AN: If you are reading this before July 25th, please go back and read Chapter 2. I redid Chapter 2 because I was unhappy with the direction I was going in my story. I do hope you enjoy the revised Chapter. I keep forgetting to tell you guys that this story is posted on fanfiction.net and fimfiction.net. My profile on both is Phoenixtears28. Thank you again for all the reviews, favorites and follows. Seeing that people love my story gives me the motivation to continue writing. Pairings will come later in the story, but you’ll have to wait and see who they are. From here on out, Harry will be known as Hadrian. That’s all I can think of for now. Enjoy the next chapter!
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Last Time: Harry moved forward and touched his horn to hers. Information flooded his mind about Equestria’s history and what he was capable of. After a few minutes he felt himself starting to lose consciousness due to information overload. “Please tell my daughters their mother and father love them, and we will always be watching over them.” Solar Wind spoke one last time before he completely lost consciousness. His last sight of her was her smiling as she transported him to Equestria.
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Chapter 3: Meeting the Princesses
It was morning time. Princesses Celestia was preparing to raise the sun. She was silently waiting for her sister Luna to lower the moon. They stood side by side as they had done every morning and evening since Luna had returned to her several years ago. Luna had finished lowering the moon and Celestia had just started her magic to raise the sun when a massive crash was heard.
The sound of the crash broke Celestia’s concentration but she merely froze a few seconds. She looked at Luna. “See what that was Sister. I’ll be right behind you.” She said as she finished raising her Sun.
Luna had no need to respond as she whipped around and followed the guards that were running or flying towards the castle’s main courtyard. “Close the gates. Make sure no one comes in or out!” she ordered the nearest guard to her.
The courtyard was dusty from whatever had crashed into the ground. Luna lit her horn and prepared a spell. She didn’t know if whatever it was, was dangerous or not. She neared the shallow crater as the dust started to clear. “Everyone stay back.” She said firmly knowing the guards would listen to her.
Celestia caught up with her sister and prepared a shield spell knowing she was better with defensive, rather than the offensive spells that her sister excelled at. Side by side they neared the crater and gasped in unison at what they saw.
A large near black pegasus stallion lay in the crater. One of his legs was obviously broken. He was unconscious. The two Princesses went cautiously to his side. Celestia shot several spells at him to see what injuries the stallion had.
“Sister are you seeing what I’m seeing?” Celestia said softly to Luna.
“I am, but I thought all the males of our kind were killed off.” Luna said looking over the stallion. Their males were large and had massive wings, but their magic was more based in weather manipulation and control. Where the Pegasus could help shape the weather they could not directly control it. She couldn’t help but think he was quite handsome. She blushed at where her thoughts led.
“Apparently not.” Celestia replied as she stabilized the unconscious stallion. “We need to get him to the medical wing, now. He has some internal injuries that I can’t get to out here.” Celestia said urgently. She conjured a stretcher and levitated the stallion onto the stretcher.
Celestia turned towards the guards. “The courtyard needs repaired. Get the contractors to repair the courtyard. They will be paid for their work. Say nothing of the stallion.” Celestia ordered the guards.
As the guards went to work Celestia and Luna teleported to the medical wing with the unconscious stallion. He was put on a clean bed as Celestia and the other medical ponies went to work healing the stallion.
Luna looked on in curiosity. She made sure to stay out of their way. She was curious about the stallion but knew there would be no answers until he woke.
A couple hours later, the stallion was healed as much as was possible. The leg break would take a couple days to fully heal and stabilize. Now all they could do was wait for the stallion to wake and then they’d hopefully get answers.
Luna had been sent to bed awhile ago. Celestia on the other hand had canceled her court for the day. She knew she wouldn’t be up to dealing with the noble’s problems. Celestia finally left the medical wing and went to her office. She left orders for the medical ponies to let her know when the stallion had awoken.
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Hadrian slowly woke. He had a massive headache as he tried to organize the massive amount of information the Empress had passed onto him about Equestria’s history. He laid still and acted as if he was still asleep. It was a left-over reflex from the war. Not knowing how long he lay there, he could hear someone breathing next to him.
Hadrian sent out the barest bit of magic to try and sense the intruder’s intentions. He got back feelings of concern, curiosity and caution. He figured that would be normal in the situation. He did just come out of nowhere.
“I know you’re awake, stallion.” Luna spoke up. She’d been monitoring the stallion’s dreams but was vastly confused about the imagery she saw. Beings that stood on two legs and had no fur except on their heads. Fighting in a war. Luna was young when she last witnessed all-out war, but that didn’t answer what the two-legs were and why the stallion was dreaming of them.
Hadrian tensed up and snapped his eyes open. He looked at the mare standing next to him and glanced around the room as much as he could from his position. “I’m in an infirmary. What’s the damage?” he asked, his voice raspy. It seemed even here, infirmaries were white and clean.
“Front left leg broken, three broken ribs and some minor internal bleeding. The bleeding has stopped, and your ribs and leg have mostly been healed. You will need to stay here a couple days to let the magic stabilize your bones.” Luna replied as if giving the daily weather report.
Hadrian nodded as he shifted into a better position. He winced as his leg and ribs twinge. “You must be Princess Luna.” He said nodding to her respectfully. “Forgive the bluntness, my princess, but your mothers visions of you didn’t do you justice.” He said giving a mare a smile.
Luna looked sharply at him. “My mother is dead.” She said coldly. She didn’t really remember her parents. She was still a young foal when the war broke out that killed almost all her race. Only leaving her and Celestia.
“My lady forgive me for being blunt. I have information for both you and Princess Celestia regarding a new threat.” Hadrian spoke firmly.
Luna stared at the stallion. She nodded. “What is your name? It’s apparent that you know who me and my sister are.” She suddenly asked.
Hadrian blinked. “Sorry, I am Hadrian Grani. I shall explain everything to you and your sister, but it is important that I give you this information.”
Luna nodded. She went to the door and sent a guard to fetch Celestia. “She will be here shortly.” Luna said sitting down in a chair as she awaited her sister.
Hadrian laid in silence as he silently prepared his story. He had no reason to hide who he was or what he was. He just hoped the Princesses believed him. He was also curious about being able to change back to his human form. He knew the hallows followed him. The wand and stone had absorbed into his body when he became Master of Death. His cloak seemed to have a sentience of its own and was currently invisible.
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Celestia had fallen asleep a couple hours before the guard came to let her know the Stallion had woken and was requesting her presence. The guard also informed her that Luna was with him. That was to be expected as she could do her nightly work from anywhere.
She got up and made sure she was presentable before making her way to the hospital wing. She walked in and nodded at the night staff that was monitoring the stallion. They silently left knowing she wanted to talk to the stallion privately.
She entered the room he was in and noticed Luna in the chair near the bed. The stallion on the other hand was propped up and seemed to be meditating. “Luna said that you were awake and needed to speak to us both.” Celestia stated politely.
Hadrian was aware when Celestia entered the room. He opened his eyes and nodded respectfully. “Thankyou for coming Princess. I know this is sudden, but I have information given to me by your mother Empress Solar Wind.” He said hesitating a bit.
Celestia went rigid at her mother’s name. She gave Hadrian a hard stare trying to decide if he was serious or playing a nasty prank on her and Luna. “Unless you have a very long-life span or can talk to the dead, there’s no way you could’ve spoke to Mother.” She said sternly.
Hadrian grinned sheepishly. “I can speak to the dead, but your mother is not dead. She’s with your father holding back the darkness.” He said. He sighed. “I should probably start at the beginning, so you aren’t confused.”
“That would be wise Hadrian.” Luna said giving him a hard glare.
“First thing you ought to know is I’m not from this world or dimension. This is not my true form. I am what is known as a human.” Hadrian started off.
Celestia perked up at this. She knew of a human dimension. Her old apprentice lived in it of her own choice. “I’ve heard of human’s but had never seen one.” She stated.
Luna looked at Celestia confused.
Hadrian saw the look that Luna gave her sister. He slowly started to shift into his human form due to his injuries. He didn’t want to agitate them further. “Normally the change is instant, but I didn’t want to agitate my injuries.” He said moving his legs and sitting along the side of the bed facing the two Princesses.
The two sisters eyed his new form. Finally, Celestia responded. “Understandable. Please continue.”
Hadrian continued his story. He briefly mentioned his childhood at the Dursleys and his years at Hogwarts. He started to slow when he got to the final battle where things went to hell.
The final battle wasn’t at Hogwarts like everyone expected. Voldemort had planned very carefully and attacked London. Due to it being a weekday and quite busy at the time, there was no way the Obliviator’s could wipe that many memories. Not to mention the phones and security cameras capturing the action.
“I managed to kill Voldemort, but the secret was out. Muggles were aware that magic existed. There was much distrust between magical’s and muggles and for awhile we thought the two worlds would eventually mesh together. We were completely wrong.” Hadrian said sadly.
When the muggles learned what we were capable of, they couldn’t decide if they wanted to kill us or use us. Regardless, the magical’s wouldn’t accept either option and World War III started.
Due to the magical’s technology they learned to track us down and started killing us. We were vastly outnumbered. Eventually, I used an ability that I had but never used. I was able to bring back the spirits of the deceased. They were able to put some sense in the muggles heads, but by then it was too late. Our world was dying because its magic was mostly gone. The muggles turned their attention to finding a new world, while the remaining magicals went back into hiding.” Hadrian said softly knowing that was quite an information dump. He was busy reliving the pain of those years.
“The war lasted for 50 years. I am 67, but I will forever look 17. That was the age I was when I gathered the Deathly Hallows and became Master of Death.” He finished off not looking at the princesses. He was too afraid to.
Luna and Celestia were gaping. Both had tears in their eyes. They were horrified at what Hadrian went through. Gathering herself Celestia cleared her throat before speaking up. “I am truly sorry you went through that, but please continue. How did you come to be here?” she asked gently as if speaking to a foal.
Hadrian looked at them. “After the war, my people turned on me. They gave me the option to get my affairs in order before sending me through the Veil. Normally no one would ever return and was assumed dead. But due to me having the Hallows I just floated in darkness. I’m not sure how long. There was no way to tell.” He said starting the next part.
“Eventually I heard a female voice speaking to me and bringing me out of my Limbo.” That’s probably the best term for it anyways. “I asked who it was, and I started seeing light around me. There in front of me was a white alicorn with red tipped wings. She had on silver armor and a curly reddish orange mane and tail. She introduced herself as Empress Solar Wind.” He said watching the Princesses reactions.
“She explained that she sent me a projection of herself. She asked me to help you two with the coming darkness. She also said that she and her mate Emperor Night Dreamer were not dead, but they were stuck keeping the darkness at bay, but they were weakening. She wanted me to warn you that you need to be prepared to fight back against the darkness.” He said trying to remember every word the Empress told him.
“She wanted me to remind Princess Celestia of her lessons as a foal and that they would help guide her. She wanted me to tell Princess Luna to stay strong and stay at her sister’s side.” He went on softly. “I am truly sorry. I wish I knew more, but that’s all your mother said.” He said looking on at the two Princesses.
Celestia and Luna sat there silently taking everything in. “I should call in Twilight and Cadence. They will need to know.” She said to Luna. She turned to Hadrian. “Please turn back into your Pegasus form. I want you to stay here and heal. Don’t hesitate to ask for food or pain medicine. One of the nurses will help you bathe. We will meet back in a couple days when the other two princesses have arrived.” Celestia ordered firmly.
Luna spoke as Celestia left the hospital wing. “I will be observing your dreams.” She said bluntly. She could tell a lot about a pony by what they dreamed about and what made them tick, but since Hadrian was bluntly honest with them, she felt honesty would be best in this case. “When the Doctors release you, we will assign you a room.
“Thankyou for your kindness Princess.” He said awkwardly bowing. He then settled back into the bed to rest and heal.
Hadrian Hadrian Hadrian. Either make your character an OC, an original character, or keep to one name please. Either is acceptable, but each has their downsides. Not all OC's can have all the powers (for instance a wizard oc couldn't have the hallows because Harry has them), but it also gives you more control over the individuals personality and background. As it stands it looks like you wrote it as an SI(self-insert) and swapped your OC out for Harry to make it more palatable. It comes across to me as disingenuous.
I'm kind of confused. You said he was a pegasus but Luna and Celestia refer to him as "their males" as though he's an alicorn. Or is this just me?
Okay, so he is a pegasus...
As I said it looks a lot better; a lot less cringy and contrived. I don't even mind the alicorn thing if that's really what you want to do(I've done alicorn OC's before myself and they're doable if you have a reason for it) but that old cover art...*shudder*
You should change his race description, he is not à pegasus. Saying he is one is only confusing. The way you have writen this story a male alicorne that differs from the females are better.
9069565 Sorry about the name changes. This is an HP/MLP crossover. I am not using an OC. It's Harry that has been brought to the MLP world. I know the Harry/Hadrian thing is confusing, but in my opinion Harry sounds more like a nickname then an actual name. That is why I call him Hadrian. Grani is his animagus forms name just as his dad's was Prongs and Sirius was Padfoot. So his full name is Hadrian James Potter-Black.
And yes the cover art sucks. It was meant as a basic picture so people can have an idea of what Hadrian looks like. The picture was made on the Pony Maker so if anyone wants to make an actual picture of him I'd be more than happy to post it.
To Luna and Celestia they would recognize him as a male Alicorn as they remember when there were male alicorns. To anyone else male alicorns are a myth and something they don't think is possible. To anyone else, he would look like a massive pegasus. I know you can only comment on what's written so far, but please remember as a reader, we have more knowledge about what's going on. We are privy to our characters thoughts and thought processes as well as their background information. Everything will be answered in time.
9072257
Hmm. I’ll agree that only you know where the story could go but I ask that you don’t pull a Ryan Johnson and say viewers have no clue what they’re talking about and that it’s just beyond our ability to comprehend. That’s a very fine line you’re walking.
As for the Hadrian thing? Your headcanon doesn’t make sense to an outside viewer. You need to get this point across in the story. Maybe put something in the first chapter calling him Hadrian James Potter, Harry to his friends. Because as someone who reads a bunch of fanfics, several of which used Harry Potter, this is the first time I’ve come across this idea.
And as the other guy said, just have Celestia think about it or something. The phrase is sexual dimorphism.
9077992
Not sure who that Ryan person is but all I'm trying to say is there's in character knowledge and out of character knowledge. Everything will get explained eventually in the story. Just not immediately. There's things that need to be built up in the story. This story is going to be a slow burn at least until my son is back in school.
Harry is calling himself Hadrian at the moment because he doesn't really know anyone that he'd consider a friend.
9079270
As I said, don’t mind the new headcanon over the name but you need to tell the readers this. The name Hadrian came up I think once in the first chapter and I dismissed it as a typo, then you had in chapter three the name being used exclusively. I’m pretty good at making logical leaps as needed but there was no set up for it. What if I wrote an MLP story and was writing a story about Moonbeam? You can take a guess about who that is, but without the author coming out and saying that it’s Luna, it could also be another character. In fact i’ve Read it as another character in a fanfic.
And Ryan’s the director of Star Wars 8, he called his audience foul names when people pointed out issues with basic bits of his story. Like the fact that when a space ship runs out of fuel it doesn’t stop or that a person with no training who can do EVERYTHING is a Mary Sue/poorly designed character. A YouTuber names Mauler did a good job of pointing out the worst offenders in the story. Point of that is that you want to tell your audience a story. Yes you know the story, but putting your nose in the air and dismissing concerns because “it’s my story” can lose you your audience. It’s the reason I engaged with a reviewer who attacked my story until he started insulting my mother. I want my readers to follow along. Otherwise, why bother posting it?
Please don’t assume the audience will just accept tons of logical leaps. Some are expected, many can make a story interesting. But too many and people lose track of what’s going on. At that point the audience gets confused and only the most invested will stick around hoping to see their concerns relieved.
Keep up the good work. Thanks for the good story.
Celestia caught up with her sister and prepared a shield spell knowing she was better with defensive, rather than the offensive spells that her sister excelled at. Side by side they neared the crater and gasped in unison at what they saw.
A large near black pegasus stallion lay in the crater. One of his legs was obviously broken. He was unconscious. The two Princesses went cautiously to his side. Celestia shot several spells at him to see what injuries the stallion had.
“Sister are you seeing what I’m seeing?” Celestia said softly to Luna.
“I am, but I thought all the males of our kind were killed off.” Luna said looking over the stallion. Their males were large and had massive wings, but their magic was more based in weather manipulation and control. Where the Pegasus could help shape the weather they could not directly control it. She couldn’t help but think he was quite handsome. She blushed at where her thoughts led.
seriously?? again with the pegasus or alicorn thing???!!!
no offense,but im literally confused right now
There are a few things I wish to question...
First of all is Harry really a pegasus or an Alicorn?
a few excerps from your story:
Last Time: Harry moved forward and touched his horn to hers. Information flooded his mind about Equestria’s history and what he was capable of.
AND:
“Sister are you seeing what I’m seeing?” Celestia said softly to Luna.
“I am, but I thought all the males of our kind were killed off.”
This sounds like he is an Alicorn how else would he have a Horn and wings.
and Luna and Celestia are Alicorns or are they not in your fic?
please explain this.
I did not read any of the other comments of this story because I wish to hear this from the so-called Horses Mouth directly ^^" (Pun-Pun-Puuun)
sincerly
J
9172459
I just spent 5 minutes on google looking it up and everything from Wikipedia to the fandom wiki and not one mention of Hadrian came up. This information coupled with this being the first time i’ve Seen such a thing leaves me to believe that you are confusing headcanon with canon. If you could link me an example either here or in a pm i’ll Gladly turn back on this but I’m not seeing it and my point stands. Besides, both the teacher in the first year and the goblet of Fire used Harry Potter. If his name was different, i’d Assume these artifacts wouldn’t work properly.