Ace-ceptance

by Reading4HalfMyLife

Ace-ceptance

It was totally her parents fault, she thinks wryly, calling her Ace.

The thought wasn't new, nor was it her parents fault for the way she was. They had given her the name Ace because that's what she was, an ace at sports, mechanics and drawing.

She knew she was pretty, ponies were forever giving her compliments on her looks. "Colts will be falling over themselves to get to her" one of them says, winking at Sweetie Belle, her mother, who giggles.

Ace squirms slightly. She was a practical filly, and knew she would eventually fall for a colt, or even a filly, but right now neither seemed particularly attractive.

When she expresses this to her other mother, Scootaloo, the mare ruffles her mane affectionately. "Don't worry about it squirt." She says fondly. "You still have plenty of growing to do."

---

She starts growing.

So do her sisters, Tempo Breeze goes from a scrawny little thing to a lanky Pegasus who has no control of her longer limbs, much to Magical Melody and Ace's amusement. Mel stayed small, and fragile looking, at ends with the scars that came from the animals she loved so much. She was the prettiest, everypony knew that.

Ace, despite being a Pegasus, had no Pegasi Magic, instead she had very powerful Earth Pony Magic. She did not grow long and lanky like Tempo, instead she grew tall and sleek, helping out at Aunt Apple Blooms farm helping building muscle.

They're teenagers now, and both of her sisters are starting to show romantic interest. Tempo was constantly with Rainbow and Pinkie's daughter Slipstream, and Bluejay, the cynical amputee Thestral that Mel found endearing. Mel herself shows an interest in several colts in their class, just like all teenage fillies.

Well, all teenage fillies except for Ace.

Because while she's okay with the thought of being with somepony, the thought of making out, hell, even kissing them, makes her feel bad.

She doesn't know what's happening, and there's this growing sense of panic, because she doesn't feel anything, and her insides feel weird whenever somepony mentions sex.

---

She discovers the term Asexual six months before, where she had torn apart Aunt Twilight's library in a desperate attempt to find out if she has some kind of sickness, and if she could find the cure.

The sense of panic had grown too much when she heard a group of girls talking about their 'first time' and she wants to find out what was wrong with her.

She finds Asexuality instead.

The relief that swept through her being-

She wasn't broken, there wasn't anything wrong with her. There were others like her.

But she couldn't fly, and it took her years to be okay with her Magic. She knew better than anypony that knowing and accepting are two very different things.

---

She doesn't tell her family.

If they found out how uncomfortable anything to do with kissing or making out or-

Ace shudders, feeling her insides twist.

They would understand, she knows they would, but they might not know what Asexual is, and Ace did not want to put into words what she was.

Plus there was the subconscious fear of them not kissing their girlfriends or boyfriend in front of her, and while she would appreciate that, she did not need your pity, thank you very much.

---

The word was sex repulsed, she discovers.

Ace never thought she would love a word, but she does. Because it makes her valid, makes her normal, makes her happy.

Makes her sad, because this was something she couldn't change, could never change, something she had to live with.

---

Ace knew Copper Wire all her life.

Being the son of Featherweight and Apple Bloom, the two were bound to run into each other on the farm. They had struck up a friendship over their inability to fly; Ace because of her lack of Pegasi Magic, and Copper because of his weight.

And, she liked him, like a lot.

Copper is the only one who is able to keep up with her on a technological level, and the two spend days just discussing new inventions or contraptions.

She knows she should tell him at least. Her tells her every little secret he has. He had trusted her, and it made sense for her to repay the favor.

But what if he laughs? Or is repulsed? It seems that Ponykind as a whole is obsessed with the things Ace hates.

He finds out anyways, of course he does.

---

It was dusk and Ace's daily farm chores were done, but she wasn't going home just yet.

Instead, she and Copper were laying down on the tree branches of a particularly big apple tree. Copper was sitting a couple of branches above her, watching the sky through the dappled leaves.

There is no reason for her to blurt out "I don't want to have sex." But she does, and she regrets it almost instantly.

Copper sputters, almost falling off his branch before righting himself. "I don't . . I . . . . did I miss somethin' here?" He asks, incredulous as Ace's cheeks heat up.

"No!" She scrambles to stand up on her branch as he looks down, baffled. "I was just . . never mind."

Copper squints down at her, before reluctantly turns away.

She should of have just stayed quiet until it was safe to leave, but the next thing she knows, her mouth is opening once more. "Have you ever heard of Asexuality?" She chokes on the last word, but successfully grabs Coppers attention.

Ace doesn't look at his face though, nor does she allow him to speak, instead pressing on, rushing her words. "It's just . .I . . I don't get why everypony seems so obsessed with sex, ya know?" No, he doesn't. "For the longest time I had no idea what was going on, I didn't get it- I still don't get it" Ace winced as she heard her voice crack and shoved herself up, agitated.

"I don't know why I don't want to have sex, or kiss somepony. I'm still not really sure. I-I think there's something wrong with me, and I've looked, but there's no cure or anything, and, and then I found out about Asexuality" she takes a deep, gasping breath, like a toddler on the verge of a breakdown. Apt.

"And it turns out it's actually a sexual orientation, and there are hundreds of ponies- creatures- like me, I'm not alone or anything, it's normal. So-so-so" and now she was sobbing, Gods, this was embarrassing. "-so why do I feel worse than before?"

She takes a moment to wipe the tears that were starting to stream down her face, and risks a glance at Copper, but all she could gather was that he is listening intently. But she can't turn back, so she plunges ahead.

"And I-I want to go out on dates, you know? I want to meet somepony I love, and I want to have a family- but I don't want to do it if sex is involved, which means I can't date anyone, because that's all ponies seem to care about, they don't want a relationship without sex. Which means I can't be enough for anyone, and I'm never going to belong- and oh Gods, what will my family say-"

Ace's voice has been steadily rising throughout her tirade, and now it broke as she let out another sob. She didn't even try to dry her tears anymore, because none of it mattered, nopony was going to love her as she was and-

Copper reaches down a hoof tentatively from where he crouches above her, and, slowly, she took it. With surprising strength, he pulls her up to the branch he was sitting on and hugs her.

He hugs her.

Ace glances down to see his creamy wings fluff out and surround her.

"They're not going to hate you, Ace" he says, voice softer than she had ever heard it. "Because they love you, and whoever you choose to be with is going to love you to. And it's not going to matter whether or not you want to have sex with somepony, because they'll still love you."

He hesitates a minute before saying "I ..I don't know if I understand everything you need, but...well, I can learn, right? Maybe we can learn together" he suggests, and she just stopped crying, why?!

Author's Note:

God, I wanted to do this!

I missed Pride, I was on holidays, so I'm doing this instead.

I am Asexual and Aromantic, and have wanted to make a character that was one of those two. But, I didn't want to make a new character, for fear of tokenism, so I picked one up from my roster, kept her personality and just made her Asexual. I am also Aromantic, so anyone who's just Asexual might see some dissonance between romance and sex, I don't like either so it was hard to write.

Ace's name was originally going to be either Echo or Sweet Flight, but I changed it, because irony.

Ace is a determined, friendly, adventurous filly who is an amazing leader and is a very protective big sis. She is hot tempered, and it insecure about her magic and inability to fly. But she is just like any other filly.

I've been in this fandom for a long time, and I've noticed that it's either Fluttershy, Maud or Twilight that is associated with Asexuality, and that has always bothered me.

Throughout fandoms, if there's ever an Asexual character, that person will either be an introvert, completely deadpan or just cold, and that's not true. Yes, I am an introvert, but I know a lot of Asexuals and Aromantics who like to go out and wear makeup, and, it's just frustrating, because it's like someone claiming that all flirts are bisexual.

I haven't come out to my family yet. I've tried, but they've just laughed, or misunderstand what I'm saying (they only know Asexuality through scientific reproduction) and it's upsetting.

However, I told my sister, the only one in my family knowledgable of the LGBTQ+ community, and she seemed suportive, so there's that. Fun fact, the conversation between Ace and Copper is almost exactly how I came out to her, except without the date parts.

I always knew something was wrong, I was never interested in boys or girls, but because nobody sat down and explained what Asexuality was to me, I never knew what was happening. When I tried to explain myself, adults would just say that "I would understand one day."

I even went so far as to look up any kind of sickness that could do this, like Ace. Actually, I'm basically projecting in this story.

Then, when I was thirteen years old, I made a new friend, my current best friend, who found out, and instead of laughing, told me about Asexuality.

I guess the moral here is that if someone says they don't like a certain gender, it doesn't matter how old they are, don't laugh them off, because that will confuse them

Oh, and if you are confused, then look it up. There is almost certainly an explanation or name for what you are, and it's strangely liberating to know it.

So, I know I'm late, but happy Pride!

Comments

[Ice Star]

Hi! I'm asexual and enjoy writing about asexual and acespec characters too! I run an acespec group that I've added your story to.

It's nice to see some more aces on the site.

[97xxfastbike]

Short, focused, and nicely written.
The strike-through sentences I believe are aids for the reader to help understand through similar hardship and overcome feelings?

Thank you for sharing. You have helped me understand ACE a bit more.
I'll have to watch you for an Aromantic offering, as that is baffling to me.

[Reading4HalfMyLife]

9060810
Thank you!

I'm joining your group, hold on

[Machara]

Hey :)
I liked your story, and the setting was different to what I'm used to (talking about a generation down the line of what I usually read), and that was refreshing.
You mixed up tenses though and that was... disconcerting. I liked the feeling of the story though, especially the main scene on the tree. When you say Ace has no pegasus magic I assume she's not able to do weather and stuff like that but is still able to fly? Many consider flying part of pegasus magic, myself included. But I liked the idea of a pony that feels a bit of a mix between a pegasus and an earth pony to me.

I can relate to quite a bit of what's relayed in this story. I have been recently exploring myself to consider whether I have ace aspects because while I get sexual attraction it seemed to me most people seemed to make it a bigger deal than I often feel it is to me. I might be some form of demi-sexual.

Being somewhere between bisexual and pansexual, aside from being transgender further complicates/confuses the matter for me.
I think just like other forms of orientation and identity, asexuality can be just as varied. I think not all asexuals are repulsed by sex or kissing, some are just indifferent towards it - that it doesn't do anything for them, so they prefer not to partake in it. What do you think of this form of ace?

While I can relate to a lot of things, one thing that is a bit alien to me - on an emotional, not a rational level - is aromantic. I feel like by not understanding it I'm offending you and anyone who identifies with it, and that's something I don't like. How does aromantic work for you? What does it mean, and what does it not. Because it certainly does not mean to be cold and unemotional, your story proves that. Does it mean you can't love someone other than a family member or a friend?
Without romantic love something essential would be missing from my life - I certainly don't want to imagine a life without my partner and fiancée who I've been with for 15 years now. But I like to think that you can make your life work and be fulfilling without it. Can you help me understand?

Thank you for sharing this story, thank you for being an author. I would have given this story a thumbs-up, but that doesn't seem to work.

[Reading4HalfMyLife]

9060861
Thanks, it took me a long time to put this up.

I am considering doing an aromantic one, but that ones going to be harder, because if I do it wrong, the character will come across as a slut. Workin' on it, don't worry

[Reading4HalfMyLife]

9061521

Hello there!

Sorry for mixing up the tenses, it was 02:35 when I started writing this, so I was a bit tired! Don't worry, I'll fix it now!

In the Echosverse, if same sex coupes want to get married, they usually just change their genders temporarily. However, Twilight wanted to see if she could use magic to get someone pregnant, and as Sweetie and Scootaloo were planning to have children, they volunteered. The result was that Melody has 100% pure unicorn magic in her system, Tempo has 100% pure Pegasi magic in hers and Ace has 100% earth pony magic, the three races being split between the triplets.

Ace can't fly without Pegasi magic, and is very sensitive about that- especially seeing her wings look fine and healthy. The magic spell also had some side effects on her sisters, Tempo Breeze is a mute and Mel is a dyslexic geographer (she can't tell her rights from her lefts.)

That's great! My friend from the authors note is bi and trans, and I was there when she decided to transition. I hope yours went well! Just so I'm aware, what are your pronouns, I don't want to mess that up.

And you're right, not all Asexuals are repulsed by sex. Grey Ace is what we seem to be calling it. Demi-sexual, semi sexual-that's what you're referring to and Asexual-ish.

Hoo boy, Aromantic is hard to explain.

First off, I'd like to say this is how Aromance is for me. Being Aro and Ace, they tend to bleed into each other. This is different for other people, but;

Okay so basically, I do not want to go out with anyone. Like, you know how you feel with people who you aren't attracted to? It's that. We can still love- we're not sociopaths- but it's a platonic sort of love. Trying to make yourself care for someone more than you should just makes you feel weird, until you decide to go back into platonic, and everything seems right once more.

I am Asexual as well, obviously, but I know people who are just Aromantic and were terrified of being labelled as whores because they had no interest in dating someone, but enjoyed sex. If you are with an Aromantic person, it's basically like being with your best friend, except with sex.

Thank you for reading this story! I didn't think it would get spotted so quickly!

[Machara]

Hey Reading4HalfMyLife.
Thanks for your quick response.

Let me know once you've updated your story, then I'll read it once more.
The Echosverse you mentioned sounds interesting, can you point me to a story that you can recommend to get into it?

I assumed Ace can fly because the scene takes place on a tree and I assumed they got there by flying. I wonder if having the magic of an earth pony but the body of a pegasus makes Ace feel broken too, just like being Ace still does to an extent? It also reminds me somewhat of being trans. It's not a comfortable thought but makes the characters feel more realistic, which I commend you for.

I can relate to dyslexia as well because I am affected by it somewhat - I brought me great grievances during my earlier school years. But it doesn't have to cripple :) While I haven't written stories in the MLP:Fim universe (though I am working on a story concept) I have delved into writing (and posted it). This lets me appreciate the works of other authors much more but also makes me a more focused critic.

Thanks for asking for my pronouns. I'm a transwoman, so my pronouns are she & her. I can relate to watching someone transition, too - it makes me feel good seeing someone become who they really are (or accepting their sexuality). My own transition itself went well - I'm accepted and I could transition medically as well. However, I am still suffering from severe dysphoria at times. How I feel about myself can shift quickly from "I'm beautiful" to "I'm a ghastly mockery of a woman".

Thanks for trying to explain Aromantic to me. I can relate to parts of it, and certainly that Ace and Aro bleed into each other. They are two things but hard to separate completely. It's a bit like that for me when it comes to loving a friend, loving romantically and attraction.
The realization that I'm not straight did not come to me because I found males attractive (at that time I had no concept that I might not be male) but because the love of friendship I had for my best friend slowly developed into something more. Even after 22 years (and losing touch somewhat), I feel both, and at the same time, the feeling is different and the same. Attraction only came into the picture after developing romantic feelings. Maybe because of that I sometimes find it difficult to distinguish between friendly and romantic love.
While this is more than I had intended to tell about myself, I felt it necessary to best describe from where I'm coming from so you can understand what I understand about asexuality and perceiving the world aromantically.
There is such a fine line between friendly and romantic love, and it also shows you can love someone romantically without being attracted (or at least not getting aroused).
Have you ever felt more than friendship for someone (aside from family)? While I can't put my finger on how, I feel like it might be possible to feel more without having romantic feelings.

>Trying to make yourself care for someone more than you should just makes you feel weird.
If you mean that you can't force yourself to feel more, that's certainly true. I'm not sure what you mean with weird, though. Do you mean it's uncomfortable? Like how you feel if you imagine doing more than cuddling with someone?

Cuddling... that reminds me - do you enjoy cuddling? I feel I live the closeness with my partner mostly through cuddling (and kissing, but that's not the point in your case) and not so much through intimacy of the other kind. The same holds true with friends I particularly like.

>I am Asexual as well, obviously, but I know people who are just Aromantic and were terrified of being labelled as whores because they had no interest in dating someone

Hm. I guess such a misunderstanding is fathomable. But being intimate with someone when you just feel comfortable with the person does not make it any less valid or normal when romantic feelings are involved (as I said, I feel there can be such a fine line between friendly and romantic feelings). It's just because intimacy still has some stigma as something bad. I live in an open relationship (though that rarely is of real relevance in my life except that I feel it allows me to live relationships better and with more trust) and so I'm quite at peace with the idea of being intimate without a romance (or the other way around, for that matter).

I spotted your story because it showed on the fimfiction homepage under "New Stories".

[97xxfastbike]

9061525
Ah! That description of yours reminded me... I've already read an Aromantic female story. Crystal Wishes wrote it two years back.The Velveteen Mask
I think she successfully wrote a non-slut Aromantic female, but surely you have a different view to share.

As for me, I'm sure that I'm a romantic male, but I feel like I'm the minority. The stereotypical male seems to me to be Aromantic. How are they different? (Feel free to answer in PM if you wish.)

[Reading4HalfMyLife]

9061627
Sorry this took so long, I was out with me friends.

I did manage to change most of the story into the present tense, though I may of have missed a few spots.

No, neither Ace or Copper can fly (he's overweight) but they can climb very well. And yes, the fact that Ace can't fly is a sore spot for her, especially considering her sister Tempo is one of Equestria's fastest flyers.

Melody is a dyslexic geographer, which means she can't tell left from right, and struggles to read maps. She is actually an amazing writer, and has a notebook full of poems, lyrics and stories.

If you had the guts to stand up in front of people you know and tell them how you feel, then you are offically my hero, and are the most beautiful person I will ever know.

The thing you are describing sounds kind of like Demisexual, but you may want to research more, just in case it's not actually that.

Have I ever been romantically or sexually attracted to someone? Not really, say for example, when I watch a show I see this character who's funny, cute, charming etc. I have this brief thing where I get semi obsessed with them, but it's more like I admire them? Like, as a character? And it fades really quick. Most of the time, I am just apathic towards others romantically or sexually.

You know how in the story Ace describes her insides twisting whenever she thinks of sex? I have that same thing whenever I think of pursuing a relationship with someone. It's kind of like trying to force a friendship, it just feels awkward, and I would rather be just friends.

Cuddling . . that is a hard question to answer. I am a high functioning autistic, which means I can't handle loud noises, I am introverted, I am not good with social cues and unexpected phsyical contact. As well as that, I don't like the thought of cuddling with someone romantically. However, if my friends lay down on a bed, I will put my head on their stomach, or I might give them long lasting hugs. As long as I know the person, and they ask first, then I am usually okay.

When people who don't know what Aromantic is see someone being very uncomfortable with romance, but are okay with sex, they go to the conclusion that they are sluts or whores. It's not entirely their fault, it was never actually explained to them, but yeah, me and a couple of my friends have had to hit some people a couple of times. You probably shouldn't call someone a slut while her best friend is beside you.

---

In terms of recomendations, most of my current fics have a basic arc;

Astral Plane, Starlight and Twilights daughter, is stuck in a time loop - The Time Thief
Ace, Melody and Tempo deal with bullies- Terrible Three's
Luna and Discord's daughter Anarchy and Pinkie and Bluebloods daughter Misty Rose try to cook - Cooking Catashrophe
Fluttershy and Braeburns son volunteers at an organasation that helps disabled foals and meets Bluejay, a batpony amputee - First Meetings and Second Chances
Sequel to F.M.A.S.C, Butterscotch and Bluejay talk at Midnight- Midnight Conversations
Lyra and Bon Bon's daughter on the battlefield and Slipstream is injured - Don't leave me
Ace and Mel help Tempo out after a fight - Patching up your idiot sister
Misty Rose is almost arrested by the police, and has to lie to get out - Phony Physic

Those are the current ones anyway, but there is also going to be;
Rarijack's son struggling with effeminity
Tempo, Slipstream and Bluejay polyamory
Butterscotch dealing with depression
Melody's transition to gender fluid

[Reading4HalfMyLife]

9062066
Thank you! I'm going to start reading right away