Sunset Shimmer meets Sunset Shimmer...
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Intriguing start!
Only one suggestion, it helps to use the HTML tag [ h r ] without the spaces or press ctrl + h in the editor to add a marker between perspective shifts. It's going to be important to make those clear and I honestly missed the first transition. Using the tag gives you a marker like the one below:
Looking forward to seeing what you have planned.
Is sunset with moondancer and twilight?
Thank you both for your feed back!
Human Sunset is married to the human Moon Dancer and our Sunset is dating Twilight.
And https://www.fimfiction.net/user/250096/Battlecat thank you so much! I couldn't figure it out!
8427594
Oh ok my bad i must have missed something while reading lol.
Anyway i am interested in the story so keep it up.
8427594
Oh, I thought Sunset was cheating. My bad.
This is an intriguing idea, and I look forward to what's next. I would also suggest trying to get a proof reader or someone to go over it, to try to avoid small mistakes, because there were a few spelling errors every once in a while.
It's a decent start to a story. A few spelling mistakes / capitalisation errors here and there, but nothing that jarred too badly. Still an enjoyable read.
8438276
Also, getting out of (bead > bed).
Okay, how is Sunset Pregnant?
8900076
I don't think it is important to the story. I came up with something in my prequel if you are interested.
I know that it's the author's choice whether they want Sunset to eat stuff like that but...
Isn't Sunset vegetarian?
9708576
One of the Sunset's dose not live alone. Moon Dancer is not vegetarian.