I'm not sure how explicit you intend to make this (or have already made it) but you probably don't need the Sex tag. The Mature tag alone allows for roughly the same level of content as the Teen and Sex tags together. This means you can have innuendo, references to (but not descriptions of) sexual acts, and talk about genitals outside of sexual contexts.
I didn't have what a male would have between their legs,
he wouldn't see it be cause all reptiles have a cloacae meaning they only have one whole to do there businesses with meaning he would have to stick a claw in their to identify his/her gender sorry just needed to get that our of my system
Lol i was waiting for someone to catch that. Because I knew that myself. But i wanted to see if someone would catch it. More like if people are on their toes. But of course this character wouldn't know this. Since their writing a journal telling the accounts of what happen to them. They would have put in a few mistakes.
Call me a dick if you like, but lay for describing the action of one lying down is past tense, not present.
You misused it twice in the very beginning of the chapter. Normally I don't comment on it, but "here I lay" masquerading as present tense makes my head hurt a little.
Lie is the present tense. You are lying down, here you lie, etc.
Lay in the present tense means setting something else down or producing an egg. You are laying down a book, etc.
8888885 And yes, despite the story itself being in past tense at that point, both times you used lay were in a way that called for present tense.
"I was ---ing" the --- is the present tense version of the word. For example "I was standing" rather than "I was stooding."
The second usage is mostly because you started out with "here" , which is honestly kind of confusing when you're using the past tense in general. I thought you would use it to tense shift into the present tense for the rest of the story, but now I've read ahead and I'm just confused.
This may be considered too nitpicky. I don't know.
Welcome to my story. I hope you all have a fun time reading. Also please be respectful thank you.
I shall give it a look-see when I go on my lunch break
8552332
Of course I do hope you enjoy the story.
I'm not sure how explicit you intend to make this (or have already made it) but you probably don't need the Sex tag. The Mature tag alone allows for roughly the same level of content as the Teen and Sex tags together. This means you can have innuendo, references to (but not descriptions of) sexual acts, and talk about genitals outside of sexual contexts.
8552369
Alright of course but for now i will keep it. Because again deep subjects later in the story.
Dragon!
8552390
DURGIN!!
So, we have a TGed dragon and a Lyra. What can possibly go wrong?
8552393
er mur gurd durgon
8552540
Let the DURGIN FLY!! Anyway hope you enjoy the story.
8553346
i did
after rereading this I noticed a SCIENTIFICE FLAW
he wouldn't see it be cause all reptiles have a cloacae meaning they only have one whole to do there businesses with meaning he would have to stick a claw in their to identify his/her gender sorry just needed to get that our of my system
8650821
Lol i was waiting for someone to catch that. Because I knew that myself. But i wanted to see if someone would catch it. More like if people are on their toes. But of course this character wouldn't know this. Since their writing a journal telling the accounts of what happen to them. They would have put in a few mistakes.
Call me a dick if you like, but lay for describing the action of one lying down is past tense, not present.
You misused it twice in the very beginning of the chapter. Normally I don't comment on it, but "here I lay" masquerading as present tense makes my head hurt a little.
Lie is the present tense. You are lying down, here you lie, etc.
Lay in the present tense means setting something else down or producing an egg. You are laying down a book, etc.
8888885
Thank you my editor kept that on purpose to see how many people are reading instead of just skimming.
8888885
Also no I won't call ya a dick. I am not some child that will get upset over nothing. Now since my editors test is done. I will fix it.
8888885
And yes, despite the story itself being in past tense at that point, both times you used lay were in a way that called for present tense.
"I was ---ing" the --- is the present tense version of the word. For example "I was standing" rather than "I was stooding."
The second usage is mostly because you started out with "here" , which is honestly kind of confusing when you're using the past tense in general. I thought you would use it to tense shift into the present tense for the rest of the story, but now I've read ahead and I'm just confused.
This may be considered too nitpicky. I don't know.