Twilight Sparkle is called by the cutie map to solve a friendship problem. Eric Cartman has a problem, that being Eric Cartman. But Cartman doesn’t let Twilight know how incredulously stupid all this is. No, he decides to play it along and see how far the lameness can go.

The further it goes though the closer the blank stare of the meat mountain comes to cracking. 

Will the homosexuals finally get to him via the Rainbow Dash conspiracy?

Will the entire South Park Elementary school know that he took part in a ditty girl party, hosted by a pink pony?

Will his friends find out eventually that he was offered a Grand Galloping Dress, hoof sewed by a white unicorn?

Meanwhile Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski and Kenny McCormick are looking for their friend, of whom disappeared after crumbling his fat ass down the library stairs and entered another world like some Narnia bullshit.

Will they manage to find Eric Cartman before Randy Marsh gets to do the voice over for Twilight Sparkle? Only time will tell, or a cow princess with sights of destroying Equestria, a milk cow whose milk are so bad that it causes princess Celestia to projectile vomit into princess Luna's mouth?

Contains: (In true South Park spirit) Swearing, sex jokes, gross out jokes, jokes about sexual orientations and the prejudices surrounding them.