Death Speaker

by Phoenixtears28

World War III (Edited)

Death Speaker

AN: HP and MLP belong to their respective owners. As much as I wish to own them, I don’t :)

AN2: Please expect slow updates. I write when I can. My son and work take first priority. I am looking for a Beta if anyone is interested.

Chapter 1: World War III

A young man stands in front of the Veil of Death. He stands at 5’9”. He is slender and lean but has a swimmers build. He has emerald green eyes and dark brown hair that will not lay flat. He’s wearing a black robe that goes down to his feet. When he shifts you can see black boots made of dragonhide. His name is Hadrian ‘Harry’ Potter or the Boy-Who-Lived, or more recently Death Speaker.

Hadrian sighs as he makes one last check of his belongings. He has a shrunken chest filled with gold and books and prepared meals in stasis. He’s honestly not sure where he’ll be going but wants to be prepared regardless.

You might be wondering as to why he’s standing here in front of the Veil of Death. Long story short, the world is dying. Gaia, or Mother Earth has slowly been losing her magic as the muggles lay claim to her surface as well as the things that make up her life blood.

Many years ago, at the end of Voldemort’s reign, he managed to reveal the magical world to muggles. At first everything seemed ok, but then distrust kicked in. The muggles united and a war started out between muggles and wizard kind.

The Muggle/Wizard war became known as World War III. Nowhere was safe as the muggles found ways to identify magical hotspots. They used Satellite Imagery to find places that were normally hidden by magical means. If muggles couldn’t destroy their targets with their military, they used guided missiles that could be controlled through remote means. Voldemort was killed when he showed himself to the muggles.

The muggles were successful in wiping out most wizards and magical creatures, but there were small pockets that survived. The damage was done though. As magic was killed off, so did the magic of Mother Earth. The muggles realized this and turned their attention to the stars. They wanted to find a new world to live/conquer.

The muggle/wizard war lasted for 50 years. Only a fraction of wizards and magic kind survived, about 10% survived but their magic was weaker. Most of Harry’s friends were killed during this war. Hermione and Ron were killed when they went to Australia to find Hermione’s Obliviated parents. Her father shot her when she revealed that she was a witch. Without their memories of her they thought she was hostile when she brought out her want to do the reversal spell.

As Hermione started speaking the spell her father shot her. As she lay dying the spell did its work. Her parents were devastated when they realized they killed their only child. Both parents turned the gun on themselves. They felt they deserved it.

Ron was devastated at Hermione’s loss and threw himself into the war. He was killed during a military strike that wiped out Hogsmead. He died trying to protect a young child. There were no survivors.

Harry on the other hand survived as he always did. But to his dismay he was not aging. He still looked as if he was 17, the age he was when he had gathered all three Hallows. Harry fought on throughout the war. He worked with the Unspeakables to figure out a way to hide themselves from the muggles.

Harry grew cold and cynical as time went on. He didn’t hate muggles, but knew it was either them or the muggles. He knew there was only one way to make the muggles back off and it was an ability he did not want to use. Deep underground he started a ritual that would bring the dead back in spirit form. From his connection to the dead, he knew they only wanted peace. He opened a portal that allowed the dead to come forth as spirits.

Terrified the world stopped as the spirits spoke to their loved ones. The spirits meant no harm and only wished to get their wishes across. While the muggles were occupied, the wizards went into hiding in the last location muggles would look. Antarctica. The wizards made their home under the ice where nothing could penetrate. They were safe for the moment and began to rebuild not knowing of the muggles plan to desert the planet.

The remainder of the wizards did not like the fact that their savior had not changed. They were afraid of him due to an ability that manifested. He could speak to the dead. They considered that dark and him a dark wizard. After a lengthy council meeting they gave him a choice. He could walk through the veil willingly, or he could be kissed by a dementor. Harry only got these choices because of the things he did during their war.

Harry brokered a deal with them. The Wizengamot would allow him to get his things in order and make a will and he would be allowed to walk through the Veil. Harry was allowed to go to Gringotts bank under armed guard. There he made his will and went into his vaults. He decided to empty his smaller vaults but left his family vault alone. That would be split between his remaining friends and family. While there he gathered as many books as he could fit in his expanded chest.

With his final things in order he was marched to the Veil of Death. He turned to the waiting crowd and saw their fear of him. He spoke to them one last time. “Your arrogance has brought you to your end. Muggles control this world. Our kind is dying. Soon Mother Earth will die when the muggles have taken every last ounce out of her. You are a dying race.” Harry sneered.

“You fear me because I can speak to snakes. I can talk to the dead. Your fear and hate led to your downfall. To be honest I’m happy I won’t be here to witness your final fall.” he said turning quickly and walked into the Veil. He did not know that this was only his beginning.

Comments

[Reykan]

It’s...so contrived. It feels forced and VERY rushed. Not only that, but your story summary gives too much away. It’s supposed to be a hook, to draw readers in. It’s fine to explain some basics but if you literally write out a summary of everything, what reason do we have to read it? We already know how it ends.

Honest suggestion is to redo this entire thing. The muggles unite...have you seen the real world? You think everyone out there would unite against the possibilities brought about by magic? The death of the companions was also pretty forced and you said they were shot in two near-consecutive sentences. Relax, give some more details, try to make the start more realistic(I know, ponies; who needs realism? But it helps keep your audience connected. As to Harry’s mode of transport...I understood the veil as a death sentence. Maybe if Voldemort won and they threw him through it would make sense but to willingly commit suicide?(in other words, why does Harry think this is like a portal to somewhere he can live as opposed to the insta-death I’ve heard it described as?)

I’m not saying stop writing. Far from it. Love this story. Give it details. Breath some life into it and actually think about the how’s and whys. It looks like it could go somewhere, but you need to stick with it and work for it!

[Starlight Nova]

Why isn't there a dark tag?

[Reykan]

Hadrian sighs as he makes one last check of his belongings.

uh, what? who's Hadrian? lol, assume it's Harry. Autocorrect?

They wanted to find a new world to live/conquer.

to live on/conquer? I'd also be careful about the slashes, you kind of abuse them. Once or twice a chapter is fine but you're using them like I used to use commas. It's a lot cleaner and a lot easier to follow this time. Not one for misanthropy, but eh, a lot happens in war. Either you come out stronger in your convictions or you break.

[flutterboot]

9069500

I think Hadrian was Harry’s real name.