Death Speaker

by Phoenixtears28

Into the Void and Beyond (Edited)

AN: If you are reading this before July 25th, 2018, you will find that this chapter was mostly rewritten. It was rewritten because I hadn’t had an outline for the story. In between the original chapter and this new one, I realized the chapter as it was would not fit in with the story. We’re on Season 8, Episode 13 at the time I am writing this chapter.

Reviewers: I’d been getting many requests to continue with the story and I truly appreciate you all that enjoyed the story so far. But I got a few reviews that was making other comments and I wanted to address those. First off, I will try not to give spoilers or hints about what will happen in the next chapter. Two reasons for this. 1) I don’t like being spoiled. This was always a pet peeve when people would give hints as to what is going on in their stories.

2) I can’t always promise I’ll get to certain things in the next chapter. This might be because the chapter is running too long, or it may just not fit into what’s happening currently. I don’t want to be locked into a promise that I might not be able to keep.

This story is going to be a slow burn mainly because I can’t always write regularly. I would love to get a chapter out a week, but real life happens and that’s not always possible. Now onto the story!

~~HP/MLP~~HP/MLP~~HP/MLP~~HP/MLP~~HP/MLP~~HP/MLP~~HP/MLP~~HP/MLP~~

Last Time: With his final things in order he was marched to the Veil of Death. He turned to the waiting crowd and saw their fear of him. He spoke to them one last time. “Your arrogance has brought you to your end. Muggles control this world. Our kind is dying. Soon Mother Earth will die when the muggles have taken every last ounce out of her. You are a dying race.” Harry sneered.

“You fear me because I can speak to snakes. I can talk to the dead. Your fear and hate led to your downfall. To be honest I’m happy I won’t be here to witness your final fall.” he said turning quickly and walked into the Veil. He did not know that this was only his beginning.

~~HP/MLP~~HP/MLP~~HP/MLP~~HP/MLP~~HP/MLP~~HP/MLP~~HP/MLP~~HP/MLP~~

Chapter 2: Into the Void and Beyond

Harry didn’t know what to expect when he walked through the Veil. He’d shut his eyes as he walked through. Soon as his body went through he found himself in Darkness. He felt like he was floating and honestly at piece in the first time in ever. He welcomed the Darkness. It was warm and comforting and felt like he was in the arms of his mother.

Harry wasn’t sure how long he remained that way. He wanted to stay in the warm and comforting embrace forever but that wasn’t to happen. He slowly became aware as little dots of light started appearing.

“It is not your time. You have more to look forward to young one.” a female voice spoke. From where Harry could not say. Harry sighed knowing she was right. “What more is there?” Harry asked resigned trying to get a grasp of his body. He could feel the embrace loosening.

“There are others that need you, young one. Change is coming, and my foals have need of someone that can protect them. My foals have forgotten what war is. They’ve forgotten that there are dangers within and without. They are not prepared for the dangers ahead.” the female voice said. There was a sudden white light and Harry closed his eyes instinctively before opening them again.

He found himself in a starry void. In front of him was a large white mare with flowing and curly flame colored hair and beautiful white wings tipped in red. She had a long sharp white horn. He gasped in both surprise and awe at the beautiful creature before him. “What are you? Who are you?” he whispered staring at her.

“I am Empress Solar Wind. I once ruled a world known as Equestria before me and my mate Emperor Night Dreamer had to leave. Eons ago we had to leave our world to seal away a great evil. Our daughters Celestia and Luna took over as the Two Princesses.” she said sadly. The pair was still alive, but they were the ones keeping back a threat that would wipe out the planet if it was let loose again.

“I truly wish I could be there. What you are seeing is a projection of what I look like. I am speaking in your mind right now as that’s all I can do.” She said explaining why he could see and hear her without her physically talking. “My mate and I want to ask, no beg of you, to help our daughters protect Equestria.” she said kneeling before Harry. “They are in grave danger that they have no idea what is coming. War is coming to Equestria and they have forgotten what it is like. You know what it is like. You can help them prepare.” She pleaded.

Harry could feel her pain and if he was honest with himself it took everything in him not to fall to his knees. Harry had tears in his eyes as he listened to her plea. “I want to help, but, how can I? I couldn’t even help my own people.” He said softly. He remembered his last words before he walked through the veil and felt guilt. He felt betrayed at how they turned on him, but that didn’t stop him from caring for their fates. His warning to them was just that. A warning.

Solar Wind looked at him and nuzzled his chest. “You have it inside you to change your form. I can sense your power. All you need to do is go inside your mind. You will meet your form there.” Solar Wind spoke pulling back.

Harry smiled softly. It sounded like she was speaking of an Animagus form which he’d been working on before World War III started. He never achieved his final form. Harry pulled away and sat down instantly dropping into his mindscape. He fully opened himself up and felt for his inner form.

He gasped when he came face to face with a tall dark grey, almost black horse with wings. It was a Granian if he remembered his creatures right. A horse with long wings that was extremely fast. He was slightly larger than Solar Wind and built like a warrior. He had a dark grey mane and tail. His eyes were emerald green. He accepted his form immediately and felt his body slowly change. When the change completed he slowly stood up on all four legs and a slowly walked getting a feel for his new body. “I am Hadrian Grani.” he said firmly knowing that’s what his name was.

Solar Wind looked on happily at the handsome young stallion. “You will be a strong ally for my daughters. I know you will find your own mate as well. Come, touch my horn and I will give you my final gift before I send you to my daughters. You will need to know how to use your form and yes you can change back and forth between your human and Granian forms.”

Harry moved forward and touched his horn to hers. Information flooded his mind about Equestria’s history and what he was capable of. After a few minutes he felt himself starting to lose consciousness due to information overload. “Please tell my daughters their mother and father love them, and we will always be watching over them.” Solar Wind spoke one last time before he completely lost consciousness. His last sight of her was her smiling as she transported him to Equestria.

Comments

[Reykan]

Cinder...Blaze. What? Why?!? What about Harry makes you think that name would work? What does it say about him? He was a hero, a warrior. A soldier of light. Cinder Blaze is the name of a bad OC. A Pegasus if we’re lucky. You’d be better served leaving his name alone. And the information just being...uploaded. I want this to succeed, Phoenix, but you’re honestly killing your story with all of this contrived bull. There’s no effort. No way for us to connect to Harry. He’s dead inside at best, a murderer at worst who destroyed the world through his actions and left laughing at the people he damned.

Finally, your comment about the seasons at the start worried me. Are you starting at current? You could start anywhere. Hell, I did a story that started 3 years after the defeat of Discord by Celestia and Luna. You don’t have to start at the current episode, in fact I PRAY that you aren’t.

[Reykan]

I’ve Been watching for changes and the story summary looks 200% better in its current form. It’s a lead in, a hook that makes promises of what’s to come and where it will go. Please let me know if you need help with anything. I don’t want to scare writers away, but people need to think about their stories. I understand I can come across as overly belligerent and I apologize for that, but I get upset when I feel people are trying to rush to what they feel will be the more entertaining bits to write. I’ve deleted five chapters out of an unpublished story(well over 10k words) because I didn’t like the direction it went and didn’t want to write something that felt contrived. I think you can do something fun here, so give it ALL your best. Not just the parts that are fun to write.

[Reykan]

I read through it and the first chapter looks.. cleaner. Still stuff I don’t care for but i won’t bitch too much about that. Hell, I still don’t like how some of my stories started.
I still don’t care for the presupposition in the second chapter. They outright tell Harry he’ll be a ruler. That’s messy in a lot of ways. What has Harry done that makes them think he’s a good choice (especially when you originally had him abandoning his people while laughing at their doom/damnation. That wouldn’t fly with Celestia and Luna)? What makes them certain it will work? Do you think Luna and Celestia are just going to accept him? Maybe you’d like that, but unless there’s a big threat he can help with to prove himself, they aren’t going to blindly accept him. And this gets to another issue. When you start making memories things you can put on a USB and transfer like that, all he has to do is show them the memories and they’ll be okay with it. And I feel that both cheapens the experience and skips a lot of possible conflict and growth. Why is Harry needed here? Is there a threat? It would need to be something he specifically is prepared to deal with, otherwise a random original character may have been a better choice(a pre-existing hero is actually harder to write, because the traits and personality are already decided).

I’m happy to see you sticking with this story. It has potential, lots of it. I’ve been binging Harry Potter fics lately and I would like to see this end up in such a state as to get entry into good crossover groups. You have a way to go, but the changes and corrections give me hope. I think you can pull this off.

And don’t be afraid to PM me, i’d be happy to talk to you about writing in general. Sometimes just a second brain to bounce ideas off of can be a great help.

[Reykan]

I can’t always promise I’ll get to certain things in the next chapter.

People who complain about such things don't understand storytelling. The story needs to flow, and I'd rather read a story that drags a bit and goes into detail than gushes through the timeline.

Dunno if the chapters are long enough to warrant a recap, but it looks a lot better.

[k-artistre]

He gasped when he came face to face with a tall dark grey, almost black horse with wings. It was a Granian if he remembered his creatures right. A horse with long wings that was extremely fast. He was slightly larger than Solar Wind and built like a warrior. He had a dark grey mane and tail. His eyes were emerald green. He accepted his form immediately and felt his body slowly change. When the change completed he slowly stood up on all four legs and a slowly walked getting a feel for his new body. “I am Hadrian Grani.” he said firmly knowing that’s what his name was.

doesn't that mean his a pegasus?

Harry moved forward and touched his horn to hers. Information flooded his mind about Equestria’s history and what he was capable of. After a few minutes he felt himself starting to lose consciousness due to information overload. “Please tell my daughters their mother and father love them, and we will always be watching over them.” Solar Wind spoke one last time before he completely lost consciousness. His last sight of her was her smiling as she transported him to Equestria.

and yet he suddenly appeared to have a horn?