saving private montage

by Bookish Delight

Shoot Down the Sun

Things were going well for General Sunset Shimmer.

Far better than she could have dreamed, in fact. The Monstar Army had been scattered throughout the battlefield and were still showing no signs of regrouping. Meanwhile, the kitchen base was still hers, along with all the scrumptious pizza still housed within. The night had barely begun, yet the Sunlight Army would be victorious in a matter of minutes.

Then again, victory had been assured the second she and Twilight chosen their squad name. No matter how one sliced it, their faction's portmanteau was the best, and Starlight's was awful in the best of circumstances. Still, having the most fortified room in the house, and a crack scientist on your side, hardly hurt matters.

Speak of the demoness—there was that crack scientist now.

Science Officer Twilight Sparkle entered the kitchen, walking in front of, and dramatically saluting, Sunset. "My apologies, General Shimmer. I lost sight of the enemy," she said, slumping with a sigh. "They'll turn up, though. I just know it."

"No apologies necessary," Sunset said, tracing her finger along Twilight's cheek, then kissing it. "You sent them on the run and put the fear of Celestia in them. Probably both Celestias. Either way, because of your exemplary efforts, victory in the Pizza Wars will be ours for the taking." She paused, then chuckled and added, "Sheesh, I'm starting to sound like Rainbow Dash over here. Someone stop me before I start sending emergency group texts for punctured soccer balls."

Twilight giggled. "I'll never let that happen, ma'am." She stepped up to Sunset with a blush. "Besides, it was nothing." She hugged her still-loaded makeshift pillow cannon close to her. "All it took was a sturdy pole and some elastic tubing."

"And that was your first mistake," Sunset heard a voice say behind them, accompanied by the sounds of hissing air, and plastic clacking against plastic. "Going so low-tech, that is."

Sunset whirled around. The window was open, and Juniper and Starlight were standing outside the house, with pump-action water guns trained on her and Twilight.

"Wha..." Sunset could barely sort through all the questions that invaded her mind at once, much less get them out in the open. "How did you get out there? How did you get the window open? How are neither of you covered in feathers?"

"Well, I'll put it this way," Juniper said. "Your second mistake was forgetting that you all decided to hold this war in my house."

"This place's got crawl spaces leading from one end of the house, to the other, to even outside, all over the place—including inside closets," Starlight chimed in. "Private Montage, ready weapons!"

"Ready, ma'am!" Juniper said, as both girls trained their water cannons on the Sunlight Army's two premier combatants.

Twilight aimed back, but the window wasn't open high enough for the projectile to mean anything. At best, a pillow would bounce harmlessly off. At worst, there'd be property damage and broken glass.

Sunset, meanwhile, knew that she'd been caught, flat-footed and unarmed, and cursed her lack of foresight. She briefly considered trying to shield herself with the pizza, but to Tartarus with that—the top box contained her Special Pie, topped with shredded wheat. She did her best to hold back her drool as she spoke.

"H-h-hold on a second!" she said, trying to buy some time. "The rules didn't say anything about Hyper Splasher water cannons! This was supposed to be a pillow fight!"

"Yep, yep, yep. Spoken like a girl trapped thinking inside the box," Private Montage said.

"Indeed," Captain Starlight said. "Hate to say it, but all's fair in love and pizza. Fire!"

With simultaneous trigger-pulls, Starlight and Juniper's cannons doused Sunset's face and top with pressurized water. Sunset recoiled under the blast with a prolonged moan, before falling to the floor, in slow motion.

Before anyone could say another word, General Sunset Shimmer lay splayed in the center of the kitchen—the night's first casualty of a conflict which had claimed many a high school girl in sleepovers past...

...and would surely continue to do so for several sleepovers to come.

Comments

[OmniFox]

Water cannons?