Boast Busters

Chapter 5: The Monster Within/Boast Busters

I dropped back into my thoughts again, thinking of the haunting face of Vael in my dreams again. The chains were only wire-thin the night before. I was worried what would happen if he could finally break free: would the Wolves and I be able to seal him away again? Looking at his chains in my mind, they had obviously held for thousands of years. If something like that needed chains so strong, how was it possible for me to defeat it?
No, I was forgetting my friends. They wouldn’t possibly abandon me.
But what if they got hurt in the process? I’d never forgive myself if they got hurt, especially AJ. But if I don’t let them help, I’ll probably die, and then where would I be?
“Andrew… ANDREW!” Twilight yelled, snapping me out of my reverie.
“Huh?” I asked. “Oh, right. We were talking about illusion spells, right?”
“Andrew, that was fifteen minutes ago.”
“Wow, time really does fly.” I gave a weak chuckle. “Well, Twilight, I’ve gotta go. Ponies to see, things to do and such.”
“I’m coming with you.”
“What?” I asked, mildly surprised. “Don’t you trust me?”
“Frankly, no.” Ouch. That really hurt, Twi. “You’re hiding something; I can tell.”
Dammit. I thought I’d be able to get away and think for myself. For the past two weeks, my friends had me horn-deep in work so I couldn’t worry myself about Vael. They knew something was bothering me, and they were trying to take my mind off it. Even Death popped in once or twice to distract me. Why couldn’t they realize I just wanted to think?
“Fine,” I muttered. She brightened up when she realized I had given in. we walked out of the store, me trying to focus. Just when I thought I’d have a good strategy, it would be completely forgotten by a bright flash of color walking by. Why do all these ponies have to be Technicolor?
I was finally getting to the point of anger when a huge explosion rattled the town. I looked over at Twilight, who had a stunned expression on her face. We raced to the center of the town square to find…
A trailer. A real horse trailer.
The sight of it got me laughing so hard, a small group of ponies was hovering around me, concerned. When my fit was finally over, I managed to right myself. There was a bluish unicorn with a powdery blue-silver mane standing in front of the now-apparent stage. The mare was wearing a classic wizard’s hat and cape and was bragging so much it hurt just uncovering my ears.
So, now we have the self-centered Gandalf pony? Universe, you never cease to amaze me.
“Come one, come all, to see the magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!” the unicorn shouted, fireworks and smoke popping out from the stage.
“Come Advil, come Aspirin, to relieve the Great and Powerful migraine,” I moaned as the noise took its toll on me. Once the headache had passed, I resumed listening.
“Watch and be amazed as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs feats of magic never before seen by pony eyes!” the unicorn said. Okay, Gandalf pony talks in third person, too. Why did I just mentally file that under “important information”?
“My, my, my,” Rarity said disdainfully. “What boasting.”
“Come on, nopony is as magical as Twilight… Twi…” Spike stopped talking when he noticed Rarity. “Oh… um, hey, Rarity. I, um… moustache!” Spike zoomed back to Twilight and me.
“There’s nothing wrong with being talented, is there?” Twilight asked.
“Nothin’ at all,” AJ replied. “Except when ya go showing it off like a school filly with fancy new ribbons.”
“Just because one has the ability to perform lots of magic does not mean they are better than the rest of us,” Rarity stated.
“Especially when you have me being better than the rest of us,” Rainbow put in. AJ and I glared at her. “Um, I mean… magic schmagic! Boo!”
“Well, it seems we have some neighsayers (another pony pun? I love this world!) in the crowd,” Trixie said. “Who is so ignorant as to challenge the magical abilities of the Great and Powerful Trixie? Do they not know they are in the presence of the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria?”
Rarity snorted. “Just who does she think she is?”
“Yeah!” Spike popped up from between the three of us. “Besides, everypony knows that Twilight here-” he was cut off as Twi dragged him off to the side.
“So, Great and Powerful Trixie, what makes you think you’re so awesome anyway?” Rainbow zoomed up and glared at her. Trixie flashed a triumphant smile.
“Trixie is the only unicorn in Equestria to have such awesome magic as to defeat the
Ursa Major!” she exclaimed. Getting a lot of confused looks, she elaborated.
“When the citizens of Hoofington were in mortal peril from the dreaded Ursa Major, the Great and Powerful Trixie defeated it and banished it back to its cave, deep in the Everfree forest!” a spark of fireworks proclaimed an enormous blue bear being zapped by a Trixie-esque shape. The crowd cheered, while Rarity, Rainbow and I yawned dismissively.
“That settles it!” a rather fat unicorn colt said.
“Trixie truly is the most talented unicorn in all of town,” his lanky friend stated.
“No, in all of Equestria!” the fat one exclaimed.
“How do you know?!” Spike stormed. “You didn’t see it. And besides, Twilight-” she zipped his mouth, cutting him off again.
“It’s true, my little admirers,” Trixie bragged. “Trixie certainly is the most powerful unicorn in Equestria.” There was silence. “Don’t believe Trixie? Then I issue a challenge to all you Ponyvillians. Anything you can do, I can do better.”
“Finally, I can show this unicorn up,” I muttered. It was at this unfortunate moment, though, that Trixie noticed me. More specifically, my lack of a cutie mark.
“Oh, a blank flank?” she asked with an amused grin. “Did you never discover your talent, or are you just useless?” she looked me over entirely. “Then again, maybe you’re not that useless.” She trotted closer, a lustful smirk on her face. “Maybe you’d like to come over later and I could help you find that special talent.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “In your dreams, and in my nightmares, Trixie.”
Trixie faltered. “Oh well, suit yourself. I don’t go around offering free rides, you know.”
“So, you normally charge for them?” I asked, a devilish grin on my face. Trixie went crimson. “Now, I’ll take you up on that bet. Twilight, Rainbow, AJ, I need your help with this.” The three ponies gathered around me, hesitant.
“Alright. Rainbow, I need you to get as many clouds as possible. AJ, have a lasso on standby. Twilight.” I whispered my plan in her ear, her eyes widening.
“Are you insane?!” she hissed. “That could get us all killed.”
“Eh, I’ve been in worse danger.” Don’t I know it.
“Fine.”
“Sweet!” I shouted. “Colors, are those clouds ready?”
She punched a hole in one and gave me a thumbs-up (or as close to one as she could get with a hoof). AJ was twirling her lasso above her head. I started the spell, feeling the rush of magic in my veins. Twilight, supplementing my magic, started her half of the spell. I saw the aqua dragon quickly take shape. It had a long muzzle, with a nose like a spade and ears like fins. Its light-and-shadow eyes stared forward without recognition. Instead of letting the magic go, I implanted more into it. As much as me and Twilight added, however, it still wouldn’t activate that spark of life.
Well, in all fairness, I was trying to create life. It was bound to be pretty hard.
Brenner appeared next to me, fur waving in the magical wind. Twilight gasped at his appearance. I shot her a look that said “not now”, then turned back to the wolf.
“It’s possible,” he explained. “You just need to find that bit that fits in perfectly. The Allspark, if you will.”
“You know I don’t like sci-fi references. Sci-fi itself is fine, but when you bring the whole reference thing to it, it just kinda falls apart in my brain.”
I searched inside the sea of glimmering gold and violet magic, looking for something different. After a few minutes, I finally found a black-and-white checkered strand, glowing more brightly than the rest. I ripped it free and shoved it into the dragon. Instantly, there was a sort of click, and the magic stopped abruptly. I dropped, now feeling the full effect from so much magic use. I stared up at the dragon I was forming. Its eyes now shone with a dim intelligence. Hopefully it knew right from wrong now. I shooed it off, and it flew into the Everfree forest. Though it had a brain of its own, I didn’t think that it was really… alive. It just didn’t have that kind of fire in the soul I’d formed for it. I glanced back at Trixie, who was staring, dumbfounded.
“Twilight?” I asked. I heard a feminine grunt in reply. “If I ever want to do that again, punch me in the face and call me an idiot.” I shakily stood up as AJ rushed over and helped.
“Thanks,” I said, giving her a weak smile. She nodded and grinned back.
“Ya never told us ya had that much power,” she said.
“No, I don’t. I was the inspiration for the spell. Twilight provided a good eighty percent of the energy.” I looked over at Twilight, who was being helped up by Rarity and Pinkie. “Thanks, Twi!” I said cheerily.
“Where… where did you learn that?” Trixie asked, her voice cracking a little.
“It was simple really, just find the spark that fits the illusion best.” I smirked as she lowered her head in puzzled fury. “Now, the only way you can top that one is if someone actually brings an Ursa here and you defeat it.”
Why the FUCK did I say that? Pardon the curse.

I was spending the evening at Twilight’s, due to her loss of spellcasting for a while. It turns out I nearly drained her magical reserves in the process of giving the dragon life.
Huh. Never thought I’d say that.
Anyways, I was sitting by her bed while reading the fourth Daring Do book. She hadn’t fared well since the incident, so I had Spike send a letter to Celestia and see if she could help. As I waited, I couldn’t help but notice the rhythmic trembling of the ground. Seeing as I know next to nothing about this world, I thought it was an earthquake. That is, until I saw the screaming crowds and the enormous purple bear crushing trees.
So much for relaxing.
I trotted out of the house to see AJ and Rainbow trying to get at the Ursa while Fluttershy and Rarity pulled them back. I shot a burst of flame in the bear’s hide, which sizzled and smoldered. The bear roared in pain, then went chasing after me. I dodged a swipe, unleashing another blast of flame. The bear ignored the second one and caught me with a hook, sending me flying into an alley. It then turned back to its original prey: AJ and Rainbow.
I tried lifting a hoof to help them, but an agonizing pain shot through my body. In my head, the white room formed again.
The chains snapped.
I screamed in pain as Vael tore at the room, desperately trying to get out. He shattered a window, sending me into total darkness as my eyesight gave way. The last things I heard before plunging into unconsciousness were two screams: one of fear, made almost positively by AJ, and a scream of delight. A scream of maddening happiness.
“I’M FREEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Rainbow Dash watched in horror as Andrew was thrown into an alley. She was unable to help her friend, however, when the Ursa sent her flying as well. She landed with a groan. AJ screamed as she too was knocked away, landing inches away from Rainbow.
“How are we gonna beat it without Andrew or Twilight?” she asked her cowpony friend.
“Ah don’t know, sugarcube, but we gotta try.”
And on it went for a good five minutes. Being pounded mercilessly by the giant bear, Rainbow and her friends could only keep the Ursa in place. Fluttershy even tried using her “Stare”, but it didn’t work. Finally, the bear got fed up and knocked AJ into a wall. As it went for the killing blow, something darted out of the shadows. It extended a claw and…
Punched a hole through the Ursa Major.
The beast screamed as golden blood pumped out of its heart, then froze and dropped to the ground. The thing that had killed it was standing with its head low. It turned towards her.
Rainbow screamed. She couldn’t help it; the thing was hideous. It was wreathed in shadow- no, made of shadows. They danced off its form like fire, breaking the night with streams of blackness. It had paws, like Spike, and it stood on two legs. What stood out about the appendages was the fact that the claws on its arms, as Spike liked to call them, were almost as long as she was tall. They clacked together whenever it made a move.
It had an extremely long mane that trailed off into wisps of shadow as it reached the ends of the hairs. It was muscular, from what Rainbow could see of its fuzzy outline. Then it lifted its face up, and she stifled yet another scream.
The beast’s pus-yellow eyes glowed in the dark. Whenever she looked at them she felt convinced that behind them were black sockets, waiting to devour her. What unnerved her most, however, was the pure madness, hatred, and amusement that filled its eyes in equal amounts. It flashed her a deadly grin, sharp teeth gleaming gold with the bear’s blood. Its grotesque arms twitched in excitement as it flicked a long, bony tail upwards, twisting its spade tip towards AJ’s throat. Seeing as her friend was about to be killed, Rainbow intervened.
“No!” she yelled, catching the creature’s attention. He zoomed towards her at an unnatural speed, bringing her chin up with a single two-foot claw.
“Well, well,” it said in a voice both rich and chilling. It sparked a primal fear in her; she knew instinctively she would die unless she ran. “You’re quite the pretty one, aren’t you? It’s a shame he doesn’t want any of the wretched ponies killed. Maybe I’ll go on a rampage in the forest, then. I can have what I want while keeping you pathetic things alive.”
“Who are you?” Rainbow squeaked. She put as much bravery in her voice as she could. “What do you want?”
“Call me Vael. As for what I want… it is simply carnage. Endless destruction without cease. Everything dies eventually, but it takes much too long. I have had my fill of waiting, and the destruction shall flow forth like a river of blood!” the thing gave a spine-shuddering laugh. He reached out with his other hand and hissed a word she didn’t recognize. The claws shot forward, extending until they were a good five feet long. He dropped Rainbow and strode to a house. With a flick of his- what did Spike call it? Wrist? Yes, wrist. With a flick of his wrist the house was cut to pieces. He glared at a petrified filly, demonic eyes the only source of light in the night.
“STOP!” a deafening voice screamed. Vael was halfway to the next house before he froze and looked up. there, in front of him, was Princess Celestia herself. He heard a rustling and shot towards it to reveal Princess Luna. She knocked him aside with her magic, standing almost as tall as Celestia herself in the few short weeks she had been sane. The beast got up, grinning wildly.
“Well, it looks like I get to entertain royalty. That’s good that you attacked me first. He never said anything about “self-defense”.” Vael lunged for Luna, his claws extending. He nicked her side, and blood flowed freely from the gash. He shrunk his claws and lapped at the blood with a forked tongue.
Rainbow Dash shrank back at the notion that the thing liked to drink blood. She had coughed up blood once or twice during a particularly bad flight session, and it tasted terrible. This thing, however, apparently enjoyed the bitter, metallic taste. He re-extended the claws, a smirk growing on his face.
“Now, we should really do something about those horns, eh? I find they are a tad too sharp for my liking.” It charged Luna again, laughing maniacally. Celestia, meanwhile, put a wing over Rainbow.
“You’re not hurt, are you, my little pony?” she asked in a calm voice. Rainbow warily shook her head. “That’s good. I will teleport you and your friends to Sweet Apple Acres to recover while Luna takes care of this… abomination.” They trotted over to the rest of the unconscious group, then a flash of white light signaled their disappearance.

Luna was amazed that the beast could keep up with her, even with her newly-restored powers. It laughed the whole time, sending chills down her spine. About half way through the fight, it started singing a demented tune.
“Tick, tock, goes the clock, as everypony dies
Tick, tock, goes the clock, in graves their bodies lie
Tick, tock, goes the clock, as all the flowers wither
Tick, tock, goes the clock, just how long ‘till I kill her?”
The beast inflicted two more cuts on her, as well as broke a wing and bruised her side. She, however, could not even touch the thing, let alone hurt it. After it had leveled another house and gave her another gash, she finally got tired of the fight.
“Enough!” she boomed, though not in her Royal Canterlot Voice. She wanted her subjects to be as calm as possible, and the shout would only terrify them more. She summoned the strongest binding magic she knew: the Chains of Illusion. They clamped onto each wrist and fused themselves to each other, locking its arms and sapping its strength. The chains were so powerful Luna expected it to be dead in seconds; yet it struggled for a full minute before finally screaming.
“DAMN ALL OF YOU!” it shrieked. “I’LL KILL YOU ALL! ESPECIALLY YOU TWO!” it glared at Luna. “You will suffer slowly, and I will make sure your torment last for a thousand years.” It looked towards the empty night one more time and howled. “Equestria will burn!” it cackled. Then, a much softer, more reliable voice intercepted it.
“No, it won’t, Vael. I will protect this land to my dying breath.”
And the monster within passed out.

I smelled iron. Iron, mold, and very old stone. So where the hell was I? I remembered the Ursa Major, being knocked into the alley, and then…
Vael!
I scrambled up, unaware of the darkness of whatever room I was in. I had the nagging sensation that there was something deep in my head, striving to get out. Horrified, I pulled up the image of the white room. Vael was sitting there, struggling against new chains. Thank God and Celestia alike…
I looked around, my horn glowing dimly as I cast a small light spell. It looked like… a dungeon? But then…
I gasped. Vael must have taken over my body and gone on a rampage!
I tried even harder to pace in my worry, but something on my hooves held me back. To my surprise, there were chains restricting my hooves. I let a short burst of magic out to dissolve them, then resumed my pacing.
What happened? Why was I in a dungeon? What kind of damage did I do? How long ago was the attack? How did- HOLY MOTHER OF RAINBOW DASH!
I looked down to see a thin line of blood pooling around my feet. There was a gash, long and deep, in my chest. For the first time, I could feel the pain Vael’s influence inflicted on me. Definitely a broken leg, some broken ribs, a damn lot of bruises on my sides, and the cut in my chest. It was life-threatening, but barely oozed blood. I tried breathing in and out to relax the clenched muscles. No sooner than I had taken my third breath than blood sprayed from the wound, and I let out a small groan at the pain. For a long time, I sat there, slowly bleeding out. After my first five minutes of agony, I realized I could just use magic to hasten the blood-production process in my body. Once I made sure I wouldn’t die of blood loss, I tended to my broken bones and bruises. I knew nothing, and absolutely nothing about healing magic, and I wasn’t about to try in the state I was in. I merely summoned a few bandages and splinted myself as best I could.
For hours I waited, anticipation twisting my thoughts. I finally got so bored, I decided to play a little prank on the next pony who walked down here. I used the magic to change my eyes to those of Vael’s. I hid in the darkest corner of the cell, positive that nopony would be able to see my true form.
Finally, after what seemed to be another day, somepony trotted into the dungeon. I grinned as I saw Princess Luna’s face; oh, it would be priceless!
“You’re still alive?!” she hissed when she saw my new eyes. I flashed them back to their normal liquid gold and laughed.
“Now, Luna. Is that anyway to treat the pony who saved your sanity?” I asked, mock hurt rolling from my voice. She stifled a gasp and stared at me.
“Andrew?” Luna asked.
“The one and only.”
She rushed into the cell, not bothering to check for danger. Before I could react, she had her hooves around me in a hug. “Tia and I thought that foul thing was still inhabiting your body!” she squealed.
“Thank you for worrying, Luna, but do you mind not crushing me? I think I have a few broken ribs.”
She backed away quickly in apology.
“Thanks, Luna,” I said shortly. “How much damage did I do, will Ponyville hate me, and did I kill anypony?”
“Well, you killed an Ursa Major, but nopony was hurt. You did destroy a house or two. No, I don’t think Ponyville will hate you. You were in a completely different form and state of mind when you lost control and became that… demon.”
“Good, because I was just about to have a talk with that demon. You coming?” I offered a hoof. Before she could take it, Daniel, Brenner and Starlight appeared near me.
“And what the hell took you guys so long?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Shut up, Andrew. Vael cut off your connection to us when he went berserk. After that, it took us nine hours just to get past the barriers you set up, Luna.” Danny glared at Luna, who smiled sheepishly.
“Alright, all aboard the Teleport Express!” I said, and with a flash of light, we were in the white room. Vael glared up at us, hatred set in his gaze.
“You came here to rub your thrice-damned victory in, didn’t you?” he snarled. I laughed quietly.
“No, I came to make a deal.” Luna gasped.
“Are you sure you want to deal with something so evil as Vael, Andrew? She whispered. I nodded slowly.
“Here’s the deal. I let you out twice a month for a day and a night. I only let you out in the Everfree Forest, and you are to stray no closer than two hundred miles of its border. I’ll let you kill anything non-sentient and harmful, but other than that, nothing. You can crush trees, break boulders, and cause general destruction there without hurting anypony. So, are you in?” I cut my hoof on my horn and held it out, blood oozing. Vael let out a whistle.
“A blood contract, eh? You really are serious. Well, I suppose this is the best offer I’ll get anytime soon, so it’s a deal.” He cut a hand and pressed it to my hoof. There was another flash of light, and we were all in the dungeons, save Vael.
“You are completely insane, you know that?” Daniel asked me. I grinned from ear to ear.
“Oh, but that’s just a part of my charm.”

I trotted along Luna as we headed to the throne room. She had graciously healed my injuries (though I think she was a little bit more hooves-on than necessary), along with restoring the damaged connection between the Wolves and I. as we trotted along, some of the guards looked at me with trepidation. A few even got their weapons out before they saw Luna.
“You know, these guards are seriously uptight,” I whispered to Luna. She giggled.
“I’ve been dying to ask Tia to give them a little bit more relaxing time, but she insists their vigilance is helping Equestria.”
“Luna, you have no idea how happy I am to find out there’s another laid-back pony out there who’s not Pinkie Pie.” She giggled again. “I mean to say, she’s just a bit too hyper. Whenever she sees something, it goes off in her head like a fireworks show.”
“You’re right, she is like that a lot.” Luna paused for a second. “Tell me about humanity,” she said.
“What do you want to know?”
“Tell me about their society, their… technology, and their appearances. That should keep us busy for a while.” So, I proceeded to tell her about humans. How humans had the great potential for good, but it often gave way to greed and violence. I told her how we used thing like cell phones and planes and cars to get along without the use of magic or wings. Finally, I told her about the human appearance. This one was a bit more tricky to explain, but I tried the best I could. I eventually shortened it to this: “Imagine something that looks like Vael, but use him as a general shape. Now, shorten the claws to near non-existence, take away the tail, shrink the eyes, and you’ve got a general human. We’re all roughly the same shape, though some are fat and some skinny. Our hair and eye colors differ greatly depending on the DNA of our ancestors. But the skin color, that’s where it gets interesting. There have been countless ideas and theories on who is better than whom just over one’s skin color. In other words, racism, and a shit load of it. We can be as pale as the moon or as dark as a shadow.”
“You race certainly seems… lively,” Luna said after a short while. I chuckled.
“You don’t know half of it, and trust me, you don’t want to know that half.”
We walked on for several more minutes. Luna told me about castle life, the Royal Guard’s antics, and her nephew, Prince Blueblood.
“Is this Blueblood guy somepony I can punch?” I asked. Luna laughed.
“Only if gets to be too much of a pain in the flank. If you do rough him up a bit, Tia and I will understand.”
Luna and I laughed for the short while it took to get to the throne room. I took a deep breath at the doors.
“Well, here goes nothing,” I muttered. I pushed open the doors and walked in.
Celestia was sitting there, looking very angry.
Crap. I need some backup.
“Danny,” I whispered out of the corner of my mouth. “Can you find the dragon I made earlier today and tell him to wait outside the window depicting my friends? If this gets nasty, I’m gonna need a getaway.”
He nodded, and the three vanished in puffs of smoke.
“Luna,” Celestia asked slowly, trying unsuccessfully to hide her anger, “Why did you bring this… thing… here?”
“Ouch. That hurts, Celestia. It really does,” I said, holding a hoof over my heart.
“Silence! A beast only speaks when its master commands it.”
“I told you it would get nasty, Luna.” She chuckled. I trotted over to the window depicting me and the Elements vanquishing Nightmare Moon. I leaned against the fragile glass carefully, as not to fall through just yet.
“Well, Celestia, it’s been fun. I wish I could stay for tea, but I have a couple of houses to apologize to and a filly to de-traumatize. Luna,” I called over. “Thank you for telling me about this place. It puts a whole new perspective on the word “stress”. I know not to doubt you anymore. Oh, and if Blueblood gives you any trouble, don’t hesitate to call me. Now, ladies, I bid you goodbye.” I pushed against the glass with all my force, shattering it. I dropped for about eight feet before being caught by a scaly lump of dragon.
“Onward, my scaly friend! To Ponyville!” I shouted, guiding the dragon with my thoughts. It seemed like whatever intelligence I had given it had included an instinctive compass. Though it could move, think and had free will, I still didn’t believe that it was truly alive. Something just felt… wrong about it.
My suspicions were confirmed about halfway to Ponyville, when the dragon flickered ominously. With a faint pop, it vanished, leaving me zooming through the air of my own volition. I managed to pull off a teleport just before I hit the ground. I popped up in the town square. A couple ponies, namely Lyra, Colgate and Carrot Top looked at me disinterestedly before going back to their shopping. For a moment I was confused; there was a black beast raging through their town nine hours ago, and all they did was shop? I turned the corner to see a pristine road. The Ursa was gone, the houses looked brand-new, and the filly Vael had scared was trotting around, with not a care in the world.
“Luna, you are the best alicorn to have ever lived,” I muttered under my breath. I could have sworn I heard a smug “I know” from somewhere, but I quickly dismissed it as my imagination.
Oh, well. Time to hit the hay. I trotted back to Sweet Apple Acres, making my usual rounds at Sugarcube Corner and Couches and Quills. As I got to the property, I noticed the lack of ponies. I shrugged it off and opened the doors to the barn.
“SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
I fell flat on my back at the shock of seeing a good hundred ponies with party hats on. Pinkie rushed up to me.
“Surprise!” she shouted. “I realized last night I never threw you a “Welcome to Ponyville” party, and a lot of things happened since then, so this is a “Welcome to Ponyville and Thank You for Defeating Nightmare Moon and Sorry Your Body got Taken Over by an Evil Spirit Hell-Bent on Destroying All of Reality” party!” she helped me up. “Did ya like it? Did ya did ya did ya?” in response, I grinned from ear to ear and hugged Pinkie.
“Pinkie Pie, you are the second-best friend I could ever have asked for,” I said. Pinkie looked at me, half ecstatic, half confused.
“Wait, if I’m the second, then who’s the first best friend?” she asked. I winked.
“It’s a secret.”
Pinkie whined and begged for an answer, but before I could give in, I spotted Ponyville’s local DJ.
“Yo, Vinyl!” I called. She strutted over, walking through the partygoers with practiced ease.
“What’s up, Dusk?” she asked. I grinned from ear to ear.
“Put it on.”
She smiled like Pinkie after eating a vat of cake batter. She literally ran on stage.
“NEON! PINKIE!” she yelled, catching their attention. They got on stage too, and well… you can tell where this is going.

(If you can’t tell where this is going, it’s Shadyvox’s “Pony Rock Anthem”. I won’t include lyrics because I’ve gone over my desired word count already.)

The party was a blast. There was cake, music, everything you’d expect from a party, but the fact that Pinkie Pie threw it made everything seem more awesome. Vinyl, Neon and Pinkie played another song (Equestria Girls), then handed the music responsibilities to Vinyl. Princess Luna herself came to the party near the end, but that didn’t turn out so well; mostly, everypony just screamed and ran.
Twenty minutes later, Luna, Applejack and I were sitting in the clearing, surrounded by sleeping wolves.
“Well, I must get back to the castle. I need to raise the moon for my subjects,” Luna said, standing. I thought of something. Just to test my magic.
“Luna, if you do the moon, do you mind if I do the stars?” she gaped at me. “What? If Vael kept on par with you without magic, I’m sure my magic could be strong enough.”
She slowly nodded. “Very well.” Her horn glowed azure, and the pale disk of the moon’s surface floated up the horizon. Now, time to show Equestria the wonders of deep space…
My horn glowed, and countless pinpricks of light dotted the sky. I tried to put a faint galaxy or two in there. By AJ and Luna’s gasps, I succeeded.
“Andrew… are your skies always like this?” Luna asked, a hint of awe in her voice.
“Only during the clearest of nights, when no cloud of smoke fills the air. I guess you’d have to be really high up, too.”
“It’s darn pretty,” AJ said. Luna flew off, still admiring my handiwork. After a few minutes, I laid down on the grass. I took AJ’s hoof and pointed at each of the constellations, naming them. After a while, I must have drifted off to sleep, because I suddenly found myself in the white room. Vael looked up at me, amused.
“I’ll still break free, Andrew,” he said in an icy voice. “And when I do, that little orange pony will be the first one killed.”
“If you so much as lay a claw on her, I will personally drop you into a pit of lava and seal it shut.”
“Then I’ll drag you down with me.”