Washout For Your Feelings

by Beakwood

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

The day after Lightning's unexpected visit went smoothly as any other normal day at Ponyville. Thunderlane managed to schedule himself free on the weekend so he could be present at one of the Washouts presentations. Surprisingly enough, most of the Weather team was off during that same day.

According to Cloud Kicker, who was the current Weather Manager since Rainbow Dash couldn't perform that occupation anymore, all the pegasus were very interested on watching this new stunt troop, especially since it was a flying team after all.

"I mean, there has been a ton said about them these last few days." The blonde mare commented while flying near the mohawk stallion. "It's getting everypony really hyped from what I could see. They must be something really different from the Wonderbolts."

Both pegasus were positioning rain clouds over Sweet Apple Acres, a 'request' from Applejack. The Earth mare was annoyed with the cancelled rainstorm, one that was scheduled for that specific weekend ever since the start of the month.

"Yeah, I guess so." Thunderlane replied distractedly. He wasn't sure of what to think of the new stunt troop.

A lot of the previous morning still clustered his thoughts with persistence. He moved small dark clouds into a tight mass , only focusing at the task when dealing with electric clouds. The stallion had been feeling perturbed with Lightning's sudden departure, even if it was a bit of a relief at that time.

Some of his worry must've reflect outside since Cloud Kicker, more often than not, was glancing at him at each small cloud piece he set togheter, his wing flaps noticeably slower than usual.

He pretended to ignore her attempts at striking on a conversation, no doubt the mare wanted to grab his attention for the sake of learning what had him looking so troubled. Yet, he wasn't sure that not talking about his personal issues would make things better. Cloud Kicker probably was the best mare to offer Thunderlane any kind of advice he needed in regards of...

'I'm not even sure if is actual love or just infatuation.' The stallion thought, unsure of how to describe his feelings towards Lightning Dust. 'But Kicks is the only mare I would trust enough to ask. She plays for the other team after all.'

Thunderlane couldn't help the cheesy grin on his face. Fond memories of Kicker's antics still fresh in his memory, adventurous times of when he was younger and struggling to raise his little brother by himself.

While it was true that Cloud Chaser and Flitter played a larger role in helping to raise Rumble, Cloud Kicker was the one pony to help Thunderlane understand how to raise him in a brotherly sense. The blonde mare was very independent on her own, but life experiences taught her valuable lessons in regards to certain family aspects.

One of them being compromise, something that required a lot of sacrifice from part of his life in order for Rumble to succeed in his own.

'You can't live up your life freely as anypony would desire. If you want your brother to have anything, you need to give up of something.'

Only of late Thunderlane came to realize that her advice could be applied to anypony who wanted to start a family. And lacked financial resources for it.

If sacrifice meant living on the ground, inside a small house with two small bedrooms, one kitchen/living room and a split bathroom, not ever having any kind of vacations in years, staying out most of his time working out for extra bits, being yelled at by a hot-headed Weather manager every day for slacking off when he tried to catch up a bit of his sleep, selling most of the few belongings his parents left for him before uneventful circumstances happened, not dating anypony at all and scarcely going out with his friends anywhere...then, yes. He was sure he made enough of a sacrifice.

Yet, despite Thunderlane feeling miserable few times, it was all worthy to see his little brother go off to sleep every night, happy and healthy like any other foal with good parents.

But things changed for the best, after enduring years of suffering and anxiety, he finally saw life offer him more opportunities.

He became a Wonderbolt, something not even Thunderlane himself was sure he would ever accomplish, it was well known how rare of a circumstance it was for a pegasus to join the Wonderbolt ranks. It was so shocking and unexpected that he felt compelled to ask Spitfire if she was serious when she came to his house to inform him of the promotion.

Obviously it annoyed Spitfire for him to think she was joking, but it was a fair reaction due the unlikely of such thing happening shortly after Rainbow Dash becoming a full fledged member of the bolts.

He could understand Lightning's bitterness in regards to his promotion. There was no way he would've been granted this opportunity if she hadn't screw up back at the Academy, but rather than be mad at him she seemed okay with it. Perhaps she wasn't concerned anymore about not being a Wonderbolt.

Mostly because she probably hated the Wonderbolts at this point. Which was something that the stallion had to adress during her visit. Thunderlane is a Wonderbolt too after all.

Lightning seemed shocked at first when Thunderlane asked if she thought less of him for being at Wonderbolt.

'W-What? No! Of course not. I...I mean, you're different from them. Sure, ya have to suck up the rules and all that crap, but that doesn't mean ya only care about being a hotshot.'

To say her reply surprised Thunderlane was sort of an understatement. Her reason for believing him to be different definitely put his feelings for her to the test.

'Being awesome and popular is great! What other reason there is to be a Wonderbolt? But talking with ya these last weeks...for ya it meant proving ya brother that dreams can become true...as long ya believe in those who care about ya. Pfff, yeah. I don't really believe that, but ya did it for the sake of somepony else, not your own. That's why ya different.'

Thunderlane had to digest a lot of problematic things that were hidden in her words. Most of it was confusing and didn't really made any sense at first. But once he started to set the pieces for the bigger picture...

Lightning Dust wanted the fame, she wanted the recognition, to be the best and prove it to anypony, no matter what. Yet, she failed to understand that it took more than just amazing flying performances to reach that particular spot of greatness.

Despite that particular flaw of her, in which she seemed unable to understand she was at fault in regards to her behavior, Lightning Dust understood what empathy was all about. And that was confusing Thunderlane every time he thought about it.

'She does understand about somepony caring about others. But...she doesn't seem to know what it feels like to care about somepony else. How does that even work?'!

The stallion flared his nostrils in exasperation. Why mares are so complicated?

"You feeling alright Thunder?" The gentle voice of Cloud Kicker reached the stallion's ears, concern washing over her words as she spoke. "I can get Sunshower to set the rest of the clouds if you have a lot in your hooves."

"Nah, it's alright." Thunderlane replied, waving a hoof dismissively as he pushed another small layer of dark clouds into the sizeable Cumulus. "Just got a lot in mind today, that's all."

"Oh? Now I'm curious. Why we don't talk about what's stressing you out then? We still got few hours to waste here anyways, and I definitely picked you up for this job so we could catch up for old times sake." The purple mare said with a certain amount of cheerfulness.

'Figures'"Fine, but you better keep this between us. No gossip, okay?" Thunderlane replied, the feeble attempt on making himself sound serious evaporating quickly. The anxiety he felt about revealing his feelings for a mare to one of his friends was just too strong to mask.

It seemed that Kicker sensed the stallion's internal distress, she adopted a more disciplined stance towards him before speaking.

"Gotcha, do I have to Pinkie promise too?" She asked expectantly. Thunderlane shook his head. " Then I promise as a friend to not speak of any of this, whatever it is, to anypony else that not you in the future."

The stallion couldn't help but chuckle at Kicker's sudden change of attitude. The amount of respect and admiration he had for the blonde mare was something beyond his own comprehension.

Deep down he knew that, if Cloud Kicker wasn't interested in mares, he would've asked her out a long time ago. She was that much of a good friend to him. Kicker meant so much in his life, but Thunderlane was aware that he would never be able to tell her that , at least not without sounding like he wished to push their relationship one hoofstep further. It would be awkward.

"Let's go on a cloud away from here. I don't want to risk anypony sneaking on us." The stallion suggested while searching for an ideal spot so they could land on. Kicker shrugged.

"Sure, but let me set this rain real quick. Celestia forbids me for having to own Applejack a favor. I really don't want to go throught that experience again."

"Uh, okay?" Thunderlane replied, unsure at what the mare was talking about. "Do you want my help or..."

"Nah, I got this. Go make yourself comfy. Besides, you already did most of the job on a pretty good time. I'm sure if Rainbow was still in the team you would be giving her a run for her ego." The mare joked, amused at the idea of Rainbow freaking out about competition in a weather team.

Thunderlane nodded, though he didn't bother to correct the mare in regards to how Rainbow would actually react to his 'threatening performance'.

The constant drilling of muscles throught Lightning's maddening routine paid off way quicker than he would expect. His increasing performance at both weather management and Wonderbolt training courses has been extremely noticeable. He impressed so much that Spitfire, with extreme reluctance, actually granted him his first Wonderbolt performance at Ponyville's Extravaganda Show about a month ago.

But the best thing of all those results was to see how infuriated Rainbow became after she learned that she was kept out of Ponyville's show. To see Thunderlane get the opportunity offered to him instead of her made Rainbow beyond salty for an entire week.

Normally Thunderlane wouldn't care about Rainbow getting upset, but he had the unfortunate luck of her locker being right underneath his. The stallion frowned just about thinking of the many times the rainbow mare wasted his time, keeping him from getting access to his belongings with an irrefutable excuse of 'not wanting an stallion above her' while she used her own locker.

Thunderlane knew better than to fall into her provocations. Rainbow did that way too often with him when she was the Weather Captain, it was frustrating that he had to deal with such again as a Wonderbolt. While he was sure that Rainbow couldn't fire him with some lame excuse, he was still wary of reacting to her constant shenanigans. Spitfire and Rainbow were way too close for him to not think that she would favor the other mare in a worst case scenario.

It was sad to think that, perhaps, Lightning's opinion of the Wonderbolts held some bit of truth.

'A bunch of stuck ups with their self-centered rules. Do as their say or get bent. No room for strangers, they all knew eachother since young. Now all their friends are Bolts, what a coincidence, huh?'

Thunderlane felt she took it personally by calling the Wonderbolts an exclusive club of of sexy pones. Or maybe she was just joking, he wasn't sure anymore.

"So, tell me my dear Thundy, what's been driving you if-

The mare's voice sounding right next to his ear made the stallion jump in fright. He stared dumbfounded at the amused blonde.

"H-How?...I didn't even saw you land!" Perplexity at her stealth approach was evident by the way the stallion spoke. His heart still hammering inside his chest with intensity.

"You would have if you stopped daydreaming so much." Kicker chastised with a hint of humour. "Honestly you really don't get distracted this often. Will you tell me already what's going on?"

"Fine, I might just say it already." Thunderlane grunted, heavily annoyed at himself for getting spoked so easily. "The thing is...that...well...there's this mare that I really like an-

"Wait! You're not gay?!

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"Yea tellin' me yea didn' know he wasn' a wussie?"

"Yes, how many times do I have to repeat myself? Turns out I fucked that up big time. I couldn't really stay there after that. It was too embarassing."

"I feel yea mayte, but yea runnin' back ovah heah won' fix that up. Yea godda talk him back latah. The show goes on tomorrow, beddah prepare for all the hard yakka. Geddin' worried ain' good for yea health."

"I know that!" Snapped Lightning Dust, flaring her irritation at Rolling Thunder's insistence on talking back with the stallion that Dust herself has been sulking about for the last few hours.

"At least I been hearin' good about the fella." Rolling continued, clearly unfazed by Lightning's bad mood. "Was worry he's sum bogan, but yea describin' him as decent spot. Thin' yea gonna nail that one?"

Lightning snorted in response. The mare wasn't even sure what the taller pegasus meant by 'nailing', but she wasn't worried about hammering anypony before getting the weekend show on the run.

The preparations for their first show in Ponyville were going smoothly, the news of a huge crowd of ponies setting camp for tickets at the established show arena was the promise of good income and audience. But, despite all the usual atmosphere of another promising event, Lightning was worried.

There were two things she would be concerned about during the show, and those things brought her more anxiety than the minimal chance of getting impaled by the Crushinator Jaws of something-yet-to-be-named-after.

And those two things were two particular pegasus that stood on opposite extremes of her perspective.

She wasn't really looking forward to see Rainbow Dash again, the mere thought of that mare would make Lightning's blood boil. Yet, there was always the possibility of Rainbow not going to the show, though Lightning wasn't sure if Rainbow even knew who The Washout members were. Even if Rainbow ended showing up it was unlikely for her to come forward to talk with the stunt group. No doubt Rainbow Dash would be too prideful to acknowledge another stunt group aside the Wonderbolts.

And if they ended up meeting again, well, Lightning would have to keep her promise in check. Thunderlane probably was going to be among the crowd, watching her with a ton of expectancy and the turquoise mare wished nothing more than impress, him more than any other pony.

'Urgh, if I don't watch myself I'm gonna get way too attached. I really don't need that.'

"Where's Shorty? We need to get the posters to the delivery, unless he wants to carry all that to Ponyville by himself." Lightning impatiently asked, inspecting the merchandise they would be dispatching for the autograph sessions. There were hundreds of posters, magazines and other items they prepared to deliver.

Lightning was thankful their sponsorship had so much faith in her project. The Washouts wouldn't exist without all the initial financial support received.

After successful months and huge popularity increase, Lightning would feel a lot better once she evens her debt. She hated depending on somepony else that not herself. At least Fancy would have all his investment finally generating profit in few days, and Lightning won't have to set her hooves in Canterlot ever again.

"Ah don' know. He may be on a rush to get the uniforms readey. He'll be right." Rolling replied, busying herself with stretching her hind legs as much as possible. "Ah burn myself the jog a bit. Been feelin' my back stocks jiddery for the week. Yea could get sum too. A scradch ain' be preddy for the photographs."

"Gez, does your accent gets thicker than that?" Lightning asked sarcastically, struggling to understand half of what the other mare said.

"Ah know sum thick yea might like be a stick undah sum fella yea wanna woggle after the show." Rolling replied, laughing at Lightning's reddening face. "Now there's a mayte that knows by insdinct what she wants, no mattah the language."

"I do not like him like that!" Argued Lightning, incensed at her partner's bluntness. Rolling snorted in disbelief.

"Yea keep tellin' yeaself that. Ah know a girl hot in heels for sum rammerhead when ah see one."

"THE UNIFORMS ARE READY! ARE WE DISPATCHING THOSE DAMN POSTERS ALREADY!?"

"Heya Shorty!" Greeted Rolling as she saw the small red coated pegasus that entered the room yelling his lungs out."Dusty heah wants to nail sum stick boy into her hindah."

"I do no-

"I REALLY DON'T CARE IF SHE WANTS TO FUCK DICK! WE HAVE TO TAKE THE MERCHANDISE AWAY OR WE WILL BE BLOODY LATE!!"

Lightning felt an eye twitch as she glared at both her teammates with extreme dismay.

"I swear I hate ya both sometimes."

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"So that explains a lot." Cloud Kicker said, her voice sounding distant as she reflected on everything that was said in regards to Thunder's mixed feelings towards Lightning Dust.

At least after Kicker endured the part where he shouted indignation at her for assuming his sexual orientation.

"Glad I could clear your doubts." Thunderlane replied with a sneer of his own. The stallion was irked after learning from the blonde that the majority of the mares in the town thinks he's a coltcuddler.

"Don't be such a prude Thunder, you never seemed the kind of.. " Kicker hesitated, struggling to find a word to describe exactly what she wanted to say. "...ahn, tough stallion we mares normally see in your gender."

"Huh?" Thunderlane gave the mare a very skeptical look. "Your definition of tough worries me. I might not be a muscle freak like Bulk but I'm not some measy flower."

"Urgh! I do not mean strenght!" Kicker was flustered with herself for not being more specific. "I mean...we never saw you hitting on mares."

"Why would I hit on a mare? That's barbaric!" Thunderlane replied, sounding serious but grinning internally.

Kicker facehoofed. She knew too well that he was just playing around.

"This is what I get for making assumptions." The blonde lamented before pressing a wing into the stallion's chest. "Now listen here mister funny guy. I do not want to play this game for the rest of the day. I'm sorry for thinking you were flying on the other side of the mountain, guess I should've asked."

"Alright, but you better tell the other mares that I'm straight. I don't want to have this kind of conversation over a dozen times more." Thunderlane could only wonder what the other stallions thought of him at this point.

Cloud Kicker raised an eyebrow at his request. She expected he would know better than to ask her such things.

"That might not be a good idea. I can tell that, even if they think you're into stallions, there is a considerable number of mares that would jump at you like hungry Timberwolves if they became wiser of your current status." The mare said, sounding mischievous near the end of her warning.

Thunderlane frowned, realizing Kicker might be awfully right in that regard. Only Celestia would know how many mares would want a piece of him, especially considering he's a Wonderbolt and lives with a young colt.

'Last thing I need is a herd after my tail. If that happens with Lightning around I might just seal my own fate.'

Thunderlane sighed in defeat. He wasn't getting anywhere with this conversation, perhaps he should just go talk with Dust and figure things out on his own.

"Kicks, do you have anything that can help me with this issue?And you know what issue I meant." Thunderlane asked tiredly, hoping she would just get to the point he wanted to discuss.

Cloud Kicker huffed, understanding his dilemma in regards to his feelings but, if she had to be honest, her answer would only hurt the stallion rather than aid him in his hopeless chase.

"I really can't do much." The mare started, doubtful of her own words. "You have to figure out if you do love her. It's not a matter of understanding how, but why. I'm sure you will find what you see in Lightning that drives your head over the clouds."

Thunderlane, who has been listening with expectancy, grimaced at the end.

"You were sounding decent until you ruined it with that terrible peg joke. But...yeah. I see your point. I don't know why, but I want to believe there's a good reason. I will figure what that is soon."

"So you do?" Kicker asked, midly surprised.

"Do...what?"

"You do love Lightning?"

Thunderlane didn't reply. He casted his eyes away from the blonde, his view resting over the rainstorm that fell over the apple farm far below, bolts of light surging through dense dark clouds as the crack of electricity ressonates across the skies. The view itself was always an impressive sight of power.

He wished he could say yes, wished he could admit he loved somepony else that not his own brother. But the idea of admitting it outloud was crossing over a line he never believed he would be able to break throught.

It was not the relationship itself that scared him, but the unpredictable prospects of life that he wouldn't be able to prevent. Because, no matter how hard he tried not to think about it. He wasn't sure if he was finally ready to take that risk.

To see somepony he loves dying.

Again.

Thunderlane put all his efforts into keeping his brother safe, no matter the sacrifices he made for that to happen. But, with Lightning Dust, there was no guarantee that he could do anything to prevent the mare from getting into harms way.

Lightning lived for the danger, for the excitement. He couldn't take that away from her by simply being worried for her well-being. Also it was her career, he couldn't just tell her to give up and try something else.

She already tried, and he knew very well how that ended.

But the most problematic thing was that Lightning wouldn't be able to believe in his concern for her, she already said she didn't believe in ponies caring about her in any regard. How could he even explain his feelings if Lightning herself didn't care for feelings?

How could he love a mare that could die at any minute and didn't seem to care or believe on that happening?

Unfortunately he wouldn't be able to provide Kicker with a proper response. Silence would be the only answer he could provide. The honest one for the both of them.

He may not be flying at the other side of the mountain, yet Thunderlane couldn't help but wonder, if this mountain standing in between him and Lightning Dust would be high enough to stop him from trying.

Author's Note:

Comments

[Mirvra]

Hmm.... This is nice :3 Looking forward to see how this develops xD

And oh my, I can't believe I never realized the names before.... Lightning (dust), Rumble, and Thunder(lane) ..... Well then! I now have some fun dysfunctional family scenes to ponder in my head XD I'm REALLY looking forward to see what you'll do with this story XD Also really hope you'll toss in some wonderful slice of life moments :3

[Captain Absolution]

Alright, I'll keep an eye on this, it looks like an keeper.

[Scholarly-Cimmerian]

I really loved the scene with LD and her teammates. That was some good hilarity there. Nice work with Rolling Thunder's accent, by the way. ^_^

[Amos Anon]

Boy... I'm not really liking the rainbow dash in this story. She's kindof a jerk.

[Beakwood]

9358330
Hum....since this story has a view point going in between Thunderlane and Lightning, it will seem as such due their grievances towards her.Not to mention Rainbow herself isn't at her best when interacting with any of these two specific ponies.