• Published 21st May 2018
  • 4,588 Views, 187 Comments

Rust In The Breeze - Twisted Brew



After so many years of running with no destination in mind, this wayward human decides that its time to go home; To Ponyville!

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Chapter 6

Rusty groaned as he was stirred from his sleep by something shaking him, which he found mildly annoying. It was hard enough to fall asleep in a moving vehicle, let alone one that was long enough to rival a building and had an obnoxious horn that would go off every time they entered a town. With a loud yawn, he was content to ignore whatever was shoving him and fall back asleep. However, whatever was trying to wake him up appeared to be rather persistent, shoving him harder and faster.

Another groan escaped the dirty, unshaven human as he lifted his head and looked back to find the source of his disturbance. Kneeling down beside him was Rod, a young colt he's grown to see as a younger brother but with more hair. The colt stared down at him with a sad look in the his eyes. This raised a couple of red flags for the human. This was a child for Celestia's sake! What could possibly be troubling him?

Fuck you, kid!

Rusty pulled himself up, his annoyed expression changing to worry. "You alright, Rod?" He asked with a concerned tone. He hated to see his brother looking so downtrodden. He couldn't explain it, but it made him feel like there was a hole in chest.

Rod looked down, his eyes becoming oddly focused on the floor. "C-can I sleep with you tonight?" He asked in a hushed tone, nearly a whisper. "I-I...I had a bad dream..."

Rusty breathed a sigh of relief, placing a hand to the colt's shoulder and rubbing it comfortingly. "Is that all, bud?" He asked with a light chuckle. "Holy crap, Rod; You had me scared there for a second."

Sniffling, Rod wiped his nose with an arm, looking at his brother weakly. "'I'm sorry, Rusty..."

Seriously, fuck off!

Unable to say 'no' to his illegitimate sibling, Rusty unzipped his coat and held it open, motioning for the colt to come closer. Rod eagerly climbed into the clothing, pressing his small body into the human's torso, wrapping his arm tightly around the much larger form beside him.

Rusty was taken back by Rod's vice-like hold on him, but didn't protest. He laid back on the hard metal floor, closing his coat and wrapping his arms around his brother to keep him warm. The colt's grip only tightened, causing him to worry for him once more. "Is everything alright, little man?"

Rod was slow to respond, but the words that left his mouth sent a chill down the human's spine. "Please don't leave..." Rusty was frozen for a few seconds, unsure of how to respond. Why did Rod think he was leaving?

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere." Rusty began, placing hand on Rod's head and petting him. "You hear me, runt? You're stuck with me forever and ever-" His fingers found their way to the colt's sides, wiggling mercilessly against the sensitive area, earning an enjoyable wave of laughter from the small pony. "and ever and ever!" He hoped this would work, and he was relieved that it did. He didn't know what gave Rod the impression that he was leaving, but his tired mind tossed those thoughts aside for later. Right now, all that mattered was cheering up his little brother.

Rod tried to squirm out of the human's grasp, but to no avail. Luckily for him, Rusty stopped shortly after and held him tightly. The colt smiled at the gesture, feeling much better as he started nuzzling his big brother's chest. "...promise?"

Rusty smiled to himself, giving the colt a comically loud kiss on his forehead. "I promise! As long as I live and breathe, you will never be rid of me."

There was a small wave of dread that built up in Rusty's chest as these words left his mouth. His smile turned to a frown as he looked down at Rod, noticing something odd. His vision was spliced in the center, as if his eyes were opening for a second time. The split in his vision only grew and when it finally consumed his eyesight he found himself lying in a bed, the brown colt that was previously in his arms now a blue filly that was resting peacefully in his hold.

Rusty let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. The dread in his chest only grew as he looked back on his promise, his old life, his new life and the life he unknowingly abandoned as a result. Even while trying to do right by everypony, he couldn't help but feel that he was only complicating things by being here. He knew in his heart that this was the right thing to do, but part of him felt like this was a bad idea, that he never should have come back. And it wasn't exactly being subtle.

Fuckin'...called it...


"Spike!" Twilight called out from her seat in the throne room, looking over several books on magical theory and energies of the world that lay haphazardly over the map/table surface. Her horn sparked to life as she levitated several books that proved useless at the moment into a neat stack on the edge.

The young drake waddled as fast as he could to Twilight's side. "Yes, Twilight?"

"Can you please return this stack to its respective shelves?" Twilight requested, not taking her eyes off of the books in front of her as she scanned them with enough intensity to make a rock shiver from her gaze.

Spike sighed and grabbed the stack, standing nearly twice his size, carrying them out of the room and making his way to the castle library to put them back where they belong. On his journey, he passed by Starlight, offering her a light 'Good Morning'.

Starlight returned the greeting, but eyed him awkwardly. This was probably the twentieth time she seen him do this in the last two days and it was starting to make her worry. Twilight doesn't usually go this crazy with her books unless something earth shattering has happened, or is about to happen. With this thought in her head, she made it a point to pick up her pace and go to see Twilight. She made it to the throne room with no issues, but the princess was so consumed with her research that she didn't even notice when the unicorn walked up behind her, glancing over her shoulder to get a look at her reading material.

It took everything in Starlight's power not to roll her eyes once she realized what the Princess was doing. "Are you seriously still stuck on that?" Twilight looked up from her book, looking shocked when she spotted Starlight standing behind her. "I get that you want to respect your friend's judgement and all, but aren't you taking this a bit far?"

Twilight let out a defeated sigh. Even if she didn't believe a word of it, she couldn't help but wonder if what Rarity had said was true, and if it was, how he managed to stay hidden for so long. "I know, Starlight; It's outlandish and simply impossible. But, what if he's actually here? What if he somehow survived and is back in Ponyville."

As frustrating as this all was, she could understand Twilight's reservations...not really, but she didn't like arguing about sensitive topics like this with her. However, she couldn't let her friend start building up false hope. It would only hurt her more down the road. "Twilight, I know it's hard. Really, I do! But Ryan is gone." Starlight stated in the softest tone she could manage. "It's been ten years. You and your friends are just gonna have to accept that."

The unicorns words cut Twilight deeper than she would have expected. "But, what Rarity said...and Azure-"

"Azure is a child!" Starlight interrupted a little more coldly. "She still thinks cooties is an actual, lethal disease. And Rarity; Do you know for a fact that she's not just saying this? I mean, has she even show any proof?"

"No, but-"

"Twilight, please!" Starlight begged, her tone softening once she had a second to collect herself. "Just drop this, alright. He's gone and nothing will ever change that. And sitting here, awaiting some sort of miraculous return that will never come, is only going to drive you and your friends crazy."

She was right...Twilight knew that their alien friend was gone, but for some reason, her heart begged to differ. Despite all this knowledge she's accumulated over the years, she couldn't help but lose herself to the possibilities when it came to her friends' well-being. And Ryan, he was a special case all around. A total anomaly!

Twilight and her friends have done a lot of dangerous things, pulling through the hardest tasks imaginable and coming out stronger than ever. Most ponies would break under that kind of pressure. Ryan though, there was something so unique about him in that stance. No matter what he did, whether it be plain stupid or grossly asinine, he always pulled through, just like them. Everything that should have brought his life to an end hardly left a mark on him. If she were being honest, she wouldn't be all too surprised if he had survived that fall and walked home with nothing more than a limp. But, she knew that wasn't the case. It's been ten long years since he passed and her and her friends were still hurting.

It took forever to get Pinkie out of her room when she heard what happened. And when she finally did, the pink spaz was hell-bent on searching the fall he jumped into in order to find him. Rarity stopped talking for three months straight, Fluttershy cried for nearly as long, Applejack fared about the same as Fluttershy, Dash spiraled into an alcoholic cycle after Azure was born and has been that way ever since, hardly leaving home to this day, and all Twilight did was try to pretend like it never happened in hopes that she could bring her friends back together again.

They were all still friends, of course, and would take the time to see each other, but it became much less frequent after Ryan died. All the hilarious- and sometimes hurtful- memories of his torment would wash over them every time they met and before any of them could stop it, the whole room would fall into an emotional roller-coaster. He may not have been the best friend they ever had, but he was still there friend. And when he died, part of them died with him.

Twilight's melancholic thoughts were interrupted by a knocking at the front door. She was about to get up and answer the door, but was stopped as Starlight pressed a hand to her shoulder gently pushed her back into her seat. "I'll get it." Starlight said with a sigh, "Just...Please put all these books back. Once I'm done we can go out and get something to eat; My treat."

Twilight nodded, putting on a weak smile. "I think that's a good idea...Thank you, Starlight." Starlight offered a warm smile in return, leaving Twilight to her own devices as she left to answer the door.

With her gone, Twilight got to work on gathering up all the books, closing them individually and organizing them into neat stacks to be returned to the library. She stood up from her seat, looking over her work with a sad sigh, knowing that everything Starlight said was all too-

"AHHHHHHHH!!!" Starlight's shrieking pierced Twilight's ear like pins, her instincts kicking into full gear as she raced to the front door. She came to a grinding halt, her feet only sliding a few inches across the floor as she saw the purple mare on the floor with a hooded pony standing in the doorway. It was holding out a hand, only for the unicorn to swat it away and crawl back. "No! No! No! NO!!! You're not real! You can't be!"

The ONE time we try to be nice and we STILL get hit!?

Rarity barged in, shoving past Rusty as she glared daggers at the collapsed mare. "For Celestia's sake, Starlight! He was just trying to help you! There's no need to resort to hitting!"

"She hit him!?" Another voice called out. Azure running in and grabbing the hooded man by his side. "Are you okay, daddy? She's usually so much nicer than this! She didn't hurt you did she?"

You outta slap the taste out of her mouth! Mares should not hit stallions, period! Especially when that stallion just so happens to be OUR DAD!!!

Get this fuckin' kid off of us, you bitch lord!

"I mean, really, Starlight!?" Rarity continued to snap at the frightened unicorn still crawling away on her hands and feet. "Have some manners! Is this how you would treat-!"

"ENOUGH!!!" Twilight's voice echoed through the air, shaking the very walls around them as she marched to the group. "What in the wide, wide world of Equestria is going on here?"

All eyes were now on Twilight, minus Starlight's, whose were staring at the hooded figure with a horrified expression on her face. All she could manage was slowly dragging herself away and pointing at him while muttering. "You're not real." over and over again.

Twilight quickly took notice of her friend's dismay, turning her attention to the hooded 'pony' at the door to examine it. The first thing she noticed was a strange lack of muzzle, but she couldn't see his face too well under that large hood. The next thing she noticed made her stomach twist up in a knot. It's hands were more than a little exposed, lacking any fur on their surface, minus a few thick, dark hairs that wrapped around its wrists. Her eyes shot back up to its face and, without warning, her horn lit up as she pulled down its hood with her magic. A loud gasp was all that could escape the alicorn as her heart skipped a beat in her chest.

"SPIKE!!!"


The room was silent as death, unwanted stares boring into him at every turn; Some were out of anger, but most were in disbelief. The magic barrier made it impossible for him to hear anything happening outside of his small prison atop of the friendship map. He could clearly see the mares talking back and forth, most of them appearing to be arguing. He could only assume Rarity and Azure were pleading on his behalf, trying to convince everypony else that he was indeed who he claimed to be.

Rusty wasn't even remotely surprised that they reacted this way. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst; As they say. He didn't foresee this particular event, all of them thinking he was a different human, or some kind of rouge changeling. However, he was more than expecting the shock and possible containment. Twilight had a habit of doing stuff like this to him back in the day, when he first came to Ponyville. Not that he blamed her, of course. The good lord knows he deserved much worse than what he got back then. Especially when he found out how easily he could escape given the extreme lack of magic in his system.

Not wanting to cause a further rift, or scare the literal crap out of any of them, he decided against breaking out of the barrier and instead chose to remain silently seated until approached. During this time, he looked around the room that held the mares that used to call him 'friend'. Out of all of them, minus Dash, who he was thankful for not being present here, there were only two ponies that looked back at him. This was primarily due to the fact that they were the only ones not fighting with the others.

His eyes first rested on Fluttershy, who looked back at him as if he were a ghost. Her large, sad eyes practically stared into his soul, desperately trying to read him as he looked back at her. Then there was Pinkie Pie, who surprised him the most when she saw him. He could honestly say that this was the one and only time he ever saw her stop moving completely! He was actually concerned, given that he couldn't tell if she was breathing or not.

Aside from that, he only felt the hole in his chest grow upon seeing them all. He didn't want for all of this to happen so fast, but it didn't look like he was being given a choice anymore. Again, he was relieved to see that Dash wasn't here, but curiosity begged him to ask why. This question was left to fester within him for now though.

Not that they would hear him through this bubble...

It took longer than he would have liked, but eventually the other ponies settled down just enough to stop fighting and turn their attention back to him. This didn't make him feel any more comfortable, but at least there was a chance of him getting out of the magic dome without causing a fuss. Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Starlight and Azure all gathered back around the table, their focus now entirely on him.

Rusty stayed in his place, reaching a hand up to scratch at his patchy beard in an attempt to calm his nerves. He kept his cool on the outside, but inside he was losing his mind.

And he needs to quiet down! This was your idea, not mine! I'm going into my hidey-hole until this is all over. Fuck! You!

"Thanks for the help..." Rusty muttered to himself, waiting for something to happen while trying not to have a stress induced panic attack.

Twilight opened a small hole in the barrier, about the size of a baseball, which was just enough for him to hear her as she glared into his very being. "So...Ryan-" She began, not believing for a second that it was really him.

"Rusty..."

Twilight raised a brow at his interruption, "Excuse me?"

"I go by Rusty Nails these days." Rusty simply replied, seeing no point in trying to drag this out.

Twilight's glare became a confused stare as she tried to formulate a response. She quickly shrugged it off though and went on with what she was saying earlier. "As I was saying; I want to know who you are, where you came from and why you are here?"

Rusty saw no other option, he'd have to sit back and answer her questions if he wanted to get out of this peacefully, and with any chance of redeeming himself. He took a breath, feeling more than a little disgusted introducing himself this way. "There was a point in time where I was known Ryan Doyle Curtis the third...I came here from earth as a result of a mistake made by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. I've lived here for years now, made one screw up after another, then got so fed up with everything I was doing that I threw myself off of a cliff...Hoping that it would be the end of me..."

His words got everypony to blink in surprise, with the exception of Rarity and Azure, who seemed more sad than anything else. Rusty continued to speak out of guilt, his conscience begging to finally be free of some of this pent up self-loathing. "I uh...I hurt...all of you. In some way, shape or form, I managed to hurt the very few in this world that actually cared about me. And for the longest time, I didn't care." He wanted to keep looking at them, but the hurt in his chest forced his gaze downward. "I don't know how it happened. I don't why it happened...But, I started to care. Every little thing I did started to haunt me. Cut me deeper than any knife ever had."

A select few of the glares in the room started to soften at his words. They didn't seem pleased by any sense of the word, but less hostile. "It only got worse as time went on. I would think back to everything I had done prior and-" He paused, sniffing hard and wiping his eyes with a sleeve. "it just...became so overwhelming...I didn't know what to do. All I knew was that the more I was around, the more I hurt all of you and that hurt me..."

Rusty looked up, his eyes wet as he stared out at the mares before him. At the very least, he could say he wasn't the only one that looked like a sniveling child...Not including the sniveling child. "I just wanted the pain to stop...I wanted to stop hurting you all..."

Starlight was the first to break the silence that occurred as a result of the human's words. "No...I refuse to believe this." The unicorn walked closer to the opening, peering in at him with a glare that could melt steel. "If you really are Ryan, then how were you able to hide from the princesses?" This question got Twilight's ears to perk up, being curious about that very thing as well.

Rusty licked his lips, his gaze moving down to his torso. He reached into his shirt, pulling out the stone that had played a major role in all of this. "Shadow Stone..." Both the unicorn's and the alicorn's eyes went wide once they saw this. Even Pinkie Pie, on the other end of the table, seemed to recognize this particular stone. "Completely blocks off any traceable energy at-"

"At the price of blocking off all magical potential." Twilight finished, having read up on some enchanted stones like this back in Celestia's School for gifted unicorns. "But, for a creature wielding no magic..."

Rusty nodded, confirming the alicorn's explanation. "It completely negates the negative side-effects."

Starlight took a step back, much unlike Twilight, who leaned in to question him further. "How in Equestria did you find one of those?"

"I didn't." Rusty replied, "It was given to me by the stallion who pulled me out of the lake. He thought I was in some kind of trouble and slipped it on me. When I explained everything to him, he agreed to let me hold on to it as long as I would help him and his family get by."

The evidence was becoming clear, missing pieces of the puzzle coming together. Twilight could actually believe that this was Ryan. Even when she was so sure that he was gone. It felt weird to see him as he was now, so calm and gentle...and vulnerable. But, it could very well be him! The alicorn was all too ready to lower the barrier, but the southern bell stomping her way over threw off her concentration.

"Ah knew it!" Applejack announced, stopping just inches short of the barrier as she leveled an angry finger toward the trapped human. "Ah knew it was you I saw that day!" Still very much fuming, she couldn't find it in her to hold any sympathy for the friend that had abandoned them for a whole decade. "Why now...Why wait so long? What's even the point of you coming back after puttin' us through all this heartache!?"

Of all of the ponies here, Applejack was probably the one that could hurt him the most. Even in his borderline sociopathic state, he still considered her family his own. This made her words more harsh than any of the others to him and it showed. "You...You made me come back..."

Again, he didn't feel like dragging this out. It was already heart-wrenching enough for him without being cryptic or vague. "After all these years of traveling and creating a new life and a new identity for myself, you managed to shatter this thinly painted illusion I had myself under." He explained, doing his best to continue before she could have the chance to interrupt him. "I spent years going all over the world, carefully constructing a whole new person out of myself. And after a while I thought 'This is is it! I did it! I'm free, I'm happy and I'm finally a good person'."

During his brief continuation, Rusty smiled and smiled bright. At the end though, his smile fell. "Then I saw you..." He placed a hand to the barrier, doing his best not to push too hard on it. "And I realized that none of that was true. I was doing the same thing then that I've been doing for years." Applejack's expression softened as she listed to his words, feeling how genuine and how hurt he was. Out of some weird instinct, she raised her hand to the barrier, pressing it against the spot where his rested on the other side. "I was running away from my problems instead of facing them...And I'm tired of running..." His fingers curled, pushing through the barrier with only minor struggle and interlocking the appendage with her own. "I want to make thing rights." Applejack pulled her hand back in shock, rubbing it with her unoccupied one.

Rusty pulled his hand back into the barrier, his insides churning uncomfortably as he truly faced this information himself for the first time since his failed suicide. He began to look around the room, addressing everypony as he spoke. "I'm not here asking for forgiveness. That would be selfish... But, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to earn it...If you're willing to give me the chance."

I can't take it anymore!

Rusty heard a faint knocking on the barrier. He had to turn around to find the source, which turned out to be a sobbing Azure desperately trying to break the spell with her fists, grunting with every swing.

She really is our child, isn't she?

"I think that comes from both sides." Rusty muttered with a small laugh. Much to his surprise, the barrier dispersed, which was all the filly needed to charge into the human and nearly tackle him into a hug.

"It's okay, daddy!" Azure called out, holding onto her father as if her life depended on it. "I forgive you. J-just...Please don't leave again!"

Rusty had to fight back a lot, never being one to get too emotional. But, for some reason, this was really tugging on his heartstrings. He gladly wrapped his arms around Azure, having to breathe deeply in order to keep himself composed. "I won't leave you...I left you alone long enough...I won't leave you again..."

In this moment, the rest of the room didn't matter. His full attention was on the sweet, adorable filly in his hold and he never wanted to let her go. The hearts of everypony witnessing this became warmed by the sight. It was unlike the Ryan they used to know, but perhaps he has changed over the years.

Twilight took a step forward, "Rya-" She stopped, feeling somepony holding her arm.

Looking back, Twilight spotted Rarity. The unicorn's hand held her firmly in place, but there was a warm smile that made itself known to the princess. "Rusty, darling..." She corrected, "His name is Rusty now."

Twilight smiled back, nodding as her friend released her. Continuing her previous actions, the alicorn got as close to the table as she could. "Rusty..." The human, still holding his filly, looked over at her. "I think I speak for everypony in this room-" She paused, looking around to make sure everypony was in agreement. Their warm smiles and happy tears were all she needed for confirmation. "when I say that I'm willing to give this 'new you' a chance to start over...Welcome to Ponyville Rusty!"

Judging from the room, Rusty could see that something oddly jubilant was gonna happen, if the trembling Pinkie Pie was anything to go by. However, there was something he needed to ask before it got out of hand. "Before anything else!" He all but shouted, pulling his head back to look at Twilight properly. "Can I ask you for one favor?"

Twilight blinked in confusion, unsure of where he was going with this. "I...I guess?"


Steel Hoof wiped the sweat from his head as he set the case of water down next to the closed train cart. It was unusually hot this time of day, but that could have been from all of the walking around he did just to buy the essentials his family would need. The water left him short on bits though, so he was hoping his lovely wife and adorable son managed to pull in enough to get them a decent supply of food on their next stop.

Speaking of, Steel was able to spot the two as soon as he turned around to look for them. They were only a short distance away, with Rod held up in his mother's arms, but even from here he could see the look of shame on Scarlet's face. A pit formed in his stomach as soon as he saw this, knowing all too well what it meant. It was going to be a rough couple of days for all of them.

Scarlet started in as soon as she reached him, setting Rod down as she went in to hug embrace her husband, which he happily accepted. "I'm so sorry dear! We made practically nothing..."

Steel held her close, quietly shushing his mare as he rubbed her back. "It's okay, love. We'll make it through this." He said comfortingly, "We always do." his words always did help Scarlet to relax, but she knew that this would eventually catch up with all of them and they would start to go hungry until their next stop, to which she could only hope ponies would be generous enough to help them out. "Come on, let's go inside."

The couple separated from their embrace and Steel grabbed the cart door, pulling it open with ease. Once opened, his eyes went wide, as did his wife and son's. "What in the name of-?" Their eyes scanned their normally bare cart, looking over the wooden crates that now took up nearly a third of their home.

Steel grabbed their water and set it on the edge of the cart, wasting no time climbing in to investigate. Scarlet and Rod followed behind, but stayed a fair distance back as the stallion looked over everything, unable to make heads or tails of the purpose of these wooden boxes.

Scarlet Pulled Rod into her side, concern taking over her features. "What do you think is in them?" She asked in a worried tone.

"Only one way to find out, I guess." Steel answered, walking over to the nearest crate and pulling on the lid until it snapped off. He looked into the crate, dropping the top of the box and placing a hand over his mouth. "Oh my word..."

"Stay here, Rod." Scarlet commanded, walking over to the crate to get a look at it contents for herself. What she saw baffled and confused her. Several nonperishable and canned foods laid within, filling it nearly to the top. This caused her mind to spasm just a bit. "M-maybe...Maybe they ran out of space in the other carts...And this is for a...a smaller town?"

Steel nodded his head, "Impossible, this is a steel driving train. They only transport metal."

"Look what I found!" The couple turned back to see Rod pulling an scroll off of one of the crates. The curious colt unrolled the scroll and tried to sound out the words he saw. "Ffff...Ffffrrr...Fffrraaahhhmm...Frahm...Roo...Rah? Russt...Rusty?" Rod suddenly started beaming with delight as he saw his brother's name on the scroll. "It's from Rusty!"

Steel approached Rod slowly, holding out his hand. "May I?"

Rod eagerly shoved the scroll into his father's hand. "Read it! Read it!"

"What does it say?" Scarlet asked from behind him.

Steel cleared his throat as he look over the letter and began reading aloud. "From Rusty: I can never truly repay you for all that you've done for me. But, please accept this gift from both me and Princess Twilight as a start!?"

Scarlet nearly fell over in shock, managing to catch herself on one of the crates. "H-he...He had the princess...send this to us???"

"I knew that he had magically inclined friends, but...a princess!?" Steel shook his head before continuing to read on. "So much has happened in the few days that I have been gone. My old friends are willing to give me a chance to make things right, but I felt I had to do right by all of you first. Please come to visit when the train stops in Ponyville, I have someone I would like you to meet. I am staying in the Carousel Boutique with my friend, Rarity. Yours truly; Rusty Nails."

Scarlet could only blink in response, her eyes going back to their widened state as soon as they would open again. Rod, on the other hand, was squinting as he looked at the back of the scroll. "T-T...Thaaa...Thhhhannn...k...Thank..."

Steel turned his attention to Rod, following his son's gaze back to the scroll. Flipping it over, he realized that there was more written here. It was short, but he thought it best to read it to everypony anyway. "Thank you for keeping my daddy...safe...Azure Breeze..."

Author's Note:

You guys were so close to freedom...But I aint dying yet! Y'all are stuck with me!
Slap that LIKE button like a bitch! Comments and all that!
I'm not sober enough for this authors note :P
The, always lovely, Deka edited for me once again! Love ya, bud!