Washout For Your Feelings

by Beakwood

Frailty

"So.... what do you want to talk about?"

"Look, some shit happened. I... I just don't feel good right now. I rather we didn't talk, but..."

"But?"

"I know I was kinda of an ass to ya back at the Wonderbolt's field. Sorry about that, I've been dealing with too much and I don't really feel like dealing with that crap anymore. I want to take vacations, and after that... figure out what the fuck I'm supposed to do with what's left of the team."

"Huh, understandable, but what do you mean with 'what's left of the team'?"

"Thunder... fuck. I... I kinda talked with the others about the project of joining up with the Bolts and.... well, they quit."

"What?!"

Lightning trotted by him, making her way to the stallion's room without looking back. Thunderlane stared, puzzled at what he's been told and the mare's decision of heading towards his room without a second thought. He closed the front door and went after her, few seconds of hesitation before entering the room, worried about her current state of mind. Dust was sprayed over his bed, head buried into his sheets, making very clear she wasn't really in the mood to talk.

He silently made his way near the bed, giving her despondent form a brief look before slowly climbing over to join her. There's not much for him to do if not show support by being at her side, not all the times words would be needed for her to understand that he would be there for her. Lightning barely reacted as the stallion laid down at her side, feeling the warmth of his fur on her own. Few quiet minutes went by, in which Thunderlane patiently awaited for her to speak up.

But she didn't. Silence was all the reward he got for his patience. With a sigh, the stallion slowly brought his head near hears, nibbling at one of her ears as a way to get her attention. The reaction he got was the muffled chuckles from the mare.

"Alright, alright, ya win." She said with a laugh, finally turning her head around to face the stallion. Despite the smile on her face it was clear she was still struggling to get her head around on whatever happened. "Since when you're this touchy?" She asked with a teasing voice. Thunderlane raised an eyebrow.

"I hope you don't mind? I mean, since we are a thing I imagine we have liberties towards each other." He pondered with a smirk. "Besides, in a way, this is enjoyable."

Lightning chuckled, looking somewhat pleased as she rolled around until she was laying on her back. She fixated her gaze on the roof with a pensive stare.

"Rolling and Shorty... well, they did not like at all about the idea of the joint effort. To put it lightly, Rolling got so upset she actually spoke a full sentence I could understand clearly. Which also made me realize she was messing with me all this time by talking like a weirdo. Anyway, they made clear they did not want to take part with anything involving Wonderbolts, and..."

Her sudden hesitation made the stallion slightly worried, aware they were getting around the problem that had her in such a despondent mood.

"Come on Dusty, talk to me. If there's somepony you can always count to help you with something, that will be me. No matter what." Thunderlane encouraged. Lightning huffed, unsure if she could actually take that as a genuine promise or the stallion just saying it for her sake.

"There's a lot on my head right now. Trust me, I will say it anyway. It's just... not now. I wanna take the day off and relax for a change. Speaking of it..." She eyed him with a scrutinizing gaze that took Thunder aback. "When we ever gonna get laid?"

Thunderlane blinked. His jaw opening slightly but no sound came from. His mind going blank as he felt the temperature in the room skyrocket all of sudden.

"Huh... I... don't... if you want... I mean..." Thunderlane mumbled, struggling to think of a proper sentence. Dust rolled her eyes at his incoherent talk.

"We are here, on your bed. Pretty sure Rumble ain't here either. So... why not?" She asked more heatedly this time around. Thunderlane sighed heavily, seeing no way to avoid this particular endeavor any further.

"Yeah, yeah. I guess so." He replied morosely. Lightning raised an eyebrow at the stallion's mood shift.

"Woah, I mean, I don't think I'm the hottest mare out there, but at least I hoped you would be somewhat excited. " She half joked, but with a touch of disappointment.

"That's not what I meant!" Thunderlane quickly replied, coming short of panicking. "You're gorgeous! I'm just... a bit scared. That's all!" He admitted while blushing profusely. Lightning nodded slowly, her eyes studying the stallion's expression of guilt.

"You don't need to worry. I told ya before I will take the lead on this sort of stuff. Just don't expect me to be very... err, aware of what a stallion really likes." She added with a smirk. "Now, come here." She said as her forelegs clutched his neck and dragged him closer to her. "Let's start with something simple and see where to go from there."

Thunderlane couldn't help the nervous smile on his face. He forced himself to look down at the mare under him, her gaze setting on him with the intent of a predator. He sighed internally as he accepted his fate, his eyes closing as his muzzle approached hers and he-

"YO, THUNDER, YOU THERE?!"

"You gotta be fucking kidding me..." Lightning muttered, looking beyond pissed at the interruption. "Is that Rainbow Dash? I will kill her for good this time."

"Calm down." Thunder said as he kept the mare from raising of the bed. "I will just tell her off and be right back. Stay here, okay?" He asked gently enough. Dust huffed.

"You're lucky you're so damn adorable, fiiiine. I will wait." She relented with a frown. "Get something for us to drink on the way back."

Thunderlane rolled his eyes before he let go of the mare, rolling on himself to land on all fours on the wooden floor. Despite feeling somewhat grateful for the distraction, he couldn't help but understand Dust's frustration with another interruption as both were having a time of their own. This sort of thing has to stop happening so often, otherwise it could start damaging their relationship.

'Maybe we should go take vacations somewhere.' The stallion thought hopefully, but immediately squished that idea. There was no way for him to go off anywhere for too long and have somepony else look after Rumble. It was challenging enough to get anypony to do it so while he's been away with the Wonderbolts for this last season. Which was another reason for him to not regret dropping out. Being with Lightning's team would not demand from him to set hoof anywhere else for too long.

He came by the front door wearily, his mind racing to understand what the hay could Rainbow want now from him.

"Look, Rainbow, whatever yo-

Thunderlane paused as he opened the door fully, his eyes finding the unexpected purple irises of Fleetfoot instead of Rainbow's.

"Fleet? What you're doing here?" He asked dubiously. The mare grinned somewhat apologetically.

"It's kind of a odd one, I know. Huh, my uncle asked me to drop by and ask you if you're okay to talk with him at a later time, at his house of course. Whenever you feel like it just hit me up and I will let him know." She said slowly, seemingly uncomfortable with something. "Say, is everything alright? Dusty looked very pissed before leaving."

"Yeah, yeah. She was in a bad mood after encountering her cousin at the Academy." Thunderlane replied distractedly, his mind wondering what could the General possibly want to talk with him. "You know, Stinger?"

"Oh! No way!" Fleetfoot shouted, shock etched across her face. "They're cousins?! Shit... no wonder she's pissed. Stinger is nowhere near her level, that much I'm sure of. Not that I think he's bad!" She quickly added, looking slightly embarrassed. "Is just... quite obvious if you saw both of them out there."

"I guess so. Is... there anything else you wanted to talk?" Thunderlane desperately hoped this talk wouldn't take too long. Fleetfoot raised an eyebrow.

"Huh, yeah? You busy or something?" She asked dubiously. The stallion sighed in defeat.

"Dusty is in here, and she is kinda waiting, sooo..." He said while making a empty gesture with his hoof. Fleefoot's eyes widened considerably before narrowing on a coy look.

"Ooooh, I seeeee. Heheh, wanna buck her silly, don't ya?" She said mirthfully. Thunderlane's reaction being a very intense glare in return. "What? I'm just teasing. Hey, good for you both! That helps a lot with stress, I sure as Tartarus could use somepony to give me a better time. At least I'm not a dry desert like Spitfire, one of these days she's going to pop a vein. All because she can't convince herself to replace that stick up her arse with Soarin instead."

"..."

"What?! Everypony knows he's got it bad for her." The mare justified indignantly. He rolled his eyes, not in the mood for talking about anypony else at the moment.

"Sure, we do. Yet, that's between them. One day Soarin will find a way to get her to do something else than work." He replied without actually believing it. As much Thunderlane liked Soarin, the guy was just too friendly around the Captain, he was clueless about dropping anyt hints or how to break through her shell of constant seriousness.

"Say, how come you've been single this far? A hotshot like you would've found a partner long ago." She asked, much to his chagrin.

"Why don't you ask Cloud Kicker? I'm pretty sure she would give you all the details needed." He replied somewhat testily, still feeling a bit annoyed with the way the blonde mare went behind his back to make sure he remained safe from pretenders.

"Cloud Kicker? Sounds familiar... where do I find her?"

"Eh, check around the Ponyville's Weather Office. She is usually there most part of the day. She leads the Weather Team around here, shouldn't be too hard to see her around."

"Sounds like a plan." Fleetfoot said but, as she started turning around, she came to a sudden stop, looking back a him briefly with a conflicted expression on her face. The stallion raised an eyebrow at the strange behavior.

"What is it?" He asked, feeling slightly curious, the mare shrugged sheepishly.

"Nothing. Is just... I kinda remember... you know, seeing your dad few times when I was little."

Thunderlane didn't say anything at first, caught off guard by the sudden mention of his father. Hearing it from Fleetfoot was completely unexpected. He nodded silently, unsure of what to think. Despite his silence she kept on talking.

"Yeah, I don't remember seeing you. Yet I saw him around with few other officers from that time. A couple of mares too." She added with a smirk. "He sure was the type to swoon mares around, if what I heard from before is true. "

"Huh, guess I wouldn't notice being that young. I do remember him being very playful with mom. I... he was really cool." Thunderlane acquiesced with the mare's reminiscence. "He... I miss him... everyday. Mom too."

"...I didn't want to bring that up like this. I'm sorry... I just... thought you should know I saw him before. I had no idea he was your father. Nopony had. Not sure why he kept it hidden for so long." Fleetfoot quickly said, worried that she made him upset. Thunderlane nodded slowly.

"I... it's okay. I don't really know either. If I had to guess... he probably just wanted us to grow away from that kind of life, being famous and all of that. It worked."

Fleetfoot looked unsure, internally wondering if she should say something else, but decided against it.

"Alright, I better get back. Last I saw Spitfire she was getting a call onto the office from my uncle. I can only guess how well that will go. Say hi to Dusty for me?"

"Sure thing, see you around? I guess you will all take leave now?" He asked with a faint smile. Fleetfoot chuckled.

"I sure hope so! I'm wasted! Of course we can't let shape drop, but I'm looking forward to what we will be doing next season. I'm sure Dusty will have plenty of new stuff for us to try." She said excitedly. "For once I don't have to worry about getting into a routine that will kill me right of the start. And best of yet, no more yelling." She added with a smirk. "No disrespect to the Captain, but it was getting insufferable."

Thunderlane nodded in agreement, before tilting his head slightly as a thought occurred to him.

'What exactly would McFly be telling Spitfire though?'

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Please, take a seat, this might take long."

"No need sir, I'm fine as it is."

"Well, starting with attitude, aren't we?... take a seat. Order."

Spitfire didn't say anything. She moved slowly towards the vacant chair at the front of her own office desk. McFly was sitting on the other side, distracted as he's checking over countless paperwork, his tone betrayed no emotion, which made it extremely difficult for the mare to predict what she's getting into.

"Now, since we are somewhat mitigating the issue we had regarding the Washouts with this joint effort, there's still things to be addressed regarding our side. Primarily, just what in Celestia's name were you thinking with your recruiting methods?" He asked severely, attention shifting towards the mare with a narrow glance. "I've spent hours reading reports from ever since you became a Captain, I've come in contact with Fire Streak aswell. He gave me very interesting details regarding what happened in the past few years. How about we start with our recruiting rate? I don't even feel like asking why, under your command, the Wonderbolts have the lowest amount of recruits in their whole history. One of each TWO HUNDRED recruits ever make into the cadet program!" McFly slammed a hoof on the desk, his frustration finally showing. "Are you fucking kidding me?! Do you have any idea what you're doing with this institution?! Barbarizing these potential flyers with your methods that are enough to drive even a healthy Earth pony to their limit?! You're not making them better flyers by breaking them apart Spitfire! Why can't you understand that?! There's a lot more to being a Wonderbolt than speed or strength, but it seems you don't get that at all!" He huffed, scattering papers left and right, his jaw tightening as he came across even more grim numbers. "We've lost a lot of interest from the public lately, which explains our struggles for getting income, not to mention the number of Academy applications has dropped to nearly a dozen per season, what in the actual Tartarus is this crap?! We had HUNDREDS of ponies applying each MONTH! Where did they all go?!"

Spitfire remained still, suddenly feeling lost as to how even respond to these statistics. She knew things were bad, but she hadn't realize that it might have something to do with her directly. She has been so focused on getting things done her way, that the idea of being at fault for everything was not something that ever crossed her mind. Spitifire never had any reason to believe that her way of doing things was not working but, seeing the General openly seething over the stacks of papers that she signed and stored into the archives, it gave Spitfire a very uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"I've had countless reports of previous cadets openly complaining about you specifically, do you have any idea how many ponies you turned away from the Wonderbolts, made them actually not wanting to ever see us again?" McFly asked, his dry tone was the only warning Spitfire had to not open her mouth at any circumstance. "It only gets worse, is not just cadets and recruits, but your colleagues too. Now, you've known Fleetfoot for many years, and she always spoke highly of you. Which is one of the main reasons I relented about even allowing somepony as young as you to be a captain. I expected mistakes to happen, they eventually will happen. Yet, Fleet made it very clear that she did not like the pony you've become along the years, and she absolutely loathes your training methods. Any other day I would've said she's just whining about doing work, but when even fucking Silver Lining comes to me, concerned about the amount you're stressing the team, I cannot turn a blind eye to what's going on. Now, before we move on about administration issues, let's talk about why the Washouts exist."

Spitfire tensed. Aware that this conversation was about to shift into a direction she had no way of escaping from, not that she has been even remotely safe anyway.

"It all comes to few factors, but I will narrow it down." He said, reclining back onto the sit with a tired look. "I want you to tell me why did you expel Lightning Dust from the Academy. I want the truth, not excuses."

"I... Lightning displayed disregard for the safety of her fello-

"What was the display?" Spitfire paused at the abrupt interrupt, it seems that McFly was not gonna let her build any terrain to defend herself on this one.

"She caused a tornado to run wild across Academy grounds, endangering a group of ponies that were on a balloon."

"Why there were ponies on a balloon nearby?" He asked curtly. Spitfire frowned lightly, that incident was on several reports that the General surely has read on, why was he asking about this again?

"They were visitors, som-

"I was not aware you were allowing visitors within few days of training." He pointed out with a dry chuckle. Spitfire felt a bolt of irritation at the insinuation she was being lax about regulation.

"I did not!" She replied quickly. McFly raised an eyebrow. "Sir. They were not cleared for entering grounds, nor had informed anypony about their visit."

"Therefore, it's not exactly anypony's fault if some civilians got into trouble for trespassing military airspace."

"Well, no. It is not." Spitfire relented, feeling that dread in her stomach growing bigger. "Yet, Dust had committed other offenses before that day."

"And why didn't you reprehend her for doing it so? Didn't you see her doing it?" He asked more calmly this time around, which made Spitfire even more wary.

"I... did... I just..."

"Spitfire.... I want the truth. Nothing else."

"I was... busy." McFly narrowed his eyes, his jaw tightening considerably.

"Busy doing what?"

"I was... signing... autographs."

There, she said it. The thing she worked so hard to avoid anypony finding out, but she finally came to a dead end. At the time of Rainbow's and Lightining's first Academy days, she was overloaded with paperwork and, to make matters worse, a demand from their sponsor regarding fan material. She didn't think it would be a problem to sign some photos, figuring that her instructors could take care a dozen recruits while she was away a couple of hours.

"So let me get this straight. You, the fucking drill instructor, decided to take some time away for your fanbase, when instead you should be monitoring your recruits and making sure they got the basics right away." McFly pondered every word he said with a touch of incredulity. "And this happened few other times the following days. Yet, I got reports saying you were present at the training grounds during the incident with Rainbow's wing. Tell me, why you said nothing on that event?"

"I... wasn't aware she was actually hurt. She seemed hesitant, which had me confused for a moment, but I was not sure why."

"Then why you didn't ask?!" McFly retorted, frustration showing again. He could hardly believe the negligence being revealed right now. Spitfire frowned, looking annoyed all of sudden.

"Why?! They get cramps, scratches, and even some cuts here and there. It's normal, why I have to hold their hoof for everything?"

"Because you're the FUCKING LEADER" McFly raised from his seat, incensed beyond belief. He trotted towards the window, a hoof pulling his face as he tried his best to not go into a rant. "Do not keep deluding yourself into thinking we are military, WE ARE NOT! Those times are centuries behind us! You may think Equestria needs us to be back into a frontline, but nothing that came these past years was something we would've been able to fight back. Or should I remind you that time you, Soarin and Fleet were outdone by a Unicorn falling from the sky while screaming frantically?"

Spitfire huffed, that memory was one of the worst humiliations she suffered in her career.

"Or perhaps your absence on Nightmare's return? The failure of dealing with Chrysalis? Tirek? When Spike turned into a giant monster? I could go on for more if I wanted to, there's not a single occasion the Wonderbolts saved Equestria from ANYTHING. Because it is NOT our job!" He chastised, shaking his head at how misguided Spitfire's intentions to the corporation led them astray. "I heard enough. This joint operation may actually give us a better grasp of minor problems, but we are simply not made to deal with such major magical menaces."

"But we cannot just ignore those threats! Even if we don't do much, we still have to do something." Spitfire said, feeling disheartened at everything that's being said regarding her and the Wonderbolts. McFly turned around to look at her, his expression solemn.

"I get you want to be like the heroes you looked up when you were a filly? Wanting that is not a problem, but the way you go about it has helped nopony. If you think you got what it takes to be a leader, well, you don't. Wanna learn it? Simple, you can start by talking with Dust and apologizing for your immense fuck up. After that, you have a few dozen more to apologize towards. Humbling thing to do, isn't it? You want to be a good leader? You can start by admitting you were wrong. I don't care if they forgive you or not, just get it done. You're dismissed."

Author's Note:

Been a long time since an update, but I got lot of things running and life overall. Wish I had time for updating more, but is just not possible, sorry. :(

Comments

[Tyleks]

holy shit, it's been almost a year!
Dude, thanks for still not abandoning this wonderful fic. Love it!

[Silent Wing]

I don't care how long it takes you to update, since the quality of those always prooves to be worth the wait.

In fact, a good part of the stories I read, update only frequently and the content is always amazing.

[Beakwood]

11354291
I think the most surprising is that this is already 4 years old since publish. Oof, time really flies.

[Beakwood]

11354323
I really wish it didn't take that long, but I'm at that age of working and keeping life stable until I get comfortable again. Thanks for sticking around folks :)

[Silent Wing]

11354535
Only? Borrowed Time, another story I read, is already seven years old and has only forty eight chapters. Yet, it is one of my top favorites.

[Apothesis Cannon]

Hope to see more soon!

[Beakwood]

11509008
Funny thing is that the next chapter is ready, I just need to edit. I'm overloaded with things to do. I will try whenever possible.

[Apothesis Cannon]

11509984
I'm looking forward to it then!