“What am I going? If someone finds out I just let the new king of Equestria just walk out the door, I'm in so much trouble. What am I going?!” I said as pasted back and forth in front of the castle library.
Where it says what am I going isn't it meant to be what am I doing?
8959512 Thank you pointing that out I really get narrow side at sometimes and forget to go back and edit I can catch myself for the most part but sometimes it slips through thank you
Isabelle, what happen to Amy?. The story is starting to fall apart, try to not trow in random characters that has not been given a proper reason for existing, it is confusing. And dont forget earlier interactions with characters for future events. If there has been no interactions and the chars start talking like they are the closest of family, and support lies or truths without even the reader knowing them it will read bad.
“yes I am.” I snapped my fingers and everyone was teleported out. Except nightmare moon “If you have a problem with it you can take it up at our customer complaint department at 1-800- go fuck yourself.” 'I was up for two days straight you try being the nicest person when you're absolutely tired’.
Nice Chapter besides a few grammar errors, but I suggest you to change a few sentences a bt more so that they'll fit better in 'A new hero'. Also I am not angry at you for copying some sentences, I rather find it hilarious, but you should maybe consider labelling inspired by Don't You Dare.
8959795 Amy kind of watches Casey die. As supported from the details here
As I walked away I saw Amy so I called her over as she was coming closer my vision started to blur and something whorm run down of my face. I rubbed off with my hand. I looked down at my hand with horror it was covered in blood. I then fell to the ground passed out from blood loss.
8959558 (This isn't directed to you, but to the people who downvoted your comment) Wtf guys? Everyone is intitled to there own opinion, if they think the story is great, THEN IT'S GREAT TO THEM. You shouldn't be hating on someone else's views, if you don't agree with them, then just ignore it for celestia's sake! The kid, teen, guy/girl is just expressing there opinion, no need to be anal about it.
Where it says what am I going isn't it meant to be what am I doing?
love reading this. it just fun to read
Wow... Luna just shot towards the big prize didn't she?
8959512
Thank you pointing that out I really get narrow side at sometimes and forget to go back and edit I can catch myself for the most part but sometimes it slips through thank you
Isabelle, what happen to Amy?. The story is starting to fall apart, try to not trow in random characters that has not been given a proper reason for existing, it is confusing. And dont forget earlier interactions with characters for future events. If there has been no interactions and the chars start talking like they are the closest of family, and support lies or truths without even the reader knowing them it will read bad.
Improve, and plz continue
Damn son. Really burnt the almonds coming up with this one, didn't ya?
1-800-EatADick would have been better
Nice Chapter besides a few grammar errors, but I suggest you to change a few sentences a bt more so that they'll fit better in 'A new hero'. Also I am not angry at you for copying some sentences, I rather find it hilarious, but you should maybe consider labelling inspired by Don't You Dare.
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media.tenor.com/images/1058b09a38a728da10b42900677a3874/tenor.gif
8959795
Amy kind of watches Casey die. As supported from the details here
8959492
And to answer your question Djohng all monster magic.
When are you planning to use the powers from Diablo 3, and Reapers shadow skills?
8959558
(This isn't directed to you, but to the people who downvoted your comment)
Wtf guys? Everyone is intitled to there own opinion, if they think the story is great, THEN IT'S GREAT TO THEM. You shouldn't be hating on someone else's views, if you don't agree with them, then just ignore it for celestia's sake! The kid, teen, guy/girl is just expressing there opinion, no need to be anal about it.
OMG😵😆😲😆.still where is Amy though?
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Their*
But that's....how you play Skyrim.
I'm certain the shockwaves could be felt back in Ponyville. ^>^;