096 - The Odd Pair
Renee was having a tea break with Daniel when the map started flashing. Primary Technician Pidge was also in the room, performing maintenance on the screens lining the walls.
“Sweet!” Pidge said, aiming a scanner at the Map. “I finally get to see what this is like in action. The powers behind these quests…”
“Oh, a Friendship Mission,” Renee said. “I wonder if I’m going to have to call anyone away from their expeditions?”
“Wonder if it’s us?” Daniel mused, watching as the magic of harmony began to form symbols.
Renee smirked. “Last time it sent us we were marriage counselors for Nova and Sunburst. It seems to think we understand how it works.”
They moved to share a kiss, but Renee saw the symbols fully take shape before she could follow through. “Oh no.”
“OH YES!” Discord crowed, appearing above the map in a shower of oranges with wings. “Behold, the Tree of Harmony has realized that I may be of assistance!” He gestured at the tornado that represented him.
“This is not the first time this has happened,” Renee pointed out, using her magic to keep the flying oranges from smashing into her face.
“So? Every time it does I get to see that adorable face of yours.”
Daniel chuckled at this.
Renee feigned an expression of betrayal.
“Question!” Pidge said, holding up her scanner. “As a being of chaos, what does it feel like to be summoned by harmony?”
“Anyway, who’s my partner today?” Discord asked, ignoring Pidge. “Or is there a big action team being prepared?”
“It’s Trixie,” Renee said, pointing at the magic wand overtop of a crescent of stars.
Discord snapped his fingers, summoning Trixie right there, complete with her performing outfit. She had a rabbit in her hooves. Trixie gasped indignantly. “Trixie was in the middle of a show!”
“Hrm, what’s more important, show, or going on an adventure with your pal, Discord?”
“Trixie had two minutes left! Trixie was heading right over.”
“You’re here now,” Renee said. “I can have another Trixie at your show in… two minutes.”
“Don’t bother. Just let them know what happened to their poor, starved performer,” Trixie said, putting a hoof to her brow.
“Starved?” Discord laughed.
“Trixie, dear, you own two mansions,” Renee pointed out.
Trixie giggled. “Yeah. Success is pretty sweet, isn’t it?”
“How much of that money do you make performing, hmm?” Discord asked.
“Wh- enough! What are you insinuating!?”
“Oh, nothing, nothing at all.”
Daniel shook his head. “He’s trying to poke fun at your ‘internet fame’ money.”
“Vlogs are a legitimate way to make a living!”
“Nobody is questioning that,” Renee assured her.
“I am,” Discord retorted.
Trixie gasped. “Why you little-!”
“How about we look at where you’re going?” Renee interrupted, turning back to the map. It had brought up a version of Equis that looked similar to the standard one, but with numerous places where the geography was distorted into extreme forms, or where great gashes cut deeply into the earth. “Oh… This is Affix’s homeworld. Equis Winch.”
“What’s with that nervous expression? I don’t like that nervous expression,” Trixie said.
“Well, the world itself is fine… It’s just they basically suffered a full apocalypse at the hands of their Discord. Lots of ponies won’t want to see you.”
“Say no more,” Discord said, shifting into a human form – though he kept his horn and antler. “Behold, Incognitord.”
Trixie facehooved.
“If you think that’ll work,” Daniel said.
“It’s like wearing-an-eyepatch levels of effectiveness,” Pidge offered.
Renee shot Pidge a look but didn’t comment. “I’ll call Affix. She can serve as a guide to take you to… Wherever that is.”
“Looks like it’s where Nova’s village should be,” Trixie observed. “...We better not have to deal with a ton of ponies with creepy huge smiles.”
“You might,” Renee said. “Hey, Affix? Going to have to call off your trip to Skaia’s Dream. You can do it tomorrow. The Tree of Harmony has decided Equis Winch has a Friendship Problem. It’s probably best if you’re a guide. …Yes I know the ponies are nice, but one of the people it’s sending is Discord.” Renee looked at the phone, blinking. “…She’ll be right over.”
Discord rubbed his hands together. “This is going to be delightful…”
~~~
Roughly an hour later, Corona and Lady Rarity returned to the castle hall. They both looked bruised and battered, despite Corona’s access to healing magic. Most of Lady Rarity’s armor was gone, half her mane was missing, and her coat was covered in bloodstains and mud. Corona’s clothing looked much cleaner, though that was because Raging Sights could just recreate it at will. Her own hair was half as long as it should have been, and half of her right wing was missing.
“…What in Celestia’s name happened to you two?” Renee asked.
Corona took off her red shades and rubbed her eyes. “We had a long week.”
“You said everything was fine!”
“It was,” Lady Rarity said. “The loss of the wing happened an hour ago.”
“I need to go back to Lai to regrow that,” Corona muttered. “Renee, suffice it to say, we stopped the world from destroying itself. Barely. And now we need a break.” She dismounted Lady Rarity and opened a portal to Lai. “So excuse us for a moment.”
“You have until your next mission to give me that report,” Renee reminded them. “Otherwise, enjoy your break.”
The two nodded and stepped through the portal. Corona tried to stretch, but pain shot up her arm. “Ow, sore, ow, ow.”
Lady Rarity took in a deep breath and let out a sigh of relief. “Oh thank the Tower that’s over. I am going home and using that mane regrower and then I’m not coming out of my bubble bath for two days. Maybe three.”
“I would go home, but I need to regrow this wing first.” Corona glanced at her sad half limb. “My lab isn’t exactly set up for this sort of procedure at the moment, so I’ll just use the palace’s facilities. See you in three days.”
Lady Rarity nodded. “And then we begin this cycle anew.”
“Heh. Don’t lie, you enjoy it.”
“I enjoy the parts of it that don’t break my legs every five minutes,” Lady Rarity muttered. “…But yes, you are correct.”
Corona waved – then teleported right to the palace’s medical ward. “Right, need to regrow this wing a-” she blinked.
The doctor was a unicorn skeleton.
“…When did we hire a skeleton?” Corona asked, cocking her head.
“Last week,” he said in a dry, raspy voice. “Have something against skeletons?”
“Uh, no, it just… an undead doctor seems weird.”
“Oh, so if I was a doctor while I was living, I can’t be one after I’ve been brought back as a bag of bones?”
Corona began to sweat. “Er, no, I jus- I’m sorry!”
The skeleton chuckled.
Corona facepalmed. “How many patients do you use that on?”
“Just the ones who’ll get flustered. Name’s Entice Bell. Or just Doctor Bell.” She gestured toward a bed equipped with a grafting machine. The apparatus was tall, rectangular, and had a large hole whose edges glowed with a soft green light. “I take it you’re familiar with the procedure?”
“I’d have to be, I helped make it,” Corona said with a smirk. She lay down flat on her stomach and extended her half-wing into the hole, letting Doctor Bell inject the stump with an anesthetic before he turned the machine on. In the past, the new wing would have needed to be grown separately and grafted on with surgery, but technology had advanced enough to where it was built onto the already existing stump.
“And done,” Doctor Bell said. “I wouldn’t use it heavily for the next few days. If you lose feeling in the new section, come see me immediately. Also you’re not allowed to operate any heavy spells or machinery for the next hour.”
“The anesthetic was that powerful?”
“Can you feel anything in your feet?”
Corona blinked. “Huh. No. …I would ask how I’m still conscious, but Raging Sights is telling me this is a magical anesthetic.”
“Brand new concoction. Numbs up everything but only makes you slightly woozy. Don’t go stubbing your toes either.”
“Can I just cast a clear spell?”
“Sure. Insurance won’t cover injuries after you do though.”
Corona blinked. “…We don’t do the health insurance thing.”
Doctor Bell shook her head. “Joke. Was a joke. Of course I know healthcare is free.”
Corona cleared the anesthetic and stretched her limbs. She was still sore, but she already felt a little better. “Thanks Doc.”
“Don’t mention it.”
Corona decided to walk home rather than teleport. Give her a chance to use her legs in something that wasn’t a life-or-death scenario. She made her way to the front of the palace. This involved passing through the throne room. She could hear voices for a while before she actually arrived – one was Toph, the other a nasally voice she didn’t recognize.
“…and then I said, what about the grub sauce?”
Toph laughed. “You’re vicious.”
“Certain events may have been slightly exaggerated.”
“Slightly? There’s no way the solution was a potato.”
“It was though! Think ab- hold on, someone’s coming.”
Corona walked into the throne room. “Oh, don’t stop on my account, just passing through.”
Toph nudged the troll standing next to her. “I knew she was coming, Terezi.”
Corona examined the troll – one of the few living ones, teal-blood, one of Vriska’s friends if Corona remembered correctly. The blind one who wore the pointy red glasses. Corona decided they weren’t as cool as hers. Then she inwardly chided herself for thinking something so petty.
“Well I didn’t until I smelled her coming down the hallway!”
Toph shrugged. “Corona, this is Terezi. She’s my new legal advisor.”
“Legislacerator,” Terezi corrected.
“The lacerations are few and far between,” Toph reminded her.
“But I still get to do them, right? Right?”
Corona blinked. “Toph, why is your legal advisor out for blood?”
“That’s the attitude you need for convictions!” Terezi answered, raising a fist into the air. “Hehehehehehe!”
Corona thought the laugh sounded more than a little evil. “…Yeah, no, shouldn’t you be devoted to justice rather tha-”
“JUSTICE!” Terezi interrupted. “The sweet finalization of a criminal’s fate! Brought low by the power of the legal system, shown the error of their ways! Given what they deserve-!”
“You seem a little too zealous about this.”
“What? Me?” Terezi pointed at her face, mockingly. “Zealous? Never. It’s not like I spent every waking minute of my young life studying the laws of Alternia! Psh, that’s for crazy trolls.”
Corona raised an eyebrow. “Cut the sarcasm.”
“Oooooh! Someone’s touchy~!” Terezi trilled.
“I just had my wing regrown so, yeah, maybe I’m little touchy!” Corona blurted.
Toph spoke up. “Bad day?”
“Bad week.”
“You look fine to me,” Terezi said.
“Looks can be deceiving,” Corona muttered, pointing at her with an accusatory finger.
“Hey. Hey. Hey firegirl. I’m blind. What looks!?” Her toothy grin widened and she threw her arms wide, clicking her heels on the ground.
Corona lowered her finger. “You’ve got to be able to know where you are somehow.”
“Smell.”
“You’re messing with me,” Corona said.
“She’s actually not, for once,” Toph commented. “All Terezis go by smell. Or taste.”
“I could lick your face to get a better mental image of it!” Terezi chirped. “You know you want to!”
“Thanks, except not really,” Corona muttered.
“Hey, you should accept it when a girl offers to lick your face. It’s considered rude in troll culture to refuse.”
“Oh, it is, i-” Corona realized Terezi was laughing again. “You know what, screw it, I’m leaving.” Corona walked toward the front door.
“And Terezi is victorious! The crowd goes wild as the angel walks away in disgrace, unable to match wits with the legislacerator extraordinaire!”
Corona fumed.
“Hehehehehehehehe~!”
The laugh did it. Corona whirled around, twitching. “What is your deal?”
“I’m a troll. It’s in the name. Sorry you didn’t get the memo.”
“That was, I, jus…” Corona lit her horn and teleported away.
Toph sighed. “Terezi…”
“That was a lot easier than expected,” Terezi observed. “Huh. Sweet.”
Toph facepalmed.
~~~
“The history of Equis Winch is simple,” Affix said, ignoring the fact that Trixie couldn’t stop staring at her facial scar. “Discord showed up one day. He ruined everything and killed a lot of ponies. When we killed him, his chaos magic remained, drifting across the land without ever really dissipating. Case in point…” She gestured at a flying pig surrounded by a swarm of flies that were slowly draining it of blood.
“Ech,” Discord said in revulsion, leaning his human form back further than should have been physically possible. “Why are there versions of me that have to be so grotesque?”
“I was very surprised to learn most of you weren’t,” Affix admitted. “Considering how much horror our Discord unleashed on all of us, making sure to scar us for life even in his defeat…” She slapped herself in the face. “Bah, look at me, getting negative-nostalgia. Basically the need-to-know is this: don’t let them know you’re Discord. They will drive you out and it will ruin whatever ‘Friendship Problem’ you have to deal with. They’re also untrusting of strong magic, even if you use it to fix a chaotic problem. And above all else, don’t mention Celestia or Luna, even via swearing. I might do that, but that’s because I don’t care about societal constructs.”
“They’re gone, aren’t they?” Trixie said.
“Turned to stone,” Affix said. “You Merodi tried to bring Cadence back, but when you did she tried to kill everything she touched. Apparently if you aren’t already mad getting turned to stone does things to your head.”
“Or this Discord was just needlessly cruel,” Discord said, sliding in front of Affix.
“Don’t play naive with me, I know what you did on Equis Vitis. You’re certainly no monster but you know how to be needlessly cruel. Right now you’re basically just a prick.”
Trixie laughed. “You can say that again.”
Discord narrowed his eyes at Affix. “I don’t think she likes me, Trixie.”
“Who do-” Trixie caught herself. “Wait, she was serious? …Great Cel-” She put a hoof in front of her face. “I can see this is going to be a great day.”
Affix rolled her eyes. “You two would be so doomed without me. No, Discord, I am not a fan of you or most of your self-absorbed asshole variations. But hey, at least we don’t have to try to kill each other, isn’t that a plus?”
Discord folded his arms and muttered. “In certain circumstances.”
“Certain? Please elaborate, dear draconequus. I’d like to hear this.”
“You’ve done it now,” Trixie muttered.
Discord snapped his fingers and suddenly both Trixie and Affix were standing in a grade school classroom. Discord tapped chalk against the whiteboard. “Let’s see here, you said that not needing to fight to the death is a plus. But what if I was evil? What if you were evil? What if there was some deep, personal conflict that could only be resolved through a duel to the death? Or an ancient temple’s curse wh-”
“I get the damn point,” Affix muttered. “You can think of elaborate exceptions. Can we just move on so I don’t have to see your smug face again, hm?”
“This isn’t my smug face,” Discord said with a smirk. “This is a mask worn to protect the innocent.”
“Hah,” Affix snorted. “You, protecting the innocent? That’s a laugh!”
Discord appeared behind Affix and ran his finger across her face. “My dear Affix, I’ve been a knight in shining armor on ma-”
Affix’s eyes flashed with the light of the Element of Generosity. She summoned a needle of power and drove it into Discord’s arm, forcing him not only to drop his disguise for a moment, but also to lose the fake schoolhouse. “…What?”
“I did mention that we killed Discord, right?” Affix said. “Don’t touch me.”
Discord returned to his false human form, gulping. “Message received…”
“Okaaaaaay,” Trixie said. “I get it, you’re uptight and have a bit of a history with chaos magic. But could you tone it down a bit so we don’t end up in mortal danger because of you, mmkay?”
Affix bristled. “Yes, yes, I see, I see. After all, it’s in my best interests to help my world with a Friendship Problem! Haha.”
Discord sighed. “Can we just go now?”
“Yes, by all means.”
Discord snapped his fingers and they were all suddenly on a ridge made out of lime zest that overlooked a normal desert. They looked down at a town with a few dozen houses built around a central fountain, stretching out in eight directions.
“Well, it’s not an equals sign,” Trixie said. “That’s good news.”
“If everyone’s cutie marks are eight-pointed stars I’m going to turn the place upside down,” Discord muttered.
Affix said nothing.
The three of them walked down a dirt path into town. They did not receive the creepy “WELCOME!” that most Starlight Villages had, but instead got normal, friendly waves from ponies with a seemingly normal variety of cutie marks.
“And the chance at finding the Friendship Problem quickly has just fallen like an anvil,” Trixie muttered. “Everyone’s happy.”
“You simply haven’t looked yet!” Discord pointed out.
“I know how to look! I just don’t like to.”
“What was the Tree thinking sending two egocentric maniacs…?” Affix asked nobody in particular.
“Ahem,” Trixie said. “The correct insult is ‘self-absorbed illusionist.’ Or you could just go with ‘internet celebrity who doesn’t understand the meaning of work’, but that’s a bit rambly and ‘pedestrian’.”
Affix bristled, but she didn’t get to retort because a version of Starlight poked her head out of a nearby house. “Oooh! Visitors!” She ran out of her home, revealing herself to be wearing a flowing black cloak and a witch hat with a gold buckle around the base. “Hi! I’m Starlight, but I bet you already know that~!”
Trixie blinked. “Uh, hi! I’m Trixie.”
“You’re chipper,” Discord observed.
“Oh, I just like ponies!” Starlight said. “And people! People are nice too! And Rarity, nopony could ever mistake you for anyone else beca- oh I’m sorry that was rude of me a-”
“Shush,” Affix said, raising a hoof. “It’s Affix now, since I work for Expeditions.”
“Oh that’s cool! What kind of things do you see!?”
“Stuff you could if you left this town.”
Starlight blinked. “Huh? Oh I don’t live here, I’m a traveling… magician. Always jumping from one town to the next looking for adventure!”
“Oh, I’m a traveling magician too!” Trixie grinned. “The Great and Powerful Trixie! I also do stuff on the Internet, but that’s more of a side thing.”
“She’s not that kind of magician,” Affix muttered. “Nor is she the type she’s trying to make you think she is.”
“W-what?” Starlight said, suddenly nervous. “No, I’m just your regular run of the mill wizard! No secrets here!”
“Look, Starlight,” Affix sighed. “I’ve come to accept that your kind are a fact of life. You don’t have to keep making a fool of yourself.”
Starlight looked at the ground, sagging.
“…What is she?” Trixie asked.
“Chaos mage,” Affix said. “Unicorns figured out how to bend Discord’s remnants rather quickly. She’s probably ‘traveling’ because she gets kicked out of every town she goes to.”
“Shhh-!” Starlight said. “I like this place!”
“Nobody heard us, dear,” Affix assured her. “Your secret’s safe with us assuming tall and ugly here doesn’t blab.”
“I don’t blab!” Discord blurted.
“…Uh, thanks!” Starlight said, looking up at Discord. “I don’t think I caught your name…”
“Dominique,” Discord said, bowing. “But you can just call me Dom. I am a bit of a magician myself, though you’d hardly consider my tricks standard fare.”
“No kidding,” Trixie said under her breath. “Aaaaaanyway, we’re on business here from Equis Vitis. Apparently there’s a Friendship Problem in this town that needs fixing?”
“Oh, you wouldn’t want to talk to me for that,” Starlight said. “You’d want to talk to Altar! He runs this place. I personally think he’s not all there in the head, but y’know what age does to ponies.”
“Has he taken the serum?” Trixie asked.
“Nope. Says it’s ‘unholy’ and the ‘blight of all that is proper in life’.” Starlight rolled her eyes. “His house is this way, come on.” She led them across town to a house that looked no different to all the others, except perhaps older than average. She knocked, discovering the door was already open. “Uh... Hello? Altar?”
“Bah, come on in!” he called with an old, raspy voice. “It better be good though!”
“Do visitors from Equis Vitis and our Element of Generosity count?”
“…Yes.”
Starlight led them into the living room. Altar sat in a chair, alone, where a tall white hat with ornate golden designs on it drew everyone’s attention to his head. He was a white unicorn who had no visible coloration and wore a cloak that covered most of his body. “Ah, visitors. A-” He stared right at Discord. “Holy end times…”
Affix facehooved. “All right, secret’s out. Altar, listen to me very closely, do not go-”
“A Discord has come to our town!” the stallion shouted in delight, not fear. “EVERYPONY! A DISCORD HAS COME TO OUR TOWN! ALL OUR TROUBLES ARE OVER!”
He ran out of the house, screaming at the top of his lungs.
Affix stared at where he had just been in disbelief. Starlight stared at Discord in disbelief. “A Discord?”
Discord shrugged, dropping the human disguise. “At your service, my witch.”
Starlight’s eyes glistened. “Yes… Wait, hold on a second, why in Tartarus did Altar…?”
“We might be in the middle of a chaos town,” Affix muttered, glancing through the blinds at the people Altar was rallying. “This… could be a problem.”
“I was in a chaos town and didn’t know it!?” Starlight blurted. “How in… Actually, you know what, it is kind of odd the buildings are arranged in the symbol… Huh. Can’t believe I didn’t notice that.”
“If Starlight here is fine, what’s wrong with an entire town?” Trixie asked.
“There’s a difference between a Discord cult and a Discordian mage,” Affix said. “Those like Starlight hate Discord just like the rest of us, but find his magic useful. A cult… Let’s just say they worship destruction.”
“But the ponies here are so nice…” Starlight said. “Hardly seem destructive at all…”
“Which is why I’m confused,” Affix said. “Nothing about this seems right.”
“Perhaps I can be of help?”
The four of them turned around to see the Doctor leaning on his TARDIS, eating, of all things, a carrot.
Discord took the moment to start laughing. “Does anyone else want to show up and throw everything on its head again?”
“Yes,” a powerful voice said. Everyone looked up to see a yellow pegasus hiding in the ceiling. She wore pointed metal boots, had razor metal tips on her wings, and wore a blindfold over her eyes. Given the size of pony eyes, it was easy to tell the blindfold was hiding empty sockets. She drifted to the ground. “Hello.”
“…Flair?” Affix said, blinking. “But y-you’re…”
“Alive,” Flair said. “And pissed off. How could you, Affix? How could you stand to be in the same room as him!?” She shouted, pointing one of her razor-tipped wings at Discord.
“Now now, let’s all calm down,” the Doctor said. “There’s a lot more going on here than a simple misunde-”
“Shut up,” Flair ordered. She Stared at the Doctor, despite not having eyes.
He complied.
Trixie gaped at Flair. “W-what are you?”
“A shattered Element,” was all she had to say.
~~~
Corona managed to take a shower before she started feeling horrible. She’d flown off the handle at Terezi, all because of a simple joke.
Even though I was in a bad mood, it doesn’t matter. That was still wrong.
She sighed. Instead of taking a nap for eternity, she teleported back to the throne room of the castle.
“Hey, Toph,” Corona asked the Queen after checking to make sure she was alone. “Where’s Terezi?”
“She just walked down that hall. Why?”
Corona sighed. “I was short with her. It’s been bugging me.”
Toph smiled. “You’re not as tough as you claim to be.”
“Neither are you.” Corona walked away from Toph and down the palace hall to catch up with Terezi. “Hey!”
“Hey what?” Terezi said, not turning around.
Don’t worry about it, she’s just blind, she doesn’t have to look at you to talk to you. She might not be indicating what you think. Corona teleported in front of her. “Hey, I uh, just wanted to apologize for how I stormed out earlier. I think we’ve gotten off on the wrong foo-”
“Wow, you came back to apologize? After storming off like that? Jegus, I thought you had some fire in you, but that’s apparently a lie!”
Corona blinked. “…What?”
“See, look at you groveling. Who grovels to anyone? You, apparently. Did I hurt your feelings?”
“I mean, not really, I just got upset. I wasn’t treating you we-”
“Oh, so it’s me you were worried about? Ha! Spare me your overblown ego. I’m touched, really I am, maybe we should go on a date! Clearly you’ve done half the work already!”
Corona twitched. “…What the heck is your problem?”
“Ooh, swear substitutes. So jarring. Fucking brilliant.”
“A clever person doesn’t need swearing to get their point across.”
“Substituting isn’t clever! It’s just what you say to avoid upsetting your mommy!”
Corona lit her fist on fire, ready to punch Terezi down. Then she realized what she was doing. She let her arm hang limp, shame crossing her features.
“What’s wrong? Can’t punch the blind girl? Ca-”
Corona teleported away.
~~~
Starlight inserted herself between Flair and Affix. “Hey, sorry to insert myself between two giants of recent history like this but can we hold the interpersonal argume-”
Flair slapped Starlight to the side, glaring.
“Hey hey hey, no need to get all upset here, but I was just going to say Altar’s bringing a mob of fanatics back and we might not want to be here in about twenty seconds.”
“I’ve got it!” Discord declared. “Come on Starlight, you get to be my acolyte!”
“Wait wh-”
“Distraction mode: ACTIVATE!”
Trixie held out a hoof. “Discord, no, remember what happened last time y-” He teleported himself and Starlight out into the adoring crowd. “And he’s gone! Absolutely wonderful.”
“It’s better if he’s not here,” Flair said distastefully. “I was this close to gutting him open on the spot.”
“Flair!” Affix gasped. “What happened to you?”
“Sorta died, sorta didn’t, that’s not the point,” Flair spat. “The point is that you being here – all of you being here – is ruining what I’m doing.”
The Doctor took a step forward. “And what exactly is that?”
“This town is a chaos cult. I’m getting rid of it. Or did you think I was just hanging out up there?”
Affix blinked. “You can’t be suggesting you were going to kill him? Flair, it took forever to convince you there was no other option with Discord!”
“And I’ve come to realize that Piè and Areo were right all along.”
Affix looked her up and down, unsure of how to respond.
“Clearly we can’t just let her kill everyone,” Trixie said.
Flair pointed her face right at Trixie, prompting a terrified ‘eep’ to escape the unicorn’s mouth.
Before she could take back what she said, the Doctor placed himself between Flair and Trixie. “She’s right. You don’t solve problems by killing, you just create new ones.”
“It’s usually a pretty final solution,” Flair barked.
“I clearly can’t change your mind of that. But like I was about to say before I was so rudely interrupted a ways back, I’ve just come from a few hours in the future. Where there is no planet here. Something reduced it to rubble. The chance isn’t zero that your actions bring that about.”
“But we’re here now,” Trixie pointed out. “Dimensional travel negates time, right?”
“That’d only be true if you arrived after I went back in time. As it is, I arrived after you, so we’re still on the same timeline. The only thing different right now between the timeline where everything explodes and the one we’re currently in is me and the things I’m telling you.”
Flair shook her head. “I… fail?”
“Or caused it,” the Doctor said. “So let’s not be rash.”
“All of you shut up and take a minute to listen to what’s going on outside,” Affix interrupted.
The three of them fell silent and turned their gaze to the window while Flair’s ears rose to full attention, swiveling to maximize her sense of what was happening outside.
Discord and Starlight were talking to the crowd.
“I know, I know you’re all ready to adore me, but I have to make some checks!” Discord said, waving his hand. “You see, I hear stories of a brutal, horrible Discord of this world!”
He must have sent Starlight a message telepathically, because she broke out into a slightly oversized grin. “The marrer of the Elements! The tormentor of the land! The petrifier of celestials! The destroyer of Manehattan!”
“You all know of these feats, yes?” Discord said. The townspeople – Altar included – nodded. “And do you all know for sure I am not that Discord?”
“We are a society devoted to order within chaos,” Altar answered. “Not pure chaos that has no direction. Chaos has a purpose, and all Discords of the multiverse are different aspects of this purpose. We seek not our Discord, but all Discords.”
Discord grinned. “Well aren’t you in luck. I’m the Discord of Equis Vitis! You could consider me one of the ‘baseline’ Discords, if you will.”
The crowd erupted into loud, excited cheering at this revelation from their chaotic serpent.
Starlight blurted out words again. “Let us turn away from the ways of destruction, death, and delirium. There is a chaos fit for all! There is a chaos of enjoyment! The eight directions are all one, in the end!”
“As my acolyte has spoken,” Discord continued, placing a gentle hand on Starlight’s shoulder, “we are here to bring about change, if you are willing to accept it.”
The crowd cheered and threw flowers on top of Discord.
“Great, he’s letting them worship him,” Trixie muttered. “Don’t know what I was expecting.”
The Doctor narrowed his eyes. “I don’t think that’s what he’s doing… You’re here on a Friendship Problem, right?”
Trixie nodded. “Uh, yeah.”
“I think he’s trying to solve it. Using Starlight as a source of knowledge to improve his authority.”
“And trying to save this town is probably what destroys everything!” Flair blurted.
“We can’t know that for sure!” Affix blurted. “All I know is that he has them eating out of his claws and not killing everyone. Keeps me from having to blow everything up, which is… I don’t want to say ‘nice’, but more ‘preferable’.”
“We can’t just let him do what he wants,” Flair declared. “Both of you need to leave.”
Trixie raised an eyebrow. “There has never been a failed Friendship Problem. We aren’t going anywhere. And, for all we know, the problem is actually you and not the town! You seem to have forgotten what Friendship means.”
Flair put one of her wingtips to Trixie’s neck. “For someone so cowardly you spout quite the accusations…”
“She has a point,” Affix said. “I don’t like this Discord, but I understand he’s just a prick, not a monster.”
“Which is why he isn’t already dead,” Flair pointed out.
“Do you really think you could kill a Discord alone!?”
Flair didn’t respond.
“Ponyfeathers,” Trixie muttered. “Discord’s taking them away.”
“Then we’re going to follow them,” Affix asserted
~~~
“I don’t know what it is? Does she just not like me? Does she view me as a threat? Am I taking things too seriously?”
Lady Rarity sighed. She was currently in her bubble bath soaking every sore spot on her body, with only her head above the froth, cucumber slices on her eyes. Corona was sitting on the nearby counter, looking out the bathroom window with a confused expression. “I do think you are taking it too seriously. She’s just living up to the name of her race. A troll, as it were.”
“I didn’t think it was literal.”
“Have you met Vriska?”
Corona let out a sharp laugh. “Yeah, but she’s not this bad. And Aradia’s not like that at all, I don’t get what the deal is. But she is a ‘troll’. I’m ninety percent sure she just wanted to get under my skin. For the life of me I can’t figure out why.”
“Some people just like to do that, dear.”
“And work that closely with Toph?” Corona muttered, leaning into her hands. “I just don’t get it, and that’s supposed to be my thing. I’m supposed to get people, to empathize with them.”
Lady Rarity levitated the cucumbers off her eyes, looking at Corona. “Didn’t you used to be the antagonizing bully?”
“I was angry, spiteful, and lashing out. I don’t see that in her. She seems happy, but then again some people are good at masking what’s really behind their outward appearance…” She narrowed her eyes.
Lady Rarity uncorked the bath.
“What are you doing? I said I wasn’t going to get you out of y-”
“Clearly, you need a friend at your side and a second voice in your head that isn’t just a crystal with about zero social skills. No offense, RS.”
Raging Sights beeped in annoyance.
“Rarity…”
“Oh, it’s fine darling, I’ve been in this bath for several hours already.” She climbed out and dried herself off with a magically-warmed towel, beginning the process of steaming herself dry.
“I mean, thanks, but what are we going to do? Walk up to her and talk to her?”
“Oh, no, we’re going to talk to Toph first,” Lady Rarity said. “She’s clearly been around this Terezi a little more than you or I have. Let’s get some lay of the land, as it were. She must see something in her if she lets her be an advisor.”
“…Maybe I was just jealous that moment when I walked in? Did that set her off?”
Lady Rarity facehoofed. “Corona, stop second guessing yourself. Okay? Let’s wipe the slate clean.”
“Terezi didn’t seem to like that…”
“Armonia’s hair, you’ve really twisted this around in that little mind of yours…” Lady Rarity shook her head. With a quick spell she adjusted her mane back to the way it should be. “I’ll forego the armor today, just a routine visit. Teleport away.”
Corona did. They appeared in the throne room at Toph’s side. She appeared to be wrapping up a conversation with… no-one.
Corona blinked.
“Protomolecule,” Toph said. “Can’t see him. Sure can hear him though. Give me a minute. …Yes, I know you want to introduce your globes to Lai, but the people aren’t going to accept that. Besides the Gems, we are the most uptight of the founding worlds. I’m sorry. …Thank you for understanding.” She leaned back in her throne. “All right, he’s gone.”
“So weird…” Lady Rarity commented.
“Yep. So, friend-os, what’s up?”
“…Are you trying to sound cool?” Corona asked.
“Just answer the question.”
Lady Rarity spoke up. “Corona here has developed a mild complex concerning your newest legal advisor, one ‘Terezi’.”
“Oh. Her. She really got under your skin that bad?”
Corona scratched the back of her head. “Well…”
“Yes. Yes she did,” Lady Rarity answered. “I got my bath interrupted to be a counselor. We’re here to find out what you think about her.”
Toph nodded. “She was overqualified for the position, and I needed a new one since I found out Lancer was beyond corrupt. She came highly recommended from Earth C having studied troll, human, and carapacian law while also writing everything for the consort government. So that’s why I hired her. Kept her around because I found her observations amusing.”
“And her antagonism?”
“I think she just likes messing with people,” Toph said, putting her hands behind her head. “She does it to everyone she meets. Even me, at first. But since I was able to handle it, I think I gained her respect.”
“So basically it’s hopeless,” Corona said, sighing. “I failed her little test, now we’re doomed to be on the wrong foot?”
“I wouldn’t say so,” Toph said. “I think she just views you as easy pickings right now. It’ll pass.”
Lady Rarity furrowed her brow. “Corona went to apologize and make up for getting angry.”
“Didn’t go well?”
“No,” Corona said. “She basically said it was a sign of weakness and childish.”
Toph paused. “Huh. That’s… a little strong.”
“A little!? I went out of my way to patch things up and I basically got shot for it!”
“I don’t know what to tell you,” Toph admitted. “I don’t really know her that well, evidently. You’d have to talk to Vriska.”
“Why?”
“They were best friends at one point, or so Terezi told me.”
“Next stop: Earth C,” Lady Rarity declared. “Thanks Toph.”
“Anytime.”
~~~
Trixie, Flair, Affix, and the Doctor poked their heads around a corner in the village. They saw Discord moving with the mob of adoring ponies through town.
“Lesson three!” Discord began.
“Heed the words of the chaos incarnate!” Starlight blurted.
Discord looked at her in annoyance. She was overselling it a little. “Chaos is meant to bring about fun and enjoyment.” He summoned a dancing cricket set in a conga line with seventeen other bugs of differing species. “Pure chaos with no thought, no form, is just boring. That, my friends, is a little concept called entropy. Dreadful, really. Entire universes die because the matter decides it can’t get along anymore and poof, nothing. This ‘chaos’ leads to nothing, one of the least chaotic things in existence.”
Altar nodded. “Wise words.”
“Ah, but there’s more, my ritualistic friend! See, chaos with a bit of imagination can branch to several things. There’s the chaos of collapse, for instance.” He created another house in an empty part of town between two lines of buildings, and brought it down. “Societies, tribes, that waffle house down the block that you love so much, all these things are destroyed by this chaos. That doesn’t seem right does it?”
The various ponies all shook their heads.
“But perhaps the chaos of war is the answer! Strife! Build up war machines and throw everyone against each other!” He snapped his fingers, creating two squads of red and blue clay people. They smashed into each other, creating purple sludge. “But you can’t keep that going forever. Eventually something has to give, leaving us with poor boring entropy again.” He shook his head. “Oh woe is us, for we cannot find the answer!”
“What was our Discord doing?” a mare asked.
“A variety of war,” Discord answered. “Only he thought ‘I can fight a war all by myself against existence for eternity’! Quite dull for a version of me, I must say.”
“But he didn’t know that no war could last forever,” Starlight interjected. “His plans did not truly serve chaos! He brought down dozens of waffle houses when he leveled the Northern Wastes. He turned the Griffons and Dragons against each other, turning them to the purple sludge!”
“And what of you?” Altar asked. “What do you call your chaos?”
“The chaos of delight!” Discord said, spreading his arms wide. He snapped with one hand, creating a white and orange shape with a flower growing out of it. “See that? That is random chaos. Vaguely interesting to look at but ultimately pointless and boring. On the other hand…” He snapped with his other hand, crating a pink rabbit that yodeled, every word he spoke creating a bubble of a different color around him. He proceeded to explode into a shower of candies of many exotic flavors, most of which couldn’t be said to ‘exist’ in the traditional sense.
The ponies scrambled for them.
“Huh,” Starlight said under her breath. “Nice to know my magic doesn’t have to look absolutely terrifying.”
Discord snaked behind her. “You just have to add some creativity. Pointless cruelty is a rather boring endeavor.”
“Hey, wait a minute,” a stallion said, looking at the candy in his hooves. “I heard our Discord used monsters made of candies to lure ponies into his traps. That certainly seems creative to me!”
Discord glared at him. “What are you suggesting?”
The stallion shifted uncomfortably. “What if he was creative?”
“If he did find a way to perpetuate the cruelty through creativity, it would have robbed him of something else. What would your fellow ponies think of you if you started laying traps for their kids?”
The stallion nodded. “I see.”
“Wise words,” Altar said. “In the end, even chaos respects the community.”
“Ring a ding!” Discord said, creating a large bell behind Altar to punctuate his thought. “You get a cookie.” He created a pony-sized cookie and gave it to Altar.
From her observation point, Trixie gawked. “I can’t believe it. He actually learned his lesson last time. He’s teaching them.”
“He’s still pretending to be worthy of their praise,” the Doctor muttered.
“Oh, that’s because he believes he is.” Trixie rolled her eyes. “Seems to be working like a charm on them.” Trixie smirked. “He’s learned a lot from our little shows, too.”
Affix raised an eyebrow. “How is stage magic helpful here?”
“Misdirection,” Trixie said. “There’s also a lot of pretending you know what you’re talking about, or saying things with absolute certainty even if you’re unsure. He’s leading Starlight along really well for a clueless audience assistant. She provides context for his teachings so they’ll sink in better…”
“He is smarter than I gave him credit for,” Affix admitted.
“Yeah, the art of misdirection is one you don’t see unless you’re looking… for… it…” Trixie blinked.
It looked like everyone was following Discord through the town. Discord himself probably thought so. But Trixie saw Altar moving himself to the front of the crowd, gesturing with his staff and hooves in subliminal ways to draw attention. They were heading for a house at the edge of town, she deduced.
She narrowed her eyes. “Altar’s up to something.”
The Doctor turned to her. “…Misdirection?”
“Really good too,” Trixie said. “Makes me jealous. Leading an entire crowd of people along and they don’t even realize it.”
“Where are they headed?” Flair asked.
“Th-” Trixie stopped herself. “You’re just going to do something angry, aren’t you?”
Flair put a wing blade to Trixie’s neck. “Where are they going?”
“Flair, she has a-” Affix got another wing blade placed to her throat for her trouble.
Trixie laughed nervously. “O-okay! Okay! They’re going to that green house over there!”
Flair nodded, taking off to investigate. The crowd didn’t notice her move.
“Trixie…” the Doctor said.
“That was a lie,” Trixie said smirking. “You forget Trixie knows a thing or two about performing. Now, the moment she realizes they aren’t going to that house – no idea how long that’ll take since she’s blind – she’s going to be out for blood. Let’s hurry to the place they’re actually going.”
“I’ll watch them,” Affix said. “…Distract Flair if I see her about to do something crazy.”
The Doctor nodded. He and Trixie walked along the other side of the houses so the crowd wouldn’t see them, arriving at the last house quickly. Trixie lit her horn. “Right, so, I’ve never been good at sensing…”
“Tremendous magical presence in the basement,” the Doctor said, looking at his sonic screwdriver. “Hidden behind a scrying field. Curious. Can’t beat the Time Lords when they want to find something, unfortunately for mister Altar.”
Trixie unlocked the front door with her magic. There was nopony inside. They quickly moved to the basement.
The basement was stone, mostly square in shape, and held only one thing – a box at the far corner, stained red. A design was painted into the floor with blood: eight arrows coming out of a single point; four pointing at the corners, four at the edges of the walls. More intricate rings spiraled out from these eight points, and black charcoal was smeared in the center.
The Doctor put his hand behind his head. “This is quite the ritual here…”
“I have no idea what it does,” Trixie said.
“Same.”
“Let’s ruin it.” Trixie reached into her pouch and took out some bombs she had stolen from Affix earlier. She told herself Affix wouldn’t mind at the time. Now she was sure Affix wouldn’t mind.
She threw the bomb. A black claw shot out from the center of the design, grabbing the bomb and disintegrating it.
Then it went for the two of them.
Trixie and the Doctor bolted up the stairs, only to find Altar standing there.
“Now now, my master, no need to kill them… They may prove useful.”
The black claw closed around the Doctor – but didn’t crush him. A second claw grabbed Trixie, treating her with a strange gentleness.
The top of the crate popped open, revealing the corpses of three ponies – an earth pony, a pegasus, and a unicorn. All of their blood had been completely drained. The Doctor and Trixie were thrown in with them.
As an afterthought, the claw took the sonic screwdriver as well.
Trixie managed not to scream at being so close to pony corpses. She just inwardly whined.
“Not much longer now, my master…” Altar breathed.
~~~
Vriska answered her front door, a grumpy expression on her face. “I told you telemarketers to stop coming to th- oh. Corona?”
Corona nodded. “Yeah. It’s me.” Lady Rarity waved from behind her. “So, I’ve come to ask you about Terezi.”
“She trolling you?” Vriska asked, drinking her evening coffee.
“Yeah.”
Vriska sighed. “That was always her thing. She was the only one of us who really got under the humans’ skin. She made it look easy. Karkat and I had our moments, but she was able to mess with everyone. And she’d tell them she was doing it!”
“…So it really is just her being abrasive?”
“Hey, you haven’t explained jack shit yet,” Vriska said. “It’s just when I hear the words ‘I’ve come to ask about Terezi’ there are a few conclusions I jump to.” She looked down at her cup, a sour expression crossing her face. “I expect this is probably going to culminate in me and Aradia having a ‘talk’ with her.”
“Do you know why she’s that way?” Corona asked.
Vriska leaned against her doorway. “What way?”
Lady Rarity cleared her throat. “Antagonistic, sadistic, petty, etcetera?”
“Sadism is pretty much ingrained into Alternian culture,” Vriska said. “Me more than others, but she and I were a duo. I fed trolls to a giant spider. She dreamed of one day hanging criminals by the thousand.”
“Yeesh,” Lady Rarity said.
“Oh yeah, Alternia was messed up. Did I ever tell you of the eldritch abomination Feferi had as a guardian? So terrifying not even big bad Condesce would dare to touch it.”
“So she’s just that way because her culture made her that way?” Corona asked.
“I mean…” Vriska furrowed her brow. “You know what, just show me.”
“Huh?”
“Put your freaky emotion-hand to my head and show me. I’ll let you in.”
Corona nodded, dissipating one of her gloves. She placed her fingers to Vriska’s head, thinking deeply about her recent experiences with Terezi.
In return, she got Vriska’s thoughts of Terezi when they were younger.
An image of Terezi and Vriska laughing over Aradia and a bronze-blood troll – Tavros, if Corona remembered correctly.
An image of Terezi and Vriska having great fun crafting roleplaying adventures.
An image of Vriska’s eye getting blown up and Terezi’s eyes being scorched by Alternia’s sun, both results of the others’ attacks on each other.
Images of them fighting, warring – culminating in an image of Terezi stabbing Vriska through the chest for Justice.
…Stabbing Omega Vriska through the chest. The real Terezi went on to plan the final battle with Vriska. But they fought separately.
Vriska pulled back. “Holy fuck, she’s not acting normal.”
“Wait, what?” Corona blinked. “I thought-”
“The initial meeting was her being herself,” Vriska said, stepping out of her home and locking the door. “That thing where you went back to make up? She knows about how humans work. She should anyway.” She snapped her fingers. “Let’s roll, she needs a good talking to.”
Lady Rarity blinked. She opened a portal to Lai and the three of them stepped through.
“Get on with the teleporty,” Vriska muttered. Corona obliged, and they were in the throne room again. Toph and Terezi were talking.
“And then I sai-” Terezi smelled their presence. “Fuck.”
“Fuck indeed,” Vriska said.
Terezi whirled to face them and clicked her heels – even though she didn’t actually look at any of them. “Did the Light players come to congregate? Oh wait, you’re not Light. You’re Doom trying to be Light!”
“Terezi, shut the fuck up,” Vriska said, folding her arms. “Humans can’t do kismesis. It doesn’t work.”
“…She was hitting on me?!” Corona blurted.
“Yeah. Pretty badly too,” Vriska said, putting a hand to her forehead.
Terezi glared at Vriska. “Vriska! Come on, you’ve ruined i-”
“Humans can’t do it,” Vriska said. “They can’t experience quite the same emotion. They can have hate, yes, but not a hate so strong and intricate that it could serve as a completion. I’ve been out here a long time, Terezi. I’ve just had to live with not having one. Which is completely fine since kismesis is overrated.”
“Oh, and you’d know, because you’ve actually had one, right? Oh wait, nope. Such an expert.”
Vriska folded her arms. “Lemme guess. You’ve seen what Omega Terezi had.”
“Seer of Mind, duh, course I did! I never got to experience that!”
“I saved you a lot of heartache by stopping that!”
“There was a lot more to it than the end result!”
“Ungrateful bitch!”
“Oh, and have we all forgotten how I basically erased myself to make you live?”
“You aren’t Omega Terezi! You’re Terezi. Stop mixing up your memories!”
Terezi frowned. “I can do what I want.”
Vriska opened her mouth to argue – then she sighed. “Loo-”
“Look at the Thief of Light, the spiderbitch, brought so low,” Terezi said. “At least when you were fucking horrible you had a spine.”
Vriska let a sad smile come to her face. “That’s a handy defense mechanism you got there.”
“It’s not a-”
“Shout insults at people until they leave you alone so they won’t expose your weaknesses. A pretty good one. Totally not worth it.”
“Why do you have to be so gogdammed mature now!?”
“Because someone has to be,” Vriska said. “Terezi… Do you have anyone?”
Terezi shuffled her feet, quietly.
“Cadence can help you with a matesprit. Eve for a moirail. Hell, I could even introduce you to some people.”
“Would people stop fucking offering to help!?”
Corona looked at Terezi with sad eyes. “…That’s what friends are supposed to do, Terezi. Help.”
Terezi pointed a trembling finger at Vriska – then dropped it. “Fine, fine, fine, fine, FINE! You’re right! Happy?”
“More than I should be,” Vriska said, walking up to her friend. Then she pulled her into a hug.
“AKPTH!”
“Stop whining and accept the display of affection, dweeb.”
Terezi stopped struggling and just sighed.
“I’ll be taking her now,” Vriska said, turning to the rest of them. “Dunno how long this is gonna take, but I think all the trolls need to have a serious ‘culture’ get-together. Talk some things out so we don’t fuck up like this.”
Toph nodded. “Do what you need.”
Vriska took out her dimensional device and the two of them were gone.
“…Right,” Corona said. “Still not sure how I feel about this whole thing.”
Lady Rarity shrugged. “You should probably feel flattered, I’m guessing.”
“Now I’m bothered in a whole new way.”
“Are you going to feel guilty and lose sleep over it?”
“…Well, not guilty…”
“Then my work here is done. There is a sequel to a bubble bath I need to experience.” She skittered away.
Corona put a hand to her forehead. “Just when I think I’ve got people figured out…”
Toph shrugged, having nothing to say.
“…I’m going to try to get that relaxing in now.”
“Seems like a good idea.”
~~~
Altar smiled. “Ah, it appears we have made our way to one of our abandoned homes…”
The townspeople looked sad and depressed.
Discord blinked. “Wh-”
Starlight talked over him. “The disappearances of your three very close neighbors is certainly a tragedy.”
Discord nodded sadly. “Not the work of creative chaos. Just pained disorder.”
“Perhaps you can do something about that?” Altar asked. “Return our ponies to us?”
“Hrm…” Discord furrowed his brow. “I’d have to have a connection to them. But they were already gone when I arrived.”
“Certainly you can garner a connection from the house one of our ponies lived in?”
Discord glanced at Starlight. Can you get me a connection?
Yep. Don’t worry.
Discord grinned. “Do we have permission to enter?”
Altar bowed his head. “All do.”
They filed into the house, Discord, Starlight, and Altar at the center. Starlight got the connection quickly.
“Return to us our lost brother,” Altar said, bowing his head to the ground. “Please, your discordance.”
Discord prepared to snap his fingers – but then his phone rang. He sighed. “Ugh, what horrible timing, who in the worl-
DO NOT USE YOUR MAGIC
-TRIXIE
Discord raised an eyebrow. “Altar, I don’t think you’re being completely honest with me. In fact…” He felt the connection he got from Starlight. “The connection I’ve received leads to this basement. Where I can sense a whole slew of disgust-”
He was interrupted. Dark shadows spiked out of the ground, making the floor cave in, revealing the basement and the markings below. The two largest of the spires had bodies skewered on them. One held the Doctor.
The other held Trixie, pierced through the stomach. The light in her horn died out and her phone fell to the ground.
Discord didn’t think – he just acted. He snapped his fingers, bringing the Doctor and Trixie back to full health and teleporting them off the spires of darkness. But this was exactly what the darkness wanted.
All it took was a discharge of chaotic energy that the darkness could use. Discord felt like a siphon was jammed into his essence, draining him of his power. He shook, falling to the basement below with a horrified expression.
Altar laughed. “Behold! Our master rises once again, here to dispel the false reflection of this imposter with righteous power!”
The darkness in the center of the circle began to form a head. It looked like Discord’s, except mostly black with red highlights. “You are a disgrace to this image.”
Discord laughed through his pain. “Red and black? What are you, Darcord? Seriously, lose the edge a bi-” the pain of ‘Darcord’s’ siphon was too much for him to keep talking. “Yeeesh…”
“I am whatever you want to call me,” Darcord said. “I am essentially a better you. And I will return!”
“HOW ABOUT NO!?” Affix said, glowing with the power of Generosity. She threw a half-dozen bombs down the hole at the shadowy form.
“Your bombs did not affect me then, they will not affect me now!”
“Smokescreen,” Affix declared, rushing through the smoke. Her needles of pure Generosity pierced the dark being’s intangible nature.
Discord may not have been able to use his chaos magic without feeding Darcord more, but he could still move. He thrust himself to Darcord, wrapping around the shadowy head like a snake. His physical form held enough chaotic energy to deter the shadow.
Affix grinned. “Nice.” She created thousands of more needles. “I bet you missed this, didn’t you!?”
Darcord pushed out with chaotic energy from the side. Affix was caught unaware, the power driving through her brain.
She realized as she dropped that she’d been fighting him wrong – she didn’t have her friends to defend her. The needles of Generosity were always best at long range and as a backup attack…
Discord took one look at her. Then he sighed, snapping his fingers. Her wound was healed, but she did not regain consciousness.
Darcord gained a torso from the discharge. “AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Your sentimentality is not your strength, it is your downfall! Now I rise! Stronger than ever!”
Flair flew out of nowhere, brimming with light – light that was supposed to be Kindness. But it was wrong. It sparked unnaturally, giving her body spasms and driving pain into her body.
She didn’t care. It still worked well enough. One hit and everything would be over, just as it had been last time. Her only regret was that she wouldn’t get to see the look on his face this time.
She passed right through him, harmlessly.
“W-what?”
Darcord laughed. “Foolish Fluttershy. A corrupted Element cannot harm me.”
She looked around – and noticed Discord writhing in pain. “It’ll kill him.”
Darcord’s grin vanished.
She leaped for Discord.
“STOP!” Trixie shouted. “DON’T DO IT! HE SAVED US! HE SAVED AFFIX!”
Flair stopped just short of driving every sharp tip on her wings into Discord. “He…”
“WEAK SENTIMENTALITY!” Darcord shouted, rushing Flair with his spires of shadow. She lifted a wing, her corrupted light still managing to deflect his darkness.
“GO FOR ALTAR!” Trixie shouted. “HE’S THE ONE WHO’S MANAGING THIS RITUAL!”
Flair growled. “You can’t know that for sure!”
Starlight didn’t care about that. She fired a laser at Altar – only for Darcord to go out of his way to deflect it. She was sent flying by her own attack through the only remaining window in the house.
“THAT PROOF ENOUGH!?” Trixie shouted.
Flair raised her wing.
Killing Discord or Altar would end this madness. Discord was right here, and he wasn’t fighting. Altar was up there, which would give Darcord a chance to attack and give Altar a chance to defend.
And Discord was Discord. He was everything she stood against. Everything she hunted.
But she owed him.
“Screw it,” Flair blurted, taking off into the air. Darcord fired shadows at her, but her light defended her.
“KILL HER!” Darcord ordered. “THOSE OF YOU WHO CALL YOURSELVES MY SERVANTS, KILL HER!”
“DON’T LISTEN TO HIM!” Starlight shouted, having barely managed to stand back up. “HE WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING!”
Only Altar acted in accordance with Darcord’s wishes, firing magic lasers at Flair.
She just took them. She was made of stern stuff, and the light of Kindness began to stabilize around her. Definitely not enough to take out Darcord… but enough for her to act.
“The Kindest form of violence is an instant, painless death,” Flair said.
It was a line Darcord remembered from just before he had died last time.
“FLUTTERS-”
There were no wounds on Altar. One moment he was alive, and the next he was dead. It was as if Flair’s blades had cut clean through him without breaking the skin. He fell to the ground.
Darcord’s shadowy form dissipated unceremoniously.
“Oh thank Celestia, we’re alive!” Trixie shouted.
She heard shocked gasps from the crowd.
“SCREW YOU! TRIXIE SAVED ALL YOUR PLOTS! SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO WALK OVER A SOCIAL TABOO OUT OF ELATION!”
Affix groaned groggily. “Stop yelling… It’s unbecoming.”
Discord flopped onto his back. “I feel like a raisin…”
Flair landed next to him. “I’ll consider that enough punishment for you being an asshole.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
Starlight coughed. “Behold, the victori-”
“Stop it,” Discord told Starlight. “They won’t be going for that anymore.” He pulled himself out of the hole in the ground so he could see them all. “You see it now, don’t you? That we Discords aren’t really anything special?”
Trixie and Affix gasped.
Flair, for the first time since she arrived, smiled.
Discord continued. “So, now that we’ve gotten that made painfully obvious, how about you, I don’t know, stop being a cult? Hmm? Either find something worthy of your worship or just live like most ponies!”
“…Is all you said about creative chaos a lie then?” a mare asked.
Discord shook his head. “Of course not. I was teaching you, after all. I was just teaching you how I live my life. Which, by the way, is pretty amazing.”
“I can attest!” Trixie said. “Never a dull moment with this nimrod.”
“Then stay,” the mare said, bowing her head. “Stay and teach us, not as an object of worship, but as one who understands.”
Discord shook his head. “Tempting offer, but I’ll pass. Buuuuuut, there is someone who might be able to help you!” He grabbed Starlight and set her down in front of them. “Behold, Starlight! Master of the right chaos!”
“Discord what a-”
Discord snapped his fingers. He gave most of the power he had remaining in himself to Starlight. This prompted her to grow a second horn, sprout mismatched bat and eagle wings, get claws on her front hooves, and shift her eye colors to yellow and red. “What th-”
“It’s only fitting if the leader of chaos had herself thrown into the position chaotically.” Discord chuckled. “Don’t you all agree?”
The townsponies looked at each other, shrugged, and nodded.
“Good.”
It was then that Trixie and Discord started glowing. The Tree of Harmony told them they were done.
“Ha! It was the cult!” Discord said. “I knew it.”
“You still helped us,” Affix said, clinging onto Flair for support. “Thank you.”
“It’s what we do,” Trixie said. “But now our work here is done! WE MUST GO!” Trixie threw a smoke bomb on the ground, perfect timing for a dramatic exit.
They were still there when the smoke cleared.
“You’re supposed to teleport us away,” Trixie hissed.
Discord shrugged. “I’m basically out of magic right now. It’ll be a long while before I’m back to full again.”
Trixie sighed. She glanced outside at the setting sun. “You all wouldn’t happen to have a hotel, would you?”
“Where did you think I was staying?” Starlight asked. “Of course they have a hotel!”
“Ah. Right. Well then, lead the way!”
Everyone cleared out the wreckage of the ritual house.
The Doctor remained, alone.
“…Did I actually do anything?” he asked aloud.
The empty ruins gave no response.
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Poor Doctor, just there to be a magic detector
Ok before i read the newest chapter I want to say sth that has been on my mind for a while now. Sots used to be my favourite story on fimfiction , i used to refresh the page every 10 seconds because i was so exited about the new chapter. Nowadays i'm just like: "oh a new chapter has dropped , i guess thats cool?" And i think i know why that is the case...it started back in arc 5 when i finally catched up to the chapters and had to start waiting for chapters to be released. And even back then i just had the feeling that something changed about the story , that the quality of the chapters got worse and i wasnt enjoying the story as much as i used to.
And after a few arcs i kind of got why that was the case. The individual chapters of the story dont have a thing that connects them annymore and therefore they just seem like disconnectet stories in the same universe/multiverse.sure , characters Keep the developement they had throuout the chapters but that is about it. That probably is intentional but for me it really doesnt work. Oh and just wanted to say : The entire finale of arc 7 didnt really work for me, i really wasn't invested in what was happening , normally you are pretty good in doing that so idk what happened there ...i will continue to read this story , but it probably won't be my number 1 priority any more.
9603857
I will say that most people in the pre-readers agree that ARC 7 (the one that just finished) was one of the weakest installments, so your dislike of it is understandable. I only ask that you stick around since the story IS done and there's a lot more to do, and even if you think a lot of it is disconnected, it does matter. (For instance: today's chapter seems like a standalone that probably means little to nothing. It actually comes back later this arc for a minorly-important point, and is itself an exploration of a world mentioned in passing during the previous arc.)
I am somewhat surprised you think the chapters are becoming more disjointed. For the first five arcs, ALL chapters were episodic. There was a continuing plot thread and character development, sure, but each chapter could be taken on its own. Arcs 6-8 are designed with a 'main plot' in mind that takes up the latter 'half' of the arcs. If, for some reason, taht doesn't work for you, well, I can tell you that Arc 9 returns to episodic, but after that the story basically stops being episodic enteirly and focuses on The Final Story. I'm still a little confused how a bunch of chapters *directly* related to each other are less connected than the ones that were all episodic? I know I can't really change anything on that scale at this point since, well, the entire thing's written already, but I'd still like to know what I can do to fix it.
Part of me suspects you just don't like waiting to get to the end of the story, and that the waiting is bogging you down since this story is soooo loooong. I'll let you know that, on the Discord server, there are chapter drafts up to ARC 12 public for anyone to look at and comment on. if you think that'll help, I'd suggest going through those.
I'm just here to try and give you a good experience. Here's to hoping I can do that.
((and as for the quality comment... I mean, in the EARLY chapters I described a lot more since new stuff was showing up all the time, but now most things aren't all that new...? Otherwise, if anything, my style has improved over time. Grammatically speaking, not necessarily structurally so. Is it maybe getting formulaic/repetetive/predictable?))
-GM, master of lemonlimes.
9603864
I will say that it does feel like the story has dipped in Quality since the end of Arc 6. It's still enjoyable but I kind of equate it to a show that goes on for so long you can't help but have a dip in quality after awhile especially since the whole Collector story line had all this build up and now that it's done it feels like we have to start the build up all over again.
Course it didn't help that I know absolutely nothing of Homestuck so the arc 7 finale didn't do much for me.
Well, for my part, even if the chapters are not episodic anymore, the chapters still talk about things happening in the multiverse, and is an obvious step consider that Merodi is already formed, and I enjoy them the same way, this is not he story of a group anymore, but different ones in the same set up, the merodi in this case, though there are some episodic ones with a sub-plot, and that is fine, iview them as an interlude before the mane plot returns, one that helps building the world, or worlds, or multiverse of Merodi XD.
Thanks for finally using Discord for something significant since the incident with the Ascended Ones from Stargate eighteen billion chapters ago. :-)
9606426
Has it really been that long? I hadn't realised. Maybe we should have thrown him into the mix for chapter 100
what the crap is reddit rice.
9607325
-GM, master of REDDIT RICE
Huh. Multidimensional Cutie Map. Fascinating.
Forget not that Terezi is an ass.
"The scourge of Coltpathia! The sorrow of Maredavia!"
Oh dear. A draconequus for a draconequus?
That's a fascinating point. From a troll's perspective, there are two pony princesses of love. And Discord may qualify for kismesissitude. And there's probably somepony in the Crystal Dynasty that can handle auspiticism at this point.
"There will be many a feelings jam atop a stuff pile."
"Uh..."
"They're trolls, Corona, just roll with it. Or read Homestuck."
"Wait, did you read Homestuck?"
"Audiobooks are a thing."
I appreciate Winch Starlight's transformation into a bizarre quasicorn. If unannounced ascension is good enough for Celestia, it's good enough for Discord.
Sorry, Doctor. Not every plot revolves around you.
In any case, excellent two-pronged take on the futility of unbalanced negativity. Tearing down without building up just leaves rubble.
9603852
The Doctor got hurt, and made our hearts hurt.
Rip in pepperonis Doctor :'.(
Is this world your own creation or did you build on an established work?
10263078
Made it up.
-GM, master of ups.