner actually ready?"

"Just about long enough for me to plate it up." Sazerac said, grinning. "Should even have enough even for an unexpected guest."

Braeburn nodded. "Sounds good." He turned to the prostrate pegasus mare and said "Miss, under the circumstances, Ah'd like to extend my hoof in hospitality to yourself." He nodded to Moondancer. "If'n you like, Miss Moondancer here will accompany you to the filly's room and help you get dried off."