I get displaced as vegito from Dragon ball Z/Super/Absalon by a merchant now I protect the mane six and the princesses from any threat at the same time preventing some bad stuff from happening
You have to decide if this story is going to be first person, or third person, point of view. Don't keep jumping between them. It ruins the structure of the story.
Chris arrived at the castle of the two sisters he thought "That was close might have said too much " he gave a sigh of relief then he felt something from his pocket so he tooked it out and it was a bag that contain a list -it said you have immortality, immunity to magic and you have mastered the light,dark side of the force
You know. All things that vegito never had. The Mary Sue is strong with this one.
Damn... Just damn
KO just curious, is there gonna be any sex scene in this story?
8475234
Maybe later in the story
Just keep trying l hope you doing better .
a combination of coco sunny master jirou toriko and zebra in 1 vile...the universe is fucked
ps: thanks for reminder alternate dawn
uh realy op much!
I got lost half way through this get a spell checker!
You have to decide if this story is going to be first person, or third person, point of view.
Don't keep jumping between them. It ruins the structure of the story.
8489172
Thanks for the advice
Maybe this can help a bit:
https://writingcommons.org/chapters/style/sentence-structure
You know. All things that vegito never had.
The Mary Sue is strong with this one.
8495283
Force sensitive
Is this story based on.... I forgot the name but the guy's main character is displaced King Toriko with nearly all the powers you have now?
OP STU!!!!!!!!!!
me likey~!
I imagine super saiyan 7 would look like super saiyan 4 with ssj 3 hair
Now make it blue! And kioken the guy time 20 = f you zenos!
Have you looked into getting grammarly as an add on it can be a life savor
8497730
Do you mean don't get cocky?
This has probably already been said but the constant switching from first person to third person is confusing