Team Quantum

by Impossible Numbers

Just Shy Of Perfect

Fluttershy hadn’t said a word since she’d walked through the entrance.

This had presented a lot of difficulty at the desk, where the battering ram of Lyra’s excitement and the lock-picking tool of Amethyst’s patience had failed to crack open the door to her thoughts. She’d simply handed over the papers and avoided meeting anyone’s eye, for fear of inflicting psychologically scarring trauma on anyone.

At least Lyra had gotten her a drink while she waited, though Fluttershy hadn’t really wanted one. She’d drunk the hot cocoa anyway, scalding her mouth.

When Twilight had walked into the lobby next door, Fluttershy had alternated between eavesdropping at the door and guiltily hating herself for being so nosy.

And now the jumpy unicorn Lyra – Amethyst didn’t seem interested anymore – hopped into the room and practically sang, “Twilight Sparkle’s waiting for yoooooouuuuuuuuu!”

Fluttershy nodded once to show that she’d heard, and then left at an appreciable pace: not fast enough to offend, but not slow enough to give them a chance to talk to her.

On her way up the stairs, she rehearsed as many answers as she could, and was shocked to find she couldn’t remember a single one. Butterflies swarmed within her stomach as though trying to escape the gastric acid.

She stood outside the door for a few minutes before it occurred to her to knock. After all, she was the newcomer. Maybe there was a protocol to this sort of thing, in which case her hosts should make the first move in case she accidentally shockingly offended them by being impolite.

Dread rushing through her veins, she went in.

Already, it had gone wrong. Twilight was sitting on the opposite side of the desk next to a child. And she was getting up to show respect. Oh, no: now she was smiling to put her at her ease!

“Welcome to Canterlot College,” said Twilight, extending a hoof across the desk. “My name is Twilight Sparkle.”

The door clicked shut behind Fluttershy with a chilling finality. She instinctively avoided eye contact; this was exactly the wrong moment to non-verbally suggest a challenge.

“Fluttershy,” she murmured.

After a while, without relaxing her smile, Twilight lowered her hoof. “Yes, well, nice to meet you.”

“And I’m Sweetie Belle!” piped up the child. “Please take a seat!”

Twilight gave the child a sharp look. That was a bad sign. That suggested Tension In The Ranks. Fluttershy swallowed and sat down.

At once, Sweetie Belle hopped up and crossed her forelimbs on the table. “So, I hear you’re a biologist.”

She really is very small… like a cat. Relief spread through Fluttershy. Cat-sized creatures she could deal with.

“Yes,” she breathed, not daring to speak any louder in case she sounded obnoxious. “I’m good with animals.”

“Ahem,” said Twilight, glaring at Sweetie Belle until the latter sat back. “I must say, from what my sources tell me, you’ve amassed quite a reputation in the field. Biochemistry, evolutionary science, ethology, ecology… and animal husbandry?”

Twilight gave her a faintly worried look.

“Yes,” Fluttershy breathed, feeling like she’d just dropped a few IQ points.

“Forgive me for asking, but what’s animal husbandry?”

Oh no. Not that one. Why did she have to pick that one? Has she never set foot in the quiet countryside?

“It’s…” Fluttershy fidgeted where she sat. “It’s about… farm animals.”

Twilight’s worried look remained. “Well, I guess it’s not important. Pity you didn’t know animal wivery, ahaha, aheh…” The smile died instantly. “Ahem. Anyway, your qualifications are impressive –”

“Ooh, ooh!” Sweetie Belle jumped up and down on her seat, hoof raised in the air. “Miss Fluttershy, how come you’re a pegasus?”

Fluttershy blinked at her, wondering if this was some sort of subtle interview technique. This had never come up in all those workshops she’d attended, though admittedly most of the workshops had been about raising confidence – or in her case, finding any.

“Sorry?” she breathed.

“Only the other unicorns were saying how weird it was how a pegasus would be interested in animals. Normally, it’s earth ponies that do it.”

Deep within her own mind, a little Fluttershy nodded glumly. Whereas interviews were something she couldn’t really prepare for, this issue had come up so often that she’d learned the responses by rote.

“I’ve always liked animals,” she said, now risking in her voice something a little stronger than a breath. “Ever since I was a very little pony, I’ve found them fascinating.”

“Uh huh.” Sweetie Belle leaned forwards. Behind her, a flash of feathers landed on the windowsill, and words rushed into Fluttershy’s head as she stared.

“And I don’t know why me being a pegasus matters,” she continued, but gently. “All I know is that… is that… when I see a small bird sitting outside the window, I just wanna see what it does. How it moves, how it thinks, what kind of song it likes to play, what kind of home it finds comfortable and what kind of food it likes to eat. Where it came from, how it fits in this wonderful world of ours, why it’s the way it is, what it can do and see and feel and touch and many, many, many other senses we can’t even think about. You’ve got an Equestrian Robin outside your window right now! See?”

At once, Sweetie Belle turned around on her seat to look, but Twilight coughed meaningfully. Sadly, the little bird took off as though alarmed by this noise, taking Fluttershy’s rush of words with it.

“Wow,” said Twilight. “You’re a true devotee, I can see that.”

Half-hidden behind a cascade of her own pink mane, Fluttershy inspected the unicorn’s face for any trace of mockery. Nothing obvious. Then she remembered herself and hastily looked away.

“You used to study with us, am I right?” said Twilight.

“Sorry?” breathed Fluttershy.

“I mean at this university? Before? Your file mentioned St Meadow’s College?”

“Oh, I see.” Fluttershy saw nothing for it. They all asked sooner or later. “I do know what the report says, and I want to say I’ve paid my debt to society. I’m a brand new pony.”

Twilight stared at her for far too long.

“You’ve done time?” Sweetie Belle’s eyes widened.

Perhaps I am getting a little… excited. “No, no. I mean the…” Fluttershy swallowed. “Incidents.”

If Twilight had merely been staring before, now she was frozen like a digging machine caught in quicksand. Bits of her twitched with the effort of getting through, but the whole was stuck in some terrible mire of understanding.

“Ah,” she said, voice shaking slightly. “Yes, the… monster incidents.”

Without thought, new words rushed to Fluttershy’s aid. Except these weren’t the gushing waters of before; now they boiled and steamed with volcanic heat.

“They’re not monsters,” she said. “Firstly, ‘monsters’ has never been a good word for any animal. No scientist I’ve ever met would use it. Really, it’s just ponies making bad judgements, just because those animals look big and scary and get angry, which they wouldn’t do if ponies just listened to what I told them and didn’t pull any tails, which I told them not to do. And I’d like to point out that no one ever got hurt or anything like that, except for the poor phoenix, but I never told them to use a fire extinguisher on it when they clearly could have used the fire seed feed I gave them. And I did say I’d paid my debt to society. You won’t get any manticores or cerberus dogs running around the courtyard now. Believe me.”

Hearing a gasp, she looked down and met the sparkly gaze of Sweetie Belle. The filly gawped at her. Part of Fluttershy – possibly a birdlike part native to all pegasi – wanted to preen itself.

“Of course!” said Twilight hurriedly. “Of course. Water under the bridge and all that. Don’t mind me. Just, just…” She coughed again and shuffled her papers. “Well, your qualifications are impeccable, and you clearly have some experience.”

But, thought Fluttershy, coming down from her volcanic high. There’s going to be a “but”. There’s always a “but”.

Oh, maybe she’s too nervous to say it, but I know she’s thinking it. Everyone thinks it. I heard the other ponies at school and at the museum say it.

Twilight’s eyes darted from side to side as though looking for the dreaded “b” word in the air.

Alas, the lava sank further down Fluttershy’s throat, leaving her chilled with a sudden awareness of where she was. There was always the name. She could use the name.

Testing the waters, she broke the silence first. “I’ve also had field experience.”

“Oh?” said Twilight.

Not quietly enough, Sweetie Belle whispered to her, “What’s field experience?”

“Well, Sweetie Belle, it –”

Fluttershy raised a hoof. “May I?”

“Oh.” Twilight shuffled her papers again. “OK. Sure.”

“Field experience,” said Fluttershy, “is where a pony goes out there and watches and learns all about the big wide world. I went to the land of Xenozoica once.”

Sweetie Belle leaned so far forwards that she almost tipped her chair over. “Xenozoica! Wow! Is that the one with the giant monst – I mean, all the really big animals?”

“The largest mammals ever to walk on the planet.” Fluttershy leaned closer too, and for a moment she whispered as though passing on some awe-inspiring secret. “In fact, Xenozoica is the land where all big mammals used to live, long, long ago. Even us ponies. Oh, it’s such a beautiful place! I saw all kinds of strange and fascinating creatures: beavers the size of bears, woolly mammoths and sabre-toothed cats, sloths as big as buildings, and rabbits with horns and claws.”

“Did they try and eat you?” said Sweetie Belle, showing a child’s knack for asking the really important questions.

“Some of them did, bless them, but I had a lot of help from other ponies.”

“Wow. They must be the bravest ponies in the world to set foot in a place like that.”

Fluttershy beamed, but tried to keep it modest for fear of looking too cocky and making anyone hate her. “Oh, they’re committed. I’ve tried to make them better known by writing lots of books about the amazing work they do. I could give you one, if you like.”

“Yes, please! Thank you! And, and maybe I could show it to Rarity! Bet she’d be impressed!”

All too soon, Twilight’s cough broke the spell. Fluttershy’s face and hopes sank.

“I’m sorry,” she breathed, hunching up to look as small and non-threatening as possible. “That was rude of me.”

“We generally try not to promote ourselves on the job,” said Twilight. Her tone was inscrutable.

“Yes, Miss Twilight.”

“We work together as a team.”

Knives of shame hovered before Fluttershy’s heart. Never think you’re better than anyone else. “Yes, M-Miss Tw… Yes…”

“Many of the creatures you’ll encounter won’t be known to science.”

And a tiny Fluttershy batted the imaginary knives aside. “I know that,” she murmured to the desk.

“So far we’ve been lucky, but who knows what dangers are waiting for us in another universe?”

This was too much even for Fluttershy’s weak soul; they were fiddling with the fabric of the universe, and the animals were their number one concern? “Is that including or not including the ‘monsters’?”

“I’m sorry?”

Darn it. Why couldn’t I keep my big mouth shut?

“N-Nothing,” she added hastily.

Twilight hung her head briefly before ploughing on. “What we’re doing is right at the cutting edge of modern science. I understand. And sometimes we end up cutting our own hooves. I will say this; we know how to deal with space-time. We’ve got numbers and logic on our side. But biology is something else. If you throw me a rock, I can tell you the rate of gravitational acceleration one should expect, and lots of us can calculate where it’ll land. If you throw me a monster –”

“A big animal,” Sweetie Belle said, frowning at Twilight and beaming at Fluttershy.

“A big animal… then I can’t tell what it is beyond the obvious.”

“I understand,” said Fluttershy.

“We’re not even that experienced with normal animals. I mean, say I were to pick a big lizard or something from… I don’t know… Carbonifera Forest –”

“Technically, there aren’t any in Carbonifera Forest,” said Fluttershy before she could stop herself.

“What?”

“No big lizards.”

“What? I could’ve sworn there were Hylonomus, or something.”

“Oh, those. They’re primitive reptiles. And they’re not that big anyway.”

Twilight frowned. “But –”

“Lizards are a kind of reptile, but-but-but they’re n-not the same thing. Hylonomus is really a primitive reptile. But not… primitive in a… in a bad way… Not really!” Fluttershy threw the words out and hastily closed the hatch. She’d interrupted. Twice! That was going to cause trouble!

“Right…” Twilight coughed. “Anyway, as I was saying: if a strange animal pops up in our universe, we need to know as much about it as possible.”

“I could help!” Sweetie Belle’s hoof shot up again. “Ooh, ooh, I could be a biology assistant!”

Fluttershy smiled, for she knew without a doubt that she had found an ally. “Oh, that’d be very sweet of you –”

“No assistants!” said Twilight urgently. “No assistants. Not one.” She placed both elbows onto the table and met both front hooves before her businesslike pout. “Anyway, now that we’ve cleared that up… I think I’ve seen quite enough. For the time being, I’m putting you on a trial week to see what you can do.”

Uncertain if this was a good thing or a terrible, terrible disaster, Fluttershy bit her lip and nodded once. She had a sinking feeling as though her insides were fighting to burrow their way out and escape.

“You might be called out at any hour of the day. I want you ready and alert at all times, and judging from what we know about the windows so far, you might be needed anywhere in the city. Presumably, with your pegasus wings, that won’t be a problem.”

You don’t meet many pegasi, do you?

Twilight went on. “I don’t want you to feel unwelcome or ostracised. Anyone who gives you a hard time – calls you ‘featherbrain’, for example –”

Fluttershy stopped herself from gasping just in time. To hear such a word from a respected scientist, no less!

“– you report them to me at once, and if I’m not around, to Moondancer.” She stopped to jut her lower jaw for a moment. “Then again… maybe Lyra’s the next best unicorn to tell. Yes, tell Lyra.”

“Oh, OK.” If I ever have the guts to tell anyone a thing after this. This is so humiliating. Why couldn’t I have just kept my mouth shut? Such a fool…

Once more, Twilight made the mistake of trying to put her at her ease with a shaky smile, itself not at ease. “You’ll be working with one of the best teams in the world. Some of them might prove a tad difficult to work with, but I can assure you that – one or two rocky starts aside – we’ve managed to come together as an extremely efficient unit. Everyone here knows what they’re doing. Luckily, we’ve passed the teething stage, so most of the rest of our work involves building upon that groundwork very carefully.”

“Oh. OK. Uh, I’m happy to –”

“As for training, we’re a little stretched at the moment, but I’m sure you’ll have plenty of opportunity during your first week to learn as you go along. If you have any trouble, come see me. I’ve got files for everything.”

“OK. What about –?”

“Everything.”

Twilight gave her a look that could have been drawn with rulers. Wisely, Fluttershy refrained from further comment. Even Sweetie Belle squirmed on her seat.

Another awful smile threw itself desperately across Twilight’s face. “So, uh… ‘done time’, you say?”

Eventually, Fluttershy nodded. Her tongue and everything in her belly tied itself into knots.

Twilight checked another paper on her desk. She relaxed, almost slumping on her seat.

“I don’t think ‘temporary expulsion’ counts as ‘done time’,” she said cautiously.

“So you didn’t go to prison?” Sweetie Belle grimaced with disappointment.

Still, Fluttershy didn’t dare speak.

“Never mind.” Twilight pushed the paper aside. “Now, I’ve got one or two things to, uh, check up on, but… but-but-but-but-but… in the meantime… I… can… have someone show you around the place? Give you an idea for what we do?” She pressed a buzzer under the desk and then looked past Fluttershy.

“Uh huh,” breathed Fluttershy.

“Don’t worry. For a friendly, easygoing tour of the dome, there’s no pony better than Lyra Heartstrings.”

Behind Fluttershy, the door rebounded off the wall. Hoofsteps thumped over the floorboards.

Twilight gaped. “Where’s Lyra?”

“Not here,” said a voice.

It was not a nice voice. It was husky and dull, punching her brain in the gut before moving on to find something more interesting to do. There was also the tiny, irritating, sloppy chewing sound of someone who’d discovered gum before they’d discovered how to chew with their lips closed.

Fluttershy turned and immediately met the half-lidded gaze of a lemon. Then she leaned away and saw the lemon was the bright yellow face of another unicorn.

Strained, Twilight said, “Fluttershy, meet… Lemon Hearts.”

“Yo,” said Lemon in between chewing.

Fluttershy did not dare turn her face away, but her gaze sought escape. That horrible sound was crunching up her world bite by bite.

“What’s your problem?” said Lemon.

“She’s just a little nervous. Lemon Hearts, meet Fluttershy.”

“Nervous? Why’s she nervous? I ain’t done anything yet.”

Fluttershy coughed, and since it was always awkward to leave a cough to die in midair, she barely managed to whisper, “Hello.”

“Lemon Hearts,” said Twilight. “She is our guest for the week. You know our code of conduct. I expect nothing but a good report from you, especially considering last time.”

“Yeah, yeah, grandma. I got it.” Chew, chew, chew…

“And what are you eating?”

Lemon Hearts stuck her tongue out. Cringing, Fluttershy turned her head away, and caught sight of Sweetie Belle with a look of cherubic innocence on her filly face. Presumably, the filly was taking mental notes for later study. It was a horrible thought.

Then Lemon swallowed. “Anything else I can help you with?”

“Yes,” said Twilight in a voice armed and ready for combat. Fluttershy turned her gaze down to the floor, which was least likely to get her caught in a crossfire, and heard a drawer open and shut before she heard the shuffle of paper. “Last night, I did my customary sweep of the dome to make sure everything was in tip-top shape, Lemon. I was looking around the main simulation room’s supercomputers, Lemon. And do you know what I discovered behind the computer bank, Lemon?”

“No, I don’t,” muttered Lemon. “Twilight. Because I’m not a psychic, Twilight.”

“I found thirteen bottles of cider! Thirteen! Someone must have smuggled them into the building. Again.”

Lemon sniffed. “Last night? Wasn’t that the night when we decided to have a bit of fun and a party, only you didn’t show up?”

“What I did last night is immaterial.”

“Uh huh. A lot of unicorns in the building last night. I expect one of them put those bottles there.”

Twilight sighed. “You know why I don’t allow cider on the premises. The devices contained therein are extremely delicate. A single spillage could destroy months of research.”

“Right, right. So I guess your hatred of all things fun and frivolous had nothing to do with it.”

“I do not hate fun! I just… have my own kind of fun. Anyway, this is not about me. Someone smuggled those bottles in last night –”

“Hold on.” Lemon licked her lips; Fluttershy could hear the slimy, sticky sounds. “Were these bottles full?”

“No. They were empty.”

“Uh huh. So in point of fact, you did not discover thirteen bottles of cider. You merely discovered thirteen bottles of nothing.”

“You know what I mean, Lemon!”

“I sure do.” Fluttershy was disgusted to hear evil delight in Lemon’s voice. “You mean that, if you were to take this evidence to anyone else, they’d have to declare it circumstantial.”

Twilight growled. “Lemon Hearts, please. This is serious!”

“So am I.”

“The work we’re doing here is an international treasure trove of scientific discoveries and artistic revolution. We have to be on our best behaviour at all times. Can you imagine what it’ll be like if the journalists find out we were having parties in the simulation room? And recklessly endangering hardware worth tens of millions of bits?”

“Yes! It’ll be like the world would see we’re actually ponies with personalities, not your mindless slaves!”

At last, the antagonistic tones were followed by silence. Fluttershy’s skin burned with shame, as though she’d started the whole thing off. Which, by being here and getting Lemon called in, she realized she had.

“I’m sorry you had to see this, Fluttershy,” said Twilight.

Fluttershy looked up. Both of the grown-up unicorns were red of face, though they seemed to be returning to their normal hues. Oddly, though, she had the sense that neither of them were really really worked up. Both had the unfocused looks of unicorns far too used to this shouting match for any genuine engagement.

She mentally added: If these two enter a room at once, leave that room at once. Oh dear. This is more horrible than I imagined, and it’s only my first day…

Checking behind her, she saw Sweetie Belle cowering slightly on the chair. Evidently, the poor thing wasn’t used to such commotion either. She resisted the urge to flap over and give the scared filly a much-needed hug.

“The bottles still there?” said Lemon Hearts less smugly than before. “I could clear them out, if you like.”

“No. I’ve already disposed of them. But let everyone know that if I find a single unicorn smuggling more food and drink into restricted areas, I won’t go easy on them.”

“Point taken, ‘your majesty’. Would you like me to curtsy before I go?”

Twilight’s gaze flickered to Fluttershy. “Just… Just help Fluttershy understand what we’re doing here. No complications, OK?”

Not for the first time in her life, Fluttershy wished she could disappear at will. Such was the squirming discomfiture inside her body that she was beyond looking for a mundane way out, and wishing so, so much that she could simply pop out of reality without a second thought, or even a first one. She still had no idea whether she liked Twilight or not.

“OK?” she breathed.

“Attagirl.” Lemon Hearts smirked at her. “Welcome to the loony bin, Flutterby.”

“Fluttershy…” Her voice succumbed entirely to paranoia; she shut her mouth and refused to open it again.

“Sorry. Fluttershy. I’ll remember your name.”

“Bye, Fluttershy!” shrieked Sweetie Belle, and when Fluttershy turned to look, the young filly was waving so energetically she almost toppled out of her chair.

“Looks like you found a friend, Fluttershy,” said Lemon Hearts cheerfully. “That’s good. Everyone should make a friend on their first day.”

Feeling she was being led down to the execution block, or the nacker’s yard, Fluttershy swallowed and eased the door shut behind her.

The monstrous Lemon Hearts flashed another smirk at her. “First pegasus I’ve seen in this building since I started. You know I was here before the first four unicorns even thought about making the Equiverse project?”

Desperate not to get any barbs in her face too soon, Fluttershy shook her head so fast her mane danced. Whatever her feelings about Twilight, she knew immediately what she felt about this Lemon. Why, the mare even smelled sour…

“Not that Princess Tyrant Spoilsport in there would ever admit it. Come on, then. I’ll give you the grand tour. I’m warning you ahead of time, though; when I call this place the loony bin, I’m not being metaphorical.”

And… it was a record; not even lunchtime yet, and already Fluttershy wanted to gallop home and hide under the bed. Miserably, she followed the prattling unicorn, bracing herself for the inevitable slog of ironic goodwill. That was the worst goodwill of all.

---

Comments

[Dashie04]

Lemon Heart’s a jerk

[RTStephens]

Yikes. And here I thought Trixie would be the one with a mouth. Lemon Hearts (the Queen of Bitter Hearts) eats Trixie's sarcasm for a snack before getting to the main course.

This chapter really put things into a bigger perspective. Fluttershy's interview helps flesh out more of this world and the motivations of the characters. Not sure what Sweetie Belle is doing there, but I suppose we'll find out.

Also, I liked how Fluttershy, for being so passive, can quickly flip and go on a (tepid) tirade when animal shenanigans are brought into question.

Now, if only she can survive a campus full of crazy unicorns...

[Antiquarian]

Poor Flutters

[Emperor]

I'm probably one of the few people who actually thrives on seeing Twilight be a full-gallop social misfit. And oh boy, she's got 'social misfit' in spades here, even if she's not quite as bad as Moondancer is. It's entirely worth it having the scene be from Fluttershy's perspective, because when her internal monologue dares to snark, she delivers it hard. Lemon Hearts...will likely nearly scare Fluttershy away, but I guess we'll have another incident to keep Fluttershy from running off and never coming back.

Sweetie Belle actually may have helped that interview along with her more innocent probing questions as opposed to Twilight's probably disaster of an interview style.