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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Yes! Featured again!
Oh god I couldn't even finish the first chapter. You desperately need an editor, because this is some of the worst grammar, dialogue, pacing, etc., I have seen in a long time. You also have a massive exposition issue and there is way too much telling instead of showing.
Actually, is English not your first language by any chance? Having an editor would be a huge step forward for the writing quality and would help you improve as a writer.
Honestly, this is preferable over Season 9.
9984811
English is indeed my first language. Second, my first few chapters suck because I started this story with a tablet, instead of a laptop. Not only do I have a laptop but I also have Grammerly to help fix certain problems.
9985156
You should definitely go back over them in that case. It's good to hear that it gets better, but the absolute most important aspect of a story is the hook. Those first chapters are meant to draw the reader in and make them want to read on. If the first impression is too bad, then it doesn't matter if the rest of the story is the best piece of literature ever written because no one would bother to continue past the bad first impression.
9985326
I see the logic in your thoughts and I will consider it.
9984795
So, how are you going to deal with her living, breathing parents when you hit season 9? Would you have it so that they've been gone for so long that Scootaloo had merely thought them to be dead? Just throwing this out as an idea in case you don't have a plan for it yet.
Hnnnnng, my heart.........