My Little Cartman

by Moon Flame

Chapter 2. Cartman Makes Fluttershy Cry

Twilights horn gave a shimmering light. The silverware went floating over the table and landed in front of her new friendship student Human. Twilight saw Human look around the big dining hall with its huge banderoles and towering crystal walls. Twilight agreed on Humans overwhelmed look, this dinner hall was way too big. Despite her being proud of her castle Twilight still preferred her old comfy oak tree library as homestead.

“I know it must be a lot for you to take in, being a Cartman berry and all. I must be honest with you, I've never seen a berry grow from the Tree of Harmony, let alone a berry that walks around. Tell me, are there any more Cartman berries in Equestria?”

Twilight was sure that Human would reveal his friendship problem once she managed to get him to open up about his family or friends.

Cartman heard Twilight call him Human as if that was his Christian name while Cartman was his race name, or a berry blossom if you asked Twilame. Cartman felt his muscles hang. All this was simply to incredulously stupid that he just didn’t had the stamina to bother. It was easier to just go along with it. Who knows, maybe he would even be able to get a laugh out of this later.

“Oh, yes, us Cartman berries blossoms here and there. We barely see each other though since we’re kind of dicks.” Cartman immediately regretted his words. He felt his arm burn again. Twilight giggled.

“Now, there's no need to make those kinds of references young colt. Is it OK if I call you colt? That's what us ponies call our boys, that’s all.”

“Oh no, that's fine.” Cartman reassured. At this point Twilight could have called him dandelion leaf and he would have still gone along with it.

Twilight studied Human. She watched his big eyes wail around the room. He still seemed a bit overwhelmed to her. She wondered how usual it was for berries to simply fall of a tree and walk away. Maybe Cartman berries only grew from the Tree of Harmony once in a hundred or so moons or so. But where did that put her?

“Do you have any friends or family where you come from?” Twilight asked.

“Oh yea. I have a few. One of them is a...” Cartman hesitated. He was going to say ‘One of them is an asshole, one is a Jew and the last one is a poor kid.’ He felt his words jam though, once Demandoras green eyes suddenly glared at him in his mind. He felt his arm burn again by her pinching fingers. Cartman gulped. He continued answering the princess in a nervous tone.

“One of them is named Stan, the other is named Kyle and the last one is named Kenny.” Cartman paused. He then ended in a hurry. “...I am their humble friend.”

Twilight looked at her student. Her mouth was formed somewhere between a smile and a bewildered grin.

“Humble?” Twilight asked.

“Yes. I am.” Cartman hesitated before stating. “I am your humble student.”

There was a moment of silence. Twilight wasn’t sure if this ‘humble’ talk was all about. Was it part of who he was or was it a proposal?

“Why humble?” Twilight asked.

Cartman opened his mouth, but no words came out. In his head he could hear his teacher, Twilight Sparkle, explain to him firmly the nature of un-humble demeanors. But now she was asking him, like he would actually know anything himself.

“I...I...” Cartman stammered. “I need to embrace true humbleness to be able to believe in myself and learn.”

Twilight laughed. She waved her right hoof about.

“Human, being humble and believing in yourself are two different things. You saw Rainbow Dash up there. Granted, she isn’t that patient and therefore not much of a theoretical learner, but she undoubtedly has good self-confidence and learn things practically. She can be humble to if she needs to, but mostly she’s a pony with spirit and confidence.” Twilight’s face lit up. “You know what, that's not such a bad idea! Why not just have you meet all of my friends? You could learn from them while I take notes!” Twilights proposed happily.

It would be one tragic fate to be forced to hang out with these ponies, but to have it all written down on paper for all to read? Cartman felt like crawling down underneath Twilights dining table.

---

“As I said, I have no idea what table your clammy friend may have crawled himself under!” Demandora said firmly. Kyle, Kenny and Stan looked at each other.

“Are you sure? We know he went here before he disappeared.” Kyle stated. Demandoras green eyes squinted.

“Is that an accusation?” She asked darkly.

“No ma’am. We’re just worried.” Stan answered.

“Can you at least tell us if you saw him leave the school?” Kyle asked.

Demandora picked up some documents and appeared to be reading them.

“He is trouble that friend of yours, doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut.”

The silence laid itself inside the office. The only thing that could be heard was the papers that Demandora was reading. Her face was now completely buried in them.

“I saw him fall down the library stairs. I ran to see if he was OK, but when I looked down from them the boy was gone.”

Stan, Kyle and Kenny looked at each other in bewilderment.

“Gone? What do you mean gone?” Kyle asked.

“Well, it only took me five seconds to reach the stairs. Do you mean to tell me that chubby friend of yours would have been able to fall down from them, pull himself up again and sprint out of the front door several meters away without me catching sight of his clumsy butt?”

Stan couldn't say that he liked this character. But he couldn’t lie to himself either.

“Well, not many do.” He agreed with a frowned face.

“But what do you think happened to him?” Kyle asked.

Demandoras silence were as thick as the wooden furniture's inside her office. She lowered the documents.

“Well, I can't possibly know that for certain now, can I? But if I were to guess, you are probably gonna have to leave this world to see him again.” Demandoras green eyes almost appeared to be shining. She buried her face in the documents again.

“Another world?” Stan asked.

“Hurm, hurm?” Kenny asked.

“What other world?” Kyle asked

Demandora kept her face hidden behind the documents she held.

“Demandora?” Stan asked.

“You better leave.” Demandora said.

“But we need your help.” Kyle wailed.

“Leave now.” Demandora demanded.

“No. We won't leave until we know what happened to our friend!” Kyle exclaimed.

The light from the window flowed over the right side of Demandora. The light threw her shadow on the left wall. Slowly a new shape seemed to appear at the top of her head, out of eye sight due to the documents in front of her face. The shape rose with its edge sharp. There was a sparkling sound.

“I told you to leave.” Demandora said.

Stan, Kyle and Kenny felt themselves slide against the floor.

“Oaaaaaaah!” They all screamed when they were suddenly dragged out of the room by an invisible force. The door slammed shut behind them.

“What was that?!” Kyle exclaimed.

“How the hell did she do that?!” Stan wailed.

“Hurumum!” Kenny blasted.

“I don’t know. But I have a feeling that we need to find out if we’re ever gonna se our friend again.” Kyle said.

---

The door to the cottage opened, answering Twilights previous knockings. The yellow Pegasus pony named Fluttershy stood with a yellow welcoming face like sunlight in the morning. Her house laid just outside the forest and the yard was riddled with the sprinting of small rodents and jumping of rabbits.

“Well hello Twilight.” Fluttershy greeted.

“Hello Fluttershy. Are you doing anything special?” Twilights face of excitement sparkled as fiercely as her sharp horn, which were having a parchment and quill magically hovering over her head.

“Actually, I was...” Fluttershy paused as she caught sight of Cartman standing behind Twilight. Fluttershy leaned her head sideways to look at him. “Is that your new student?”

“Yes. In fact, that’s exactly what I wanted to talk to you about Fluttershy. I was wondering if you could show Human here what you do around here.”

“Sure. I was just going to have a rehearsal with the bird choir anyway.”

Fluttershys voice was kind and sweet. It infused the already mellow sight of green leaves, pretty flowers and happy animals with even more cutesy. Cartman wanted to pull down his pants and have Twilight and Fluttershy watch as he unloaded a big dump on the gravel path here and now. Twilight turned to Cartman.

“Human, meet Fluttershy. She is the animal expert of Ponyville and the element of kindness.”

Fluttershy smiled modestly. She curved her backside and showed of her cutie mark, which consisted of three lightly violet butterflies mixing perfectly with her mane, which hanged down the side of her head with a slight curve, just like Cartmans hamburger filled stomach hanged down from below his shirt with a slight curve.

Cartman followed Fluttershy, passing a slight curve further away from her cottage. Fluttershy used her Pegasus wings to hover in front of a tree. One of the protruding twigs carried a bird choir that had lined themselves up. Fluttershy looked at them and raised her hooves. The birds raised their beaks. Fluttershy lowered her hooves and started conducting.

For so long I have wondered... Cartman thought

The twitter of the bird choir formed a natural harmony in the rhythm of which the Pegasus pony provided. Small birds started to fly in circles around Cartman, his blank stare of disbelief blurring somewhere behind them.

...Yes indeed, for so long I have wondered what it truly means to be gay. But now, alas, the answer has been unveiled, this feeling inside that I never knew I had.

More birds joined in. Butterflies started flying underneath Cartman. He felt himself rise into the air. He was hovering with his chubby arms raised whilst the Pegasus pony herself started to sing a marry tune.

“Wa waaaa wa waaaaa.... Wa waaaa wa waaaaa.”

And so, finally I have found it. All this time I told myself that I knew the rules of that cause, of which I still do not know. But I cannot deny the soaring sensation, that blurry vision, that path of which I thought only a few chosen ones would take.

Now animals on the ground join in as well in the singing. Indeed, Fluttershy was a well-respected creature among the animal population surrounding Ponyville. Her beautiful voice filled the air beside the birds. Twilight was standing on the sideline and writing in her parchment. The wind intensified as mother nature herself seemed to have joined in on their merry tune. Cartman felt merry alright.

I always knew it would find its way into my hollow bones one day. Will I ever be the same again? Only time will tell. May the devil and the fags have mercy upon my soul.

After the initiation process was done Cartman was invited into Fluttershys house. Twilight turned to Fluttershy.

“I’ll leave you two for a while, I have to check of a session with the school fillies.”

“Sure Twilight, I’ll let you know how things went later.” Fluttershy replied. They both nodded at each other before Twilight trotted out of the house. Cartman looked around. The walls were as wooden as you’d expect when living inside a house that literarily had a tree crown as a roof. Cartmans blank voice stated what he saw.

“There is a squirrel in the kitchen.”

“Oh, look. He just wants a taste.” Fluttershy awed while watching the cute animal looking at her with begging eyes. “But you will have to wait, you know dinner will be served for everyone later.”

“You know they’re just gonna come back again if you keep bringing them food.” Cartman pointed out. Fluttershy lit up.

“Oh, come back. I wouldn’t wish for anything else!”

Cartman turned his blank face.

“There is a parrot on the table.”

“Well, hello there. Where have your friends gone now, little one?” Fluttershy greeted the bird.

“Little one.” The parrot mimicked.

Gone to the jungle maybe?! Cartman almost blasted. He looked toward the couch.

“There is a bear in the living room.”

“Hello Harry, do you want a massage?” Fluttershy asked.

“Seriously? He’s a bear, he will tear you to pieces.” Cartman said.

“Oh no, not Harry. Harry is harmless. With a little kindness one can make friends with any animal, and me and Harry have been friends for a long time, haven’t we Harry?”

Harry answered Fluttershys kindness with a smile. He demonstrated his harmlessness with the softness of his eyes, having them gain a dark core once he turned them to Cartman, as if to say. Right you are human - if you even think about harming Fluttershy.

Cartman gulped.

“See Human? Sometimes, all you need is a little kindness.” Fluttershy used her wings to hover behind the bear. She pressed her hooves against his back. The bear looked down at Cartman and smiled, as if to answer. That’s right Human, taste the kindness now mother-fucker or you’ll get a taste of something else.

“Yes. I’ll be kind.” Cartman replied nervously.

“That’s the spirit.” Fluttershy complimented Cartman. There was a stomping sound coming from the kitchen. A white rabbit looked irritatingly at Fluttershy while stomping his foot on the counter.

“What is it Angel Bunny?”

The rabbit folded his arms.

“I know you’re hungry Angel Bunny. I’ll make some dinner right away.”

“Angel Bunny?” Cartman asked.

“Yes. He’s my pet rabbit.” Fluttershy replied. Cartman studied the small patch of white fur on the counter. Cartman could already imagine showing Angel Bunny up where the sun doesn’t shine.

“He’s your pet?” Cartman looked bewildered around the decorated zoo attraction. “Then what are these other animals?”

“They?” Fluttershy looked bewildered at Cartman. “Well…” She hesitated. “They are my animals to.”

“But Angel Bunny is your pet?”

Fluttershy looked at Angel Bunny, who looked at her with expecting eyes.

“Yes, he is.” She answered.

“Really? What makes him so special?” Cartman asked.

“Uh…” Fluttershys voice dwindled. She hadn’t thought about this. “…Well, the thing is…” Fluttershy looked around the cottage. The other animals looked at her like they expected an answer. Fluttershy felt her heart soar as the answer reached her tongue.

“…They are all special to me.”

“But Angel Bunny is your pet.” Cartman said.

“All of them are my pets.”

Cartman looked down at the rabbit again, who looked at him with confused eyes. “But I just asked you ‘Angel Bunny?’ and you stated clearly, ‘Yes, he is my pet rabbit.’ you said.”

Fluttershy felt her soaring heart go for a spinning dive toward the ground, about to crash land. The silence laid itself inside the cottage.

“He is special, but…” She hesitated.

“But what?”

“But I love all my animals.” Fluttershys voice had started to sway.

“But you love Angel Bunny more.”

Fluttershy felt all the animals looking at her at once. Her heart touch downed.

“No! I mean yes…I…I” Her blue eyes filled with tears. “I mean…I don’t know.”

There was a shadow closing in over Cartman. He barely had time to get scared before Harrys glaring eyes were only centimeters in front of him. His warm breath sipped out between his growling teeth.

“Or I guess it’s no big deal.” Cartman said rapidly.

“Yes, it is! I feel awful!” Fluttershy sobbed.

The bear head-motioned the Pegasus pony while glaring at Cartman. Cartman imagined Harrys giant paw against his face.

“No, really. It’s no big deal, all your animals are special.”

But Fluttershy didn’t hear him. Her hooves crumbled to the ground while she exploded into uncontrollable crying. Harry moved slightly to the right, placing himself between Cartman and the door. He head-motioned the crying Pegasus pony again.

“No, really. Its fine Fluttershy. You love all your animals!” Cartman exclaimed.

But Fluttershy was to deep inside her own bubble to hear what Cartman said. The bear made growling sounds. Cartman knew what he needed to do. He felt himself move miles away of his comfort zone as he walked up to the Pegasus pony, got down on his knees and put his arms around her mane.

“There, there. It’s all right. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry for?!” Fluttershy sobbed.

Cartman opened his mouth, but his words delayed. Inside his own eyes he could see something, an unknown speck of land in the middle if an ocean of Mountain Dew. The island had a green tree and a colony of happy rabbits. Cartman felt the peace flushing over him as he imagined himself laying on this island, feeling the tall grass embrace him, the sound of the wind rustling the tree. Cartman flinched. He felt an odd ball forming inside his stomach…

What a beautiful feeling this was, thinking about all the money that he would make after building a tourist resort on this island. He could just lay here on the beach, waiting for the money to flow in while having a glass in his hand and scoop up an unlimited supply of Mountain Dew. But until then, all that this were, was a peaceful island in the middle of an ocean made out of Mountain Dew.

Was this what if felt like to actually give a crap? Would Cartman ever be the same again after this? He decided to compromise. He said about himself what he would have said about others.

“I’m sorry for being a fat and cynical piece of shit.”

Fluttershy didn’t understand. She kept crying. Cartman heard Harrys growling behind him.

“What I meant to say was that it doesn’t matter what you call Angel Bunny. You love all your animals and they love you equally.”

Fluttershys sobbing halted.

“Really?”

“Really. They all love you equally and you love them equally, no matter what you call them.”

Fluttershy snorted. Her crying stopped. She raised her teary eyes and looked straight at Cartman. A smile formed on her face.

“Thank you, Human.”

“Eric.” Eric corrected.

Fluttershy smiled silently at Cartman. She snorted until she was able to raise her hoof and wipe away the last tears. Cartman continued.

“My name is Eric Cartman. Human is my race name.”

“Oh,” Fluttershy giggled. “Twilight must have gotten really carried away to mix that up.”

Eric remembered when he confirmed wrongly to Twilight that he was a berry.

“You know what Fluttershy? Don’t tell her yet, let me handle it later.”

Fluttershy looked bewildered at Eric Cartman. Even though she hadn’t meet any more of his kind she felt that there was something special about this Human. But either that was good thing or bad thing, one thing was defeatedly certain. Right now, that special thing had just taught her a friendship lesson.

“Of course, I will wait for you. Thank you, Eric.”

“You’re welcome.”

Eric hoped that no one in South Park heard about this, or else he might need to…

“And please don’t let any of my friends know about this.” Eric added.

“Why not?” Fluttershy asked.

Eric imagined a poster of him and Fluttershy glued onto his locker in the South Park elementary school.

“Because if you do…” Eric paused, then ended quickly.

“…I might need to come back here and take a crap on your doorstep.”

Fluttershy stared blankly at Eric Cartman. Her mouth slowly raised before she busted out in giggly laughter.

Comments

[R-Bot]

“ Oh, yes, us Cartman berries blossoms here and there. We barely see each other though since we ’ re kind of dicks. ” Cartman immediately regretted his words.

Oh he just made Twilight a dumbass

Slowly a new shape seemed to appear at the top of her head, out of eye sight due to the documents in front of her face. The shape rose with its edge sharp.

Chrysalis, how she got to South Park world

“ He ’ s your pet? ” Cartman looked bewildered around the decorated zoo attraction. “ Then what are these other animals? ”

......huh never realized it

“… I might need to come back here and take a crap on your doorstep. ”

Really Eric

[Moon Flame]

8582744
Remember the South Park episode when Eric took a crap on Mr Garrisons desk to get detention?

[Dark Nightshade]

Well, this was funny.

[Falconwolf1116]

8605523
“Eric did you just take a crap on my desk?”

(Cartman Crosses his arms to look cool.)

“What’s up? What’s up dog? Just took a crap on your desk, what’s up with that?

[Acadians6545]

9683834
I also remember Wendy fracturing his teeth.

[IneptusMechanicus]

Ahhhh. Demandora done some kinda pony-devil-magic on Cartman to scare him into obediance.
Still don't get why he hasn't tried to feed her her parents yet.