Taking Potshots: Crackshipping Rainbow Dash and Adagio Dazzle

by bahatumay

Chapter 4

Rainbow set her tray down at the lunch table. “She’s paintballing!” she blurted.

“She’s what now?” Fluttershy asked.

“Who's what, now?” Rarity asked.

“She’s paintballing. That’s what Adagio was doing.”

“Paint, balling?” Rarity repeated the unfamiliar phrase. “As opposed to paint… painting?”

“Ooh, that’s fun,” Applejack said, brightening as she recognized the term. “Mac and his buddies used to be into that.” She looked up, as if trying to remember something. “Think he’s still got the stuff, still, somewhere,” she murmured.

“That can’t be all it is, though,” Rainbow insisted. “There’s gotta be more to it! I just know it!”

“Maybe she just enjoys it?” Fluttershy suggested. “Everyone needs a hobby.”

“Yeah. Now that she’s not trying to take over the world, she’s probably bored,” Sonata added. “I mean, even brushing your hair isn't as fun without singing, and since I can't sing anymore I had to try something new. Pinkie Pie taught me to make cookies.”

“Uh-huh! They made great street hockey pucks,” Pinkie said brightly.

Rainbow ignored her. “I’m gonna have to infiltrate it. All I need is the gear.”

“But you've never paintballed before,” Fluttershy pointed out.

Rainbow briefly buffed her nails against her shirt. “Eh, my natural talent and athleticism will more than make up for that.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “I'm sure,” she deadpanned. Her tone softened only slightly as she added, “Mac would probably lend you his stuff if you asked, though.”

“Sweet!” Rainbow rubbed her hands together. “This'll be awesome!”

“Whatever you say, Calamity Rainbow,” Applejack said flatly.

---

Rainbow soon discovered that her previous boast may have been a little bit too presumptuous. While everyone else seemed to have protective gear or at the very least, long shirts; she did not. Mac's protective gear had been much too big for her. So she'd had to improvise.

Thus it was that Rainbow Dash walked into the arena, holding a gun as old as—if not older than—some of the youngest players, wearing her skateboarding pads for protection and skating shoes on her feet.

She pointedly ignored their stares and chuckles. Part of her (that was not her wallet) was definitely glad they’d required her to rent a helmet, to hide her face. But she'd show them.

The match soon started. They got a countdown to get into position, and Rainbow took full advantage of this, sprinting away to the edges of the arena. She could see other people, wearing bands of the opposing color, following her, going out to the edges, probably trying to score an early hit. She grinned, her athlete’s mind easily keeping track of their positions as if they were defenders trying to chase her down on the soccer field. Her coach called it ‘situational awareness’.

She just called it ‘natural talent’.

By the time the countdown ended, Rainbow Dash was long gone. She smirked as she hid behind a tree, gun raised up by her face as if she were a secret agent from a movie.

At the tone, the arena exploded in a flurry of activity and paintballs exploding. Rainbow felt that familiar rush she got with her regular sporting events. It was loud and cacophonous and actually a lot of fun. And she'd barely just started.

She ducked around, watching as people furtively poked their heads out. One made the mistake of stepping from cover. A triumphant smirk crossed her face. She raised her gun, took careful aim, and pulled the trigger.

But nothing happened.

Rainbow glared. She shook her weapon and tried again. Still nothing.

Scowling, she ducked back for cover just as he spotted her. Paintballs exploded against the rock she was hiding behind, and Rainbow was slightly stunned. The paint splatters looked much bigger in person. She grimaced, feeling dreadfully exposed.

Fortunately for Rainbow Dash, shooting at her left him susceptible… and distracted. She heard him cry out as another player tagged him. She grinned maliciously as she darted away.

Her natural agility kept her always moving, and she was a difficult target to hit. Somehow, she managed to avoid detection until the end of the game. The shots grew fewer and longer between, until finally she couldn't hear any at all. Had that been the end? Curious, she stepped out from cover…

And took a paintball right to her chest.

“Ow!” She looked up incredulously at Adagio, for it had been she who had fired the shot. “Ow!” she repeated, reaching up to rub at the impact site.

Adagio Dazzle walked up. “Not bad,” she said, “for a maggot.”

Rainbow narrowed her eyes. Still, there was no reason she couldn't be polite. “Yeah. Thanks. Not bad for not having a working gun.”

Polite-ish, anyway.

Adagio squinted at the gauge, and took the gun from Rainbow’s hands. She unscrewed the gas tank and her eyes widened as she didn’t hear a hiss. “You went through the match without any CO₂?”

“I needed air?” Rainbow asked. So that’s what Mac had meant when he said his tanks might need a refill. She’d thought he was talking about his truck.

Adagio looked askance at her. “Really? You didn't know that?”

“First time,” Rainbow shrugged.

Adagio rolled her eyes. “And I thought Sonata was dumb.”

“Hey!” Rainbow protested.

Adagio ignored her, and continued examining the gun. She looked back up at Rainbow, then turned back around. “Walk with me,” she said over her shoulder.

“What are you doing?” Rainbow asked as they left the arena and arrived at Adagio’s locker. “Hey, careful, I borrowed that!”

“Call it morbid curiosity,” Adagio said loftily, retrieving a new gas tank from her locker and screwing it into the back of Rainbow's gun, “but I want to see how you do with, you know, adequate equipment.” She paused, cast a judgmental eye across Rainbow's outfit, smirked…

Her eyes narrowed, and then widened. “You're not wearing padding?”

Rainbow shook her head. “Are you?” she asked.

Adagio set the gun down and flipped her shirt up, revealing tight ribs of foam padding all across her front and up her ribs; like the underpadding that some lacrosse goalies wore, but thicker and covered in vinyl. It was tight and form fitting, and now that Rainbow thought about it, it helped accentuate her cleavage. That was probably cheating. Somehow.

Adagio grinned. “Like what you see?”

Rainbow shrugged, not wanting to answer.

“Sorry, only have the one.” Adagio finally put her shirt back down, then looked back towards Rainbow’s weapon. She adjusted the pressure, glanced at the gauge, then turned around and fired a test shot that exploded inches from the face of a younger participant, who squealed in fright and tumbled backwards, tripping over his own shoes.

Adagio chuckled and held the gun out for Rainbow. “See you out there in a few,” she said, winking.

“Now that I can actually shoot you, you'd better watch your butt,” Rainbow said, snatching the gun back.

“Nah,” Adagio said. “I'll let you watch my butt for me.” She ran her tongue across the front of her teeth and turned and strutted away, swaying her hips.

Rainbow watched her leave, scowling. She scowled even harder as she realized that she was glaring at Adagio’s butt, just like the siren had wanted. She shook her head and hefted her gun. She would be ready. Adagio would be going down.

---

The funny thing about paintballing is that it's a game based on both skill and luck. Sometimes players won with their skill.

And this time, Rainbow just so happened to peek over the edge of a rock and come face to glutes with Adagio Dazzle. A cold smile flitted across her face as she raised her weapon.

Adagio’s squeal could be heard across the whole field.

“Ha!” Rainbow crowed. “The queen has been deth- ow! He-! Ow! What th-!”

For in her triumphant moment, she had forgotten that she was still, for all intents and purposes, in a war zone. The other players had not, though; and she was hit by no fewer than three other players at once.

The two disqualified girls started their trek back to the outside. Rainbow couldn't keep a smirk off her face.

Adagio noticed. “Beginner’s luck,” she spat.

“That sounds like you want a rematch.”

“You bet your training bra I do.”

Rainbow narrowed her eyes and hefted her gun. “Good. I'll be waiting.”

Comments

[Lore Horse]

“Whatever you say, Calamity Rainbow,” Applejack said flatly.

Love the name. I would have said Calamity Dash myself, but that's just me.