Chapter 9: I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who's Agito)
The hours of the evening idled by, as Princess Celestia had just finished her duties for the day, mostly listening to the endless whining of the members of the “nobility”. She sighed deeply. As much as she truly loved all her little ponies, she wished that the ones that considered themselves the closest to her would live up to their title more.
The sun princess sat at a desk covered in papers.
“Now then…another message from Twilight.” She noted, as she unfurled a scroll.
Recently, she had been receiving reports of ponies being involuntarily transformed by mysterious “RideWatches”, as well as an armored hero who stands up to the monsters. Twilight kept her well informed of the activities of this hero…sometimes a bit TOO informed.
“I should ask her to leave out the details of the young hero’s musculature,” The princess thought to herself. “Though, I guess she would be at that point in her life…”
There was a knock at the door. “Sister? Tis I, may I enter?” Luna’s voice called from the other side.
“Of course, Luna!” Celestia replied. The night princess strode into the room.
“I see Twilight has sent many reports of the young hero.” She looked over the stack of scrolls.
“Yes, she has…you’ve been to visit him before in his dreams, what do you make of him?” Celestia asked.
“From what I can tell, he seems to be very sincere, but also troubled by something…” Luna commented. “And yourself?”
“All I’ve managed to get from these reports so far are that he’s been protecting Ponyville, and it appears Twilight seems to have a crush on him…”
As she said that last part, a bright pink flash lit up the room, and when the light faded, Princess Cadance was before them both.
“WHAT!?” Cadence shrieked. “Twily has a crush!?”
“...weren’t you in Baltimare, niece of ours?” Luna asked, utterly bewildered. But the love princess ignored the question.
“I can’t believe it! Who is it? Who’s managed to steal my little sister-in-law’s heart?” Cadence rambled.
“Read for yourself, Cadence.” Celestia handed her niece one of the reports.
“...mm-hmm… A human from another world… gallant heroism… boyish charm… yep, sounds like a good match!” She nodded. “Now I have my own duties to perform!”
The look in her eyes was excited, but also seemed manic.
“And, what, pray tell, would those duties be?” Luna asked.
“Why, helping their burgeoning relationship, of course!” The love princess replied.
Celestia’s eye twitched a bit. She then took a deep breath.
“Niece, I believe we’ve had this discussion about our duties as princesses before.” she started. “We are merely to guide and mentor ponies, not directly interfere with their lives. Otherwise they will not grow, and they will become overly dependent on us.”
“That and the rumors of us ‘playing chess’ with the entirety of the nation,” Luna added. “Horrible rumors really, and completely untrue.”
Celestia frowned. “I don’t see what it is with those rumors, if we ‘played chess’ with our ponies it would only be friendly games, in the park, under my sun.”
“At least they haven’t started any more cults,” Luna said, rolling her eyes. “That’s the last thing ANY of us need.”
“You have cults?” Cadence asked. “I mean, I certainly have worshippers, usually thirsty stallions and mares but outright cults are another matter…”
“Sadly, many used our duties to the sun and moon as a pretext to declare themselves a ‘superior race’ and started cults in that name… The New Lunar Republic and the Grand Celestial Empire were what I heard they often called themselves.”
Cadence made a nicker of disgust. “Well that’s missing the whole point isn’t it, you have an equal partnership. One cannot exist without the other.”
“They’re hardly even governing bodies, they’re often very small collections of ponies who know little better,” Celestia said, her voice sounding pitying more than anything else.
“At the very least, these days they are little more than nuisances who solicit ponies at their homes with brochures and whatnot,” Luna said. “Honestly I don’t know how many ponies even listen to their words. At least… I hope that’s the case…”
Her wings folded against her side sadly, somewhat ashamed.
“But that’s why we must make sure we only provide guidance, and allow them to grow as their own individual,.” Celestia added, looking back at her niece. “I know you wish to help Twilight and the young hero, but please be aware of their own feelings on this matter.”
Cadence sighed a bit. “Very well, Auntie. I will not interfere in any of our ponies’ love lives unless they ask me for help.”
“There you go.” The sun princess smiled and nodded.
“In any case, I must be going, Shiny is probably wondering where I went,” Cadence replied as she turned to the door. “Hopefully he hasn’t turned the city upside down looking for me.”
Celestia chuckled. “You have such a loyal husband, maybe a bit of a worrywart but loving.”
Cadence smiled. “Maybe we can all be so lucky one day. You know, if either of you are ever feeling lonely, I can-”
“NO!”
-----
“Thank you for taking the time to come visit me, Rarity.” Twilight said, as she sipped some tea. She was currently in another room in her castle, spending time with one of her best friends.
“Of course, darling. You’ve been working hard on repairing the map, after all- even I need to refresh myself from time to time.” The fashion-conscious unicorn replied. “I assume dear Thomas and Starlight are working on it in your stead?”
“Yes, but…they don’t seem to get along very well with each other. Is it something I’m doing wrong? I’m supposed to be helping Starlight learn friendship, but-” Twilight started, but Rarity held up a finger.
“No no, that’s the wrong perspective.” Rarity said. “Starlight has to learn to overcome her own biases and issues. That’s not something you can just do for her.”
“I suppose…now I wonder if this is how Princess Celestia felt when she was teaching me.” The alicorn sighed.
“Speaking of getting along, how are things with you and Thomas these days?” Rarity asked.
“Um…well, he helps me out just like Spike does, he’s been a great friend so far.
“JUST a friend?” Rarity asked again, raising an eyebrow and smirking.
“What do you mean?” Twilight asked.
“Please, darling, I’ve seen the glances you’ve stolen. You’ve developed feelings for him, haven’t you?”
Twilight froze for a moment, her eyes widening. “WHAT?!” She yelped. “M-me and Tom!? Like, a-a romantic thing!?” She stammered, her face turning beet red.
“Well of course! You and him would make such a lovely couple!” Rarity continued.
Twilight shakily sipped tea. “B-but Tom doesn’t like me like that, right!? I mean, he’s got loads of other mares who’d willingly date him! I-I couldn’t-” She kept stammering.
“Twilight, please compose yourself.” Rarity said calmly. Twilight took a deep breath. “Now, do you, or do you not, have feelings for Thomas?”
“Well, I mean-” Twilight stammered again.
“Yes or no?”
“...alright, yes, I like him! He’s been so brave to stand up to those monsters for us! And he’s done so much! And I just feel safe around him…” Twilight muttered.
“Well, then you simply must let him know your feelings!” Rarity replied, her eyes twinkling with the urge to matchmake.
“Eh!? But I-um, I mean…” Twilight went right back to barely coherent stuttering.
“Hm…” Rarity pondered the situation, before a thought popped up in her head. “IDEEEAAAA~” She sang. “Why don’t I take you down to the spa today? We’ll make you an utterly irresistible mare, one that Thomas will fall head-over-heels for!”
“Er…” Twilight stammered again, but the conversation was interrupted by the sound of something breaking in another room.
“Oh thank Celestia- I mean, oh no, something happened!” Twilight said disingenuously. “Weshouldprobablygocheckitoutnotimelikethepresentbyeeeee!” She rambled as she rushed out the door.
“You’ll have to talk to him about this sooner or later…” She thought as she followed her friend.
—------
When Twilight walked into the central room, she saw a very annoyed Tom with his hair blasted back and ash all over his front, glaring daggers at Starlight, who was rolling her eyes.
“Oh my…what in the name of Celestia happened in here!?” Twilight shrieked.
“Well, Twilight, it seems your student has some trouble following directions.” Tom said grumpily.
“Come on, you’re supposed to be this big hero, and you’re afraid of a magic beam?” Starlight replied.
“It wasn’t the magic beam, you should have stopped when I told you it was going to cause an explosion!” Tom yelled back.
“And who died and made you the expert on magic, huh!?” Starlight snapped.
“ENOUGH!” Twilight slammed her hand onto the table. “I don’t want to see you two fighting!”
Both of them stopped, but Tom stood up.
“I’m going out. Don’t wait up.” He walked away angrily.
“Tom, wait!” Twilight called after him. She sighed.
“Starlight, I’m going to go catch up with him. Please clean up this mess while I’m away.”
“But-” Starlight was about to protest but Twilight just gave her a look.
“Cleanup it is.” She said, grabbing a broom and dustpan with her magic as her teacher walked out the door.
—-----
“I’m really sorry about Starlight’s behavior, Tom…” Twilight apologized as the two walked to Rarity’s to get Tom’s jacket repaired.
Tom had wiped his face of the ash from the explosion, but his clothes were still damaged. He was still rather annoyed by the incident.
“It’s not your fault.” He replied. “Still, Starlight isn’t the best listener, huh?”
“She’s still got a lot to learn.” Twilight said, her ears drooping. “I really was hoping she could be friends with you, too…”
“These things can’t be rushed, Twilight.” Tom said. “Maybe we’ll find some common ground eventually.”
“It’s not just that though, I wanted to give her a role model as well.” Twilight explained. Tom raised an eyebrow.
“You see, when I met Starlight, she was heading down an extremely dark path in her life. And I took her on as my student, in hopes of teaching her about friendship, but also guiding her to a better path in life.”
“And you wanted me to be a model for a better path?” Tom asked.
“Well, you’ve gone above and beyond to help all of us on multiple occasions.” Twilight replied.
“That’s the responsibility of a Kamen Rider, though.” Tom explained.
“But that’s exactly why I wanted her to learn from you. You have the example of the Kamen Riders to follow. Maybe, if she saw that, she might find her own example to follow.”
“...well, right now, I need to get my jacket fixed. We can talk about Starlight later.” Tom said. Twilight just nodded as the two continued their trek.
“Twilight’s working hard to reform Starlight…I can’t say I’m not curious. After all, Kamen Riders don’t often get that chance…”
—------
Meanwhile, in Canterlot, the normally bustling street known as Restaurant Row was covered in an unusual tension. Ponies went through rigidly, and anxiously, fearing something unseen.
A mare walked up to a food stand, looking around herself in anxious dread.
“Can I take your order?” The stallion working the stand asked quietly.
“I’d like a hayburger with no pickles…” She whispered, but then she felt an ominous presence behind her.
“YoU FooooL!!!” A distorted voice rang out, seemingly from everywhere. “A haYbURger!? NO! No oNE wiLL eaT suCH baSE cuiSINE here!” The stallion’s expression turned to fear, as the mare turned around…
What she saw was a vicious looking monster, vaguely resembling a grasshopper with large teeth.
“MAybE yoU NEEd A leSSoN iN APPreciaTING GouRMET CuisinE!!!” The monster roared as it slowly opened its mouth…
The only thing that could be heard afterwards was a deafening shriek, followed by silence…
“You know what? You were right- this is enjoyable.” Idunn commented as she and Ouja watched on from atop a nearby building.
“I know, right!? She’s sooooo far up her own ass that she honestly thinks she’s doing them a service!” Ouja commented. “And those boneheads in Ponyville have no idea!”
“So what now? We just keep watching while she works over this stupid city?” Idunn asked. Just then, the two of them felt a presence.
“PAUSE!” A voice echoed from seemingly nowhere, as everything but Ouja and Idunn froze in time.
“Oy vey…” Ouja rolled his eyes under his mask. “Show yourself, O Dork Lord!” He yelled out.
“I’ll remind you that I outrank the pair of you.” Another armored figure appeared, in black-and-green armor that resembled gaming equipment.
“So what brings you here, number two?” Idunn asked disingenuously.
“The Boss wants the pair of you to return soon, we have to discuss our next moves. Especially now that ‘he’ is apparently in Equestria somewhere.”
“Really, Cronus?” Ouja groaned. “Just because of that wayward bum?”
“I’ll remind you that the boss explicitly warned us about said ‘wayward bum’.” Cronus replied. “Do not try to engage him.”
“Yeah, yeah…tell the boss we’ll come back soon.” Idunn waved Cronus off.
Cronus said nothing, and started to walk off. But he stopped.
“One more thing. Have either of you heard anything about the Crystal Empire as of late?” He asked.
“Only that Princess Heartbutt and her boy-toy are running things there.” Ouja shrugged.
“...interesting.” He mused, as he disappeared, and time restarted.
“I can never get a read on that guy.” Idunn sighed.
—-------
Tom sat on a couch in Rarity’s home, while she worked on fixing his jacket. But he was also joined by Sweetie Belle, who was still staring at the Rider in awe.
“Uh…something I can help you with-”
“THANK YOU FOR THE OTHER DAY!” Sweetie Belle shouted nervously.
“Agh…you’re welcome…and loud…” Tom winced.
“S-sorry about that.” The filly stammered “But everyone at school is talking about you! You’re the hero who’s been beating up monsters left and right! You even saved us! Well, that and the red guy.” Sweetie explained. “Is he really in the hospital?”
“Yeah, unfortunately.” Tom replied. “He got attacked in a very nasty place, so he’s out of commission for a while.”
“Maybe…I could go see him?” Sweetie asked.
“I…wouldn’t advise that.” Tom said nervously.
“Aw, why not? I want to thank him too!” Sweetie whined.
“Now, now! Sweetie, darling, you should give the man his space.” Rarity walked into the room, holding Tom’s repaired jacket.
“Voila!” She held the jacket up proudly. “Good as new!”
Tom smiled, and took his jacket. “Thanks, Rarity. It looks better than ever!”
“But of course, darling!” She exclaimed proudly, but then noticed that Tom and Sweetie were both staring at her.
“What? Is there something on my face?”
“Uh, Rarity…you’re glowing.” Tom noted.
“I appreciate the compliment, dear, but-” Rarity started.
“No, I mean you’re LITERALLY glowing with light.” Tom explained. Rarity looked herself over. She was shining with a pale light.
“Ah, I guess this means the map is fixed.” Rarity noted. “It has a job for me, apparently. You too, it seems.”
“Eh?” Tom was confused, but then noted his RideWatch was glowing in the same manner.
“Whoa!” He yelped in surprise. “What is this!?”
Rarity just smiled gently. “Come along, now. We don’t want to keep the map waiting.” She grabbed him by the wrist and led him along.
“Rarity, wait! What’s going on!?” Tom yelped, but was ignored.
—---------
As Rarity dragged Tom with her, they were met by Pinkie Pie, who was also glowing.
“Oooh, did the map pick you too, Rarity?” Pinkie asked excitedly.
“It seems so. Shall we then?” Rarity asked as the three of them entered the castle and made their way to the map room.
“...Pinkie and Rarity’s marks I understand, but what’s that little ‘X’ looking one?” They heard Starlight’s voice talking. Tom just gritted his teeth.
“That’s a good question, actually…” Twilight’s voice continued, as the three of them entered the room.
Starlight looked at the three and just rolled her eyes. “Well, those two make sense, but why is HE here?” She pointed at Tom.
“Starlight, be nice!” Twilight grunted. She then noticed Tom’s watch glowing. “So this mark is Tom’s after all.” She wrote something down in a notepad.
“So why are we here exactly?” Tom asked.
“The map’s chosen the three of us to go on a friendship mission, silly!” Pinkie explained.
“Uh…okay, but why me?” Tom continued his questioning. “I mean, I’m not the friendship expert, I’m the ‘kick monsters in the face’ expert.” The group just shrugged.
“The map does send some unusual groups out, but it’s usually for the best.” Twilight replied.
Tom looked at where the map was indicating they were going. It appeared to be a large castle with a mountain carved into it. “So, where’s this exactly?”
“That’s Canterlot!” Pinkie chimed in. “It’s where the princesses live!”
“Ah, the return of the horse puns- with a vengeance.” Tom thought to himself.
“But, wait a minute- if I’m going to be in Canterlot, what are you guys going to do if another monster attacks? I can’t just leave!” Tom said, worried.
“It’s only going to be for a day.” Twilight said reassuringly. “You’re needed in Canterlot, so don’t worry about us- we’ll be able to manage for one day.”
“...I’ll trust you, Twilight…” Tom relented. Pinkie and Rarity both had conspiratorial grins on their faces.
“Well, what are we waiting for!?” Pinkie exclaimed. “Adventure time!” She grabbed Tom and Rarity by the arms. “It’s time to travel to distant lands! Or Canterlot! Whichever of those things are first!” And like that, the human hero and fashion-forward unicorn were forcefully pulled along by Pinkie.
—--------
An hour’s train ride later, the trio found themselves in Canterlot. As per the norm, the streets were bustling with all sorts of ponies, conducting business and going about their day.
“Ah, Canterlot!” Rarity swooned. “Home to the finest Equestria has to offer!”
“So, what should we do first?” Tom asked. “It’s a big city, so this problem could be anywhere.”
“Silly! You don’t go looking for the problem, the problem comes to us!” Pinkie said, bouncing up and down.
“That doesn’t sound smart.” Tom commented.
“Ahem…well, I have noticed something rather peculiar already.” Rarity pointed to a section of the Canterlot streets that, for some reason, everyone seemed to be going out of their way to avoid.
“Huh…that is weird.” Tom noted. “Think it’s related to the map mission?”
“Well, duh!” Pinkie continued. “The street’s having a problem because nopony’s walking on it!”
Tom was about to raise his hand in objection but Rarity just shook her head slowly and gently pushed his arm back down.
“If I remember correctly, that street is home to the best restaurants in the city. It also goes by the name ‘Restaurant Row’.”
“Alright, then- let’s go!” Pinkie bounced off again.
“Pinkie, darling, please wait for us!” Rarity called after her impatient friend.
“...this is fine.” Tom said to himself. “Totally fine.”
Restaurant Row appeared to be very different once Tom and the girls got close. Many of the shops and buildings were closed down, boarded up with wooden planks.
“Oh my goodness!” Rarity cried out. “What has happened to all the gourmet restaurants?”
“...we better take a look around.” Tom suggested, the other two nodding. The group walked forward, looking for any signs of life.
“This is kinda creepy…” Tom murmured. “And it’s not usually like this, right?”
“Of course not! Normally, this street would be bustling with hungry customers, waiting to try true haute cuisine!” Rarity complained.
“Wait…do you smell what I’m smelling?” Pinkie asked, sniffing at something.
“...I don’t smell anything.” Tom noted, but Rarity also sniffed around.
“No, I smell it too…it smells fragrant. Like herbs.” Rarity noted, as the two of them followed the smell, Tom merely following behind. As they progressed, Tom began smelling it as well.
“It smells like curry.” Tom said.
“Curry? What’s that?” Pinkie asked. “Can you eat it in a hurry? Or even a flurry? We better scurry!”
Tom just breathed in sharply as they moved to the source of the smell, it was a small eatery that, while boarded up as well, had this distinctive smell coming from it.
“The smell’s coming from inside.” Tom said. They approached the door, and opened it, a ding coming from the bell above.
“Hello? Is anyone here?” Tom crept in, but then he saw an older stallion brandishing something!
“YOU STAY OUT OF OUR RESTAURANT YOU EVIL THING!” The stallion swung the object he was holding at Tom, but Tom caught it.
“...were you trying to attack me with a zucchini?” Tom asked, as Pinkie and Rarity joined him.
“...you’re not one of them.” The stallion sighed. “I’m sorry about that.”
“Uh…sure.” Tom rubbed the back of his head in confusion.
“My name is Coriander Cumin, I’m the host here.” Coriander explained. “Or at least I’d like to say that…”
“Father?” A second voice came from further in. “Father, are you alright?”
Another pony, a mare who was wearing simple clothes and an apron, and had her poofy mane held up by a bandana, joined them.
“This is my daughter, Saffron Masala. She’s our cook.” Coriander explained as Saffron did a small curtsy.
“We are sorry for the state of things, but we’ve not had many customers lately.” Saffron sighed.
“So, what exactly IS happening, anyway?” Rarity asked. The father-daughter duo just looked at each other.
“Everyone’s terrified of coming here since the ‘Gluttonous Grasshopper’ appeared.” Saffron explained.
“...the what?” Tom asked incredulously.
“It’s a strange monster that looks like a grasshopper…it started attacking ponies when they were trying to enjoy their meals…and it took them somewhere.” Coriander shuddered. “Since then, we’ve all lived in fear of the creature.”
“Grasshopper…” Pinkie wondered. “But why would a grasshopper do that? I’d think they’d rather hop around in grass.”
“Sir, were there any other details about this monster you or anyone noticed?” Rarity asked.
“It had something printed on its abdomen…I caught the numbers ‘2001’, but not much else.”
“2001…? Could it be?” Tom wondered out loud. But their thoughts were interrupted by the shattering of glass.
“I KNow You’rE IN THere!” A distorted voice growled. “YoU CANNot hiDE youR SUBpar CUisinE from MEEEEE!”
“That sounds like…” Rarity started, stammering in fear.
“An Another Rider!” Pinkie yelped. “Why are they here!?”
“You guys stay back.” Tom said, pulling out his Driver and Watch, and running outside.
“HENSHIN!” Tom yelled out, as his armor formed around him.
Tom observed the attacker. It looked like a strange, grasshopper-like humanoid but whose teeth were exposed by lack of skin. It almost looked like it was grinning.
“Another Agito?” Tom wondered. “Or…another Another Agito?”
The monster snarled. Tom pulled out his weapon, and tried to strike the monster, but it jumped and dodged. It then let out a shrieking howl, prompting Tom to flinch.
“Agh! Loud!” Tom grunted in pain, but then he noticed another monster, just like the first…and then another, and then another.
“What…? An Another Agito horde?!” The horde lunged at him, Tom attempted to hold the line, but he was quickly finding himself outnumbered.
“Alright, I guess I gotta make things Musou!” He quipped as he quickly inserted the GaimWatch into his belt. A large orange-shaped armor came from above, and fell on Tom, merging with him.
“This is my stage now, assholes!” Tom shouted as he began furiously swinging his swords. The horde was slowly being pushed back, but some of them shifted their attention to behind Tom! Pinkie and Rarity were attempting to get Coriander and Saffron to safety, but the horde was targeting them! Tom rushed over, swords swinging.
“GET AWAY FROM MY FRIENDS!” He yelled. But more of the Another Agitos swarmed on him as others surrounded the ponies!
“Daughter…when I give you the signal, you run, and don’t look back.” Coriander murmured.
“But, Father…!” Saffron cried.
“Do not cry for me, daughter. I will protect my greatest treasure of all, with my life.” He said calmly, resigned to his fate. He pulled a few vegetables from his pocket and began throwing them haphazardly at the horde!
“GO! NOW!” He yelled, as Pinkie and Rarity dragged Saffron behind them.
The horde ominously closed in on the older stallion…
“I thiNK I’m THE eVIL of the PEOple…” The horde droned.
“PraISe THe GlORY of THE EVIL!” They yelled, as they closed in…and Coriander stood, having been converted into another of the Another Agitos….but his suit seemed to take on a red tint. He turned to Tom…
And then began jerking his arm and head around in a rhythmic manner.
“GIRLY MAAAAAAN!” He roared as he lunged at Tom, the Rider jumping back while the monster started dancing, the rest of the horde mimicking his movements.
“Girly Man!” The lead monster, formerly known as Coriander Cumin, continued dancing. “Girly Man-man-man-man-man-man…Girly Man-man-man-man-man-man…” Tom just stared, bewildered at the bizarre scene, before shaking his head. With a sword in each hand, he rushed the horde again, only for them all to spin and knock him back, not breaking ranks at all!
“Gosh, my old calculator ain’t got no bow!” The monster sang. “Nipple-y man I made, he ate motorboats!”
“The hell are these lyrics!?” Tom thought to himself, as he changed tactics and undid the GaimArmor. He then took his Edge of Time and turned into a gun, taking aim at the monsters.
“Calm down and park that comfy shin guard armor!” The monster continued singing while Tom attempted to hit it with a barrage of shots, only for the monsters to dodge in perfect time. “Welcome the dude who ain’t the buyer of mugs! Girly Man!” The monster shoved its waist in the air suggestively, as if it were taunting the young hero!
“Why you…!” Tom kept firing, but the monsters just dodged every shot, as it continued singing “Girly Man-man-man-man-man-man…” But then one of the shots managed to hit a monster in the leg. The entire group turned to Tom and rushed him.
“RRRRRRRIIIIIIIPPPPP YOUR MAAAAAAAA!” The leader yelled.
“Attention Canterlot! A horde of monsters has begun attacking the area near Restaurant Row! Please scream and run around in circles!” A voice rang out as if amplified by a megaphone.
“Woo, I’m coming! Mutton goes YAY!” The monsters began attacking Tom in sequence, Tom barely being able to withstand the blows. “Cook the chicano’s day! Mucho caliente!”
Tom quickly shifted his gun back into a sword and flailed, creating an opening to escape from the horde’s grasp. He turned back to the monsters, still absorbed in their weird parody dance.
“I’ll eat some wasabi on my dude!” The monster sang as it and its comrades began systematically attacking the closed restaurants. “All my body just got ruled, kinda like a fist on road! One more body for your car! Ooh, ooh, Papa’s restaurant!” At that last part, the horde turned its attention to the eatery that Coriander and Saffron called home.
“Father, no!” Saffron called out. “Please, wake up!”
“Ooooh, you’ll be pumping Ovaltine!” The monster ignored Saffron’s pleas as it slowly marched towards the small restaurant. “Or Salty Shanty’s one-shot tea!”
“Roll, jam, belching, raving son…Mork, and bull and muumuued sour!” The monsters began picking up stones and other objects.
“KILLER, KILL HER! KILLER, KILL HER! KILLER, KILL HER! KILLER, KILL HER! GIRLY MAN!” The monster pointed to the store…
“PleASE Don’t BUY the BAld Seal…” The horde groaned as they began throwing stones! Tom jumped out in front, doing his best to deflect the stones, with Pinkie coming back and firing shots from her party cannon to try to counter the projectiles.
Saffron then ran into the fray and held her arms out in front of the monsters!
“Father, it’s me! Do you not recognize your own daughter!?” She asked with tears in her eyes.
“M…MOVE THEN, CONNIE! LET ME GO YAY!” The monster pushed Saffron out of the way. “CAUSE IT’S A YARDLESS DAY, CONGA LINE TOO, GOOD DAY!”
“Saffron!” Pinkie called out.
“I’ve got to do something…but those monsters seem to counter everything I throw at them!” Tom thought, then he noticed that there were many windows around…
“I have to survive this!” He produced the RyukiWatch and inserted it into his belt.
“RIDER TIME! Advent! RYUUUUKII~” The belt sang as his armor was replaced with portions of silver, red and black. His shoulders gained pauldrons that looked like the heads of dragons, and his left arm gained a strange glove, also shaped like a dragon. His helm also changed into one resembling the slitted hoods of knights.
“Salad is a cargo you could doooo!” The monster continued.
“I’ve had about enough of this.” Tom grunted as he dived at the monster, and the monster sidestepped.
“Chet’s my buddy, Chester Row! Called him at the coaster room! Smashing all the people up! It’s the child no parka rule!” The monster taunted, but Tom seemed to be gone.
“Oh, laddie, ready, bite your knee!” The singing continued as the horde began looking for the Rider. “Oooh, conk a Collie, conquer he!”
Tom slipped through the window surfaces until he was behind the horde. He quietly crept behind them, and began to stealthily knock them out, one by one.
“Deal them, peel them, people look shocked! Move two, then you got private shower!” The singing continued, the monster unaware of its dwindling party. Soon, only a few of the monsters remained.
“KILLER, KILL HER! KILLER, KILL HER! KILLER, KILL HER! KILLER, KILL HER!” The monster began ranting again, but by that time, only he and a few stragglers remained.
“Oh, will you SHUT UP ALREADY!” Tom yelled as he swung his sword at the red monster from behind. The monster fell over, unconscious.
“...that wasn’t it?” Tom asked. He looked around, and saw one of the monsters trying to sneak off. Sighing, he activated the finisher on his belt.
“FINISH TIME! RYUKI!” A large, metallic dragon manifested around him and lunged at the Another Agito, grabbing it in its mouth.
“WhaT!?” The monster roared.
“FINAL TIME BREAK!” The belt announced as Tom leapt in the air, then the dragon spat the Another Rider onto the ground, Tom’s kick smashing it into the ground!
The monster groaned, and separated from the watch. It was an elderly looking mare in a business suit.
“Uggghhh…” she groaned. The other monsters began to turn back to normal as well.
Tom picked up the AgitoWatch and shined the light of his watch on it to fix it.
“Give me that…” A voice came from behind him. It was the mare that was previously Another Agito.
“Huh?” Tom asked.
“I SAID GIVE ME THAT WATCH, HEATHEN!” The mare yelled.
“Whoa!” Tom flinched. “What’s your problem?”
“That’s Zesty Gourmand!” Rarity gasped, scandalized. “You were the Another Rider?”
“Argh! I was about to cleanse the entire city of worthless food, until only the gourmet cuisine I prescribed would be eaten!” Zesty ranted.
“...that’s what this was all about?” Tom sighed. “Dumb motive for a dumb fight.”
“No! I will not be bested by some monkey in a costume!” She lunged at Tom, but Tom sidestepped and restrained her.
“Lady, you have ISSUES!” Tom replied.
“We’ll take it from here, Kamen Rider.” Another voice came. Tom recognized the mare.
“Wait, Officer Rights?” Tom asked. The mare looked perplexed, but then realized what he meant.
“Oh yeah, you must have met my twin sister over in Ponyville.” She explained.
“Wait, twins?” Tom asked.
“Actually, we’re decuplets.” The policemare explained, holding a photo that showed ten identical mares in police costumes.
“...you wouldn’t happen to have some cousins like that, but they’re all nurses, do you?” Tom laughed.
“Huh, you met the Redhearts too.” She noted.
Tom just groaned. “I WAS KIDDING!”
The cops had Zesty restrained in a straitjacket as she was thrashing about, raving madly and foaming at the mouth.
“A shame…she could have used her influence for good, but was so consumed by her own ego that she became a monster.” Rarity shook her head.
“Father!” Saffron ran over to the now restored Coriander. “Father, speak to me!”
“Oooof…I feel like I just got hit by an entire caravan…” He groaned.
“Oh, father!” She cried as she hugged her dad, and he returned the embrace.
Soon, another glow came from Pinkie, Rarity and Tom’s watch before dispersing.
“Misshon comprete!” Pinkie said in a bad Engrish accent.
“I wouldn’t say that.” Tom pointed to the now destroyed Restaurant Row.
“You needn’t worry about us.” Coriander came over to them. “We will rebuild our businesses, better than ever.”
“But we hope you come back sometime, when we’re back in business. We will have you as our guests of honor!”
“Ooooh, how divine!” Rarity again swooned.
Tom just shrugged, as the three began to help where they could.
A fair distance away, Ouja was watching through binoculars. He was clutching them tightly, in anger.
“That little bastard! How did he get here!?” He raged.
“It was fun while it lasted.” Idunn lamented. “But our job here is done.”
“RRRGH!” Ouja growled. “I oughta go down there and-”
“You will do no such thing, Ouja.” Cronus reappeared behind them.
“I am NOT in the mood!” Ouja pouted.
“You are to return to base immediately. Your mission is complete.” Cronus pointed out.
Ouja was about to attack, but stopped himself. “I…I can’t turn down the boss, after all.” He stared at his driver, sadly.
“None of us can.” Idunn interjected. “Let’s go, the sound of cooperation is starting to make me feel sick.”
The villains opened a portal, and left, no trace remaining of their presence…
—----
In another area of Canterlot, a lone pegasus filly kicked a can down an alleyway.
“So some monsters showed up and started wrecking a bunch of restaurants. Who cares?” She moped. “I don’t. I’m alone. I always have been. Maybe I always will be, too.”
She kicked the can again, but it bounced off someone.
“Huh?” She looked at the being who was in front of her, who was hit by the can. He looked like a primate of sorts, but without much fur, if any. He was wearing a trenchcoat, a hat and glasses, and he looked at the filly with curiosity.
“A little one like you, all alone?” He asked, his voice dripping with artificial concern.
“What’s it to you?” The filly asked. “No one wants an orphan. No one ever does.”
“Do you want others to want you?” The man asked back.
“Huh?” The filly was confused.
“I will give you a home. I will give you food, shelter, and family, as you desire.” He reached into his pocket and held out a small, urn-shaped object. “But only if you take this.”
The filly hesitated for a moment. This sounded too good to be true, right? But…she didn’t want to be alone anymore… she reached out and took the urn.
“From now on, you are my daughter. And your name is…?” The man asked.
“Cozy, sir…Cozy Glow.” The man picked Cozy up and held her in a hug, Cozy nuzzling him and being unaware of the sinister smirk on his face…
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Can't escape the officer jenny/nurse joy syndrome even in Equestria.
Crazy Glow? What she's doing there and I didn't know you pull the Officer Jenny and Nurse Joy thing.
But that's a nice story. Good luck on Chapter 10 and hope that Tom needs some R&R with Twilight.
11204924
That's what I said.
The part about the lyrics is sure weird and funny.
And the reference to the Pokemon anime with multiple Officer Jennys/Nurse Joys was hilarious.
Surprised that Cozy Glow is going to become a Grudge Rider.
Since the Cutie Map is fixed and is now calling characters onto missions, wonder if it will call on Spike for some missions?
Since sadly in the show he was only called once and that only time was due to something he accidently caused, which was aggravating.
References that I found:
Adventure time
How a realist rebuilt a kingdom
Hellsing abridged
11205170
Well, this is Spike's mess.
11205396
What do you mean?
I was just pointing out it was annoying in the show that he was only called by the map once while it was only just something he accidently caused.
11205403
I’m just saying that Spike should have fix it sooner than later with Thorax and Ember.
Cronus and cozy glow... now I know why I hate this chapter
11205407
More like the show writers should have done something instead of making Spike look like a fool being the only time he got called on by the Map.
11205649
Well, he's just a sidekick to the Mane 6.
11157668
BTW, when you wrote about the mark that summoned Rarity, Pinkie and Tom, you mean the personal emblem of Zi-O isn't it?
11205711
Yes, that's right. It'd be the closest thing Tom has to a mark, after all.
11205740
So true.
11205740
And again, good luck on Chapter 10.
11205681
Which is just annoying the show writers treated him like that.
11206557
Who?
11206572
I am talking about Spike.
11206584
Oh, the sidekick. He may not be important, but he's the heart of the team.
11207425
TBH, Chapter 8 wasn't intended to be a two-parter, I just split it in half because it got too big. Hence when I refer to it, I treat it as one chapter.
11207435
Okay then.
11206595
Really prefer he's not stuck as the sidekick though..
11210673
Hope he plays something important since he is the heart of the Mane 6.
11210682
Hopefully not the sidekick.
I still had problems on how Power Ponies went.
11211954
Good point.
Oh, you've got to be kidding me.