• Published 14th Aug 2017
  • 2,568 Views, 72 Comments

Taking Potshots: Crackshipping Rainbow Dash and Adagio Dazzle - bahatumay



Rainbow Dash sees Adagio Dazzle and knows she's up to something. Things spiral out of control.

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Chapter 3

Fourteen… fifteen. Rainbow looked over and saw the same alleyway as the evening she was skateboarding. She nodded. Now she knew which door to try. She moved three doors down and tried to open it.

It was locked.

Frowning, she took a step back and examined the door. A large vinyl sign was emblazoned across the door.

The Warzone

Rainbow clenched her fist. She knew it! Adagio was gearing up for war! She had to get in there and stop her, even if she didn’t have her guitar to pony up. She’d figure something out.

But how would she break in? Perhaps she could call Pinkie?

Rainbow quickly discarded that idea. She’d be too loud. She’d get them in, yes; but she’d also get them caught, and Rainbow Dash had no desire to end up on the evening news with Pinkie. Pinkie would have to stay out of this. She paced in front of the door, thinking. How could she get in?

She jumped as the door crashed open, and she raised her fists to defend herself as someone came out, taking out the trash. He stopped and raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“Trying to get inside,” Rainbow answered dumbly.

He blinked. “Why don’t you just go in the front door?”

“I was gonna,” Rainbow said defensively. “I just…” She dropped her hands. “I lost a contact?” she tried.

He looked askance at her, but then he remembered that he wasn’t being paid enough to care that much. He threw the trash bag into the nearby dumpster and walked back inside, letting the door slam shut behind him.

Rainbow snorted and walked around. Once she made it to the front, she realized there was more to the logo. The full sign read differently.

The Warzone: Paintball Arena

Oh. Paintball. That made sense, too. But what was Adagio doing here?

She pulled the door open and walked inside. Her eyes quickly adjusted to the dim light, and she looked around. The place was dimly lit, but little spotlights lit up the posters bearing images of players clad in strange armor that adorned the walls. She looked around, squinting. What was this place?

The guy behind the counter smirked. “First time?”

“Yeah,” Rainbow said.

“It’s great. You know, it’s always free to watch.” He gestured at the large wall of screens. “And if you want to join, we’ve got great deals on gear packages.”

Spare me, Rainbow thought. She walked over to the screens. She watched.

And to her surprise, she found herself entertained. They had been divided up into two teams, distinguishable only by the colored armbands every player wore on their wrists. It was a fast-paced game, with players running and dodging explosions of paint.

But one player stood out. She was ruthless, with an air of complete control. Other players scampered and ran; she seemed to know exactly where they’d be. She wore a dark hoodie, and black cargo pants. Her gloves were black, and Rainbow found herself wondering if she were actually a cybernetic being from the future sent back to tag people with paint. It wasn’t long before there were only three left, with two players on a team against the Terminatress.

They didn’t stand a chance.

One took the paintball right to his chest. He hadn’t even seen her hiding in the fake tree above.

She descended with a graceful backflip, landing in a three point stance. Rainbow Dash crinkled her nose. That may have looked cool, but it was impractical, and would probably cost her the ma-

And then she spun around and lit up the player secreted behind a nearby rock; he had been just about to ambush her. He threw his paintball gun down in frustration.

The announcement came that the current match was over, and players should prepare for the next. But for some reason, no one seemed to be in a big hurry to leave.

Least of all the player who had just won. She stepped closer to the spectator area and pulled her mask off, and Rainbow’s jaw dropped.

Adagio Dazzle looked around at the cameras. She twirled her gun around her finger, held it up, winked… and then stuck out her tongue and dragged it along the barrel.

Rainbow squinted, unsure how she felt about this rather lewd display. It might have been ‘repulsed’. But still, she wasn’t able to look away. The teenagers around her, though, cheered and banged on the glass, letting everyone know exactly how they felt.

She stepped up to face the window, and she pulled back her hood. A waterfall of orange hair tumbled out, and she raised her arms, as if she could hear the cheers through the glass. She stood in front and spoke. Even if her words had been muffled a bit by the screen, her attitude definitely hadn’t been; and Rainbow could clearly read the words on her lips.

“Welcome… to the reign of Queen Adagio.”


Adagio Dazzle stepped out of the arena and back into the lobby. She raised an eyebrow at the girl standing nearby, arms folded.

“Queen Adagio, eh?” Rainbow smirked. “I say ¡viva la revolución!”

Adagio smirked right back. “Rainbow Dash. How unexpected. I didn’t know you spoke Spanish.”

“I stay awake in class,” Rainbow returned. “Do you speak Spanish?”

Adagio clasped a hand over her heart. “Claro que sí, mi’ja; la mayoría de las canciones de amor están escritas… en español.”

“Don’t talk that way about my mother,” Rainbow snarled, jabbing a finger in Adagio’s face. “This is between you and me, so let’s keep it that way.”

Adagio chuckled and slid her hand away. “So cute in your ignorance,” she said, patting Rainbow on the head with her other hand.

Rainbow ducked away and didn’t rise to the bait (though she did scratch at her hair like she’d just walked through a spiderweb). “What’s your game, Adagio?” she demanded.

“Game?” Adagio asked innocently.

“You’re up to something,” Rainbow accused. “Don’t deny it.”

“Am I?” Adagio asked, frowning. She glanced down at her paintball gun, then looked up in mock confusion. “Whatever could that be?”

“I don’t know,” Rainbow admitted, “but I know you’re not just here for paintballing. I’m going to figure it out. Making people miserable isn’t going to fly with Rainbow Dash!”

Adagio raised an eyebrow. “Miserable? I don’t think that’s the term they’d use.” She looked over at someone nearby, and flashed him a peace sign, the little smirk never leaving her face. He looked around, realized that she had been waving at him, and quickly waved back, now wearing a goofy smile.

Rainbow blinked. That wasn’t the reaction she’d expected.

Adagio explained. “It is better to be adored than feared; and here, I get to be both.” She held out her arms, as if expecting a round of applause.

Rainbow felt the urge to wipe that little smirk off with a fist.

When she looked back, Adagio had left. She was walking over to her locker. It had been decorated with her name written out in sparklies. They probably had a real name, but Rainbow didn’t know it.

Adagio reached for the combination lock, looked back at Rainbow, and made a little shooing motion with her free hand. Rainbow scowled and crossed her arms, but she did take a respectful step back as she put in her combination.

Rainbow blinked again as Adagio opened it. Her locker had been stuffed full of jackets—one of which she exchanged for the light jacket she wore—black bottles like the ones on the back of her gun, and boxes of paintballs; but on the bottom, she had stacks upon stacks of energy drinks. She lifted a pink one out, and smoothly popped the top and took a sip. She then looked up, as if shocked at herself. “Oh, where are my manners?” She held it out to Rainbow. “Want one?”

“Nah. That stuff’ll give you cancer,” Rainbow scowled. It wasn’t actually true; not as far as she knew, anyway. In fact, the watermelon flavor was her favorite kind. But she wasn’t about to tell Adagio that.

Adagio shrugged and took another long drink. Rainbow briefly wondered if she were trying to show off her shotgunning ability. If she was, Rainbow wasn’t intimidated. At all. Really.

Not in the slightest.

She finished it and tossed it over her shoulder, and it landed right in the recycling bin.

Rainbow scowled again, once more impressed against her will.

Adagio smiled as if she knew a juicy secret as she shut her locker. “Well, I’m flattered you came to see me; but I really must be going. Work waits for no one.”

“You work?” Rainbow asked, surprised.

Adagio grinned. “Surprised?”

“A little,” Rainbow admitted, bringing one hand up to scratch behind her neck. “I kinda figured you just sang for everyth-”

Adagio grabbed Rainbow’s hand and twisted, somehow getting the leverage to slam Rainbow against the lockers. Before Rainbow could react, Adagio had pressed the front of her body up against hers.

She placed a finger over Rainbow’s lips before she could begin to protest. “Rainbow, Rainbow,” she said, half-soothing, half-scolding. “I have many diverse talents; some more… marketable than others.” She met Rainbow’s eyes and, without breaking eye contact, ran her tongue across the front of her teeth.

Now more than a little bit disturbed, Rainbow tried to push her away; but Adagio was faster. She subtly sidestepped, leaving Rainbow to push at nothing but air.

With a sultry wink, she turned around and pulled the hood of her jacket over her voluminous hair, somehow managing to tame it as she did so. Once she did, the symbols on the back were revealed: ‘Her Majesty’ was written in a shiny, sparklied curly script, and a queen symbol Rainbow recognized from Fluttershy’s little attempt at chess club adorned her back.

Rainbow scowled as Adagio walked away. She could swear she was swaying her hips a lot more than strictly necessary. This isn’t over.