Totally Standard Dimensional Sliding
Night Light simply shudders as Agent Sweetie Drops and the new alicorn recruit, ‘Candy Stripes’, respond almost casually to the newly appeared stallion. The newly appeared alicorn stallion. They’d been surprised by his arrival as well- but it would seem they know him. They’ve taken their glasses, and now all four- pegasus, earth pony, and the two alicorns- are politely waiting for her to take hers. Then, of course, Speedy Thought had behaved as if she had expected him- which, if he is her unfair advantage, would make sense.
She latches onto that, using that anchor to force the rest to make sense in one way or another. It’s faster than arguing with herself or, with her agent mind, simply accepting it. However, it still takes a small eternity.
By the time she finishes and finally accepts her glass, Sweetie Drops and Candy Stripes have broken into a hushed conversation over… Candy flavors? They cut it off when she takes the glass. The other two have just stood, like stone. “To, uh,” she begins, offering her glass to the atmosphere.
“To your achievements, past, present, and future,” the four ponies state together, before they all clink their glasses together and all take a sip.
Wow. That is good stuff. “So, uh,” she mutters, turning towards the stallion. “Would you care to join too?”
“The only medal I’d get is the one for being the heaviest agent,” he mutters, gazing off into space.
“Heaviest…?”
He smiles at her. “I am a veritable mountain of duralloy.”
“You’re a pony.”
At this, he chuckles. “I suppose my avatar would lead you to think that. You see, this body is entirely reliant upon direction from elsewhere.”
“That elsewhere is my town-sized hull under a hill in Ponyville,” Speedy Thought states.
At this point, Night Light can justify her confusion on Sweetie Drops’ and Candy Stripes’ matching confusion. “So, his mind is in your… hull?”
“Eh, more like our mind.” She flutters her eyelids at the electric blue stallion, who completely ignores it.
“Wait, what?” It’s Candy Stripes. “He only made one avatar!”
At this, the stallion chuckles- but Speedy Thought answers.
“Remember what I said when we met yesterday, about how good I am at lying?” she says. “About how I’m better at it than Discord himself?”
“But that neural thing- it’s impossible to keep secrets!”
“Tut tut… Impossible for the biological mind, but not impossible for me. As a matter of fact, the one you helped create is actually my seventh avatar.” She gestures at the electric blue pegasus.
“But-”
“Would you like a sundae?”
Lyra blinks a few times, staring at the chocolate sundae in front of her, held by Zeus’ hoof. “Uh, what?”
Zeus leaves the sundae floating upside-down (and not spilling) in midair and trots around to stand next to Speedy Thought. “It is nice not to have to arrange meetings with empty balconies any more,” he mutters- and the two casually connect forehooves for a second or two. “Especially considering just how quickly the battery dies when underground.”
Night Light watches the entire exchange. “So, would you like to join too, medals aside?”
He shakes his head. “Nah- you’d never see the end of the stealthed drones.”
Bonbon raises an eyebrow, Lyra facehooves. Night Light simply blinks.
Speedy Thought performs a rather casual slow clap. “Ha, Ha,” she utters. “And yes, we’ve confirmed it’s only magical invisibility that you can see through.”
Zeus sighs. “Either way, somepony’s coming, and I’d rather stay under the RIS’ radar- as well as Discord’s, actually.” He then disappears into thin air with a small vwip! noise.
Then somepony knocks on the door.
Speedy Thought glances at the three pegasi in front of her and, with a flying leap, collects all four glasses and the bottle- the sundae had disappeared with Zeus- and disappears behind Night Light’s desk.
After a raised eyebrow, Night Light opens the door. “You… uh, Your Majesty.” She bows. “Did you need something?”
“Yes, actually,” Princess Celestia states, standing in the doorway. “You’re not busy, are you?”
“Just an evaluation, on Sweetie Drops’ recommendation.”
“Ahh. Whenever you’re ready, Discord’s been in irritable lately- and I’d like to know why.”
Night Light nods gently. “We’ve actually already been looking into that,” she states- and taps one of the gemstones on the front of her uniform, looking down towards it. “Hawkeye. It’s time.”
Celestia raises her eyebrow. “Oh? What is it?”
“As near as we can tell, there’s somepony he doesn’t know- and he can’t seem to find out about them. Hawk has been gathering all the intel.”
“Ahh. What about his sister, Speedy Thought?”
“She’s been helping him analyze it. I think she’s closer to predicting Discord than even Starswirl!”
Right at that moment, a dark brown earth pony with a black mane and no cutie mark comes galloping around the corner, his golden sister right behind him, saddlebags filled with papers. They stop short of the princess, bowing together. “Princess Celestia.”
Night Light suppresses an internal sigh. She’d never get used to Speedy Thought’s weird mobility- especially since she’s not related to Pinkie Pie, the only other earth pony ever to be quite so… mobile.
Celestia nods to the agent and the analyst. “Rise. I understand you’ve been looking into Discord’s disturbance?”
“Yes, we have,” Hawk answers.
Speedy Thought starts talking as she pulls out her papers. “There’s a few things. First, there seems to be a new pony running around, primarily about Ponyville, that Discord can’t seem to find. He seems to go by the name of ‘Zeus’, but he’s been avoiding us as well- unless?” She turns briefly to her brother, who shakes his head. She nods. “This Zeus pony is causing Discord a lot of stress in and of himself, but he’s not the only problem.
“Discord himself has reported feeling strange power surges in the area- and patterns similar to Alicorn ascension, what with the cutie un-marking and re-marking, but with the second stage- transformation- swapped out for something else.” She shrugs. “He hasn’t been able to tell what that something else is, nor localize these events; it’s the transformation stage that he can trace so closely.
“In addition to that, the incidence of falling objects in and around Ponyville seems to have gone up rather dramatically. We’re still not sure how many of them reached the sky- nor how the boulder on course to crush the town hall was so suddenly reduced to powder.”
Hawk shudders. “Long day o’ cleaning.”
Speedy nods, continuing. “We do know a little about how Rarity’s couch ended up torn apart and in the sky, thanks to one Agent Sweetie Drops; apparently, it was a magic surge in the boutique. The base section of it nearly landed on Discord; that was only the first, though. A sink supposedly struck off his umbrella last night, and an anvil broke through it this morning.”
Hawk raises a hoof. “Oh- and the teapot five minutes ago.”
“Teapot?”
He nods. “Sorry, I was still on-scene when I got the call. I saw a giant teapot land in the town square, right after Discord teleported elsewhere. Spilled boiling tea everywhere when it broke.”
“How big?”
“Roughly three meters tall and wide, six long; looked like a standard Teasteeper pot, scaled up. It was roughly three quarters full.”
“Teasteeper?” Celestia interrupts alarmedly.
Hawk nods; everypony else watches and listens intently.
Except Speedy. “The teapot on your table when the Lunar Incident began was a Teasteeper, wasn’t it?”
Celestia nods, very slowly. “I’m still not sure what happened.”
Speedy looks at her brother. “And three quarters is how full a regular-sized Teasteeper would be after pouring two cups.”
“Did we just find it?” he responds. “But why did it take so long before it fell out of the sky?”
“That’s a good question. It couldn’t be gravity- in order to achieve a one-week hang time, it would have to be thrown mighty hard- and one of the other celestial bodies, like the moon, would have pulled it away from Equis. Not to mention, reentry would destroy it- and the vacuum of outer space would evacuate all the tea long before it could return.”
Hawk nods. “It did-!” His head turns suddenly. “My hawksense is tingling! I’ll be right back!” He slaps a hoof to his chest- where every agent keeps their teleport crystal when in uniform- and disappears in a flash of light. The uniforms carry invisibility fields when worn outside the base.
Celestia’s eyebrow raises. “Hawksense? That’s a new one.”
“That’s what he calls it,” Speedy answers. “We don’t know what it is yet. He gets some kind of feeling whenever something either is or is about to go down somewhere. He’s described it to me as a kind of tingling on the tip of his nose, but he’s still able to pull exact positional data out of it. She looks in the direction he had looked before he left. “I wonder what he’ll come back with this time,” she utters mildly.
They wait almost two minutes before Hawkeye rounds the corner again, galloping up next to his sister and bowing before he reports. “Princess Sparkle collapsed during a tea party!”
“What kind of pot?” his sister immediately asks.
“A Teasteeper.”
“Knew it.” She looks up at the Princess. “Something malevolent is somehow pattern-matching against those pots.”
“Is Twilight okay?” Princess Celestia asks, alarmed.
“Probably,” he answers. “Pinkie showed up to teleport her away. Said Zeus would help her.”
“Ahh.”
Night Light nods understandingly- but stops suddenly. “Wait, Pinkie?”
Speedy nods. “Yes.”
“Teleport?”
“Yes.”
“Isn’t she an earth pony?”
“No.”
“What?”
“Unicorn. Apparently, Zeus healed her misshapen ingrown horn last night.”
Celestia swoons.
“When did you learn to teleport?” Rarity asks her newly-minted unicorn friend.
“When Zeus did his totally-standard-dimensional-sliding thing with my headset.”
The room they’re standing in clears its throat while the lid slides shut over their purple friend. “That’s, uh, not what TSDS stands for… Yep, it’s definitely the teapot.”
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OMNI:Ha!Jokes on you I'm an American I dump tea and drink coffee.☕
Doesn’t celesta know Zeus
8795652
I'm an American too.... and I agree with Harrington.
8795680
Yes, she does. She doesn't know Speedy Thought, though.
It does remind me of the stoves. Wonder who's behind the teapots?
I am pretty sure that it cleared up most of the confusion. Funny that he has that many avatars, though.
I am surprised that Celestia was not expecting Pinkiecorn. That seems obvious to me, or at least considering WHO it is, shouldn't be that surprising. :D
Expect the unexpected!!
Sure, but what about the invasion?