Hit // Run
I was starting to think I’d done something wrong.
Trying to burn down Sweet Apple Acres was supposed to be cathartic, but ultimately it didn’t do anything for me. It didn’t advance my goals in any way, and it didn’t even look like I’d gotten most of the farm besides. Not to mention that my little stunt risked damaging Applejack’s body, which could have been bad news. If she died, her soul’s connection to the physical world would be severed, and I’d no longer be able to keep her inside of me. Thankfully, nothing like that seemed to happen, and the fire was put out quickly thanks to the response of Ponyville’s weather team. Of course, that also meant the general population was also much more likely to know that something’s up.
Ugh, I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I thought that acting on my impulse would help me feel better, but instead it’s doing nothing for me. I don’t feel more satisfied, all I feel is the increasing sense that I’m just one misstep away from losing everything. And I’d nearly allowed myself to be either killed or critically injured twice, just because I was more focused on tormenting Twilight’s friends than actually stealing their souls. Was I being irrational?
No, I... I can’t be irrational. I’m a magical prodigy, the greatest unicorn since Star Swirl himself. I’m just doing what I need to in order to get back at Celestia and Twilight. Stealing their souls isn’t enough, I want to make them hurt. I... I’m just doing what I need to do to accomplish that.
But maybe this does call for a change in tactics. I’ll save the toying for Celestia and her little teacher’s pet. I need to move quickly now, so I’ll just hit Twilight’s remaining friends and move on. I won’t be able to steal their souls without subduing them first, but with my power that shouldn’t be a problem at all.
Move quickly, hit hard. That’s the plan. Wandering back on the road through town might look a bit suspicious after a fire just suddenly appeared in the direction I was coming from. I already had to hide in a bush a few times to avoid being spotted by the weather team. So if I wanted to move quickly without being noticed, I had to teleport.
Teleporting long-distance is always risky, of course, but I’d memorized enough of the town layout to do it. I was careful to take in the minute details of every single home or building I’d visited during the past week, so I could even teleport directly to a place where I’d find one of Twilight’s friends. Hopefully I wouldn’t teleport directly into one of Twilight’s friends, but that was exceedingly unlikely.
The only question was who to hit next. I quickly ruled out Pinkie Pie, as I really didn’t know how I could possibly catch her off guard. If anything, she’d be the one catching me off-guard with something unexpected. Thinking about it further, it was probably a good idea for me to go after her last, at least before getting Celestia and Twilight. That way I’d have more power so I could deal with her.
Rarity it is, then, I thought, my horn already enveloped in a surge of light. The thing next I knew I was standing right in the middle of the Carousel Boutique, judging by the elaborate ponnequins with dozens of gaudy gems on their clothes. Rarity didn’t seem to be present at the moment. Most likely she was in her workroom, putting together yet another of her dresses.
Of course, her business being her entire life’s pride and joy, she wouldn’t have made it far if she didn’t know when to service a potential customer. Just like her human counterpart, she always somehow knew when someone had arrived. Right on cue, her voice called from upstairs.
“Coming!”
A gentle trotting of hooves signaled Rarity’s arrival. Her eyes brightened as her muzzle split into a sickeningly cheerful smile. Good. That meant she still didn’t suspect anything.
“Oh, hello Sunset! What brings you here today?”
Almost immediately, Rarity’s eyes went wide. By that point, my horn was already igniting as I prepared to cast my next spell.
Unfortunately, I yet again managed to underestimate just how much of a fight my target would put up. Just as I launched a concussive bolt from my horn, Rarity yanked a diamond from a nearby ponnequin’s dress, holding it just in front of her with her telekinetic grip. My blast immediately rebounded off of the gemstone, reflecting at a low angle and striking me right in the center of my chest. My breath forcibly evacuated from my lungs as I was sent tumbling backwards and sprawling onto the ground.
...Dammit, of course she had to be the one to use the environment to her advantage. There must be some force of cosmic irony that’s laughing at me right now.
As I slowly picked myself onto my hooves, I could get a closer look at the absolutely furious expression on Rarity’s face. Her impossibly beautiful appearance was somehow tarred by her own emotional state, and I could suddenly see the individual wrinkles and blemishes written across her features, as well as... hold on, are those fangs? I could have sworn she had fangs one moment, only to lose them as soon as I even blinked. Did I just imagine that?
“WHAT. IS. THE MEANING OF THIS!?”
I closed my eyes briefly and sighed. “No sense hiding it now,” I said. My brow narrowed fiercely as I locked eyes with my prey. “Alright you wannabe debutante, here’s the deal. Right now, you have your soul and I don’t. I’m here to rectify that.”
Rarity’s eyes went as wide as dinner plates. Her mouth worked silently, as though she was struggling to process what I’d told her. Her eyes quivered slightly, and I could already see her makeup beginning to run.
“It was you,” she said. Her voice started as a whisper, but almost immediately grew to a full shout, wavering heavily as she struggled to hold back her sobs. “You did this! You’re the one responsible for everything! I... I can’t believe you’d betray our trust like this! How could you!?”
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “Oh, spare me the drama queen act. I’ve already taken the souls of nearly all your little friends, and most of them are either ten times as athletic or a hundred times as powerful as you. So why don’t you be a good little miss prissy-pants and give yourself up? It’ll save you a lot of trouble.”
I wasn’t entirely sure whether to be surprised when Rarity did cut the melodramatics. Her human counterpart did seem like a living mood swing at times. The blemishes and wrinkles on her face almost seemed to vanish as she narrowed her eyes at me.
“I don’t think you’re in any right to be boasting about your superiority, given that you just blasted yourself with your own spell.”
“A simple mistake,” I countered. “And I don’t make the same mistake twice.”
As soon as I finished my sentence, I shot another concussive bolt from my horn. Rarity once again moved to intercept with her gemstone, but this time I was prepared. Just as the bolt reflected off the gemstone, I rapidly grabbed another diamond from the same ponnequin’s dress, and moved it in the path of the attack. The bolt reflected a second time, back towards my intended target, and Rarity matched her movements with mine. The bolt reflected a third time, back towards me.
For longer than I could bother trying to keep track of, it continued like this. Given my vastly superior power, I expected that Rarity would eventually slip up and be hit by my attack. To my utter astonishment, however, she not only kept up with every rebound of my spell, but soon began to outpace me. With every iteration, my telekinetic movements grew sloppier and harder to control, despite my best efforts.
It suddenly began to dawn on me that, while her raw strength was pathetic, Rarity’s precision with magic was virtually unmatched. In all my life I don’t think I’ve ever seen a unicorn use telekinesis so smoothly and effortlessly. And as luck would have it, that in turn meant I’d picked exactly the wrong way to deal with her.
That realization struck me not one second before my own concussive bolt followed. This time it his me right between my eyes, and my entire world was subsequently launched skywards. I was certain that I’d done several backflips in the air by the time I’d landed, and the excruciating headache I had when I stood to my hooves didn’t help matters any.
As the pain faded away and my vision came back into focus, I could see Rarity facing me with the most obnoxiously haughty grin I’d ever seen. “I believe that makes the score thirty-love,” she quipped.
My jaw clenched so hard that I could practically hear my teeth grinding. Every time, every time I tried to take the soul of one of Twilight’s friends, they’d find some way to humiliate me in the process. It was beyond aggravating. It was infuriating. And I’d had enough.
What happened next had happened so quickly that I barely even realized what I was doing. My mind was enveloped in a haze of rage as a deep, primal bellow escaped my throat. My head lowered, the tip of my horn brandished like a dagger, and I charged forward with reckless abandon.
It wasn’t until I heard the scream of pain that I snapped back to reality. I pulled myself backwards, feeling something slick and lumpy against my horn, and watched in horror as Rarity’s body slumped to the ground. My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach as I saw the deep, gaping wound right in the center of her.
“Oh... Oh, no.” My voice quivered slightly as panic began to creep into its edges. “No, no, no! This wasn’t supposed to happen! I wasn’t supposed to kill her! I can’t take her soul if she’s dead!”
My breath grew quick and shallow as I began to comprehend the many ways in which I’d potentially screwed myself. Calm down, Sunset, I reminded myself. It’s not the end of the world. You can still get the others. Just take a deep breath.
As my breath steadied, I could feel my body’s shaking begin to calm itself. First things first, I had to make sure this wouldn’t catch up to me later. A simple spell, and the disgusting splatter of blood was completely scrubbed from my horn. Now, I just had to figure out what to do next. My eyes darted about the room as I looked for a way I could hide the body.
“Nnnnnngghhh.”
My head swiveled so fast it nearly gave itself whiplash, and I turned to see Rarity slowly standing to her hooves, apparently completely unfazed by the small detail of the massive, gaping wound in her chest. A wound that, assuming I wasn’t seeing things, was getting smaller by the second.
Almost immediately, my jaw dropped. “W-what? How? How are you still standing? No other pony would survive that kind of injury!”
A desperate, hacking cough escaped her throat. Somehow, despite her still-ragged appearance, she managed to give me another smug grin. “Well, I wouldn’t be much of a Rarity if I were like other ponies, would I?”
As soon as I heard that line, I could feel my right eye twitching slightly. Hundreds of ideas of how to respond to that flashed through my mind, and nearly all of them were violent. Ultimately though, I decided to go with the more sensible option.
“You know what?” I said. “Fine. If I can’t beat you by breaking your body, I’ll just have to go after your mind.”
Rarity blinked rapidly. “Wha—”
Whatever her thoughts were, she didn’t get to elaborate on them further. My horn pulsed with power, as I channeled the same spell that I’d used on Canterlot High’s students, on that fateful day of the Fall Formal. With her stamina thoroughly exhausted by our scuffle, and her magic too weak to prepare a counterspell, her mind fell like a house of cards. Her eyes glazed over as she stood silently, her expression utterly vacant.
My lips curved upwards into a grin. “Excellent,” I said. “Now, let’s see about that soul of yours...”
Another pulse from my horn, and I began the process of absorbing Rarity’s soul. There was a truly impressive amount of resistance to the extraction, and on the edges of my magical sense I could just barely make out the presence of black magic tethered to her soul.
Was... was Rarity undead? No, that couldn’t be right.
A grunt of exertion escaped as the last smidgen of resistance gave away, and her soul escaped through her mouth, spiraling inwards into my horn. It definitely looked different from the other souls, less of a white and wispy presence than a grey and oily mass. It looked almost greasy, if that was even possible.
Either way, I decided it wasn’t my concern. When she landed within my mindscape, I could still feel her struggles, which meant that her soul was still tethered to her body. Good. That meant my work was done.
Just as I turned to walk away, a sudden flash of pain erupted within my head. A groan escaped my lips, as I immediately knew what I was in for.
“Here we go again...”
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”Ow! Careful with those pins!”
Sunset’s complaint didn’t seem to register, as Rarity continued her work. Sunset stood atop a small, raised pedestal specially built for modeling, holding her arms to her sides as Rarity carefully took the measurements. Measurements which, much to Sunset’s dismay, involved a lot of pins.
“This wouldn’t be an issue if you held still, darling,” Rarity countered. Despite the two remaining straight pins precariously held in her mouth, she managed to speak with perfect clarity. “And you wouldn’t even need tailoring if you hadn’t ordered your dress online. You know they never get the sizes right.”
Sunset’s gaze briefly drew downwards, to the new dress. It was a simple white strapless evening gown with, nothing overly extravagant, yet classy enough to be suitable for the higher-end clubs in Canterlot City. And while her fake ID had proven reliable enough to sneak into plenty of dive bars, she’d always failed to meet the dress codes of fancier establishments.
“Well, excuse me for not being familiar with your world’s bizarro future technology,” Sunset countered. “Ow! Hey, watch it!”
“Oh, hush. I’m nearly finished,” said Rarity. She carefully placed another pin in Sunset’s dress. “There! That should be it. Just give me until the end of the week, and I’ll have your gown all fixed up.” With a broad grin, Rarity’s eyes briefly scanned Sunset’s form. “And I must say, I think you’ll look positively stunning when it’s finished. It really is a welcome sight to see you wearing something other than that old leather jacket.”
Sunset smiled, glimpsing a slight flush in her cheeks in a nearby mirror. “Thanks,” she said. “I do like that jacket, though. No idea what it’s made from, but it’s really tough. It saved me from some pretty nasty friction burns in a motorbike accident.”
Rarity paused. “You... you don’t know what leather is made of?”
“I’m pretty sure I’d heard the term in Equestria before,” said Sunset. “All I really knew was that it’s strictly contraband there, so it felt pretty rebellious wearing it all the time. It’s... kind of embarrassing to say it, but that jacket really made me feel like a badass.”
Rarity cringed, letting out a slight hiss as she sucked in air through clenched teeth. “I... I suppose that would explain things.”
Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Explain what?”
“Well...” Rarity placed a finger to her chin, anxiously tapping her foot. “Oh dear, how do I put this lightly? You’re a vegetarian, correct?”
“Duh,” Sunset replied. “Most of the animals you eat are sapient where I’m from. You try eating a burger when you’ve held entire conversations with cows.”
“Yes, and that’s exactly the issue, Sunset,” said Rarity. “Leather is... it’s...” Her words died off, and she let out a sigh. “There’s no way of sugarcoating it, I’m afraid. It’s made from cow hide.”
The statement hit Sunset with the force of a eighteen-wheel truck. Almost immediately she doubled over, lapsing into a prolonged coughing fit as her lungs fought to steady themselves from the initial shock. The many needles in her dress poked, prodded, and in some cases punctured her skin, but it was only a minor irritation compared to the absolute horror that had struck her.
“Easy there, Sunset!” Rarity cried out. As swiftly as she could without sacrificing her careful touch, she grabbed Sunset by the shoulder, holding her steady. “Easy. It’s alright. You’ll be okay.”
“N-no!” Sunset shouted back. “It’s not okay! Nothing about it is okay! I... I... Oh, dear Celestia, what kind of horrible monster am I?”
“Sunset, you’re not a monster.”
“Yes I am!” said Sunset. Strands of red-gold hair obstructed her eyes, and between them and the rapidly-forming tears she had trouble making out Rarity’s figure. “I’ve been wearing the skin of a cow! Those are people where I’m from! I... I’m like some sort of demented serial killer!”
“Sunset. Look at me.” Rarity’s hands moved upwards, firmly yet gently grasping Sunset by the cheeks. As Sunset glimpsed the deep compassion shining through Rarity’s eyes, her rapid, agitated breaths began to steady. “You’re not a serial killer,” Rarity reassured, “and you’re not a monster either. You are a good person, and don’t you dare for a second think otherwise.”
Sunset shivered slightly at Rarity’s touch. Memories of unpleasant times were brought up to the forefront of her mind. “B-but...”
“Yes, even with all the bad things you’ve done,” Rarity answered, as though she knew exactly what Sunset would say. A gentle smile crossed her face, as she brushed the stray hairs out of Sunset’s face. “If you weren’t a good person at heart, you wouldn’t have worked so hard to change everything for the better. You’ve done so much for all of us, and we couldn’t be happier to have you as a friend.”
Sunset sniffled slightly. “You... you really mean that, huh?”
“Of course I do,” said Rarity. “Are you feeling better now?”
“I... I guess so yeah,” Sunset replied. “I might need to get a new jacket, though. It just... feels gross, thinking about wearing it now.”
“Well, there’s no need to worry about that,” said Rarity. “I’m certain you’ll be able to find plenty of faux-leather jackets to replace it.” She turned her head downwards and glanced at the dress, looking at the mess of loose fabric and undone pins that it had become. “Now then, if you’ll hold still for a while so I can start over...”
“Oh no,” said Sunset. “More pins?”
Rarity flashed Sunset a smirk. “More pins.”
————————
...Well. That certainly wasn’t a horrifying moment to relive at all.
Sure, I may not be at all interested in being nice, but the mere thought of wearing actual cow hide is just... gah. I feel gross just thinking about it, and I’d been wearing that leather jacket for nearly three years. Thank god Rarity told me, or I’d probably still be wearing it as a human. I just wish she’d told me sooner.
I blinked rapidly as a sudden epiphany dawned on me. In my mind, I’d referred to an event that parasite experienced as thought it had happened to me. And I thanked Rarity for it, as though she was actually my friend. This... this feedback, it’s messing with my brain. Something’s happening to my mind.
Thinking about how my mind is being altered without my consent, I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. With every soul I absorbed, I became less like me, and more like... like that parasite. Like her. And I didn’t know why it was happening. Or at least, I didn’t think I did. There was a possibility in the back of my mind that’d been starting to form, one that I could only hope wasn’t true.
The feedback isn’t making me more like the parasite. I always was like the parasite, and these visions, they’re... they’re making me remember that I’m like her.
I... No. No, that couldn’t be true. I’m nothing like that goddamned thing that took control of my entire life. If I were like her, why did she spend so much time pushing me away? Why did she keep me bottled inside, trying to pretend I wasn’t there? Why didn’t she let me be a part of her?
No, that... that’s ridiculous. I’m thinking complete nonsense. I can’t let myself be distracted by nonsense. One last pony before I moved on to Celestia, and then Twilight. I could do this.
...Just as long as I ignored that growing feeling that I’d soon screw up.
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Rarity’s Defeat 1{u/r}B
Sorcery
Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn. If that creature is named Rarity, Gem Weaver, sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step.
“You remind me of your clothing. Pretty, but useless.”
— Sunset the Exiled
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It had taken far too much time for Sunset to return to Ponyville proper. At her tiny size, a walk that would have taken her minutes was made almost five times as long, and judging by the sun’s position it was already well into the afternoon. By then, her other, darker self could have already absorbed the souls of all her other friends, too.
No, don’t think about that just yet, Sunset reminded herself. Don’t assume the worst. I have to hold onto some hope that I can fix this.
Eventually, Sunset’s path brought her back to the main square of Ponyville. The traffic had thinned out considerably from earlier that day, though there was still enough pedestrian traffic that she had to carefully navigate her way between the moving hooves of ponies too large to notice her. Thankfully, by then she had already grown adept at maneuvering through the potentially-lethal crowds, no doubt helped her body’s inability to tire.
Of course, Sunset still had no idea where she was going, or what she would do next. At first she hadn’t even considered her lack of a plan, but soon a temporary lull in the traffic left her standing in an open space on the pavement. Without her routine of weaving through other ponies’ legs, she was left only to consider how unprepared she was.
Get help. I need to get help, was the first thought that had popped up into her head. But from who?
Twilight was her first choice, but in all likelihood she was still in her castle, behind doors far too large for her to open. Its crystal architecture seemed almost designed to be hostile to someone of her size, with no opening she knew of within her reach. Princess Celestia was her next choice, but she was in Canterlot, far too distant for her tiny form to ever reach in time. After that, she could only draw blanks. There was nobody she could think of whose soul wasn’t already stolen, or who wouldn’t be at risk of having their soul stolen by the time she’d gotten there. She couldn’t predict where her counterpart would go yet.
Unpredictable...
The word lingered on her mind well after the initial thought was finished. That was it. Unpredictable. Pinkie Pie was the one. If her other half was anything like her, she wouldn’t be able to guess what Pinkie would do. That meant going after Pinkie was one of the biggest risk. And that meant Pinkie stood a greater chance of standing up to her. By the time the pedestrian traffic picked up enough to force Sunset to move, she was already heading towards Sugarcube Corner.
The trip, thankfully, was far shorter than her trip back from Sweet Apple Acres. Sugarcube Corner was only a few short blocks away from the town square, its bright and colorful architecture unmistakably visible from very far away. Sunset soon arrived just outside the pastry shop, smoke wafting from its chimney as its stove was no doubt hard at work baking its delicious treats. Sunset instinctively tried to sniff the air, hoping to catch a scent of the pastries, only to be bitterly reminded that she no longer had any nose or respiratory tract to speak of.
Forget the pastries, she reminded herself, I need to find a way in.
The door was the first option, but closer examination revealed the crack between itself and the ground too small for her to fit through, and either way she didn’t want to risk being shattered by standing to close when it was opened. That left the next option, the windows. As she circled the building, she examined each of its windows in turn, dodging the hoofsteps of other ponies along the way, only for disappointment to escalate with each passing window being closed.
Finally, just as she was about to give up entirely, Sunset glanced the last window, left hanging open just enough for a pie to cool on the kitchen windowsill. But then came the hard part, which was actually reaching it.
Ducking closer to the building’s edge, Sunset moved out of the way of the traffic, positioning herself just beneath her target. Magic, she realized, was her only chance. Turning her mind inwards, she dug deep within her shallow magic reserves. While most of it had already recovered, it was still barely anything at all, only just enough for even a rudimentary spell.
Stepping backwards from the building’s side, and positioning herself at just the right angle to enter, Sunset looked up and cast jump. Almost immediately she came to regret her actions, as while she soared straight through the window and into the building’s interior, she quickly realized that she had no magic left to cushion her impact. As the floor rapidly approached, Sunset screwed her eyes shut, bracing herself for what she could only assume would be her end.
“Gotcha!”
As Pinkie’s voice called out from the blue, Sunset felt herself land, yet her body remained entirely intact. As she opened her eyes, she realized she was lying on top of a large, cushy pillow, held up by a gigantic pink hoof. Standing up, she found herself staring directly into the enormous eyes of Pinkie Pie herself.
“Wow, Sunset! Nice outfit!” Pinkie said. “I gotta say, I am loving the new look!” A very Pinkie-like giggle passed her lips, one that involved a noticeable amount of snorting.
“Uh... yeah, thanks,” said Sunset. Even going in expecting to be surprised, Pinkie had managed to act before Sunset’s mind could catch up with what she did. “Listen, Pinkie, I need your help. I know who’s stolen your friends’ souls.”
“You do?” said Pinkie. Her gargantuan smile shrunk into almost nothing, and the twinkle in her eyes seemed to dull just a bit.
“Yes,” said Sunset. Somehow, even without any lungs, she could feel a sudden tightness in her chest as she recalled the atrocities committed by her own likeness. Images of Sweet Apple Acres burning, of Fluttershy’s body lying in the hospital, and of the terrified look on Luna’s face as she was dragged away by tendrils of evil magic. “It’s... it’s me, Pinkie. Or half of me. I... I’m not sure how, but the darker part of my personality’s been split off from me, and is now going out of her way to hurt everyone you care about. I... don’t know how to stop her, Pinkie. I don’t know how to stop my other self. Please, you have to help me! I can’t let her hurt anyone else!”
Pinkie’s expression remained unreadable as she watched Sunset intently, listening closely to her every word. When Sunset finished, Pinkie sat on her haunches, folding one of her front legs across her chest while the other thoughtfully rubbed her chin. Somehow, the pillow Sunset was sitting on remained suspended, even without Pinkie’s hoof to hold it in place.
“Hmm...” For several seconds, Pinkie sat in place, lost deep within her own thoughts. “Okay, I think I got it. Evil half of your personality takes control and tries to cause a bunch of pain and suffering for no reason, because apparently some part of the universe wants you to be dark and edgy, right? I’m familiar with that myself. Well, maybe not myself myself, but I have a pretty solid hunch some other myselfs are.”
Sunset blinked. “I... I’m sorry, what?”
“Don’t worry about it!” said Pinkie, quickly standing back on four hooves. In the corner of her eye, Sunset almost swore she could see a fifth hoof holding up the pillow. She tried to ignore that thought and spare herself the headache. “I’ve already come up with a plan. I’m getting some weird vibes from my Pinkie Sense right now, and it’s probably trying to tell me that evil-you is coming. So here’s what you’re going to do.”
Sunset leaned forward, listening intently and ignoring any questions she might have had about ‘Pinkie Sense.’ “Alright, shoot.”
“You need to get out of here,” said Pinkie. “Let me deal with evil-you for now. You focus on trying to get to Twilight, because if this is about what I think it’s about, there’s probably some grudge going on about her replacing both evil-you and you-you as Princess Celestia’s student. Am I right?”
Sunset nodded, a phantom lump forming in her throat. “I... Yes. From what I can tell, my darker half hates Princess Twilight more than anyone else. She’ll probably try to take everyone else’s souls first so she can hurt Twilight as much as possible. Make her feel the loss of everyone she cares about.”
“Right,” said Pinkie. “So that means what you need to do is find Twilight. But more importantly, don’t reveal yourself to her.”
Sunset’s eyes went wide. “What!? Pinkie, I-I trust you, but why? She needs to know what’s happening! Everyone she cares about is in danger! Twilight’s in danger!”
“I know that!” Pinkie snapped back. For the first time, there was a slight edge to her voice, a subtle hint of anger pushing its way to the edges. “I’m just telling you what you need to do to save everypony, okay? So are you going to listen or not?”
“I-I...” Sunset stammered. A twinge of shame crawled into her porcelain chest cavity, nesting in a place far deeper than her body. “Yes. I’m sorry, I’ll listen. Just tell me what I need to do.”
Pinkie gave Sunset a nod. “Alright good. Here’s what you need to do. Find Twilight, but don’t reveal yourself to her, or to anypony else. Instead, wait for evil-you to come back, and let her get into her fight with Twilight.”
Sunset’s jaw dropped. “What!? Pinkie, no offense, but that’s crazy! If that happens, Twilight—”
“Just listen!” Pinkie interject. “You need to let them fight. Then, just when it looks like evil-you is about to win, you need to distract her. It doesn’t have to be a big distraction, just something that can draw her attention away from Twilight. Once you’ve done that, I’ll move in with my part of the plan, and everypony’s souls will be free. Got it?”
Sunset mimicked a gulp, in an effort to swallow her apprehension. She had to trust Pinkie, she reminded herself. She had to have faith in her friend. “...I think so, yes. But what’s your part of the plan?”
Pinkie grinned widely, the overhead lights glinting off of a set of teeth that was unreasonably perfect for how many sweets she ate. “Well, it won’t work if I tell you, silly! There’d be no tension!”
“What? Tension?” said Sunset. “That’s... Pinkie, this isn’t a game! Everyone’s lives are at stake! Twilight’s life is at stake! If we don’t stop her, then—”
Before Sunset could even finish her sentence, the voice of Mrs. Cake called from the other room.
“Pinkie dear, I believe your friend Sunset is here to see you!”
Pinkie gasped. “Oh no, she’s here! Quick, you’ve got to get out of here! And don’t forget what I told you! Just stick to the plan, and everything will be okay!”
Before Sunset could even respond, Pinkie reached out with her hoof and grabbed her. In a single smooth motion, she leaned out the windowsill, her front leg stretching an impossibly long distance as it gently lowered Sunset to the ground. By the time Sunset looked up again, Pinkie had already retreated back into the kitchen.
Sunset sighed. “Right. I guess I have a plan now,” she said. “I just hope you know what you’re doing, Pinkie...”
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If there’s one thing I’ll give Sugarcube Corner, it’s that its name couldn’t be more appropriate. Just stepping into the kitchen made me worry I’d catch diabetes. The air was so heavily saturated with the aromas of sweet-smelling pastries that I could actually feel the airborne sugar granules traveling down my windpipe. Stepping in, I fully expected to be greeted by the divine apotheosis of a sugar rush, as I’m pretty sure Pinkie is by this point.
What I found was... not that. It was, in fact, the very last thing I expected to see from Pinkie. I fully expected her to defy my expectations in the most bizarre possible way, and somehow she found a way to defy even that.
The pink pony I was looking at was not the Element of Laughter. The pony I was looking was the most depressed pony I’ve ever seen. Gone was usual pink mass of curls for a mane, instead replaced by a straight cut that drooped like a wilting flower. It could have just been an optical illusion, but it looked like the very color in her body was fading, becoming duller.
“Pinkie?” I said. It was only a guess, as the pony before me didn’t look like Pinkie at all. “What happened?”
Pinkie, or so I assumed, looked up at me. Her eyes had no trace of tears, yet just at a glance I could see this unbearable sadness to them, like all of the weight in the world was dragging them down.
“I know what you did to my friends,” she whispered. “And I know you’re going to do it to me, too.”
My entire body froze. She knew. Somehow, she’d found out about everything. I don’t know how she knew, but it explained everything about what I was seeing. Pinkie’s friends were almost literally the entire world to her. She based the whole of her identity not just on having friends, but on making sure that they were living the happiest, most fulfilling lives they could.
Take that away from her, and she has absolutely nothing left to live for.
My face split open into the widest grin I’d ever had since regaining control of my body. “So you do,” I said. “And you I already have the souls of most of your friends. You’d like to see them again, wouldn’t you?”
Pinkie sniffled slightly. “Y-yeah,” she said.
“Good,” I replied. “Then hold still.”
My horn pulsed with dark power, and right away Pinkie slumped onto the ground as her soul exited through her mouth, spiraling its way into my horn, and then into my own mind. I didn’t even feel her bother to wriggle as she went down. She’d just... given up.
A part of me was suspicious. It was too easy, I’d thought. There had to be something I was missing. Something that I’d overlooked. But the thought of an easy victory was soon contrasted against my memories of victories that were anything but easy, and all the embarrassment I had to suffer in order to win them.
In the end, I decided that I’d take it. A victory is a victory, and a chance for breather was much appreciated. I didn’t get much of a chance to enjoy that breather, however, as I once again found myself being pulled into a flashback.
This one was... different, though. It wasn’t a memory of anything I recalled ever experiencing, either as myself or when I was controlled by the parasite. In fact, I was only half-certain it was something that actually happened in real life. On the positive side, I know what a fursona is now. On the negative, I also never want to hear about fursonas again.
Seriously Pinkie, that’s just disturbing.
When my initial revulsion wore of, I was left wondering why the flashback here was different. My best guess was that Pinkie surrendered herself willingly, so it didn’t have the same effect. Then again, Pinkie also completely defied the logic of how my magic geode as a human worked, so I figured it wasn’t worth questioning too deeply.
Now that only left Princess Celestia and Twilight to deal with. That was where the real fun would begin.
————————
Pinkie Pie’s Defeat BR
Sorcery
Destroy target creature. Then, if that creature was named Pinkie, Joyful Hedonist, exile all cards from its controller’s graveyard.
“Oh, don’t look so glum. I’m smiling, aren’t I?”
— Sunset the Exiled
————————
“Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee—oof!”
As the spiraling rollercoaster of the soul drain spell abruptly wore off, Pinkie found herself landing within the confines of Sunset’s mindscape. It was a tiny, boring chamber of boring grey in a boring plain cube shape, boringly devoid of even the boringest non-boring features that would make it anything less than boring.
And as if that weren’t bad enough, Pinkie didn’t see any trace of her friends anywhere.
“Helloooooo?” she called out. “Is anypony else in there?”
“Pinkie Pie, is that you?” Applejack’s voice called from beyond the walls. “She got you too, huh?”
“Yuppers!” Pinkie replied. “But don’t worry, it’s all part of the plan! So, how many of us has she got so far?”
“Plan?” Rainbow Dash’s voice called back. “What plan? Pinkie, you’re not telling me you got caught on purpose, are you?”
“Rainbow, don’t be rude,” Fluttershy’s voice replied. “I’m sure Pinkie’s come up with a wonderful plan to get us all out of here.”
“I would certainly hope so,” said Rarity. “I’m not even strictly alive to begin with. My soul’s attachment to the living world is more tenuous than anypony’s. If I’m away from my body for too long, I... I don’t know if I’ll be able to stay in the living world.”
“Re-lax,” Pinkie reassured. “I’ve totally got this! So who else do we have right now? I need a good headcount before we begin. Princess Luna’s here too, right?”
“That I am,” Luna’s voice replied. “But, and I mean this without any offence, I can hardly see the cause for your optimism. The last time I was trapped within the mindscape of another was when the Nightmare consumed me. Even with my considerable power, there was naught I could do but wait for an opportunity to wrest myself free. It had taken one thousand years before such an opportunity presented itself. We simply do not have that kind of time now.”
“Well yeah,” said Pinkie, “I totally get that. But this is different! I’m pretty sure Evil Bad Guy Sunset isn’t some abstract parasitic force of darkness that manifests through the jealousy and rage of its host, she’s just the sad and angry half of an ordinary pony!”
“I see not what difference that makes,” Luna said glumly. “We are still trapped either way.”
“But you’re the Princess of the Night!” Pinkie called back. “You can walk through into other ponies dreams, right? And aren’t dreams are just windows into our own minds?”
Luna paused for a moment, creating a brief lull in the conversation. “...Yes, that is correct. May I ask where you are going with this?”
“Easy-peasy!” said Pinkie. “We don’t need a window into Evil Bad Guy Sunset’s mind because we’re already in her mind! That means you should be able to influence it the same way you influence dreams, right?”
“I... I hadn’t thought of that,” said Luna. “But I cannot directly control the mind through dreams. I may be able to subtly influence a pony's subconscious thoughts, but ultimately they are still the master of their own mind.”
“No no, it’s nothing that complicated,” said Pinkie. “No mind-control or anything. I just need you to plant an idea in Sunset’s head so that she thinks it’s her idea. Can you do that?”
“What? Pinkie, that’s...” Luna paused, clearing her throat. “What I mean to say is, what you speak of is theoretically possible, but it has never been successfully attempted in practice. I may be able to accomplish such a feat, but there is no guarantee it will work.”
“But you’ve got to try!” Pinkie pleaded. “It may be our only chance of escaping!”
There was another pregnant pause, as the mindscape fell silent. The weight of their situation pressed down on Pinkie like a mountain, letting the seriousness of everything her friends had seen sink in.
“...If that’s what we must do, I will try,” Luna finally spoke up. “It will take more than half an hour of continuous spellcasting on my part, but I may be able to pull it off. But first, I must know of the idea you wish for me to implant.”
“Okie-dokie, loki!” said Pinkie. Leaning against the wall from which Luna’s voice had emanated, she began speaking to her fellow captor in a stage whisper. “Here’s what we’ll need you to do...”
————————
Incepted Insight U
Sorcery
Search another target player’s library for a card and exile it. That player puts that card into his or her hand, then shuffles his or her library afterwards.
Ideas are only as valuable as the person who has them.
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No one expects the Pinkie inquisition!
As long as they don't have to go deeper they should be fine. Less security that way
Eldrazi magic isn't colorless; it's pink.
I do love the stack abuse in the Rarity-Sunset fight. "In response, I redirect the spell!" "In response, I redirect the spell!"
I know, right? Why do none of these mares use that time to try to get away or ask for help?
Very interesting touch with dark Sunset's suppressed sense of exclusion. It does make sense. Something Sinset will have to bear in mind when she pulls herself together.
A thought occurs: Most of the soulless bodies are still at least alive. Rarity doesn't even have that. Aside from the hazards of her soul staying out of her body for too long, that body might well begin decomposing.
Let it go, Sunset. Parapinkieology is the least of your worries right now.
"I never thought of that"? Really? I can buy Luna not thinking of inception, but did you have to phrase her response such that Pinkie's teaching her grandmother to suck proverbial eggs?
Also, for Incepted Insight, it's perfectly permissible to put things into an opponent's hand. What do you think Unsummon does?
Now that we're through dark Sunset's inevitable victories, I look forward to seeing just how she loses the war.
8718908
I'd object to Unsummon as an example because it refers to a permanent on the battlefield, which is distinct within the rules from an actual card. There's honestly not any real comparison within the existing set of cards (that I know of) that has an analogous effect.
I think it's also noting that Luna has, up to this point, assumed that Evil!Sunset is analogous to Nightmare Moon, who she couldn't reasonably nfluence from within the same way. As Pinkie pointed out though, that's not really an accurate comparison to what's really going on.
8718918
Well, there is at least one comparison... and it looks like you're in the right.
8718926
Huh. That’s a very interesting card, though I can see why it never caught on in constructed. I could probably make it work in EDH, somehow...
8719400
You can Fail to Find whenever searching a hidden zone. The card just reads "Look at target player's library, you MAY put a card into their hand"
8718926
Great, now I have an idea for a blue/black deck destruction EDH deck based around that card. Use something that makes them toss their hand after using it, then pop something that makes their graveyard go away, and suddenly you've destroyed their strongest cards. Just make sure they don't get any counter spells in their hand when you use Head Games.
Rarity's Defeat doesn't work as a hybrid card, at least not a base-black one. Slave of Bolas only gets away with it because it's guaranteed to kill the creature and so it's not really a blue-black Threaten, like this one usually is.
I feel like a targeted discard spell that Cranial Extractions if it takes Rarity would be the best fit for this color combination.
8934888
The “Defeat” cycle here are meant to be flavorful reflections of the characters being defeated more than anything else, so I designed them to bend the mechanical identities of their colors slightly whenever it was appropriate.
The color pie is meant to be a guideline for what each color’s role in the game is, but treating it as a strict ruleset that can never be deviated from in any circumstance leads to interesting and fun card designs being stifled. Path to Exile, for example, is considered by MaRo to be bending the rules of what white can do (white isn’t “supposed” to be better at creature removal than black), and yet you won’t ever hear anyone claiming that card shouldn’t have been printed.
Pinkie pls
Anywho, it looks like Sunset Demon might just crack all by herself, and with Pinkie's push...