Princess Celestia's Side Trip To Aperture.

by Powerdrainer

Soo… The Cake Is A Lie, huh?

Edited by Slayerseba and Clawder.

Soo… The Cake Is A Lie, huh?

<<>><<>><<>>

Slowly Celestia retraced her steps back to the elevator. Her mane, normally waving energetically, seemed to have lost some of its luster and her bangs hung lowly over her eyes; eyes which stared forwards without much emotion, the shock of what she had just discovered almost life changing in its severity.

The radio she had brought with her lay forgotten in the room she'd just left, waiting for someone else to find it one day, maybe?

As for the portal gun, Celestia still carried it with her, aiming it in front of her with her magic ready to press the firing button.

Someone had some explaining to do.

Reaching the wall which had opened up, she stepped back into the hallway leading to the elevator. Yet as she turned the other way, back to the testing area, she found instead a wall blocking her way, leaving her with no place to go other than back to the room with those horrible things written on the wall, or the elevator.

It wasn't really much of a choice.

Stepping towards the glass tube, Celestia stopped a leg length away from the closed door; her face a mask of collected calmness as she saw the elevator itself was gone.

"Glados," she called the AI, turning to the nearest camera.

No reply came and the camera was unresponsive; aimed down and unmoving.

Only raising a single, slender eyebrow in response, Celestia fired her portal gun at the camera; a burst of blue energy hitting, then dissipating without any visible effect on the artificial eye.

"Glados," she tried again, voice calm and collected.

With a silent mechanical humm, the camera moved up, its lens focusing on Celestia.

"Oh, I see you have returned," Glados said with disinterest. "Though I must admit this is a surprise, as simulations for the reason of your sudden disappearance all pointed towards you being dematerialized by the Emancipation Grill. Also, recent surveys of my optical processors indicate there are no malfunctions, which means you are standing there and aren't dead, yet, and are able to continue testing. Initiating celebratory protocol."

Sudden, loud cheering filled the room; streamers and confetti falling down the elevator shaft.

"Glados," Celestia said after a short but uncomfortable silence. "Would you mind telling me why there is an immense complex of structures, walkways and stairs outside these testing chambers?"

The camera bobbed in silence, the lense focusing and refocusing as Glados accessed additional data clusters.

"Despite this facility's malleable nature, a fixed path is required for easy access to all levels by Aperture Science personnel. You, however, are not listed on the personal roster and admission to have entered this off limits area forces me to disqualify you for further testing. Please step on the elevator," Glados instructed as the elevator descended, "and it will return you to the waiting area where you will be presented with the bill for damage inflicted to this facility and its equipment."

"And what about the cake?" Celestia asked, looking imploringly at the camera.

"Disqualification also forfeit rewards promised upon completion of these tests."

The corners of Celestia's mouth tightened slightly.

"I see," she said simply. "Though I must ask: where are all these employees? The area I found was completely overturned and abandoned, clearly for a long time. Not to mention, the very disturbing message I found written on the wall. It's obvious there hasn't been anypony there for a long, long time."

"Oh, you shouldn't worry about such trivial matters. My creators are known to be lazy and rather messy whenlefttorotaftergassingthemwithneurotoxin."

"I'm sorry, what was that last part?" Celestia asked, the last bit of what Glados said was delivered with such speed, that the words got jumbled together. Still, she had a good idea what it was she just heard and was shocked to say the least, though her calm facade remained intact.

"Clearly your auditory receptors are malfunctioning," Glados stated.

"Perhaps," Celestia hummed as she inspected her portal gun. "Still, I would like to speak with whomever is in charge of this facility."

"I'm afraid that isn't possible, as the one in charge has no interest in a magical, talking unicorn princess. Should this position be taken by a six year old girl, however, you will be informed and an appointment will be made."

"Alicorn," Celestia corrected. "I'm an alicorn, and I must insist," she stared determinedly into the camera. "And the way I see it, you either take me yourself, or I simply take the long route," she stated matter of factly, turning back to the still open wall just out of camera angle for Glados. "After all, you did say there is a fixed path for employees out there. I wonder where it could take me, should I be forced to go there instead?"

Silence.

"Very well," Glados begrudgingly agreed. "Enter the elevator and it will be redirected to the main office."

For a moment, Celestia looked at the elevator as the doors slid open. Then, with her mind made up, she entered.

"Protocol dictates me to inform you that you are not going to enjoy this," Glados informed her with curious undertone to her voice.

"On that we agree," Celestia replied as the doors slid shut and the elevator began to ascend.

<<>><<>><<>>

Just as the previous times she used the elevator, Celestia rapidly rose up; momentarily unable to see anything but the passage her ride took her through. But then, where she would arrive at the next stop previously, she instead found the elevator suspended on its track above the room she just left; surrounding her a controlled chaos of walkways, stairs, ladders, enormous complexes shifting around into new configurations and a multitude of glass tubes swirling around; with the cubes she knew from personal interactions, to the strange, elongated ovals on tripod legs she saw in the first room she'd entered racing through them. She even noticed several tubes pumping thick orange and blue sludge around, its purpose unknown to her.

With a jolt, the elevator stopped and she hung still between rooms, giving her a couple of seconds to look around until another jarring shock rocked her around.

Requiring a moment to catch herself, Celestia saw the elevator had switched tracks as it was already in transit; sideways this time and she soon slid past the rooms below, and above her.

It was only then, that the titanic scale of this immens complex snapped into focus, for as far as she looked, she couldn't find any indication of a wall, floor, or ceiling; the distance so great everything was lost to it and everything around her, all the structures, walkways, and tubes hung supported above the immense chasm down below.

For the first time in a very, very long time Celestia felt herself being small, very small and she hoped the elevator wouldn't 'accidentally' break from its track.

As the elevator moved, Celestia saw more and more complexly designed chambers, their purpose unknown to her. Then, with another jolt, once again taking her by surprise, the Elevator switched tracks again; this time going down several stories, before moving to the left. Her ride continued on this path for a full seven minutes, before another jolt, which she suspected by now was done on purpose, the elevator once again switched tracks and rose up, moving higher, and higher until it finally moved into the largest structure Celestia had seen in this immense complex so far.

Back within the shaft of a structure, the walls surrounding her seemed to press in on her, after hanging, suspended above nothing, but an endless drop. The lights were also dimmed to the point the faint glow of her portal gun basked the inside of the elevator with blue light. And as she rose higher and higher, she dreaded exactly what it was she would find.

Eventually, finally, the elevator rose up from the floor within a large, circular chamber. Just not like those she'd seen before. There were no display walls surrounding her, or stairs or other paths leading to another room. Instead, there was a multitude of flat surfaced panels encircling the chamber in a dome, with a large, strange machine hanging from the ceiling.

With a hiss the elevator stopped, but the doors refused to open.

"Glados, would it be possible for you to open the doors please?"

"Well, aren't you demanding," Glados replied. However, this time her voice did not come from the cleverly concealed speakers, but from the large machine.

With a startling burst of motion, the device spun around and closed the distance between itself, and Celestia. A large orange glowing eye stared at the mare through the elevator's glass doors.

Instinctively, Celestia took half a step back before she caught herself. Not that she could have gone far in the enclosed space of the elevator, but she knew she couldn't show her shock and fear, and instead, through years of trial, hardship, and politics, she managed to keep a neutral face.

"So, we meet face to face at last… I think," Celestia began, taking a moment to study the sentient machine. "And am I right to assume you're the one in charge around here, or are you merely the assistant?"

"Had I not already created a character profile based on your performance during the tests you've done, I would have been surprised by your lack of understanding of the current situation. As it is, your attempt at humor is poor at best. Though, considering what's coming, I'll give you this much. Ha ha ha," Glados fake laughed. "There, does that make you feel better? No? Oh well, not that it matters much."

"So, is that a yes, or a no to the assistant thing?"

Glados moved back a bit, her 'head' tilting to the left.

"Stop playing dumb with me," Glados intoned, annoyed. "You've already taken more of my time than I would have liked, don't prolong this with pointless questions."

"Very well, I'll get to the point, then," Celestia agreed, looking imploringly at Glados. "Is the cake a lie?"

"... What?" Glados' processes halted for several cycles as she looked a the mutant horse.

"Is. The. Cake. A. Lie?" Celestia repeated.

Slowly Glados moved towards Celestia, her eye locked on the princess with dedicated focus.

"I am an high functioning intelect, containing the full knowledge of the creatures who created me; capable of technological marvels you would never be able to understand; who holds answers to the laughable questions your greatest minds have come up with and all you want to know is whether, or not there is cake?"

"That does sums it up rather nicely, yes," Celestia confirmed, nodding once.

"You know," Glados said after a short pause. "I agreed to hold you here as it provided me with new avenues for tests designed to your unusual capabilities. Yet in the short time you've been here, going through the simplest, most standard tests, you have done more damage than any other test subject on record save one. And though I planned on bisecting you to find the cause of your mutation, I now realize you're not worth the trouble. So, instead, I'll just dispose of you. And I know just where to put you."

With a loud CLANG, a large mechanical clamp grabbed hold of the elevator; lifting it up while a hurried proclamation of the now familiar stallion's voice informed Celestia the suppression field was boosted to full strength.

The portal gun slammed to the metal floor as Celestia's magic faltered and failed.

Closing in, Glados glared at the trapped pony.

"And should you survive, well, it should be an educational experience for the both of us." And by her command, the elevator was moved to an empty elevator shaft, then surrendered to gravity's unrelenting grasp.

<<>><<>><<>>

Trapped and bereft of her magic, Celestia found she was utterly helpless as the elevator plummeted down. And as a result of a little something called terminal velocity, Celestia slammed into the ceiling, hard; an involuntary and explosive gasp turned wheeze escaping her as the portal gun slammed into her gut.

Unable to summon her magic and slow the glass box, which Glados had chosen as her casket, all Celestia could do was hold on for dear life as she fell deeper and deeper; only the dim glow of the portal gun allowing her to see as all other light had vanished; the tumbling elevator slamming into the walls of the shaft as it wobbled from end to end, cracking the glass and filling the claustrophobic box with sharp shards and splinters, several of which sliced through Celestia's fur, drawing blood.

Further and further she fell, until, without warning, she discovered just how deep this hole was when the elevator slammed into the ground, and Celestia's world went dark.

Comments

[Magnus Orion]

Neat. Old aperture, here we go!

[Emtu]

...WITH THE LEMONS!

[Kichi]

Celestia need to give revenge to the cake.