Chapter 7
Going home was always a bit of struggle for Azure. Her mother wasn't mean to her, but she wasn't very attentive either. Everything she had to do for her, she did. The filly wasn't neglected by any means. She just didn't get the affection she really wanted. Maybe even needed. There were times where Azure felt like her mother didn't love her. But, she couldn't say that for sure. Dash had to love her at least a little in order to continue providing for her; Getting her through school, giving her a home to come back to.
After everything that's happened though, she could truly understand why the mare was the way she was. For years Azure knew that her mother was hurting, she was hurting too, but never grasped the extent of Dash's pain. But now, with her father's hushed return, she felt she had finally scratched the surface. Like she was starting to really learn just how much damage was done. Maybe the lack of affection she received from her mother was simply due to a fear. A fear that, one day, she would vanish too. And then the mare would be truly alone. That would never happen. It couldn't.
Azure could never bring herself to leave for good. She was all that Dash really had and without her there would be nothing left. Despite her feelings, she had to return home, for Dash's sake. For without her, what would the mare do with herself? She already never leaves the house, aside to go to work. But she's so fast that the job is done in an hour. And that's when she's slacking! If she didn't come home anymore, then her mother would spend the remainder of her days isolated from the world and she couldn't allow that.
Azure would dwell on these thoughts as she entered her cloud home, looking around for any sign of her mother. "Hello?" She called out, strolling through the living room to find the mare plaguing her thoughts. "Is anypony home?" It's obvious that Dash was here, she mostly just asked this so she could find her sooner.
"Kitchen!" Dash called out in a near lifeless tone. Such is the tone Azure has grown accustomed to. The filly kept a decent pace as she joined her mother in the kitchen. The mare looked at her daughter from her chair beside the table, an empty plate sitting in front of her as she poked at her teeth with a toothpick. "What's up, kid?"
"Not much, really." Azure said as she forced a small smile, another one of her many skills. "I've just been hanging out with Rarity." Walking over to the table she picked up the plate in front of her mother and took it to the sink.
"Thanks, hun." Dash said as she continued picking away at her teeth with the small sliver of wood. "What's her deal? She still trying to get you into that flashy dress?"
Azure giggled at her mother's comment. "No, thank Celestia." She turned on the tap, letting water run over the plate's surface before grabbing a rag and wiping down the dish. "I think she got the hint when I told her it was too sparkly for me."
Dash nodded, pulling the pick from her mouth. "When will that mare learn?" She flicked the toothpick from her hand on to the table as she rose from her seat and walked over to the fridge. "I picked up some stuff for sandwiches on my way home." She pulled the door open, grabbing a small brown bottle in each hand before kicking the door shut as she left the kitchen. "Go nuts."
"Thanks mom!" Azure called out, letting her forced smile fall as she turned off the sink and set the plate aside to dry. This part of the day was routine for the filly. After fixing herself a snack she would usually leave so she wouldn't have to sit around the house with nothing to do. That wouldn't be an option today. The only ponies she really talks to are busy with her dad and if she didn't come home Dash might have gotten suspicious.
Dash can't know that he's back. Not yet.
Azure promised she wouldn't say anything...
Azure let out a sigh and followed through with the first part of the routine. She threw together a simple veggie sandwich, finished it with a glass of water, then broke the cycle by going toward her room. On the way there she stopped, looking intently at the door to her mother's room.
What do you think she does in there?
Azure shrugged, "I don't know." Although she was well-known for snooping, she never dared to cross this threshold. "I know she's drinking, but that can't be all she's doing..."
Only one way to find out!
This was one of the few- very few- things Azure left alone, feeling as though she would be crossing a line by digging into her mother's personal life like that. She was always curious about it though. What could her mother possibly be doing that would keep her in that room for hours at a time? It couldn't just be drinking alone. Not unless she was planning on passing out right after. Which did kind of make sense when she thought about it...
Just look already!
It was clear in Azure's head what she wanted to do, no matter how wrong it felt to do it. Even so, she carefully inched her way to the door and gingerly grabbed the handle, twisting it as carefully as she could to make as little noise as possible. The faint click that followed told her she could open the door. Keeping her pace, the filly opened the door very slightly and peeked into the room. From her spot behind the door, she could see a dresser to the far left. The large bed rested on the far end of the room against the wall, and beside that was a nightstand with one drawer and one bottle resting on its top.
Azure spotted her mother on the bed, beer in one hand, and some sort of book in the other. She could see her mom's eyes were puffy with a red tint to them. There was a wetness down her cheeks that told the filly that she had been crying very recently. She watched in silence for about a minute, the only change being the occasional flip of a page as her mother continued to look through the book, stopping between gazes to sip from her bottle.
Although every fiber in her body was telling her that enough was enough, Azure found leaning into the door more. Her head slowly found its way through the opening completely, sticking out completely on the other side. The side she dared not to cross into for so long.
It didn't take long for Dash to take notice that something seemed out of place. She pulled her gaze from the book, spotting Azure looking through the doorway. Her heart felt heavy as she looked over at her daughter, who was watching her with curious and fearful eyes once she had been spotted.
We've got eyes on us! Evacuate immediately!
Ignoring her flight instincts, Azure tried to play it cool as she unintentionally stared down her mother. "H-hey, mom..." She began, giving herself a few seconds to think up any reason she could for being in this position. "S-sorry to b-bother you! I just w-wanted to make sure y-you were...doing alright..."
Rainbow's ears fell flat against her head, her eyes dropping back to her book. "I'm fine..."
Azure could tell she was lying, but knew better than to press her any more. She had the opportunity to walk away from this unscathed and figured that it would be best to do just that. Turning around, her hand still on the doors knob, she started to leave, pulling the door with her.
Rainbow's eyes closed, clenching tightly as she closed her book and let it rest on her lap. "Wait!"
Azure paused, her body going stiff from her mother's sudden raise in volume. She cautiously turned around to face the mare, noticing her distressed look, but not daring to say anything about it.
Dash's face would twist and contort, clearly struggling with something. She pushed hard against her own feelings. Desperate to get the words out, she opened her mouth, letting herself relax some before speaking. "I...W-would you like to...I don't know..." Once again, she found herself unable to follow through. Second verse same as the first, as they say. Only this one was stuck on loop, caging her up within her own mind. It was with a heavy sigh that she was able to put an end to this torment. "Never mind...Everything's fine so...Go out and play, I guess." She turned her attention back to her book, waiting for the filly to leave her
...I'm not buying it
Azure managed to brave the storm so far. Leaving now would feel plain wrong. She took a brave step forward, once again crossing the forbidden threshold and standing proudly in place. "Mom, I know that you're going through a hard time." She began, keeping her tone as calm as she could manage. "And I understand that this all happened because of what happened to dad..." Dash felt her heart skip a beat at the mention of her late coltfriend. A hurricane of mixed emotion quickly began to stir up as her daughter continued to speak. "But, I'll be here to support you if you need me to. I can try to help you get better!"
"I love you, I really do. That's why I need you to work with me here." Rainbow's entire body became tense, her grip on the book and her bottle tightening until her knuckles cracked. It wasn't her daughters fault. All she wanted to do was help her. "There's so much more to do than sit around like this all day, mom. We can sort this out if you just let me-" But this...raw, powerful mix of emotions was driving her up the wall. She didn't know what to feel; sadness, anger, rage, helpless. These were only made worse by the fact that her own filly was talking to her as if she were the mother, and herself the weeping child. "-in and stop being so secluded. You're killing yourself by staying this way!"
"Azure!" Dash called out, her tone sounding more hurt than authoritative or demanding. She blinked back her tears as best as she could, sniffing hard. "Just...please...leave me alone..."
Azure wanted to fight back, to finally drag her mother out of this funk she had locked herself in for so long. However, she was all too aware of the mare's stubbornness. She was sure her own hard-headed nature came from her mother. With that in mind, the only thing she could do to avoid having this blow up in her face was to simply submit. It tore the filly's heart to pieces watching this for so many long years with nothing to combat it. So long had the mare who raised her been locked away, keeping everypony she knew at bay. And for what? What could she possibly gain from being alone?
These silent questions would fall into the void with so many others that have yet to be answered as she obeyed her mother and left, closing the door behind her. No matter how much it hurt, Azure couldn't say anything. There was only one thing that might have a chance at saving her mother’s life and that was her father. If she hadn't promised to not to say anything, she would have told Rainbow about him the seconds she saw her.
It was all too confusing to figure out. Azure knew that in order for her mother to get some form of closure, and maybe even stop being such a recluse, was to see her father. But her father, despite wanting to amend his so called 'past sins', was more than a little hesitant on meeting Dash so soon. He said he would make his way to her, but he needed time. Time for what though? Her mother was suffering right in front of her and there's nothing she can do to stop it and the only one that can help is keeping his distance. Why?
Why? Why!? WHY!?!?
Something had to be done about this, Azure thought. It's clear that her father is very sensitive, and Celestia herself knows that her mother isn't, so he wants to take things slow. But maybe, just maybe, she could give him a little push? A friendly shove in the right direction! Yes!
The dread that had filled Azure just moments ago was quickly replaced with determination and it showed through the grin on her face. She would do whatever it takes to bring those two back together. She has to. Who knows what will happen if they stay apart any longer. Maybe it'll be like love at first sight for them. They'll see each other and become overwhelmed with emotion! They'll rush into each others arms and it'll be great! A happy reunion that would end in a fractured family becoming whole once more...
Well! What are you waiting for; a written invitation? Let's fix our family!
Azure took off with a pep in her step, while Dash remained seated in her room.
Rainbow sat in place with an arm over her eyes, fruitlessly wiping away the tears that simply refused to stop flowing. She kept her emotions quiet, which she could take some pride in. They were becoming so overwhelming though. In the recent days something has felt more off than usual to the mare. Something was wrong, so wrong...
Pulling her arm from her face, Dash looked back down at the book. Her eyes scanned the photos that lay within, bringing back so many memories of a time she took for granted. She found herself staring at one photo in particular. It was taken in a little bar in Ponyville and all of her friends were there; Applejack could be seen in the background, sitting at the counter and yelling at the mare running the bar. Fluttershy was even further in the back, hiding out in a booth with Rarity, who had chosen to keep the poor mare company so she wouldn't have to be scared and alone. Of course, Pinkie being Pinkie and all, the bubbly pink mare was throwing confetti onto an annoyed looking Twilight, who had a protective hand over her small glass.
Then there was him...
Ryan sat, not at the bar, but on the bar. There was a great big, drunken smile on his face, which could be seen through the lime in his mouth. His shirt was ripped down the middle, exposing his stomach and chest. Then there she was, right in front of it all. She was holding the camera after all. The moment was too great not to capture. There was an empty shot glass in her free hand and she had her face against human's bare chest, her tongue out to lick the thin trail of salt from between his 'man tiddies'- as he called them.
Rainbow couldn't help but to a laugh a little at this memory, as she had so many times before. She could remember it clear as day, she would dream about it when she slept. It felt so good to be back there, to pretend that he was still around and that nothing had changed. It hurt too. It always would when she woke up to see that none of it had been real. Just her mind and her heart lying to her as she silently called out for his return. It happened even to this day.
Just over a year after Ryan died she would often visit that very bar, sitting at the counter and ready to drink the night away. Almost every time she would lose herself in her thoughts. She would fantasize about the human walking in. They were usually the same; he would come in, sit next to her and they would just talk and laugh. It would change sometimes. One she could remember very well was when he came in dumped a pitcher of beer over her head. Normally, something like that would set her off. But seeing his smiling face, those glowing blue eyes staring into hers, she couldn't care less what he did. She would just be happy that he was there. The fantasy would always come to an end though and she would find herself sitting at the counter alone, with an empty glass held tightly in her hand.
Of course, Rainbow knew this was wrong. She was aware of her problem of not being able to truly accept that he was gone. Her mind was stuck in the past and it was the only thing that made her happy anymore. The memory is of him being there. She couldn't help herself. She knew he was gone, but something deep down just refused to let go of him. It didn't feel like he was gone. It felt like that time they had gotten into a huge fight and he had done everything he could to avoid her. If she didn't know any better, she could have sworn that she still felt him. Like he was out there somewhere; hiding from the rest of the world. And in these recent days, this thought only grew more powerful...
It was probably just in her head. And that was the part that hurt most of all. She traced her fingers over the photo from the bar, her body beginning to quake as her eyes watered once more. Stray tears fell from her muzzle, landing in the photo album. They rolled down the pages as if to torment her further, being a reminder of the stream that claimed her coltfriend so many years ago.
Rainbow closed the album, setting it to the side of the bed. She went to take another drink from the bottle in her hand, but stopped before it could meet her lips. A look a disgust and anger took over her features as she tossed the half empty bottle against the wall. The clouds absorbed the impact and it landed on the ground with hardly a thud. Curling into herself, she let her body fall to the side, nuzzling the bed when her face met the comforter. The tears that rolled down her face soaked into the blankets beneath her as she closed her eyes, praying that sleep would take her away from this world of hurt; take her somewhere peaceful where she didn't have to feel this way. A place where she could be happy again.
Maybe she would dream about him again, she thought. At least then she could enjoy the comforting illusion of his embrace surrounding her, giving her temporary relief from all of this weight that felt as though it were slowly crushing her heart.
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fun stuff.
"I can see why no one reads them." you thought wrong
And here we go again
Is it a Good chapter because it was well written? Is it a Bad chapter because my emotional response?
I felt physically ill after reading the sad part.
Jesus Christ now I’m thinking about children and stuff and second verse same as the first is going to put me in a hearse.
10/10 would die inside again
9442318
Ok I threw up a bit and I feel fine now
You comment whore. I still love your story. It's better then I thought it would be
9442348
Good to know how much faith you have in me XP
9442320
I'd tell you to see a doctor, but I'm pretty sure that half of them are full of shit.
I knew that was why rainbow was drinking and staying home so much... Shits gonna hit the fan when she finds out
Oh holy fuck, Azhure honestly thinks her parents meeting will bring nothing but warm and fuzzies.
Poor girl is gunna be bitchslapped by reality so hard.
Bar scene was a nice touch, salted tequila shots always fun way to fuck yourself up.
Well the shitswitch is about to engage
9442362
Nah man. What I thought was a massive emotional breakdown was actually just the wrath of the whole pizza I ate in a single setting
It’s not easy being cheesy
Oh no not again. Poor kid is gonna be scared for life. RD sees Rusty and flips her shit. Grabs him in a bone breaking hug. THEN proceeds to beat him black and blue and bloody for having put her through this for so long. It is going to be a wild ride. Love this story series and always excited to see a chapter update!
Poor dash.....
Ah... Dash is gonna think she's hallucinating when she sees Ryan again and runs away. Not looking forward to that at all :c
...great stories...series...bah whatever Fantastic story so far hope to see more soon
Like button smashed✔️,comment left✔️
DID YOU DOUBLE CHECK THE LIST SPIKE!?
"Witty comment✔️
And I think that's it!