Songs of the Spheres

by GMBlackjack

069 - Love is in Bloom

It must have currently been Valentine’s Day in some universe, because the collective Pinkies of the Pinkie Emporium had declared it ‘Festival of Love’ day. The already pink-themed park was even pinker than usual, covered in love-themed decorations ranging from balloons to chocolates to beating holograms that floated in the sky.

The theme park had its rides altered as well – no longer was JUST the ‘tunnel of love’ ride the only option for plainly romantic activities. The rollercoasters had been decked out with hearts, the funhouse had been rearranged to throw couples together with illusions and magic, and there was kissing happening everywhere.

It was horrendously cheesy and that’s why it worked.

Some people who rarely came out to do anything fun had felt compelled to experience the once-in-a-lifetime Festival of Love. Giorno Giovanna made one of his very few public appearances with his wife, Trish. More people knew Trish than Giorno – she was a popular Earth Stand singer, while Giorno was just some guy she had married. Definitely no connection to the Italian mafia. And definitely no connection to the Division of Merodi Universalis that didn’t exist.

Lyra Heartstrings had never believed any of that.

“I’m telling you Bon Bon, that Giogio is up to something.”

“So what if he is?” Bon Bon asked, perusing the high-quality chocolates a Pinkie was selling. “He’s a friend of Jotaro, so we can trust him.”

“But what if he’s, like, up to something bad!?”

“Jotaro would know. Or Evening would. Or Olivia.”

“Since when does Olivia tell you things!?”

“Since when I ask.”

Lyra narrowed her eyes, examining Giorno closely. “But she can’t be that trustworthy… Bon B-”

Bon Bon put a hoof over Lyra’s mouth. “Lyra, turn off your mind for today. Giorno and Trish are just here to enjoy themselves, just like us. Let’s do the same, okay?”

“…Yeah, good point.”

“Now there’s a photo booth over there. Let’s go in, have some fun with silly faces, and then come out like the day is anew.”

“Sure thing!” Lyra said, beaming. She galloped over to the booth and bowed. “M’lady.”

Bon Bon rolled her eyes, but she had a smirk on her face all the while. They entered and pulled the curtain.

“So cute,” Renee said from her vantage point.

“Nosy,” Daniel observed. He was riding her, a snow cone in his hand.

“It’d be impossible not to see cuteness here,” Renee snorted. “It was just chance it happened to be those two. Look over there. Young lovebirds. An old couple who’s been through everything. And – holy Celestia that’s a big family.”

Daniel looked over his eyeglasses. “Are they a single family yet? I’m not sure all the marriages are finalized yet.”

“They’re all together, that’s the point,” Renee said, gesturing out with her hoof at the giant family.

The family in question was the combination of the Canterlot Royal Family, the Apple Family, and the Joestars. It was more than a little impressive. Applejack and her husband Barley were leading their group. Only one of their daughters were with them – the hardworking yet elegant Jona Apple. She had paired up with Glistening Helm, the only pegasus among Shining Armor and Cadence’s children. Speaking of, the Princess of Love and her Knight were there, managing to dodge the crowds for once – something about their current demeanor told the population that this was a day for them and their extended family. Another one of their children, Paradigm, was an alicorn like their eldest, and she had paired up with one of the Joestars, bringing that mess of a family into the combination.

Paradigm had chosen Shizuka Joestar, the adopted daughter of the late Joseph Joestar. She was significantly younger than both Jotaro and Jolyne, but she was also technically Jotaro’s aunt. Jotaro and Jolyne themselves were with their partners – Jotaro with his wife Marina, Jolyne with her boyfriend Anasui. All in all the giant family consisted of six different couples. Seven if they counted Big Mac and his wife, but they weren’t with them at the moment.

“Yare yare daze…” Jotaro muttered, hand to his hat.

“What is it?” Marina asked. She was the textbook definition of average Itallian human woman – brown hair, simple face, medium figure.

“I’m just realizing how much more complicated the family tree just got with Shizuka’s marriage.”

Marina chuckled. “Weirder than thinking of your aunt as a daughter?”

Jotaro glanced at Shizuka and Paradigm Joestar – they had decided to keep the legendary surname, since Shizuka was the last living individual born with it. It helped that Paradigm didn’t really have a surname. And since Paradigm was a natural-born alicorn, that meant the Joestars were technically royalty, related to Evening by way of a complex series of marriages and the entire Apple family…

“Yes, it’s weirder,” Jotaro declared.

“I think it’s beautiful how bizarre this legacy of yours is,” Marina said. “I’m glad Eve convinced you to share it with me.”

Jotaro put an arm around his wife, smiling softly. “It really did change everything.”

“Hey. Hey dad,” Jolyne said, slinging an arm around him. “What do you think Anasui would think if I tried to propose to him?”

“The man has already asked my permission to marry you with you in earshot dozens of times,” Jotaro muttered.

“You never give him a straight answer!”

“Dad privileges,” Jotaro said, looking at Anasui – a pink-haired individual with a considerable set of muscles, like many men on Earth Stand.

“Your father’s just messing with him,” Marina said, pecking her man on the cheek. “He pretends to be all serious all the time but he really laughs on the inside.”

“Oh, so the opposite of Applejack?” Barley asked. He was small for a stallion, and his colors were all muted shades of yellow.

“Barley,” Applejack grunted at her husband, raising an eyebrow. “Are you sayin’ me and Jotaro are opposites?”

“He cries on the inside too, though,” Marina observed. “All of his emotions except exasperation are hidden deep within his folds… And that’s what I love about him.”

Jotaro remained impassive.

“See? A lesser man would have been blushing.”

“Pff, Ah don’t think so,” Applejack said. “Ah can say I love Barley for his absolutely amazin’ determination, legs, an- Barley stop blushin’ you’re ruinin’ my point.”

“S-sorry.”

“Oooooh Dad’s embarrassed!” Jona said. She was by far the tallest mare there – taller even than Cadence, which was impressive. She was also bright red, which simply demanded attention from everyone when she spoke. “Hey. Hey Dad. Why do you like Mom?”

“You know.”

“Ah, but this is a Festival of Loooove!” Jona waved her hooves around. “Me and Helmy already redid the whole ‘vows’ thing.”

“Mhm,” Helm said, ruffling his gray wings.

“You got bro to talk?” Paradigm asked. Currently, her coat was white, but she was known for changing it regularly because being consistent bored her. “Your skills never cease to amaze me.”

“I have a certain set of skills that are very useful in very particular situations!” She hugged Helm close. “Isn’t that right, Helmy?”

“Mhm.”

“Give your husband a break,” Applejack said with a chuckle.

Shining Armor walked up to his son. “…I don’t envy you.”

“Mmmmmm…”

Cadence raised an eyebrow at her husband. “Shining.”

“It was a joke! It was a joke!”

Cadence rolled her eyes. “Of course it was.”

Shizuka Joestar turned to her father-in-law. “You look like you want to disappear for a while.”

“I don’t need anything to make me invisib-”

“ACHTUNG!” Shizuka declared, summoning her Stand. “RIA!” In an instant, Shining Armor was invisible.

“Shizuka! I can’t see my hooves!” Shining Armor wailed.

Shizuka and Paradigm giggled. Then Shizuka leaped onto Paradigm’s back. The alicorn spread her wings and they flew off into the sky, turning invisible.

“Yare yare daze…” Jolyne and Jotaro muttered. Jolyne summoned Stone Free, guessing where the two of them were. She guessed well, latching onto the alicorn-human couple with her stringy Stand, dragging them to the ground.

“Star Platinum: THE WORLD!” Jotaro declared, freezing time. In the frozen time, he grabbed Shizuka and Paradigm, dragging the adoptive Joestar and Equestrian Princess back to the group.

Shizuka sighed when time resumed. “Fiiine.” She made Shining Armor visible again. He had somehow already fallen onto his back, dazed.

The entire family had a good laugh.

“Beautiful,” Renee said. “Simply beautiful.”

Daniel nodded, a smile on his face. “Yeah…” The two managed to perform a kiss while Daniel was on horseback. It looked awkward but at least they didn’t fall over.

Elsewhere, however, there was someone who was watching all the festivities of love and togetherness, and feeling left out.

Allure sighed deeply, her eyes narrow. “Look at them,” she muttered. “One big happy family.”

Squeaky looked up from a tray of chocolates she had just bought. “Hm?”

“The Royal-Apple-Joestar family or whatever – brimming with love and happiness… Just like all the other people in this Festival of Love.” She turned to Squeaky, eyes in a surprisingly aggressive glare. “Everyone seems to have someone… Everyone but me – sitting here, alone, on the sidelines…”

Squeaky blinked. “…You have us.” She gestured to herself, Thrackerzod, and Bot.

“That’s not it, Squeaky. That’s not it at all. They’ve got their little lives too perfect, too great, too… loving. Far too precious… It’s an affront.”

Squeaky’s mildly confused expression was becoming one of concern.

Allure raised her hoof into the air. “SO WE ARE GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! You, me, the girls… There will be a great thing that happens today, thanks to the League of Sweetie Belles…”

“…What?” Squeaky said, almost too afraid to ask.

Allure’s ominous glare vanished, replaced with a grin. “We’re going to find me a boyfriend!”

Squeaky blinked. “…I was afraid you’d gone full supervillain on us.”

“What? Me a supervillain? That doesn’t even make any sense!”

“Yes it does,” Thrackerzod corrected from the sidelines. “No, I’m not explaining how.”

“B… Huh?”

Bot interrupted the thought process. “Boyfriend!? What kind do you want! OOH! What about Silver?”

“I am not dating myself for obvious reasons, Bot.”

“Uh… What?”

“Genetics,” Thrackerzod explained. “Dating yourself is perhaps the worst mix possible for the genetic lottery of eldritch-spawn.”

“Oh. …Why didn’t I think about that?”

“Because you’re Sweetie Bot,” Squeaky said with a smile. “You’ve nothing to be ashamed of. There are those Raritys though who really should know better…”

Allure shivered. “Leeeet’s not talk about them. Let’s talk about getting me a boyfriend! Or any of you.”

“Pass,” Thrackerzod said. “I do not experience romantic attraction due to my nature and if I wish to experience pregnancy and motherhood I will just ha-”

“Enough information!” Allure blurted.

“I wonder what a boyfriend is like…” Bot pondered.

Squeaky shrugged. “Dunno. I’ve never really been interested. That might be the result of my upbringing.”

“Do I want one…?”

“Probably not,” Squeaky said. “They’d have to become more important to you than your sister.”

“NEVER.”

Allure shook her head and smiled. “Bot, you’re adorable.”

“We’re all adorable! MAXIMUM CUTENESS!”

“Unfortunately true,” Thrackerzod grunted.

Squeaky put a hoof on Allure. “We’ll help, so long as you promise not to blow up the world.”

Allure smiled innocently. “Well, we better find me somepony then because that’s plan B!”

“I hope to Celestia you’re joking.”

Allure’s smile didn’t falter, but she did waggle her eyebrows.

Squeaky rolled her eyes. “Right. We need a plan.”

“Scanning for potential candidates,” Bot decreed, examining the entire Festival of Love she could see. “Three thousand seventeen possible candidates detected.”

“Stallions, Bot,” Squeaky clarified.

“…Nine hundred and two.”

“And ones that aren’t part of a couple already.”

“…Maybe sixty? Uncertain data.”

“Can you pare down to a similar age range?”

“Plus or minus how many?”

“…Five years, I’d say.”

“Nineteen.” Bot blinked.

“Of freaking course,” Thrackerzod muttered. “How many nineteens is that now, Bot?”

“One hundred and ninety.”

“I’m getting really tired of that number showing up everywhere…”

Pinkie appeared behind them. “Really? I love it!”

“What is it?” Thrackerzod demanded.

Pinkie giggled. “That is a secret I keep not because I have to, but because it’s fun. Heh.”

“Then why did you bother to show up!?”

“Cause. Comedic timing…”

“Joke rated four out of ten,” Bot decreed. “Not worth it.”

“Party pooper,” Pinkie muttered, vanishing. The Pinkie that appeared next to Jotaro might have been the same one, but it was hard to tell in the Pinkie Emporium.

Allure shook her head. “Bot, take us to the first candidate.”

Bot pointed at a concession stand selling cotton candy where a blue pegasus stallion was standing, clearly annoyed that the two Pinkies manning the stand were arguing up a storm.

Allure smirked. “Time to turn on the cute…” She trotted over to him, smirking.

~~~

The pink-haired white-skinned potion seller of an unknown species known as Seskii had expanded her one-stop-for-everything stand for the Festival of Love, setting up a ‘spectacular brewery’ restaurant in one of the Pinkie Emporium's streets. “Come one, come all to Seskii’s Brewery! One day only buy a drink that will be like nothing you’ve ever experienced – one will make you feel like a cloud, while another will give you the ability to see light as it moves! Or that’s what you’ll feel like, anyway.”

Nova walked up to the makeshift bar Seskii had set up, taking a seat on the stool. “Four potions of whatever Seskii, but make sure they’re the same.”

“…Fine, I’ll drop the randomness for once,” Seskii said, mixing her drinks.

“By the way, do you know Shizuka and Paradigm are making out in the seat next to me?”

“Of course I do,” Seskii said, rolling her eyes. “What self respecting merchant wouldn’t?”

Shizuka and Paradigm dropped the invisibility, the two of them blushing furiously.

“Just because you’re invisible doesn’t mean people won’t notice you,” Nova commented, looking at them with a bored expression. “It’s not like you can really mistake Paradigm’s magic signature.”

“…Shizuka…” Paradigm muttered.

“I lost focus on Achtung, sorry!” She rubbed the back of her head. “I was a little… distracted.”

Paradigm giggled. “I bet.”

Nova turned to Seskii, showing her credit card to pay. “Thanks, Seskii.”

“Don’t mention it!”

“This better not be a love potion, by the way.”

“It’s not!” Seskii winked. “I’m not cruel.”

Nova walked back to her table with four bubbling purple drinks in potion bottles. She laid them out for Discord, Trixie, and Flutterfree. “Here we are. Having lunch in the middle of a Festival of Love.”

“I know! Isn’t it a coincidence?” Discord said, hands to his face. “When we planned to have lunch today I had no idea what Pinkie was doing!”

“Nobody believes you, Discord,” Flutterfree said, sniffing the potion.

Trixie chuckled. “For a being of chaos you sure don’t lie very well.”

“He can if he wants to,” Nova said, sitting down. “The badness is part of the joke.”

“Uh oh, someone’s become… a fuddy duddy.” Discord said.

Trixie gasped. “NO! Not her! NEVER NOVA! We can’t lose her to the fuddy duddy!”

“…What?”

Flutterfree giggled. “They’re calling you fussy. You do seem to be on a short fuse today.”

Nova muttered, gesturing at the festival. “Oh, it’s nothing, it’s just that I absolutely love Single’s Awareness Day.”

“…Brings back bad memories, doesn’t it?” Flutterfree asked.

“Yeah.”

Trixie looked confused for a moment, but then realization dawned. “Oh. Icon.”

“Don’t get the wrong idea,” Nova muttered. “I’m over her. Haven’t even thought about her in months – before today, of course. But this holiday has a way of bringing back things you never wanted brought back in the first place.”

“Like the time you and Trixie went out?” Discord said dismissively, instead fixated on a spaceship-in-a-bottle he was making.

Nova looked to Trixie. “We did that once. Then we agreed, mutually, never again.”

“The details will remain forever sealed away within our minds, never spoken to another soul in existence,” Trixie decreed.

Flutterfree nodded. “I see.”

“Okay, now I’m curious,” Discord said, putting the ship in a bottle down and generating a magnifying glass to examine Nova with. “Any noodle incident that the parties agree never to discuss is definitely worth my time.”

“Discord, they had a private falling out of some kind or other, don’t prod.”

“…Fine…”

“You know sometimes you two sound like an old married couple,” Trixie said, finally taking a sip from her purple potion.

Discord and Flutterfree blinked – then both of them started laughing at how absurd they found the implication. Then they started laughing at the blue fire coming out of Trixie’s ears from the potion.

Trixie felt the fire. “Huh. Strange.”

“What an effective conversation derailer,” Nova commented, taking her own drink and getting fire just like Trixie. “Tastes like ice mixed with cranberries.”

Flutterfree forced herself to stop laughing and down a bit of the drink, gaining her own flame. “Sorry for laughing at you Trixie, it’s just that so doesn’t describe us it’s just… funny.”

“I get it. I’m the butt of the joke today.” Trixie rolled her eyes. “The Great and Powerful Trixie reduced to a body part not mentioned in polite company.”

“Good thing we’re not polite company!” Discord cheered.

“Discord don’t you dare summon another storm of butts, we’re in public.” Flutterfree said, grabbing his hand with Lolo.

Trixie turned to Nova. “I’m telling you, the way they act is uncanny.”

“Some people have odd relationships,” Nova commented.

Discord nodded. “Oh yes. Flutterfree and I decided long ago that the whole romance thing wasn’t for the two of us, and just kept progressing down the much more impressive friendship track. Imagine for illustration, if you will, a red bouncy ball and a dog…”

“No,” Trixie said.

“…What?”

“Trixie refuses to imagine.”

Discord summoned a dog with a red ball in its mouth on top of her.

Flutterfree blinked. “…What was this supposed to illustrate, again?”

“I don’t know,” Discord muttered, folding his arms. “What I do know is that Trixie ruined it.”

Trixie made the dog disappear and bowed, sticking the ball in her hat. “Trixie thanks you for being such a participatory audience.”

“You know the word participatory?” Flutterfree asked.

“I’m not sure it means what she thinks it means,” Nova commented.

“Shut up.”

“We can talk about your love life instead!” Discord decreed.

Nova groaned. “Really Discord? Nobody wants to talk abou-”

Trixie grinned, cutting Nova off. “I’ve gone through two stallions and a mare in the last two months.”

Flutterfree shook her head. “Trixie, don’t you think that’s a little… unhealthy?”

“It’s how Trixie manages herself. Plus, it’s not like I’m doing anything stupid.”

“Debatable,” Discord muttered.

“I don’t mean physical health, I mean mental,” Flutterfree clarified. “Going through partners that fast…”

“It’s. How. Trixie. Manages. Herself.”

“It’s a lost cause, Flutterfree,” Nova said, taking another drink – ignoring the fire coming out of her ears. “I’ve tried to have this conversation with her as well. Nothing changes.”

Flutterfree raised an eyebrow. “I never admit defeat.”

Trixie smirked, taking an apple out of her hat and biting it obnoxiously. “Bring it.”

Flutterfree’s mouth began to water. “Trixie…”

“Trixie has an infinite supply of apples, effectively,” Trixie chuckled. “Trixie can make you hunger for their flesh endlessly.”

Flutterfree twitched. “You monster.”

“Trixie knows! Isn’t it great?”

“Discord, apple blaster.”

“Right on it!” Discord announced, summoning a dozen apples into Trixie’s face at high velocity. As a follow-up he hit her with an apple pie. Then he gave Flutterfree an extra pie just so she didn’t continue to suffer from her blood-apple hunger. She dove in with a ravenous appetite, spewing pie crust everywhere.

“Har-de-har,” Trixie muttered, wiping the pie from her face. “So, Nova, what about you?”

“Hrm?”

“You and romance.”

“Oh… I really don’t know.”

Flutterfree used Lolo to clean her face. “Are you sure that’s true Nova?”

“Beyond ‘I want someone’ I don’t really have anything.”

“Your answer has changed,” Flutterfree noted. “Last time we had this conversation you didn’t think you wanted anyone.”

“Yeah, well… I guess ponies do change.”

Flutterfree nodded. “It’s okay. Why not start dating?”

“I dunno. I’d prefer to be with someone I already know, to be honest. Just “HEY LET’S DATE!” is Trixie’s thing, not mine.”

“It is a proud way to conduct oneself,” Trixie asserted.

Flutterfree furrowed her brow. “Well… I’m not interested and neither’s Pinkie.”

“Not interested in either of you, either. We’re like sisters.” Nova smiled warmly.

Flutterfree smiled back. “Aw…”

“I’m going to die from diabetes,” Discord muttered.

“Trixie’s next trick will be the revival of a chaos spirit.”

Discord rolled his eyes.

Flutterfree turned back to Nova. “You know other people than the four of us on the team. I know Trixie isn’t an option, but you have other friends.”

“Maud and Renee are married, Eve’s Eve, Spike’s Spike, Thorax is basically married to his hive, you know.”

“Sunburst?”

Nova blinked. “Ah… Sunburst... Er…”

“She’s blushing,” Trixie decreed. “We have a winner!”

“But he’s busy!” Nova blurted. “Sunburst is on Sunny’s Survey team! They spend multiple days out exploring worlds. He probably doesn’t have time, not to mention he’s probably more invested in his work than he would be in me and – why are you all looking at me like that!?”

Flutterfree and Discord exchanged glances. “It really is odd how ponies can be so ignorant of themselves,” Flutterfree observed.

Discord snorted. “You’re just noticing this now?”

“It never ceases to amaze me.”

“What are you two talking about!?” Nova blurted.

“You like him,” Trixie explained.

“It’s not just that,” Flutterfree said. “We can also see a lot of emotions that have been building up under the surface over the years.” She smiled softly. “…I think you should call him and ask.”

“OH NONO NONONONONONONO!” Nova blurted. “That would be…”

“If he says no he says no,” Discord said. “And that’ll actually give you some closure for this inner complex you’ve been avoiding for… decades?”

“Decades,” Flutterfree agreed.

“B-bu-“

“It’s no use,” Trixie said with an exaggerated moan of pain. “You can’t fight the logic!”

Nova twitched. “…Gah, fine. I’ll call him and ask. He’s going to say no and then we’ll all forget about it.” Nova pulled out her phone and dialed his number with determination.

“HEY SUNBURST!”

“Nova? Hi! I haven’t heard from you in a while! What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing really, just talking to some friends and you came up in conversation. Thought I’d call you cause, you know, we’re friends.”

“…Riiiiight.”

“Aaaaanyway, I had this… Silly thought that, I dunno, we should go out and do something, maybe?”

“Oh, like a session of magic spellcasting?”

“We could do that, and that sounds like a great idea – but if you wanted we could also go to dinner and a movie. But the spellcasting sounds good too, just like old times, hahaha. Probably should do that, because I know you like spells, I like spells, everyone likes spells. Magic is amazing, we should totally bond over it. Or dragon pit – dragon pit is amazing. I came up with a kite mod for it, you know? Yeah. …Right.”

“…Did you ask me out in the middle of that rant there?”

Nova’s expression forced itself into a combination of fear, anxiety, and holding one’s breath. The other three tried not to laugh. “Yes.”

“Well, I accept! I’ll be back in Merodi Universalis proper t-tonight, if that’ll work.”

“It’ll work fine!”

“Where should we go?”

“Eheeheheh… I hear there’s a great Earth Ottoman restaurant in the Hub! Oh, movie first though, don’t want to feel rushed do we?”

“Of c-course not!”

“See you then! Call me when you’re back!”

“R-right!”

Nova hung up.

“Told you so,” Trixie said.

Nova stared into the distance. She didn’t say anything.

Flutterfree walked around the table over to her and put a wing around her. “You both are really good friends. I’m sure it’ll go well.”

“But what if it doesn’t?!”

“Then you’ll sign a document demanding never to speak of it again,” Trixie said, taking another drink of her potion.

“…That’s a surprisingly good point, Trixie.”

“It’s the only kind of point I know how to make.”

“Bullshit.”

Trixie laughed. “Glad you noticed.”

“Oh, are we going to give Nova a decidedly absurd makeover?” Discord asked. “I’ve got some chaos-enchanted garments sure to dazzle the crowd!”

“I’ll just go as myself,” Nova said. “Because… Yeah.” She shook her head. “Celestia, I hate being flustered.”

“It’s completely natural,” Flutterfree said.

“And a lot of natural things are deserving of hate,” Nova responded. “Just ask Corona about death sometime.”

“I have…” Flutterfree said, eyes glazing over.

Discord chuckled. “Quite the conversation.” He took a drink of his potion. “This is absolutely delicious.”

“Seskii is a wizard,” Flutterfree added.

“She’s secretly a Pinkie in disguise,” Trixie theorized.

“No I’m not!” Seskii called over.

“Oh yeah?” Trixie shouted back. “You’re Aware aren’t you!?”

“Do I look like I’m good at parties!?”

“Maybe!?”

“Well I don’t do them! I sell potions! And… Well just about everything else, but mostly potions! I love potions. If I was a pony my cutie mark would be a potion with an interrobang in it!”

“Mine would be my face,” Discord decreed.

“It’s a tornado,” Trixie muttered. “Have you even watched our cartoon? When you face off against Tirek, you have a tornado.”

“Psh, false advertising.”

“It’s right about literally everything else!”

“Can you be sure about that? What about all the animation errors? Duplicate ponies? Those aren’t things!”

Nova raised a hoof. “They are in other worlds.”

“Why’d you have to ruin my point?”

“Because I’m going to enjoy myself a little bit before nerves take over and turn me into an emotional wreck, that’s what.”

Flutterfree shook her head and chuckled. “Nova, everything will be fine.”

“Yes. I know that. But the brain has issues telling the heart what to do. It’s quite fun.”

Trixie smirked. “The best kind of fun.”

Nova rolled her eyes. “Seskii, something stronger! But not something that’ll keep me drunk until tonight.”

“COMING RIGHT UP!” Seskii called.

“Why did I even walk up to the counter the first time?”

“Because I asked you to,” Discord said.

Nova blinked – then started to chuckle. “Of course you would.”

~~~

“I think I’ve figured out the word for how this is going,” Thrackerzod deadpanned.

“What?” Allure grunted, currently hiding under an overly large sun hat.

“Swimmingly.”

“We were off to such a great start, too!” Bot declared.

(“Hey there,” Allure said, walking up to the blue stallion. “How are y-”

“GET AWAY FROM MY BLUEBERRY MINT!” one of the Pinkies yelled, grabbing Allure by the throat. “HE’S MINE!”)

“Only if you don’t count the actual start,” Allure muttered.

“You were smiling! Smiling is starting out good!”

“And then I was choking.” She rubbed her throat. “That still hurts…”

Squeaky shook her head. “Well, I wouldn’t say the start was indicative of everything else that happened…”

(The stallion looked at her. “I’m married, go away.”)

(“BRO, IS THIS FILLY BOTHERING YOU?”

“YEAH, BRO.”

“GET YOUR HORN AWAY FROM BRO, FILLY.”)

(“I’m sorry, I’m in a committed relationship with the AI contained in my necklace.”)

(“Well hey there~!” a particularly handsome stallion said to Allure. “I bet y-”

“RIVET!” a hag of a mare shouted. “STOP OGGLING OVER THE YOUNG’NS.”

Rivet shot Allure a ‘help me’ look. Allure ran away, deciding not to get involved.)

Allure fixed Squeaky with a look. “Really. There’s no pattern. Not at all. Every interaction was unique in its own way. It wasn’t like they all came here with their partners!”

“In hindsight that should have been obvious,” Thrackerzod muttered. “Oh wait, it was.”

“Not all of my targets were inaccurate,” Bot pouted.

(Allure smiled. “Hey, I was wondering, I’m alone, you’re alone, think we could…?”

He laughed. “Oh wait, you’re serious? Let me laugh harder.” He laughed harder.)

(“And that’s why I’m looking all over the place for someone, anyone here to just give me a chance for a moment and so far you’re the only one who’s bothered to even listen an-”

“Allure, you’re pouring your heart out to a cactus,” Squeaky pointed out.

Allure looked to where a stallion had been just a moment ago. “...That peeving little…”)

(“Hey, how ab-”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”)

Allure raised an eyebrow at Bot. “…Technically correct.”

“The best kind of correct!”

“The worst kind.”

“Does not compute, therefore, I choose to ignore.”

Allure twitched. “O-kay then.”

“We’ve just got to keep trying,” Squeaky said. “Clearly, these are bad stomping grounds to find stable single people.”

“It’s like you all can’t see the sun in the sky,” Thrackerzod deadpanned.

“Where to go though?” Allure asked. “We can’t just wait.”

“Can’t we?” Squeaky countered.

“I don’t want to,” Allure muttered.

“May I make a suggestion?” a nearby bush asked.

The four Sweeties looked at the bush.

“Hey Starbeat!” Bot chirped.

“Mhm, no, Starbeat definitely isn’t here, it is just I, a bush,” Starbeat said.

“Whatever you say, Starbush.”

“Starbeat, what are you doing here?” Allure asked.

“I told you I was a bush! Agh, fine. I’m here because Vriska and Hastur were all like ‘hey you should show up it’ll be grand’ and I was like ‘noooo’ and they were like ‘yessssss!’ and then I ended up here against my better judgment. They can be very convincing.”

“I bet. You had a suggestion?”

Starbeat paused for a moment. “Yeah. You’re going about this all wrong.”

Thrackerzod fixed Allure with an incredulous expression.

“I’ve gathered,” Allure muttered. “But how should I go about getting someone?”

“It’s best to go with somebody you already know somewhat well, but something tells me that doesn’t exactly go for you.”

“I live and breathe Sweetie Belle day in and day out. All my other friends are mares. …Wait, I suppose I used to be friends with Pip a long time ago…”

“Your Crusader Clients?”

“Like that wouldn’t be awkward. Though at this point I am a little desperate…”

Starbeat paused for a moment. “In that case, we’re going to have to make ka work for you.”

Allure cocked her head. “How so?”

“There are certain places that are more likely to be the scene of romantic encounters – trust me, I’ve studied these things.”

“Said the bush,” Bot observed.

Starbeat ignored her. “See, the problem with this place is not that it won’t have romantic encounters, but that it’s designed for those who already have romance to have even more. Elsewhere is more suited for finding instant-romance. Naturally you have to be on guard that it’s not just a ‘click-like’ scenario, but unlike me you actually have some power over that. Bars are usually filled with the lonely seekers, and on today especially people will be looking to drink their sorrows away.”

“Oh, I like that idea!” Allure said. “Go out for drinks!”

“There are other places. The park is a good one for chance encounters. Or a college – something about colleges just screams for love to bloom in one way or another, between students or otherwise.”

“Bar sounds more fun, no offense.”

“Regardless of what you do, you have to at least appear to be alone. Though your three wingponies could be invisible, easy.”

Thrackerzod sighed. “The things I do for you lot… Invisibility at the ready.”

“Great! Thanks Starbeat!” Allure cheered. “You’re the best!”

“T-thanks!”

“You have your bracelet disabled,” Squeaky observed.

“Stealth tactics. Speaking of, I need to move.” The bush vanished in a flash of magic.

Allure smirked. “All right girls – first stop, the bar!”

“You should stop talking to us after we’re invisible,” Squeaky said. “You don’t want to look crazy.”

“This article suggests crazy is the new attractive!” Bot chirped, reporting on her internal Internet search.

“The Internet is a pretzel knot of lies,” Squeaky countered.

Allure rolled her eyes. “What it should really say is ‘be yourself’. Which I have no problem with.”

“Famous last words,” Thrackerzod muttered.

“Ye of little faith,” Allure said with a smile. “TO THE BAR!”

~~~

Queen Toph of Lai and Lady Rarity’s team sat in the Throne Room, watching TV. Well, in the case of the Queen, listening to TV – all Toph could ‘see’ was a large flat piece of paper pulled down from the ceiling that caught the projector’s display for the rest of the throne room to see. But it was the news, so it wasn’t like she needed to see anything to understand what was going on.

A story about Mistress Luna’s work on the Binary world ended, transferring to coverage of the Festival of Love. Toph sighed, shutting off the projector.

Lady Rarity and the rest of the team looked to her, wondering why she had shut it off.

“Sometimes I wonder,” Toph said, folding her hands together. “I wonder what it would have been like.”

“What?” Lady Rarity asked.

“If I wasn’t here. If I stayed in the Elemental Nations – Elemental Four, I guess. According to my ‘show’ I would probably be working as chief as police and have a kid at this point. Apparently it wouldn’t have stuck forever, but at least I would have had something. Now here I am, Queen of a bunch of horses. I really shouldn’t take anyone to be king that isn’t from Lai, and let’s just say I’m not interested in anyone who is from Lai.”

“Queen Luna never had a king,” Olivia pointed out. “She just lived. Probably thought she was going to live forever.”

“We’ll all live forever if I have anything to say about it,” Corona said, curling her fingers into a determined fist.

“How is the ‘immortality project’ coming along?” Toph asked.

“As of yet I’m unable to mass produce any results. Which means I really shouldn’t start giving it to people. The definition of unfairness.”

“So, in other words, not really.”

“I’m the only one working on it,” Corona admitted. “Turning it into a big production would be… Lieshy, give me a metaphor.”

“Dropping a chunk of meat into piranha infested waters,” Lieshy deadpanned.

“Yes. Like that.”

Toph sat back. “Well, at least you won't have to worry. Rarity, you’re next in line after me to run this place for the moment. Not going to let you find out last minute if somebody drains my life in an instant.”

Lady Rarity bowed. “I would be honored.”

“Still…” Toph put a hand to her chin. “I wonder…”

“Do you want me to track down the guy you married in fiction?” Olivia asked. “I could do that.”

“I’m not even sure if we were actually married in that world,” Toph said with a shrug. “Also… No, it probably wouldn’t be good for me.”

Olivia shrugged. “I’d want to know.”

“The rest of us do know,” Corona pointed out. “Toph, you’re not surrounded by alternates of yourself.”

“There’s been exactly one other me,” Toph confirmed.

“Yeah. Meanwhile I’ve seen hundreds of myself. Most of them are single, but there are a few who aren’t. Twilight and Flash seem to be the popular choices.”

“Still can’t imagine Eve and you.” Lieshy said, shaking her head. “But it seems so common…”

Corona shrugged. “Neither of us is interested. It comes with being a pony.”

Olivia blinked. “Wait, it does?”

“I figured you of all people would have noticed,” Corona said with a smirk. “Though, I guess even we don’t really notice most of the time.”

Lady Rarity blinked. “Notice what?”

“The singles,” Lieshy answered.

“…What?”

Corona smirked. With a flash of magic she de-summoned her clothes and transformed into a unicorn. “Ponies have significantly less drive to couple up than humans do. Go look at any Equis Vitis city that isn’t Ponyville or Canterlot – you’ll see a lot of ponies. A lot of single ponies. So many that they’re the majority. Sometimes the vast majority.”

“…I can’t believe I never noticed this,” Lady Rarity muttered.

“It’s not something you’d think about much,” Corona admitted. “I only did because the moment I came to Earth Vitis everyone was obsessed with hooking up and making out. It was more than a little off-putting – plus the freshly-teenaged human body decided to throw hormones at me like a wall. Humans like romance a lot. For some it’s all they think about.” She leaned back. “Of course, there are worlds that are contrary to the rule – Equis Regarden and Equis Fallout are a bit notorious for having obsessed maniacs. Same for a few human worlds where coupling up isn’t really a fixation.”

“How do we keep the population up?” Lady Rarity wondered. “If so many of us aren’t getting together…”

“How many sisters does Pinkie have?” Corona asked.

“Three, how do-”

“Name ponies you know that don’t have siblings besides yourself.”

Lady Rarity blinked. “…Rainbow Dash. You.”

Corona smirked. “Had to think there. Also I do have siblings, and an extended family, we just don’t talk.”

“Really?”

“I made up with them a while back, but nobody really had the drive to keep up the relationship. A bit sad, but nothing to dwell on. My mother has made a point of letting me know she’s proud of me, so that’s something.”

Olivia nodded. “So, Corona, as a human-pony, what do you feel?”

“Indifferent,” Corona said. “Middle ground, I guess you could say? As a unicorn I had no drive whatsoever to find anyone, and as a human I fought to suppress it. Now I guess I just don’t care. I switch between unicorn and human so much…” she shrugged. “Last date I went on was four months ago. I’ve already forgotten the guy’s name.”

“Ouch,” Toph said.

“You can say that again.”

“Ouch,” Lieshy droned.

“Not you.”

Lady Rarity rolled her eyes. “Well all this talk of romance and couples is fascinating and all, but it is a bit moot. None of us are really on the market.”

Olivia raised a hand.

“Bringing in men from Earth Stand every few weeks ‘for fun and profit’ does not count.”

Olivia lowered her hand. “I’m still pretty sure we’re available.”

“Toph is queen, Corona doesn’t care, I have a vow of chastity because of my cannibalistic nature, you would never settle on anyone ever, and Lieshy is Lieshy.”

Lieshy rolled her eyes. “Yes, yes I am. Lieshy. Indeed.”

Corona glanced at her. “…Why don’t you have anyone, or even try, anyway?”

“Pony. Just don’t care. We discussed this. Remember? Grandfather clock chiming.”

Corona raised an eyebrow. “Hrm…”

“I know that look in your eyes, don’t you e-”

Corona teleported, holding a hoof to Lieshy’s forehead. One second later, Corona jumped back and chuckled.

“INVASION OF PRIVACY!”

“She had a boyfriend,” Corona said, sitting down with a smirk.

Olivia blinked. “I didn’t know this. I didn’t know this. I know the secrets of everyone here! How did you…?”

“The Snack.”

“…Woah, that’s clever,” Olivia said.

“I can’t even begin to imagine…” Lady Rarity said, hoof to her face.

“You need to watch The Snack, it’ll all make sense,” Corona said. “It’s one of those things you really can’t explain. Ever. At all.”

“Lovely.”

Toph turned to Lieshy. “Do you think we can get a name of the handsome stallion?”

“His name is Clockwork and he is perhaps the furthest from conventionally attractive a pony could be.”

Corona rolled her eyes. “That wasn’t a reason to hide him from us.”

“That’s no-”

Corona raised her hoof. “May I remind you where I was just a few seconds ago?”

“…Fine.”

“Good. Now that we’ve established we like Clockwork even if he’s ugly w-”

“I dunno, if he looks like a turd I might have to stage an intervention,” Olivia interrupted.

Corona fixed her with a look. “As I was saying, you have nothing but our support and good wishes.”

“And my condolences,” Olivia said.

Corona nodded to Lieshy. Lieshy punched Olivia with Limelight. “OKAY OKAY, I’M SORRY! …Waitaminute.”

“No take backs,” Lieshy decreed.

“You really don’t want to talk about him, do you?” Lady Rarity asked.

“Ding ding ding.”

“That’s fine,” Corona said. “But we will have to meet him eventually.”

“Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars.”

“Lieshy…”

“Fiiiiine,” Lieshy moaned. “I’ll bring him by next week or something.”

“Next week for sure?”

“The top light.”

“Lieshy, straight.”

“…Yes,” Lieshy hissed through her teeth.

“Good. That’s all we need.” Corona leaned back. “I won’t spill any other beans.”

Lady Rarity shivered. “Beans…”

“Mierda!” Olivia shouted. “You just made me think of-”

“We all know what world everyone just thought of,” Toph said, trying her hardest not to flinch at the memories of… the beans. And the things made of beans that were never to be spoken of.

“NEW TOPIC!” Corona decreed, blushing furiously. “What about… lunch?”

“Yes. Lunch. Please,” Lieshy whimpered. “Food is good.”

~~~

Allure walked into a bar right outside of the Pinkie Emporium – the Last Chance. There was a sign that said if you don’t come in here now, the Pink Ones will get you.

“Too late,” Allure chuckled, looking to the other three. Then she remembered they were invisible and weren’t supposed to talk. She would hear a telepathic message if she needed to be told anything.

The bar itself was rather large and bright – a nice contrast to the dark and brooding establishments elsewhere in the multiverse that seemed so popular for no discernable reason. The place was about two-thirds full of people who didn’t look like they were having a good time – a significant number were drowning their sorrows away with drink.

Allure sighed. Well, at least I belong here. She walked up to the main counter, taking a seat on one of the stools. “Something that isn’t all that heavy. I need my wits about me.”

“Y’sure about that hon?” a buxom human asked. “We’ve got the Drowner on tap for ya, and I think ya need it.”

“…Look at me. I’m tiny. I don’t usually drink. So something light will probably still make me tipsy. Mmk?”

“Hon, y’re far too responsible to be in this place with this crowd.”

Allure rolled her eyes.

“I’ll get ya a fizz-pop though.”

“Sure. Does it come in cherry?”

“Lucky you, it does!”

“Do that then,” Allure said, smirking. She levitated the drink in her magic and turned away from the bar. She could just sit here and wait for someone to walk up, throw herself to ka as it were. Probably what Starbeat wanted, if she was being honest. But Allure didn’t want to just sit, wait, and feel sorry for herself. She was going to put herself out there. Who cared if she never did it? She’d had plenty of practice earlier today. The cute eyes surely had an effect in this arena as well…

She spotted her first target. Stallion. Average size. Not busy crying into his drink. Didn’t have absurd muscles indicative of a ‘jock’ type. Worth a shot.

She took a sip of her drink and scooted two stools over. She smirked and looked at him. “Come here often?”

“Go away,” he muttered.

Allure raised her hooves in surrender. “All right, sorry if I thought it was okay to come over here and say hi.” She turned around – he didn’t call after her. Time for another target. She moved to the other side of the bar.

She leaned on one of her hooves and put on a coy smirk. “Hey there.”

“Hey,” the stallion said in the most monotone voice imaginable, staring deeply into his drink.

“I bet you do a lot of deep thinking, huh?”

“The rim of my glass has a fly on it.”

“…Right.”

“It reminds me of my cat, Flu. Flu’s a good cat.”

“Oh? My sister has a cat, she calls i-”

“Flu. Mue. Khu. Dhu. Lue. Yue. Nou. Wou. My cats.”

“You have a lot of cats.”

“I do have a lot of cats. They are my everything.” He began to sniff.

“I bet they are,” Allure said with a smile. “Is that what your cutie mark is for?” She gestured toward his paw-print cutie mark.

“Yeah… Always cats, all the time… Everything… But not today, today I’m sitting in a bar, away from them…”

“Why are you?”

“I don’t know. I was mad at them. But now I’m not. I don’t know if they’ll forgive me…”

“I’m sure they will! They’re part of you! I’m sure of it! Just look at that flank of yours – you are a cat owner. And those cats love you.”

“Yeah… Yeah!” The stallion stood up. “You’re right! I shouldn’t be avoiding them – I should go to them!”

“Wait a seco-”

“Thank you for showing me what I need to do! I’M COMING FLU!” He ran out of the bar.

Allure blinked. Then she glared at her cutie mark. “Traitor.”

Her cutie mark made no response.

Rule of Three, a voice entered her head. Allure nodded – of course. Then again, trying to invoke a rule of ka was likely to get an exception…

Whatever. She sat down at a round table where only one pegasus stallion was sitting, staring into the distance. He was orange. The brightest orange Allure had seen on a pony that she could remember.

“You look like a piece of fruit,” Allure observed, not waiting for an invitation to sit down.

He didn’t make eye contact. “What if I am a piece of fruit?”

“Then your time on this world is short, because I’m a fruit vampire who’ll suck you dry.”

The stallion raised an eyebrow, making eye contact with her. “You know the art of the pick-up line is supposed to be overly obvious and significantly more crass.”

“Well, I’m either new at this or can’t bring myself to say any of the dozens of other things swirling around my head.” She leaned in, turning on the cute eyes and her suggestive smirk. “Take your pick.”

“I’ll choose neither,” he said, turning to face her directly. “I choose to believe that was part of your plan.”

“Oh no, he’s found me out. Next he’ll find out that I’m a supervillain – drat!”

He rolled his eyes. “And what part do I have to play in your ‘not evil’ plans?”

“I must take you out in order to set off a chain of events that leads to me ruling Merodi Universalis with an iron hoof! Muahaha!”

“I can’t tell if you’re actually trying this hard or legitimately just think about being a supervillain regularly.”

“Get to know me a bit better and you might find out.”

He smiled. “In that case, I accept. I am Tangelo. HEY DANA, GET US AN ORDER OF HOT WINGS WOULD YA?”

“Right away, Tanny,” Dana called.

Allure introduced herself next. “Allure. A Sweetie, of course.”

“Mmm… That name sounds familiar.”

She smirked. “Want to play guess the Sweetie? I’m sure you’ll get me pinned. Definitely.”

“I’ll just keep my thoughts to myself.”

“What is this, double mystery day?” She rolled her eyes, taking another sip of her drink.

“Perhaps. It makes things interesting. This place is usually such a dreadful bore.”

Allure raised an eyebrow. “Not one of the mopers I take it?”

Tangelo shook his head as the hot wings arrived – he had to use a fork, being a pegasus. “No. I come here as a social experiment regularly. To see who I find.”

“I’m going to take that as a roundabout compliment along the lines of ‘you’re interesting enough to talk to’.”

“More or less.”

She munched on the hot wing – meat was so weird but tasted so good. “So what made me pass inspection?”

“You came in here with a purpose and a plan when the vast majority of people are floundering fish who haven’t the foggiest idea what they want to do here besides drink, stop thinking, and maybe get lucky. At first I thought you may have been a shark hunting for easy prey, but as it turns out you were rather inexperienced in the flirting scene.” He finished a wing “Paradoxically, you weren’t all that nervous – annoyance was your primary emotion. Telling of a determined individual who woke up this morning and decided she wanted to find someone and hasn’t had any luck.”

Allure smirked. “Now I wish I had been paying attention to you this whole time, I bet I could have come up with a similar paragraph.”

“An artifact of the way we have introduced each other.” He must have really liked wings, because he was already on another one, forcing Allure to hurry up her own eating to keep up. “You’ve impressed me so far with your reactions.”

“Backhanded way of saying I’m not an idiot.”

“So few people aren’t idiots these days,” Tangelo pointed out. “Point out one other person in this establishment who has a smidge of intelligence about them.”

“Don’t even need to look.”

“I’m surprised you were even considering those who clearly weren’t on your level of thought.”

“Oh, a bit arrogant are we?” Allure chuckled. “There’s more to life than just intelligence. I may have been somewhat desperate – but if I refused them just because they didn’t know how to think, well, I’d be a little cruel then wouldn’t I?”

“You thought the cat-stallion was thinking.”

“Honest mistake,” Allure admitted. “Really, I’m being honest here, that was a mistake.”

Tangelo raised an eyebrow.

“Too cheesy?”

“Too cheesy.”

“I did come here with the hopes of taking advantage of ka, so perhaps a cheesy conversation is just what the doctor ordered.” She finished a wing.

Tangelo reached for another delectable piece of slightly spicy meat, only to find there was none. He stood up. “It appears we’re out of wings, Allure.”

Allure nodded. “Yeah. Want to order something else? I’m hungry.”

“How about we get out of here?” he asked, strolling around the table until he was behind her. “I think we’ve gotten off to a good start, could be interesting to see where this goes.”

Allure beamed. “Really!? Oh yes!” She stood up. “Where should we go? There’s a bunch of fancy places across the street I can get us into – trust me, I can – and I think they’re showing Crimson Evening in the theater still…”

“Ah, but we’ve already passed the initial get together, bonding over wings,” Tangelo said, placing a hoof on the back of her neck. Allure tensed for a moment – but quickly relaxed. After all, that was supposed to be romantic, right?

“I… guess so? What then, just go hang out in a park?”

“You are a little naive, but that’s not something I’ll hold against you. I can see past it into your mind – a wondrous thing I want to get closer to.”

Allure grinned. “Well we could just go talk. That’d be good, right?”

“Walk and talk. Back to my place, of course.”

“Sure th-” Allure processed what he’d just said. “…Your place.”

He looked at her, slightly confused. “Yes…?”

“…That’s a little fast.”

Tangelo smirked. “It’s how it’s done, Allure.” He gestured to the front doors of the bar. “A pony walks in there, sad, despondent, or lonely. They find someone here who either feels the same or is just looking for some fun. They pair up and leave to get to the real meat of the encounter.”

“And then…?”

Tangelo shrugged. “Then they see where they are after that.” He picked up her front hoof. “I assure you, our conversation will go long into the night, and possibly the next day.”

“Can’t we just like, I don’t know, go on an actual date first? I hardly know you!”

Tangelo sighed. “You’re still holding onto a fantasy, I can see it. I find it curious…”

“What’s curious about it? I’m not going back to anyone’s house unless we’re really along! And I mean really!”

“And now you’re just in denial. You came to a bar, Allure, what did you expect?”

“Well I didn’t expect it to be…” Exactly how they’re portrayed on TV. Frick. I walked right into this. A moron is Allure.

“I implore you,” Tangelo said, lowering his head. “Let me take you and teach you the way it is really done.”

Allure removed her hoof from his grasp. “…No thanks.”

Tangelo looked mildly hurt – but he recovered quickly. “…Your loss, Allure. Your loss.”

“You’re one of the sharks,” Allure muttered. “Sitting here, waiting for prey.”

“I wait for one I think will suit me.”

“Happens more often than you think, doesn’t it?”

“Precisely,” Tangelo said, sitting back down. He stopped looking at her. “Now please, get your judgmental plot out of here. You’re ruining the atmosphere.”

Allure glared at him – but did as he suggested. She stormed out of the bar into the streets of Ponyville. The sun was setting.

“…This definitely wasn’t what Ponyville used to be, I know that,” Allure muttered. “It wasn’t like this.”

Thrackerzod, Bot, and Squeaky appeared. “Things change,” Squeaky said.

“Hard not to think of it as a corruption of our culture. Of our way. Of love. What even was that!?”

“It wasn’t what you wanted. It’s what some people want, though,” Squeaky admitted.

“Well, excuse me if I don’t feel like being all tolerant right now!” She put her hooves to her head. “How in Celestia’s name are you supposed to navigate this mess!?”

The three Sweeties didn’t have an answer for her.

Allure sighed, choosing a random direction and walking away.

“Allure!” Bot called.

“I need some time to think,” Allure said. “You can follow. I’d like you to be there. But… Don’t talk, okay?”

The three of them glanced between each other and nodded. They followed her into the night.

~~~

Vriska and Hastur sat on top of a random building in Ponyville – some sort of office. They couldn’t see much of the city from their vantage point since the building wasn’t very tall. They could make out the Pinkie Emporium, the S-Stars theater, and the trees of the nearest park.

They had left the Festival of Love a while ago, growing bored with the rides the moment they completed the ‘tunnel of love and corndogs.’ Since then, they had just been watching everything from above, both inside and outside of the Festival.

“So many people spending their lives together,” Hastur observed thoughtfully.

“It is normally how us meatspacers do things,” Vriska said. “Meanwhile in your world everything is essentially random on that count.”

“That’s no-”

Vriska held up a hand. “Heard it all before, Yellow. No matter how many times you describe ‘the copulation of the eldritch in the eyes of the beholder’, it still sounds random.”

“But is it really much different here?” Hastur asked. “Meetings are largely by chance, and furthering relationships based on a bunch of seemingly random emotional variables. You just have no higher force bringing you together.”

“…Bah, I want to argue for the purity and choice in love, look what you’ve done to me,” she laughed. “Let’s just skip ahead to the part where we both agree the other is partially right, but I come back with a ‘we don’t have to deal with seventeen time dimensions’ and make your point moot.”

“The eldritch nature of my reality is the largest of all differences so I must concede your final point.”

Vriska kicked her legs in the air, looking down at the streets. “Hey, Hastur. In the Embodiment the idea of coupling, when it does apply, is only seen as temporary.”

“Of course. Given the nature of time and space it is unlikely it could be any other way.”

“Why do you stick around with me then? And no sappy answer, I’ve already heard that one from you.”

Hastur looked into the distance. “At first, it was merely an experiment. I saw Thrackerzod experiencing the ways of mortals and changing because of it. I always had a soft spot for the standard realms and the way they did things, and with Thrackerzod’s change, I decided to see what it could give me. As it turns out, quite a lot more than I was expecting.”

“I’m not exactly a mortal, you know.”

“I figured it would be easier to relate to one not limited to a finite lifespan, similar to myself. We’ve been together for many years of your time, but it still feels like it’s just begun doesn’t it?”

Vriska pursed her lips. “It feels like a bit more than that to me.”

“Oh, I apologize – I made your perception of time seem trivial.”

Vriska rolled her eyes. “Stop it with the fucking apologies. It’s all cool. I was just saying my age is counted in the centuries, yours is counted in bizarre eldritch time that only approximates to millions of years.”

Hastur nodded, looking into the Pinkie Emporium. “A thought has occurred to me, relating to the time we’ve been together.”

“Oh?”

“I know enough of the culture here to understand this isn’t exactly something you discuss openly but it is something I need clarification on in relation to you.”

Vriska smirked. “There may be a lot you don’t know about me, but those aren’t secrets I particularly care about. Ask away!”

“After enough time has passed in a relationship, the man is supposed to, eventually, propose.”

Vriska leaned back, deciding it would be better to be laying down rather than teetering off the edge of a building.

“Vriska?”

“Shut up, thinking,” Vriska said, thoughts and emotions deciding they needed to ruin her cool exterior for once. “…Kanaya did go through with that… If you actually proposed I think I’d say yes. But I also don’t think it’d really work.”

“What makes you say that?”

Vriska sat up. “Neither of our cultures has an equivalent. Trolls were just together whenever it was convenient in any of the four quadrants in all timelines. It was usually just a biological necessity with a relationship thrown in, and a relationship that was intended to be changeable over time. I mean, trolls were rarely allowed to stay with each other for a significant amount of time on Alternia. Not sure how it was on Beforus.”

She turned to Hastur. “And then there’s you, mister time-abyss multiple-dimensional craziness. You don’t have lasting relationships, because your time makes that sort of thing a paradox.”

“And yet, here we are.”

“And this is how we should stay,” Vriska said. “We’re both immortals, Hastur. Subject to immense change. If we really think about it, it’s near impossible for either of us to die. So death would never do us part under any circumstances. And let’s be honest, I’m a fucking bitch who’ll end up ruining something, or at least getting really jealous over your ‘othertime lovers’.”

Hastur nodded slowly. “Thank you for being frank.”

“You’re disappointed?”

“Perhaps… I am unsure.”

“Hastur, we’re not humans, we’re not ponies. Humans may breed like rabbits and basically run the multiverse, but that doesn’t mean the way they perceive things is right. Their ‘high and mighty, our way is perfect’ routine is stupid.” She stood up and grabbed him by something that approximated his collar, grinning. “Everyone has the right to decide their own way. Fuck conventions.”

“Fuck conventions.” Hastur echoed.

“There’s the yellow boy I know and love!” She slung an arm around his neck and grinned. “Let’s get out of here.”

“As you wi- well that’s interesting.”

Nova and Sunburst had just walked out of the theater, laughing very loudly. It was a little hard to hear exactly what they were saying, but it was clear they were having a great time.

Then Nova moved in for the kiss. It landed perfectly. Sunburst didn’t recoil.

“About fucking time,” Vriska commented from their vantage point. “That girl has had so much stress inside her since the Icon incident. It’ll be good to get it out.”

“You think it will last?”

“I don’t know. But at least it’ll be real. Wonder how long it’ll be before she bothers to tell us.”

“Knowing Pinkie, yesterday.”

Vriska chuckled. “Oh yes. By the way, Yellow, would you like to see a movie? I’m sure there’s a sufficiently fucked up production to keep your attention.”

“Or we could go to a showing of G’th’ast’ranaaaaah.”

“Will my mind explode?”

“Probably.”

“That sounds so fucking romantic. TAKE ME AWAY, HASTUR! Sweep me off my feet and eviscerate my skull.”

“Gladly, Thief of Light.” He used his eldritch magic to sweep her off her feet, prompting an uncharacteristic giggle. A moment later, they vanished from the universe.

~~~

Allure walked onward, eventually arriving in one of Ponyville’s parks. It was a simple park – green grass, native Equis Vitis trees, and only a simple cobblestone path. The sun had already set, so a few owls were out and hooting.

She knew Thrackerzod, Squeaky, and Bot were behind her – mostly due to Bot’s servo motors whirring whenever she moved her legs – but they had kept their promise and not said a word the entire time.

She had such good friends. Willing to help her even if they thought she was being crazy… Always by her side…

She sat down in the middle of the cobblestone path and started crying. The three others didn’t say anything – they just pulled her into a hug.

“I love you all,” Allure blurted through her tears. “Who needs a special somepony…?”

“It’s not a need,” Squeaky answered. “It’s a want.”

“But that’s just selfish! Look at me, I’ve been hunting today! I don’t even know what I was expecting! It’s all me, me, me!”

Squeaky held her close. “You didn’t want to hurt or take advantage of anyone. You were pure.”

Allure looked at the ground, heaving. “Was I? Can it ever be pure? I just… I wanted what everyone else had… But not everyone else has that! What was I thinking that I could just waltz in and take it? I… I…” She sniffed. “He was right. I was asking for it.”

“You got unlucky,” Thrackerzod said.

“…Maybe I got lucky,” Allure said, looking at her hooves. “I got someone to scare me. Had they been slower… I could have gotten trapped. I was desperate…” the tears began to well up again. “Why does this have to be such a mess!?”

“Scans suggest it’s just part of life,” Bot suggested with a sad beep.

Allure shook her head. “Yeah… Life… A complicated mess that’s even more complicated for us…” She looked into the distance.

“But we’re here.” Squeaky said with a smile. “And we can make it just a little simpler.”

Allure looked at the three of them – and laughed. “I’m an idiot.”

Thrackerzod raised an eyebrow. “Finally.”

“Not because of the reason you want, Thrackerzod – though yes we were being kinda stupid all day. I’ve already learned this lesson! Screw it, who needs a special somepony? I have you girls!” She pulled them all into a hug. “And all the other Sweeties, and Applebloom, and Scootaloo, and all my friends. That’ll be enough. That should be more than enough.”

“YAY!” Bot declared.

“I may feel like I want someone in my life, but that’s just a want. Just a want. Not a need. Never a need. It shouldn’t control me.”

Squeaky smiled. “If that works for you.”

“It’s been working like that all this time! I just forgot for today!” She hit herself in the side of her head. “Allure.exe threw an exception.”

Bot found this hilarious and started laughing uncontrollably.

“I’m glad you’ve come to see the failings in mortal courtship rituals,” Thrackerzod said. “Perhaps now you will come to appreciate the rest of your practices as equally nonsensical.”

“Don’t count on it,” Allure said, wiping her eyes and smiling.

Bot looked at her, confused. “Allure, why are you sobbing and smiling at the same time?”

Allure blinked. “I’m not sobbing, it was just a litt-” She heard it. Actual sobbing coming from a nearby bush – sobbing that definitely wasn’t hers. She carefully approached the bush and peeled apart its branches with her magic.

There was a human girl of about four in there with pale skin, violet eyes, and white hair. She wore nothing on her body and had numerous scratches all over her, some that clearly weren’t from the bush. Far too large.

Allure put on a comforting smile, speaking in a hushed tone. “Don’t worry, I’m going to get you out of there…” With her magic, she carefully peeled the branches of the bush away, releasing the girl within. She levitated the girl out slowly, setting her on the soft grass. She looked to Thrackerzod. “Make a dress for her.”

Thrackerzod nodded, turning away to make the garment out of the child’s sight.

Allure turned back to her. “Hey there,” she said, barely more than a whisper. “We’re going to get you fixed up, okay?”

The girl nodded slowly, the fear in her eyes slowly dying down.

“I’m Allure, what’s your name?”

The girl looked away, as if ashamed.

Allure shook her head. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want.” Thrackerzod levitated a simple black dress over to Allure. Allure gave it to the girl.

The girl wasn’t sure what to make of the small dress. She held it in her hands, staring at it.

“…Do you want help?” Allure asked.

The girl nodded slowly.

Allure levitated the dress over the girl’s body, delicately moving her arms through the sleeves, careful not to move anything too fast as to startle her. The girl marveled at the fabric on her body.

She’s never worn anything before. Allure realized. She sighed. “We don’t have shoes for you right now… Do you want me to carry you with magic, or would you like to get on my back?”

The girl looked away for a few seconds. Allure gave her time to process - and she eventually turned back and shakily pointed at Allure’s back. Allure smiled, slowly levitating the girl and setting her down. “It’ll be a little bu-”

The girl grabbed hold of Allure’s mane like it was her lifeline, burying her face in Allure’s pink and purple curls. Allure’s thought process stopped working for a few seconds as she was overcome with a deep, primal urge to protect this child with everything she had.

“The hospital’s not far,” Allure told the others. “She doesn’t look to be hurt badly… We’ll walk.”

The Sweeties nodded.

Allure began to feel the girl’s tears seep through her mane. She struggled to keep any sort of composure. What had happened to this child?

~~~

Applejack and Jotaro were sitting on a bench while most the rest of the extended family partook in a gigantic bonfire to end the Festival of Love.

“Sometimes Ah wonder how they can all have so much energy.”

Jotaro’s only response to this was a very relaxed shrug.

“Ah’ve been doin’ stuff all day, how do they expect me to jump around a bonfire without passin’ out or breakin’ somethin’. ...Or fallin’ into the fire, there’s that too.”

“We are missing out on marshmallows.”

“Toasted marshmallows are a treat,” Applejack admitted, looking into the community fire, spotting Barley and Jona quickly having some father-daughter bonding time over an elaborately constructed s’more.

Applejack smiled. “Ah think we’ve hit the good life, huh Jotaro?”

Jotaro let a soft smirk come to his face. It was all the response needed.

“Help me out here. Ah’m tryin’ to figure out what to call you. How exactly are we related…?”

Jotaro knew this was going to get complicated.

“Let’s see. Helm is my son-in-law, so the rest of his siblings are the in-laws, or the siblings-in-law or somethin’. Paradigm’s with Shizuka, makin’ Shizuka my son-in-law’s sister-in-law. So Ah’m thinking daughter-in-law-in-law.”

“Yare yare daze…”

“Holly’s technically Shizuka’s sister, so she’s another daughter-in-law-in-law, sorta.”

“I think your words have stopped making sense.”

“And you are Holly’s son, so that makes you my… grand-nephew-in-law-in-law.”

“I think the translator is compensating for words that don’t exist,” Jotaro commented.

“Eh, probably, Ah don’t pretend to understand how that works. All Ah know is that I can call you a grand-nephew. Which is quite a hoot! You’re slightly older than Ah am!”

“The family is only going to grow,” Jotaro said, leaning back. “Josuke’s going to pick someone eventually. Jolyne’s really close. And then there’s Jordan and Joanne…”

“How are your little twins?”

“Cheerful as always. I’ve been watching them for signs of a Stand, but nothing has shown so far.” He looked into the fire. “They almost didn’t exist.”

“Now don’t go dwellin’ on that - you ain’t the Jotaro shown in those books.”

Jotaro nodded.

“Don’t hang up over what might have been, big guy. What matters is that you didn’t go down that road. Now you and Marina have a beautiful family that Ah’m glad to welcome to the Apple Family table at any time.”

Jotaro sat back. “You’re going to need a big table.”

“Ah’ve got a big farm and a knack for setting up family reunions.”

“Really?” he asked, incredulously.

“...That show only showed one of the reunions Ah set up and you know it.”

Jotaro folded his arms. “You’ll have to prove your skill to me.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Yes.”

“Right then. Ah’m schedulin’ a family reunion. And everyone from the Apples to the Royals to the Joestars are comin’. Heck, get Iroh in on it as well, Corea’s godfather and all. Oh, and the Pies are distantly related, Ah’m sure Pinkie would love it.”

“Yare yare daze…”

“You’re a redundant one, you know that?”

Jotaro nodded, already anticipating a truly absurd family reunion. He may not have been much of a people person, but even he could appreciate a get-together of that magnitude. The family just kept growing and growing...

~~~

The girl had refused to leave Allure’s back, so Doctor Redheart had been forced to perform the examination with her holding onto Allure. Redheart was understanding – clearly the girl had been through a lot. Letting her hold onto her savior was the least she could do.

“Is she okay?” Allure asked.

“Her body has been through a lot,” Redheart said. “There’s more than just scratches – there’s evidence of deep cuts, probing, injections, and broken bones. At the moment though, everything about her is healthy beside an empty stomach. She’s even got stable magic levels.”

Bot dinged, producing a cookie from one of her slots. She handed it to the girl, who devoured it ravenously.

“Clearly, we’ll have to get her better food,” Allure said. “Any chance of finding out who she is?”

“Normally I’d say yes, but something strange came up in the checkup.” Redheart pointed at a screen. “We have determined that the matter in every universe vibrates with a specific signature unique to that universe and that universe alone. After enough time in a different universe, this vibration is replaced with the current universe’s, but that takes a while.” She pointed at the vibration pattern on the screen. “We have no idea what this one is. And the computer here has access to the full Directory.”

“So…?”

“So she hasn’t been in our world long… And she’s from a world outside our scope,” Redheart said. “There are no missing persons reports matching her description, and I don’t expect the DNA scans are going to turn up anything.” She looked at the girl with sadness in her eyes. “We have no idea who she is and no way to get her home.”

The girl tensed at those words.

Allure tried to stand tall – but she was still a short pony, so she just looked cute. “I’ll take her, then. Until we find her home, I’ll protect her.”

“What if we never find it?” Squeaky asked.

“Then I’ll protect her forever,” Allure asserted.

“…You just met he-”

“Squeaky, I’m certain of this,” Allure said, turning her head to glance at the girl on her back. “…I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

The girl looked at Allure. She rushed her and hugged her neck. This made Allure feel like she was choking, but she didn’t care – she let it happen.

“Normally I’d have to put you through a court and everything to approve this,” Redheart said. “But I think I’ll just call Eve, she’s sure to make the process near-instant for you.”

“Thank you,” Allure said.

“You can wait in the lobby while I make the call, mmkay?”

“Right,” Allure said. Then she heard the girl’s stomach rumble. “We need to get her food…”

“We can do that,” Squeaky said, saluting. “You can wait here with her.”

Allure smiled. “Thanks. …I’m giving out a lot of thank yous today.”

“It is the way of your people,” Thrackerzod observed. The three of them vanished in a puff of magic.

Allure took the girl to the waiting room. It was filled with empty couches and chairs since few people were here this late at night. “…Can I sit down?” Allure asked.

The girl reluctantly got off of Allure, allowing the unicorn to sit down on one of the couches. The girl sat next to her, leaning in as close as she could. Allure put a hoof in her hair.

Allure let out a sigh of contentment.

She opened her eyes when a door across the room opened, revealing none other than Princess Cadence and her youngest child, a blue unicorn colt by the name of Frigid.

“Hey mom, lookit! Allure!”

“Quiet, Frigid, we don’t want to be loud,” Cadence said.

“…Why?”

Cadence pointed at the girl. “Because she’d like it that way.”

Frigid walked up to them. “Hi,” he said, trying to be quiet. “I’m Frigid!”

To her credit, the girl didn’t flinch away. She seemed interested in his presence.

“What’s your name?”

The girl recoiled, looking down in shame.

“Oh… I’m sorry. Do you not have one?”

The girl shook her head.

Allure looked at her. “I’ll give you one soon, I just need to think. How does that sound to you?”

The girl looked at Cadence, her frown lessening. “…Good,” she spoke with a raspy, dry voice.

“Wow, you sound awesome,” Frigid said. “Like some ice creature. I like ice.”

The girl looked at Frigid again, clearly unsure of what to make of him.

Cadence spoke up. “Frigid, how about you go play with your game? I’m sure she’ll want to play later, but Allure and I need to talk for a moment.”

“Oh… Okay!” He took out a handheld console and went to a nearby chair.

Cadence turned to Allure. Allure smiled nervously. “So, what’s the Princess of Love got to say to me?”

“I’ve been watching you,” Cadence said.

“…That’s creepy, but it also makes sense.”

“You weren’t exactly being subtle. It was easy for me to see what was going on in the Festival. I was planning on eventually offering my assistance after you’d run through your options – that is my job, after all – but I see you’ve found something else.”

“Yeah… I don’t want your help right now. About an hour ago I would have.”

Cadence looked at her and smiled. “…Love is a complicated thing, Allure. There are many different varieties. What you experienced today? That was a love of things – a love of pleasures. I don’t even consider that real love, myself.” She looked into the distance, pained. “I remember when that style of ‘love’ was rare. Most ponies genuinely wanted to care for each other, to forge a relationship on actually knowing each other rather than simply doing it because they had a desire. It’s cheapened the whole thing – and resulted in many ponies like you growing disillusioned with love at all.” She smiled. “I want you to know, what Tangelo was offering? That wasn’t really love. That was… it was like a hayburger. You love the hayburger because it tastes good. That’s it.”

“…What is love, then?” Allure asked.

Cadence’s expression took on a serious tone. “There are four major flavors of it. You’re most familiar with the love between friends. Eve may consider that her domain, but I have my own hoof in it as well. The bond between ponies who are close to each other is the one that forms beautiful groups who can often act as one unit. It’s perhaps the most beautiful of all the loves because of its resilience, but only when done right. Then there’s the love everyone talks about – erotic, romantic love, the love between two individuals who have hopes of spending eternity together. It is the love driven forward by biology and culture almost universally – and the one almost everyone thinks of. Even those who aren’t interested in love think that erotic love is all there is. As a married mare I understand that it’s the most fulfilling relationship possible, a closeness that cannot be intruded on by others, but the other loves are not only important, but provide something plain romance cannot. An obsession with it isn’t healthy, and yet here we are where so many are so obsessed they’re replacing it with a pale shadow…”

Allure nodded. “You said there were four?”

“The third is reverential love – the kind Rev feels for her god, or how many people feel about Celestia – even more now that she’s gone. A deep, unwavering connection of faith, understanding. A love by which people define their entire lives. It is the strongest of the forms, but also the hardest to pin down. And then there’s the love I think you’ll appreciate – familial.”

Allure looked at the girl.

“Sisters. Brothers. Mothers. Fathers. The love that comes from a family has its own flavor – different from friendship, different from romance. It is, in many ways, just a love for what is familiar and what one has grown accustomed to. It is the love that is least likely to be broken. It is uncommon for a mother to abandon her children, or for a brother to never forgive a sister.” Cadence smiled at Allure. “I think that is the love you’ve always appreciated more than anything.”

Allure thought of Renee, a big smile coming to her face. “…Yeah. You’re right.”

Cadence gestured toward the girl. “In that case… Take this girl as your own, Allure. Fate has dropped her on your doorstep. Show her the power of familial love.”

Allure’s expression became serious. “I will, Cadence.”

“Glad to hear it,” Cadence said. “Now, I think your girl is very interested in the game Frigid is playing with. How about we call him over?”

Allure noticed that the girl was staring at Frigid’s game across the room in curiosity. “Yeah. Hey, Frigid. Come over here would you? Bring your game.”

Frigid looked up and nodded, bringing the handheld over. The girl leaned to take a look at the screen. Frigid began to explain what the game was all about and how it worked.

Cadence and Allure smiled. “And she already has a friend,” Allure said. “A good start for her.”

Cadence nodded, saying nothing.

Thrackerzod and the rest returned with far too much food and desserts. “IT IS PARTY TIME!” Bot decreed.

The girl flinched – but quickly decided being afraid wasn’t worth it. There was too much food. She rushed and began to dig in.

Frigid glanced at his mother with a questioning expression.

“Go ahead. Eat as much as you want. Today only,” Cadence said with a playful smile.

“Thanks mom!” Frigid said, running off.

The girl stopped eating for a moment. She turned to look at Allure. “…Mom?”

“…Yes. If you want,” Allure said, beaming.

The girl smiled for the first time. “…Mom.”

Allure couldn’t stop herself. Tears started rolling down her cheeks.

Cadence put a hoof around her. “It’s going to be quite a journey for you, Allure.”

“I… I know.”

“You’ll do great.”

“…Thank you.”

~~~

Renee and Daniel looked from Nova to Sunburst. The latter two of them were blushing furiously.

“Dears, calm down, it’s not like I’m going to disprove of your relationship,” Renee said, raising an eyebrow. “I am quite happy for you.”

“I sense a but,” Nova commented.

Daniel smirked. “Oh, there’s a but all right.”

“Yes. The ‘but’ is I can’t have this interfering with your work,” Renee said. “In Nova’s case that’s no issue – it’s a rare mission where she’s gone more than a day. But Sunburst, you have to disappear for multiple days every week to survey universes. I’m just concerned you might start ‘skipping days’ to be with your marefriend.”

“I-I promise I won’t skip!”

Renee smirked. “Love can make you really, really stupid at times.” She glanced at Daniel.

“Let’s not go there right now,” Daniel said.

Renee fixed him with a knowing glance. “Fair. The point is, Sunburst, right now you’re certain you’ll be able to do your job effectively. And I believe that you believe that. But give it a month or so and you’ll start getting truly obsessive over each other. Daniel and I were lucky – we got to be obsessive and work together a lot of the time. There were a lot of laws written together.”

“It seemed to help, actually,” Daniel said. “Two people who got each other bouncing ideas back and forth until… Well I was going to say perfection but that’s a little arrogant.”

“Go ahead and say perfection. It’s the perfect word.”

“Please tell me we’re not going to turn into this,” Nova gestured at the two of them.

“It’s inevitable!” Renee decreed.

“Greeeeat…”

“So what are you going to do?” Sunburst asked.

“Oh, nothing. Yet.” Renee grinned evilly. “I just want you to know the moment you start skipping out I’ll start initiating punishments. On both of you. If you remember, I have the power to choose where you go on your missions. I can get creative.”

“Ah. I see,” Sunburst shifted awkwardly.

“Otherwise I hope you two enjoy each other!” Renee chuckled.

“Just remember to beware the boss,” Daniel added.

“Beware the boss… I rather like that.”

Nova facehooved. “…Thanks Renee.”

“Don’t mention it! Now shoo, I’m sure you have work to do.”

“Actually, our teams are waiting outside to surprise us with a party,” Nova said. “Pinkie and Sunny have joined forces. There is no escape.”

Renee smirked. “Well, if I get a break I might drop in. You best not keep them waiting any longer, you know how Pinkie is with waiting.”

Nova laughed uneasily. “Yeah…”

“S-surprise party?” Sunburst finally registered.

Nova pecked him on the cheek. “Just go with it.” She levitated him out the door first, right into the blast zone of a party cannon.

“AUGH!” He screamed.

“…They knew,” Sunny said, looking to Pinkie. “I thought this was supposed to be a surprise.”

Pinkie shrugged. “Eh, at least one of them was surprised. …CONGRATULATIONS YOU TWO!” She pulled them into a big hug and entered one of her ‘I’m so happy for my friends’ rants that probably wouldn’t end for a couple minutes. The door closed, cutting off the sound of party.

Daniel scratched Renee behind the ear. “You want to go out there?”

“Mmm, yes… How many people are waiting for us today?”

“Not many. We ha- oh. A request from Allure just came in. Says she has a surprise for you.”

“Oh now this I have to see,” Renee said. “Beam her in!”

Allure appeared in a blue teleport effect. “Guess what Renee?”

“What?”

Allure stepped to the side, revealing a human girl in a soft black dress. “Renee, this is Minna. Your niece.”

“…My niece.”

“Your niece.”

Minna smiled awkwardly. “…Hi, Renee.” Her voice was quiet and slightly raspy, but also absolutely precious.

“Aren’t you the most adorable thing in the world!” Renee shouted, rushing toward Minna and swooping her into a hug. To her credit, Minna only flinched slightly. “I am going to spoil you rotten. Renee and Minna, out on the town, enjoying the finer things in life!”

“O…kay…” Minna said, struggling against Renee’s hooves.

Renee smiled, putting Minna down. “Oh, I’m sorry if I startled you, dear. I was excited. See, Daniel and I don’t have any children – we’re a bit too busy, unfortunately. But you are just the perfect little thing.”

“…Will there be ice cream?”

“Yes, there will be ice cream.”

Minna grinned. “Yay.”

“Stars, you sound like Flutterfree back in the day… That’s a compliment. Oh, say hi to your uncle Daniel.”

Minna looked up at Daniel. “…Hi.”

Daniel kneeled down and smiled. “Hello, Minna. What do you like?”

Minna pointed at Allure.

“So precious…” Renee said, holding a hoof to her heart. “Allure, where did you find her?”

“In a bush. Scratched, hurt, and scared,” Allure said, nuzzling her. “She’s from an unknown universe. She’s staying with me. At first… I thought I would take her home when we found it.”

Minna clutched Allure’s leg.

“I doubt she’ll want to go when you find her home,” Renee said, beaming.

Allure nodded. “From what little I’ve gotten from her, it wasn’t a nice place.”

“Allure, look at you. So… Oh, so grown up.”

“Renee…”

“Shh. You’re always my little sister.”

Allure smiled. “Yeah… Yeah I am.”

“Daniel, cancel our dinner tonight. We’re going to spend some time with our niece. Get to know her a little better.”

Daniel nodded. “That sound good, Minna?”

Minna beamed. “Yep!”

“There also happens to be a party right outside – would you like to see that?” Renee asked. “It’ll be a little loud.”

“…I’ll try it,” Minna said, smiling innocently.

“Right through this door~!” Renee said in a sing-song voice, walking toward the door.

Pinkie opened it. “Hi! Come on in! All are welcome!” She shoved Allure, Renee, and Daniel through before they could react. She paused a moment to look at Minna.

“That’s quite the fire you have in those eyes, Minna,” Pinkie said, messing up her hair with a hoof. “You’ll have to watch that as you get older.”

Minna looked at her in confusion.

Pinkie looked at her with a serious expression. “You’re a special girl, don’t forget that. Be careful. …I’m sorry.” The bouncy smile returned. “Now it’s time to introduce you to cake!”

Minna nodded. “…Sure!”

They left to enjoy the party.

Comments

[Blaster M]

This chapter:

[prism heart]

I sense Minna will be a character of significance to the story. That is all.

[Ranun]

Be careful. …I’m sorry.

Either it's about what happened to her, or more likely about what is to happen in the future.
Is Allure going to be okay ?

[Efadd]

Pinkie looked at her with a serious expression. “You’re a special girl, don’t forget that. Be careful. …I’m sorry.” The bouncy smile returned. “Now it’s time to introduce you to cake!”

Pinkie being serious at a party??? Take bucking note!

[wizard0209]

Pinkie looked at her with a serious expression. “You’re a special girl, don’t forget that. Be careful. …I’m sorry.” The bouncy smile returned. “Now it’s time to introduce you to cake!”

and the award for the most out-of-nowhere ominous line goes to...

[Blaze rod]

Beanis Cinematic Universe is canon then it seems.

[the other sans]

Because I asked you too

1. To.

Definitely a roller coaster of emotions here. Guess Minnaren't wondering what our new characters purpose in the story is going to be about. Couple that with a multiversal story of expectations and you'll get an Allure to read it till the end.

[GMBlackjack]

9312393
Blame FanOfMostEverything for that.

-GM, master of blame game.

[Blaze rod]

The girl grabbed hold of Allure’s mane like it was her lifeline, burying her face in Allure’s pink and purple curls. Allure’s thought process stopped working for a few seconds as she was overcome with a deep, primal urge to protect this child with everything she had.

Allure tried to stand tall – but she was still a short pony, so she just looked cute. “I’ll take her, then. Until we find her home, I’ll protect her.”

“What if we never find it?” Squeaky asked.

“Then I’ll protect her forever,” Allure asserted.

She definitely got infected with Ka there. No clue who this girl is, so we'll see if it's a good or a bad thing.

[the other sans]

9312769
All we can say is Gambate Minna!

[Keywii_Cookies55]

It's interesting to see these earlier chapters every so often. The set up to the eventual payoff. This chapter in particular is an interesting one. ^-^

[FanOfMostEverything]

The Royal/Apple/Joestar family is an unwieldy thing of wonder and hilarity. There's probably someone in there who's their own grandparent. I can only imagine how that reunion will turn out.
Also, nice to see Applejack and Cadence get a chance to do things in this story.

“Discord, apple blaster.”

Hmm. The act of commanding a vastly more powerful, monstrous friend makes me think of Pokémon, but the nonsensical nature of the command brings Star Butterfly to mind. Either way, an amusing mental image.
... I have to assume they haven't found a Pokémon universe yet. Surely Flutterfree would've brought some living souvenirs back.

Fascinating take on the pony romantic and reproductive drives. And the human ones for that matter! It certainly helps explain why we infest so much of the multiverse; we insist on filling the available space.

Lovely moments with couples new and old, along withh a consequence of the MU's growth and cultural amalgamation. As for Minna... yeah, she rings some alarm bells, but with that family, I think she'll grow up right. (And at least Allure didn't name her after the concept of familial love. Storge isn't a good name for a child of any species.)

Glad I caught up. (Last chapter was wonderfully, nostalgically meta.) Looking forward to more.

9312393 9312686
Blame... or thank?

[GMBlackjack]

9319544

... I have to assume they haven't found a Pokémon universe yet. Surely Flutterfree would've brought some living souvenirs back.

The Merodi have not officially encountered any, but the Collector mentioned one during the clipshow. So did the Yith interviewed at the start of this arc.

-GM, master of THE GREAT RACE OF YITH.

[EnderHooves]

9312393
9312686
It took me a bit to realize, and oh my god!! This is both terrible and hilarious. Things that are made of beans that should most definitely Not be made of beans. So Oversaturated is canon to this multiverse, but is SOTS canon to theirs?

[GMBlackjack]

9539737
That's a complicated question, and FanOfMostEverything is probably better suited to answer it than me, so I'm going to reply to him as well on this little comment.
9319544
Still not thanking you.

Anyway, on Oversaturaiton's canonicity... The bizarre thing is that there are technically TWO Oversaturated universes in SotS. One that's a bit more future-oriented (the one you see in the League of Sweetie Belles if you bother to check it out) and on that is more past-oriented (first mentioned in the Everyman chapter). I THINK the future-oriented one accepts all Oversaturated World Extended Universe stuff as real, so it COULD be.

COULD.

I don't know for sure. Hence why Fan is pinged.

-GM, master of fans.

[FanOfMostEverything]

9539737
Short answer, probably no. Long answer, possibly yes. There's a reason I set the official first contact seen in Sombra's Clipshow a fair number of years in Earth Shimmer's future. I don't anticipate integrating the official Oversaturated World with the wondrous but incredibly complex multiverse of SotS (not least because it's getting hard enough to introduce people to it as it is without involving a story that's at 1.1 megawords and climbing.) Still, if I do decide to declare that an Earth Shimmer is in fact the Earth Shimmer, then the option remains on the table. Even the story furthest in the canon timeline would still be before official contact with the Merodi. (Though I can only imagine how many dates with Flash the MU will make Ditzy postpone.)

Also, an official crossover would make that Sunset capable of canonically learning who's to blame for making her universe unusually fragile with regards to magical influxes, and that seems less than wise.

I wouldn't hurt you. Not like I could leave the universe to do so.

I have an analogue in that universe. It's him I'm worried about.

[GMBlackjack]

9540813
So what you're saying is I need a somewhat smaller story that can introduce people to the multiverse without getting too much to handle?

...Hmm...

I could do that... Come summer... If I get a good idea...

-GM, master of churning hamster wheels.

[Osiris Prime]

Maud and Renee are married

Uh what? I must have missed that.

“You need to watch The Snack, it’ll all make sense,” Corona said. “It’s one of those things you really can’t explain. Ever. At all.”

Yeah, Kevin Bacon is just unparalleled.

Tangelo reached for another delectable piece of slightly spicy meat, only to find there was none. He stood up. “It appears we’re out of wings, Allure.”

You know, I keep forgetting meat is kind of something they probably shouldn't really be eating in reasonable quantities. They just make it so unassuming.

I put off continuing this for too long, but it also feels good to have a big chunk of awesomeness to go through.

[GMBlackjack]

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Not too EACH OTHER.
Renee is married to Daniel.
Maud is... uh... someone I never name. Probably Mud Briar, though this was written before the episode came out.

-GM, master of names.

[AppleTank]

Haha! Beans!

I helped, twice.

[omegasnowfall]

MCS: "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S: MCS means Marx soul screams.

[JetstreamGW]

“Merida!” Olivia shouted. “You just made me think of-”

Were you referencing Pixar confusingly, or did you mean "mierda?"

[kistecool]

Rule of Three , a voice entered her head. Allure nodded – of course. Then again, trying to invoke a rule of ka was likely to get an exception…

I just realized... TVTropes is basically a handbook to the multiverse for them. Wow. I guess it was good for something after all.
And the list of tropes for any particular subject is a guide to what people might feel comfortable in there!

[keybounce]

“Nineteen.” Bot blinked.

“Of freaking course,” Thrackerzod muttered. “How many nineteens is that now, Bot?”

“One hundred and ninety.”

“I’m getting really tired of that number showing up everywhere…”

Tee hee. We, the readers, haven't had that many 19's tossed at us, but now we know that in-universe it is significant.

“Joke rated four out of ten,” Bot decreed. “Not worth it.”

Bot, you should have rated it 19 out of 100 :-)

One hundred and ninety is, of course, 19*10. More interesting would have been 361 of them.

[keybounce]

10360291
Right, I forgot that. Thank you for that reminder.

... And thinking back to that: Heck, re-reading that: ... Allure as a supervillain blowing up the world as plan B? Fluttershy and Discord insisting "not us"? ... "The snack" for Lieshy? ... Maybe I read that chapter a little too fast.

Hmm. Girl gets on Allure, Allure has a need to protect. Girl gets on Alushy, Alushy has a need to protect.
*HMM* ...
What is this girl?
From a distant/unknown universe.
Hmm ... Pinkie knows. Pinkie _KNOWS_.